• Member Since 16th Dec, 2019
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Small steps. Commissions are closed for the moment. Just working through my queue.

Comments ( 27 )

This could do with some kind of tag warning about the 'kind' of cock worship here, in terms of hygiene, or lack thereof and such. Wasn't prepared for those kinds of descriptions

Yeh while personally I like it, I think a tag mentioning the heavy musk/smells/taste would be no bad thing.

I need some kind of sequel bad.

This is a great story I hope there ends up being a sequel

I had to reply with that video:twilightblush:.

I guess when Twilight went on the 'attack' I wish she said "I'm not lock in here with you Tempest, your lock in here with me."

Really hot dynamic you create here ^^

Comment posted by Luna Aeterna Solutae deleted May 14th, 2020

Like a wedding with pregnant-belly Tempest?

I hope there's a sequel where she got her pregnant.

There is the aftermath of how addictive it is.

Twilight was as smooth as Bond there 007 would approve.

Going in, I wasn't sure what to expect with this one. Non-con, okay. Muscle Tempest, you've got me. Futas, yes please. But, wait, futa Twiggy? I'm a fan, obviously (Twi is one of my favorites to slap a dong on), but she's the prisoner... And also smaller... But there's cock worship, and muskplay... Just what am I getting myself into?

A fun little story, as it turns out. A fun little story, indeed. I'm a sucker for "small gal with beeg schlong", and I think Twilight is a very good choice for that. I think it often gets downplayed that alicorns are meant to have the traits of all of the pony tribes, including earth pony strength. It would make sense for her to be deceptively strong for her size and build. I really liked this Twilight, as well. So calm and in control, almost calculating in some ways. Definitely my thing.

I don't know how I feel about you calling this non-con, if I'm being totally honest. I mean, yes, technically, Twilight didn't consent to being groped by Tempest, nor did Tempest verbally consent to getting dicked into next week, but I don't know if that means the story needs that tag. To me, non-con means something more aggressive and overt, with one party either openly refusing consent or in some manner legitimately incapable of giving permission (asleep, under duress, dead), so this is dub-con in my mind. That doesn't change much of anything in regards to quality, but it does shift my expectations a bit. I'm a little disappointed there was no real struggle between the two, no fighting or crying or anything. Tempest just realized she was somewhat interested, took note that Twilight was strong, and just let it happen. Not a bad thing, just something other than I was expecting.

If I'm gonna complain about something, and you can bet your sweet ass I'm gonna complain about something (because I'm a grumpy asshole who didn't get hugged enough as a kid), I will say that I wish Twilight had more to say in this thing. I could've gone for more banter between the two, so we could see the shift of power in a better way than you just telling us. It would've given the story a bit more oomph, in my opinion.

Additionally, there's a few spelling and formatting hiccups. Nothing too distracting, but I think you could have benefited from one last pass of editing. Granted, we're veering into nitpick territory here, but hey, I'm a judge. Judges gotta judge.

The biggest sticking point for me is the musk stuff. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind that kinda thing. I actually quite like it, usually. Something about this particular scene, though... It feels a bit out of place. It wasn't bad, but I felt like it was a somewhat disconnected idea that didn't tie into the main story very well. It gives off the impression that it was included only because "wouldn't it be hot if Twilight's cock stank?". Which, you know what, fair enough. I just wish it connected better. Maybe if it was Tempest who had a powerful scent, because of sweaty muscles, it would click for me, but as it stands... A bit of a dud.

I know I have a tendency to sound fairly negative, on account of I'm an asshole, so I want to clarify that I really did enjoy this story. I thought it was, for the most part, a well-planned idea that you executed nicely, barring a few hiccups. I have no problem giving this my seal of approval (and fuck it, have a favorite, too)

Thank you for your participation in Muscle Mania 2020! We here on the judge's council wish you the best of luck!

Hello! Contest judge DrySpell here to give you my review of your story.

I really enjoyed it!

Descriptive language seems to be your strong suit, and I like that you played into it. There was never really a moment where I didn't know what was going on or what was being described. There were a few times I would say that the description wasn't very necessary, or went too in depth, but that's more of a personal thing, and I wouldn't take it as a slight against the story. On a different note, there were very few technical errors that I could spot on a first read, though I will be giving it a few more once overs as I give my objective story rating.

The pacing of the story seems pretty on point with only a few breaks in flow. The transformation from domination to dominated was interesting, and could have been enhanced with just a bit more dialogue interaction between the two. The dialogue in general was a bit lackluster, but I can tell it wasn't your main focus, so I won't harp on it too much.

All in all, a solid story. I wish you the best of luck with the contest, friend!

I liked everything except the size of it. I couldn’t picture it in my head, a case of Too Big Cock Monster, really. Love the rest. Still had to hit the red button.

Sorry, I think?

Bro you look and sound 12 lmao, why are reading this shit? XD

I’m 21, but I can get a bit wordy sometimes. Analytical, too. And I’ve been told I have a weird way of describing things, it shows in my analogies

Thanks for the fic!

As enjoyable as that was, I REALLY wish it wasn't anthro-themed.

What a Stacy

Really, really good. A great progression of going from dominant to submissive.
The end though felt a tad rushed. Like just a few more paragraphs of Twilight taunting her and Tempest's despairing about her fall would have made it perfect.

This was a lot hotter than I expected. Wonderfully done! I love the slow submission of Temptest, how she kept telling herself that she's still in control when she so obviously not. Huff good story indeed

Thank you! It's great to hear that the story exceeded your expectations. :twilightsmile:

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