• Member Since 26th Apr, 2020
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Majestical4729


I am fiercely devoted to the good values I would like to teach.

E

After ‘The Last Problem’ a new story has begun:

Luster Dawn, a talented unicorn from Canterlot is sent to Ponyville by her mentor, Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Ruler of Equestria. Tasked to learn about the Magic of Friendship in the School of Friendship, Luster starts learning friendship, but in a different way from her mentor did.

But not long after having her own team of friends, a challenge is thrown in front of Luster and her team. They eventually got through it, became known as heroes, and finally, graduated from the school and were free to learn friendship on their own.

Now in an environment that resembles the one Twilight was in long ago, Luster and her friends go on many adventures to discover the Magic of Friendship and report it to Princess Twilight.


This is my tenth story, and the first to be a story series. All the good values and morals I would like to show everyone will be shown in this story, so the rest of my stories (which are linked to it) will not have to. This is also the first story to have some of my artwork (which are not digital) posted on DeviantArt, meant to show some of the scenes described in its chapters/episodes.

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 15 )

"That's because during one of my parents' visits, they told me about it, as the reason why they took their job of looking out for their students so seriously ." Luster explained.

"You sure are lucky to have the Heads of your school as your parents," Krona commented.

"Um, don't you remember the part where Starlight and Sunburst handed her to their parents, her maternal grandfather and paternal grandmother, when she was a baby?" Buffer reminded.

And this killed the story for me. Goodbye. *leaves*

I am sorry that Starlight and Sunburst did not raise Luster Dawn. I figured that the only way for Luster to be both the anti-friendship pony she was in 'The Last Problem' and the biological daughter of the Heads of the School is for her to not be raised by her parents. But Starlight Glimmer1's comment gave me the idea of a chapter/episode of Luster's parents trying to spend family time with her, in order to improve their relationship. I will be working on that chapter after I finish the chapters that come before it. Please be patient and give me time.

Have to say, great job on the start of this fan-made sequel series. The exchanges, characterizations and future chapter/episode set-up are all well done in all the right places. I particularly liked how the very first scene so closely mirrored the opening of the actual series as well as the greater detail of Luster's first meetings with her new friends, the reactions the other students had to meeting Luster, that first "friendship test" and the bit of mystery worked in (especially the gang helping investigate Twilight's odd behavior). And, yeah, tying this in to the anniversary of the day of Rainbow Dash's first Sonic Rainboom (which is ALSO Spike's birthday) is another great detail.

On to the next chapter.

This is some story so far. I can’t wait to see how it develops.

VERY good job on the second chapter/episode. The exchanges, characterizations, action, general wrap-up and future episode set-up are all pretty well done. I especially loved the parallels to both the Mane Six's first adventure together AND the Royal Wedding (as the gang themselves observed), as well as the gang using the stuff they learned to get through the assorted traps and ultimately get through to Eclipse Instant (who switched minds with Twilight). And, yeah, ending the chapter/episode on a song so similar to the opening theme of the actual show was especially appropriate.

All in all, you are doing a wonderful job combining series faithfulness with your own stuff.

And, on to the next chapter/episode.

Darn good job on this chapter/episode. Once more, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter/episode set-up are all wonderfully done. I LOVED the bits of Leaning on the Fourth Wall concerning Alkali's recap of the story, the parallels in this story to both Luna Eclipsed AND Rainbow Rocks (in the latter case, a reformed villain helping stop a troublemaker), how well you used inspiration from an Imagination Spot in "Celestial Advice" for the main antagonist in THIS story and Spike and Twilight observing just how much Luster reminds them of Twilight herself at that age. Plus, yeah, the sincere apologies and good deeds ARE a pretty good way to re-earn trust. The gang had an excellent point on THAT.

REALLY looking forward to more of this series.

REALLY good job on the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I especially enjoyed Sunset's cameo at the start of the episode, Volcano's realization that his lessons were knowledgeable but boring, Alkali getting a little too much into the positive attention she was getting when she was trying to help out Volcano and how Volcano's jealous and Alkali's obliviousness made the situation worse. That's certainly something that gives them a bit of common ground with a certain pair of alicorns over in Silver Shoals.

Very certainly looking forward to more of this.

Nice, I'm making a big Luster Dawn story too.

Is Neighsay coming in the future episodes you would write down?

Thanks to Tiber Septim II's comment, I decided to feature Neighsay in an upcoming chapter/episode of the series. But it will most likely not be in the sixth, so it will take some time.

Excellent job on this latest chapter. Enjoyed the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations and general wrap-up in all the right places. And, indeed, the point is made about how writing a story that is popular might not be the same thing as writing a story that is good (i.e. teaches proper values). And the gang's chat with the author was really well done.

Definitely looking forward to the next chapter/episode.

Wonderful work on the exchanges, characterizations and general episode wrap-up in all the right places. REALLY enjoyed how the students' questions got Starlight and Sunburst thinking as well as how they DID try to spend quality time with Luster, only to get interrupted; which is a good way to teach that one should be VERY careful to make sure ALL important business is taken care of BEFORE you try to take a break. And good use of Shining Armor, Cadance and the adult Flurry Heart.

VERY certainly looking forward to more of this.

REALLY good work on this latest chapter. The exchanges, characterizations (and character development), general wrap-up and future chapter/episode set-up are all beautifully done. LOVED how the kids of the Mane Six (minus Twilight, who is waiting until after she retires, but plus a few others) were inspired by Luster and her friends, even if they got it wrong at first. On the upside, they did learn a pretty big lesson (partially in that being a hero isn't as easy as it looks, but also that real friends provide support not only by helping you when you need it, but by letting you know when you are making a big mistake).

Definitely looking forward to more of this.

YOu know I half expected Luster to snap this out when the letter arrived.

"The school is a wreck because you wanted to spend time with me! What were you thinking?! Better yet, what gave you the idea to spend time with me anyways?!"

When they said it was due to a student, she would've said this:

"And you listened to this student? That's it, I want to know exactly who was the complete featherbrain who gave you such a silly idea in the first place!"

Proceed finding out nd chewing her out for such a stupid idea.

Sorry I took a while responding to this. Nothing to blame except self-admitted laziness. Anyway, once again, really good job on the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Yeah, the lesson about not making the mistake of assuming an honest individual is bad at keeping secrets actually is a good one and the gang trying to plan that birthday party in advance was a great touch even with the aforementioned lesson needing to be worked in.

Certainly looking forward to the next chapter/episode.

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