After ‘The Last Problem’ a new story has begun:
Luster Dawn, a talented unicorn from Canterlot is sent to Ponyville by her mentor, Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Ruler of Equestria. Tasked to learn about the Magic of Friendship in the School of Friendship, Luster starts learning friendship, but in a different way from her mentor did.
But not long after having her own team of friends, a challenge is thrown in front of Luster and her team. They eventually got through it, became known as heroes, and finally, graduated from the school and were free to learn friendship on their own.
Now in an environment that resembles the one Twilight was in long ago, Luster and her friends go on many adventures to discover the Magic of Friendship and report it to Princess Twilight.
This is my tenth story, and the first to be a story series. All the good values and morals I would like to show everyone will be shown in this story, so the rest of my stories (which are linked to it) will not have to. This is also the first story to have some of my artwork (which are not digital) posted on DeviantArt, meant to show some of the scenes described in its chapters/episodes.
And this killed the story for me. Goodbye. *leaves*
I am sorry that Starlight and Sunburst did not raise Luster Dawn. I figured that the only way for Luster to be both the anti-friendship pony she was in 'The Last Problem' and the biological daughter of the Heads of the School is for her to not be raised by her parents. But Starlight Glimmer1's comment gave me the idea of a chapter/episode of Luster's parents trying to spend family time with her, in order to improve their relationship. I will be working on that chapter after I finish the chapters that come before it. Please be patient and give me time.
Have to say, great job on the start of this fan-made sequel series. The exchanges, characterizations and future chapter/episode set-up are all well done in all the right places. I particularly liked how the very first scene so closely mirrored the opening of the actual series as well as the greater detail of Luster's first meetings with her new friends, the reactions the other students had to meeting Luster, that first "friendship test" and the bit of mystery worked in (especially the gang helping investigate Twilight's odd behavior). And, yeah, tying this in to the anniversary of the day of Rainbow Dash's first Sonic Rainboom (which is ALSO Spike's birthday) is another great detail.
On to the next chapter.
This is some story so far. I can’t wait to see how it develops.
VERY good job on the second chapter/episode. The exchanges, characterizations, action, general wrap-up and future episode set-up are all pretty well done. I especially loved the parallels to both the Mane Six's first adventure together AND the Royal Wedding (as the gang themselves observed), as well as the gang using the stuff they learned to get through the assorted traps and ultimately get through to Eclipse Instant (who switched minds with Twilight). And, yeah, ending the chapter/episode on a song so similar to the opening theme of the actual show was especially appropriate.
All in all, you are doing a wonderful job combining series faithfulness with your own stuff.
And, on to the next chapter/episode.
Darn good job on this chapter/episode. Once more, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter/episode set-up are all wonderfully done. I LOVED the bits of Leaning on the Fourth Wall concerning Alkali's recap of the story, the parallels in this story to both Luna Eclipsed AND Rainbow Rocks (in the latter case, a reformed villain helping stop a troublemaker), how well you used inspiration from an Imagination Spot in "Celestial Advice" for the main antagonist in THIS story and Spike and Twilight observing just how much Luster reminds them of Twilight herself at that age. Plus, yeah, the sincere apologies and good deeds ARE a pretty good way to re-earn trust. The gang had an excellent point on THAT.
REALLY looking forward to more of this series.
REALLY good job on the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I especially enjoyed Sunset's cameo at the start of the episode, Volcano's realization that his lessons were knowledgeable but boring, Alkali getting a little too much into the positive attention she was getting when she was trying to help out Volcano and how Volcano's jealous and Alkali's obliviousness made the situation worse. That's certainly something that gives them a bit of common ground with a certain pair of alicorns over in Silver Shoals.
Very certainly looking forward to more of this.
Nice, I'm making a big Luster Dawn story too.
Is Neighsay coming in the future episodes you would write down?
Thanks to Tiber Septim II's comment, I decided to feature Neighsay in an upcoming chapter/episode of the series. But it will most likely not be in the sixth, so it will take some time.
Excellent job on this latest chapter. Enjoyed the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations and general wrap-up in all the right places. And, indeed, the point is made about how writing a story that is popular might not be the same thing as writing a story that is good (i.e. teaches proper values). And the gang's chat with the author was really well done.
Definitely looking forward to the next chapter/episode.
Wonderful work on the exchanges, characterizations and general episode wrap-up in all the right places. REALLY enjoyed how the students' questions got Starlight and Sunburst thinking as well as how they DID try to spend quality time with Luster, only to get interrupted; which is a good way to teach that one should be VERY careful to make sure ALL important business is taken care of BEFORE you try to take a break. And good use of Shining Armor, Cadance and the adult Flurry Heart.
VERY certainly looking forward to more of this.
REALLY good work on this latest chapter. The exchanges, characterizations (and character development), general wrap-up and future chapter/episode set-up are all beautifully done. LOVED how the kids of the Mane Six (minus Twilight, who is waiting until after she retires, but plus a few others) were inspired by Luster and her friends, even if they got it wrong at first. On the upside, they did learn a pretty big lesson (partially in that being a hero isn't as easy as it looks, but also that real friends provide support not only by helping you when you need it, but by letting you know when you are making a big mistake).
Definitely looking forward to more of this.
YOu know I half expected Luster to snap this out when the letter arrived.
"The school is a wreck because you wanted to spend time with me! What were you thinking?! Better yet, what gave you the idea to spend time with me anyways?!"
When they said it was due to a student, she would've said this:
"And you listened to this student? That's it, I want to know exactly who was the complete featherbrain who gave you such a silly idea in the first place!"
Proceed finding out nd chewing her out for such a stupid idea.
Sorry I took a while responding to this. Nothing to blame except self-admitted laziness. Anyway, once again, really good job on the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Yeah, the lesson about not making the mistake of assuming an honest individual is bad at keeping secrets actually is a good one and the gang trying to plan that birthday party in advance was a great touch even with the aforementioned lesson needing to be worked in.
Certainly looking forward to the next chapter/episode.
Yeah. All I can say is excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future chapter/episode set-up in all the right places. Yeah, it is understandable that a moral values crusade can be taken too far. Yes, there are really good points on the likes of smoking and pollution, among other things, but morality needs to be tempered with other virtues, which this does a great job showing. And the origin of that moral crusade was great to show.
VERY definitely looking forward to more of your work.
Well, I have to say, once again, a really good job on the exchanges, characterizations, general chapter/episode wrap-up and future chapter/episode set-up in all the right places. And, yeah, I can definitely understand about preferring straight relationships. Heck, I prefer male-female myself (though I'm mature enough to respect the rights of those that don't). But, yeah, Sunshine brings up some pretty valid points about trying to find as many new male-female relationships as possible to keep the future going as long as possible. And, it also makes sense that these new couples might be a bit too new to each other to make the first move and need more gentle encouragement. The tender moments between the already-married couples are great too.
Definitely looking forward to more of this.
To be honest, I'm not much of a "Loud House" fan (I've heard of it, but I'm not exactly curious enough about it to take a look). Still, I DO have to say that this is a very well done chapter depicting some of Apple Bloom's rather large extended family. Yeah, the crew has a point about the balance between preserving future generations and not OVER-populating. And I DID really like the gang's efforts to educate ALL those children.
Anyway, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all quite well done in all the right places.
Definitely going to be looking forward to seeing what you come up with next.
Excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Yeah, I can understand Alkali being upset by her younger brother using his relationship with her to drum up his business, though I did appreciate how the others helped the siblings work through their issues. And, yeah, also appreciated the scientific notes included in this.
Definitely looking forward to the next chapter/episode.
That song Always tear me up ðŸ˜
That's actually a big huge red flag right there because something is not right with twilight hmm very Suspicious
Ok not bad Of a start of a story Very interesting introduction of these characters just like in the beginning of the episode well Obviously 😅 And I do like how you The Buffalo into the group specially some people always keep forgetting about them So far I think you are the very 1st one of Put in the buffaloes into the Friendship of school so far but anyway luster really have a good start of making friends Even though it wasn't easy but she did it and Something is very wrong with twilight And whoever this was They need to find out how to stop her
Whoa that was really awesome so "Twilight trap the 10 kids in the cave and they have to find a way out but just like the very first episode each of the creatures have to go through of there strength which nice on giving each of them how they do it and it was a pretty epic battle even though they did not hurt anybody and it looks like that "Twilight is not Twilight but Impostor to gain Control of every creature in equestria but thanks to the 10 kids they save the day and rescue Twilight now there adventure begins cant wait 😀
Basically that's true But sometimes it doesn't have to be you just had to make it happen and learn from your mistakes
Ohh yeah thats true 😅
Question Would he be like one of those not reform changeling like all black and holes on there legs
Ok so Things did not go as well for Eclipse She still tied to Figure out how to get that grace and forgiveness from ponyville But things did not go as well Because somebody keeps pointing fingers or hoofs And tell everybody that she still evil but they found out it was a Changeling how had the same problem as well but somehow the kids help them And it looks like they forgive them and like I said forgiveness can be hard To earn but You can learn from it
Volcano
Oh that can't be good 😥
Well that's a convenient situation
Wow ok so Creatures at the school things Volcano Teaching was boring and I don't blame them to be honest my head hurts when I was reading lol but he ask Alkali to help him with the teaching Things were going OK but until oh boy Volcano got so jealous of Alkali Because you're know favoritism from the students and it didn't help that she Doesn't know what's going on so its like starlight When she literally bottled up her emotions Volcano got so much it finally breaks but good thing the kids got to them And they explain how someone they answer she made it was wrong and he was just trying explained Basically it was just miss communication from each other This was a pretty good chapter and a very good lesson
Whoa i was not expecting that lol She kind of reminds me of Batman When she have to change her voice
As much as I'm not a big fan of those as well but unfortunately they are popular 😕 I mean look at Stephen King
So when luster and sunshine Was looking for a new book they found a most popular book But it turns out to be a villain's horror story Which I was saying it is popular even in the real world At least that's what I've heard anyway so basically these kids have to find the Arthur to change his Ways about writing these stories and little help from eclipse and shape shifter And they finally got the book out and it looks like people Are starting to listen and basically love the book This was a pretty good chapter
How in the world dose she knows about Luster?
Ok well that was something so starlight and sunburst Are really determined to reconnect their daughter Which that understandable find they don't have to be Overbearing And they almost forgot about the school Good thing they realize that and it looks like they find a way To connect with their daughter even though They won't spend that a lot But at least a decent a time so nice chapter
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I already know that Stephen King's books are popular despite not being the type that teaches virtues, before I wrote this chapter/episode. Plus, I know that best and most popular do not have the same meanings, since good and popular do not have the same meanings, and they are not synonyms nor antonyms.
I am further encouraged to write this chapter/episode teaching this moral as I realised that many directors of TV Shows, and maybe some movies, usually do not make the best for the show or movie happen in the end. Such as not making the relationships that are actually alright to be canon, canon, no offence to to the directors of MLP, this time.
I just hope that my creation can encourage its readers to take in the morals and lessons featured, as it is important for us all to be good and do the right thing. Because wrongdoings, especially when they become popular, brings us all closer to the disastrous consequences, regardless of whether we are innocent, or not.
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Oh ok i got it
Ohhh so got it from his rainbow dash lol To be honest I don't like pie either
Ice to him?
Wow ok so Lil'Cheese and his friends wants to be like the Heroic Ten Which that's a typical kids they want to be like their heroes and lil cheese Ask two ponys to join in So they want to do something really nice for Former Chancellor Neighsay visit ( Which I'm glad he change after his 1st introduction ) But instead a can of with overboard and wax the floor which they should not do that because they over wax And causing every creature to slip a lot but thanks to the Heroic Ten They help them Lil'Cheese Learned his lesson never Manipulate or lie about that to his friends so that was a good chapter
Oh wow ok so its buff birthday so luster and her friends really want to surprise him Basically they had to keep a secret from him and Krona poor girl They never give her a chance to keep a secret so basically all of them are getting ready for the party things did not go According to plan but then Krona Decided to distract buff Which the others was surprised that she can do this she did a pretty awesome job there but anyway this was a pretty good story and a nice lesson to trust your friends that they can keep a secret When it's a birthday party or something a surprise of course lol
Whoa ok wow so sunshine has some issues about The difference Of morality and hateful After discovering the cigaret from her brother's friends She went overboard about her lecture Which I agreed about pollution and cigaret is bad for your health but When you insult the people and yelling and screaming and scaring them It never works out that's what you need to work together to make things better so people can listen this was a pretty good lesson about that and i never that of sunshine to be bad before she learn about Morality
Look I understand that but you gotta learn about A different between friendly teasing or a meaningful teasing
oh I'm Sensing some Déjà vu lol 😆
ohhhh Somebody got a little crush lol 😉
"All, as far as I read my books, declaring romantic feelings for some creature is a great step in a relationship development, so maybe they aren't ready for it," Luster explained.
"And many are scared that doing that will risk their relationship with the creature they love," Buffer pointed out.
"And going through really romantic things on the day they first met?" Nature Bloom added, "That's like taking an exam on the day they first studied!"
That's true relationship has to take their time so people can get used to each other Get to know each other
"In other words, you're putting them a rate that is too fast for them," Evergreen explained.
Aww thats was a nice chapter So the kids are planning a speed dating for a boy and girl to get to together Fall in love and having kids for next generation now Love can happen either same Gender relationship or opposite Gender relationship i mean love is love right? But the kids needs to know that relationship takes time and can't be rush or else other person to be nervous and not say nothing because they don't wanna ruined it so They decided to switch it up And let them get to know each other which that's a better way now I'm glad that Eclipse and twilight talk to each other And name made amends to each other which thats nice and it looks like luster has a crush on Nightfall Dusk 😉 lol and gallus and silverstream are really cute with each other That's another good lesson about relationship
I'm kind of in the mix about that Suggestion Because I came from a family who has more than 3 Siblings And if you want to look an example look at cheaper by the dozen they have more then 3 kids just saying
There's times I don't understand what they're talking about I get confuse Half the time Especially when sunshine made her rant on the last chapter