Chapter 9
Nothing may have stopped you, but the rain and the damn mud would certainly slow you down. The two of you trudged through the muck, soaked to the bone. No words were spoken, at least none that you could hear over the downpour.
It had been a few hours after Amber’s supply run. Things had been looking up, and you had headed further into the woods for safety. The hope had been those supplies would last you two until you found another town. But the forest here seemed…off. The weather had been calm and clear when suddenly a storm had rolled in out of nowhere out of the blue.
Lightning coiled across the sky, and thunder shook you to your core.
We can’t keep going in this…you thought, we’ll either get fried or drown. Don’t wanna risk us getting separated, either.
Although she couldn’t hear you, it seemed Amber had the same idea. She was frequently looking over her shoulder to make sure you still there.
Apparently whatever god ruled this place decided you’d had enough punishment for once, and you came across a large cave. Once inside, the first thing you did was take a closer look at the back end of the cave. Had to make sure there weren’t any Crystal Corgis, or Slate Shiba’s, or whatever cave-dwelling bullshit could be thrown at you. Thankfully the cave didn’t go back all that far. You guessed it was about twenty feet high, and about fifty to the back. No smaller tunnels, no cavern critters, nothing.
Finally, you sighed to yourself I catch a break.
……
Huh, I half expected that to blow up in my fa-
A mighty roar shook the surrounding area, somehow drowning out the rain and the thunder. Whatever it was, it was BIG and it was CLOSE.
…There go…
The ground began to shake as a fucking MASSIVE BEAR appeared out of the tree line. And not like a large bear, no, this thing was taller than some of the trees, blue for some reason, and it looked like it was made of starlight. It also looked soaked, tired, and pissed off.
Amber took a few steps back, her eyes wide and her ears flat against her head.
“What…is that?” you hissed to her. “Is this a bad thing?”
“An Ursa Minor…” she whispered back. “Very, very bad.”
You look around frantically for a place to hide.
No such luck. The cave was practically empty, with no place to hide and only a few rocks laying around. Maybe there was enough time for the two of you to dart out of the cave and-
A deep growl told you your time was up.
You’d thought the Diamond Dogs had big teeth, but the fangs in front of you made those look like tiny thorns. It was like looking at a cage made of ivory, only pointy and more likely to end in horrific dismemberment. An unholy growl reverberated through the cave shaking you to your core.
Amber said…something. Either you couldn’t hear her over the growl, or your ears had shut down out of fear. You were vaguely aware of her magic weakly trying to tug you away from the beast. If you had to guess, she was probably trying to urge you to run. Or something like that. Whatever she was trying to do wasn’t likely to happen. Everything had just…shut down.
Air rushed past your face as the bear snarled once more. It opened its maw, preparing to snap you up into whatever heaven or hell awaited you. Kinda ironic when you thought about it.
-THWACK-
A rock hit the monster in the snout. Another followed seconds later, this one hitting it directly in the eye. It snarled in fury and snapped its head to the right. Amber stood defiant, several rock floating in her grasp, and only slightly trembling.
The mighty bear raised it immense paw and swung at your equine companion. She stood her ground and faced her destiny.
Time slowed.
Thoughts emptied.
Your body began to move. Why were you moving now, when you could have moved to save yourself mere moments before?
Something more important.
Just before she was crushed, your shoulder connected with Amber’s. You managed to propel her out destruction’s path. Unfortunately, that meant the paw was coming straight at your face.
Huh, your last thought echoed throughout your mind, at least I did something worthwhile.
You didn’t even feel it when you got hit. Shock’s a hell of a drug, apparently. Unfortunately, it didn’t help as much as you flew though the air. Serious airtime, at least forty feet straight into solid, unyielding stone, and you were not exactly going slow. You definitely felt a rib snap, maybe three, along with several other bones. Not like you were too interested in counting at the moment. At least it wasn’t your neck. The pain was…incredible, to say the least.
Your vision managed to focus after a moment, and you saw Amber running towards you. She screamed… something, but your ears wouldn’t stop ringing. Tears were streaming down her face as she tried to get to you, but the bear cut her off. The bear barreled towards her, fangs and claws flashing as the lightning crashed outside.
The pain spiked as you tried to move. As much as you wanted to, your body had tapped out. You were forced to watch as Amber fought for her life. To her credit, she managed to last a good while. Unfortunately, she ran out of room to run as she hit the wall of the cave. The beast brought up a massive paw that sent her sailing straight up into the air.
Time slowed again.
Your eyes met. She looked…sad.
She hit the floor. Hard.
And didn’t move again.
You began tremble, less from pain, but from rage. At the monster, yourself, this whole fucking world. If only you could just DO SOMETHING.
The monster leaned over, its massive jaw opened to snap up your friend as you lay helpless.
Suddenly a sack flew out from the darkness, connecting with the beast’s snout, which exploded into a yellowish-green powdery cloud. The bear reared up, pawing at its face furiously. Then, it started sneezing. Over and over, sneeze after sneeze. After a few minutes of this, it ran off into the rain whining in between sneezes.
The world began to blur and fade again as the adrenaline wore off. A cloaked figure approached the cave. Given your history with cloaked figures, you were skeptical about this one’s intentions.
Not that you could do anything, what with the losing consciousness and all that.
Man, these two just can't catch a break, can they? 
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I've got 50 bits on that being Zecora.
So Zecora then?
This is why Trixie want to stay away from Ponyville (and its neighbor forest) as much as possible.
10477417
Dang you beat me to the punch
10477417
Agreed
I think they caught plenty of breaks there. Good thing Mama wasnt there to see Junior getting dusted, but hopefully she will bust them, the bear, for messing with the small fry, everthing else.
Now to see what magical potions in the Everfree do to our new to the magical realm demonic human? Any intrestesting and unexpected side effects?
How can that be considered bad luck? They were saved. There's a lot more caves where that would not be the case.
10477417
it can be none else
Sexy Zebra to the rescue!
F
You just had to leave us with a cliffhanger
Oh hai Zecora.
Zecora is the only one i can think of... Are they in the Evertree Forest?
10477417
That is a fool's bet
10477417
And I got 100 and a copy of the Hitchhiker’s Guide.
10477580
A fool would bet against it not being her. They are more than likely in the Everfree Forest.
I know right? It’s almost like there is some higher being that is directly controlling their entire existence that is causing conflict in their life for the purpose of developing their character and relationship.
Its Batman!
this is rather good so far, however I'd suggest writing longer chapters,2-3 thousand words, these feel like I'm reading through them too fast since it took me a whole whoppin 15 minutes to read this entire thing
10477719
i strongly agree 2500-3000 words should be the bare minimum per chapter in any story and imho no more than around 8000-10000 not counting one shots
It'd be nice if that's Zecora. Then she can explain to Twiggy and the Spazzes that a human is not a demon... we just act like them on occasion.
But at tue rate things are going she's probably going to cut parts of our protagonist off to use for "demon" ingredients.
Hmm... Zecora ?
Or somepony more Great and Powerful ?
-30 minutes earlier-
Me: Ooh, a new chapter from this semi-serious but overall wholesome story! I wonder how they're doing.
-27 minutes later-
Still me: ... Uuhhm ... I guess its not "semi-serious" anymore.
I'm starting to lose interest here. Almost no comedy for the last few chapters and none in this one. All we have is a helpless guy who can't do anything to change his situation and the world that shits on him for no reason.
10477853
Ah yes, a demon-monkey ear and a demon-monkey testicle. What do you mean hair and nails, they are just chitin.
Congratulations! Your featured!
10477554
Yes, yes I did.
10477642
I know, right? Weird.
10477687
Aw man, spoilers.
That bear is a mennace and belongs in jail!
We can't do much in court though
Why not? That thing almost killed me!
We can't really convict him beyond community service since he's a minor
I don't know. I think they broke plenty
10478372
PUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10477417
No Way, That's a suckers bet.
10479042
The joke may yet be on you, if it turns out to be Zecora's cousin, Didgeridoo.
But it's probably Zecora.
10477417
It MUST be Zecora, striped patron saint of those lost in the Everfree...
10478366
When I read this, I thought he would develop some sort of power, thankfully it's only zecorra-ex machina to the rescue.
Given they just got slapped around by an Ursa, I'd say they probably caught plenty of breaks.
If they don't need a body cast afterwards, lucky them.
10477417
10479042
Most definitely a Sucker's bet.
10477719
10477768
Yeah, 4 minutes is a rather quick chapter...
Good luck rhyming
10477523
I've never really found a good opportunity to mention this, but this is a pretty good one. If you were to compare Zecora's official character model to that of almost any other pony's, you would discover that Zecora canonically has a gigantic ass by their world's standard.
10480607
I always liked her melodious voice and accent. Even without the rhyming, I would want to hear her talk dirty to a lover. But this is a T-rated fic, so I will say no more.
(You go, Brenda)
10480607
BBZM. Big and Beautiful Zebra Mare.
10480622
Her voice is deep and husky, and I like her jewelry and angular muzzle-shape. If you were to translate her face to human standards, she would probably have an Angelina Jolie jawline. She'd also probably be a really "low maintenance" GF since she willingly lives in the woods by herself, so she wouldn't mind if you only visited her on the weekends and didn't get her fancy gifts all the time.
Now I want to read a Zecora romance fic...
10480666
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/60075/the-poison-of-passion (M-rated)
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/69904/black-and-white-and-red-all-over (E-rated)
10480886
Thanks!
On the contrary, several breaks were made. Ribs and Bones.
I came for the comedy. I'm kinda staying for the plot. I mean, characters.
Joking aside, I'm getting invested in them , and that's why I'm following the story now.
One of the basic rules of survival, there are no unclaimed shelters. If a cave is empty, it because something scared everything out.
Shameless Self insert and waifu combo vs the government, who wins? find out next time on-*shot several times with a recharger rifle*
See? Everything is fine!