Doom’s POV
“Princess Celestia, if I knew you were coming I would have brought a cake.” Doom almost missed it. The slight twitch of Celestia’s eyebrow, the truth was if it wasn’t for the advance sensors he would have missed it.
“I take it you are Doctor Victor von Doom. By right of the Sombra Acord, I have arrived to deal with the Nightmare Creature incursion. Where are they?”
“AUNTY, This creature summoned those monsters!”
“It slaughtered our Guards! Please, Princess, Save us!” Screamed the chamberlain.
“I haven’t killed any guards. They are all asleep or recovering from a nightmare, all of those creatures I had banished shortly after.”
“YOU Summoned Nightmare creatures! Do you understand how dangerous they are.”
“Of course I know Celestia. I’m not a foolish girl who kept one as a friend because her big sister ignored her.”
‘Oh Burn!’ Hans' voice spoke up in his mind.
“That thing killed three of my personal. It’s a monster.”
“Oh? You mean these ponies?” Doom opened his hand and a holographic display showed the three ponies in the field.
“What have you done, you armor-plated moron!” The voice of Penny Pincher was broadcasted as they all saw the figures displayed in the glowing light.
“You lamentable dullard use your eyes. That tatzlwurm attacked your employee and I defeated it before any lives were lost.”
The sky blue Pegasus spoke up. “I was about to dive-bomb that thing when you blasted it and caused it to come out of its tunnel.”
Penny Pincher spoke then “that resulted in more property damage. I demand restitution those seed pods are worth more than any pathetic griffon. There are plenty of those who would work for food...” Doom closed his fist.
“The argument ended in a fight and yes they died. Tell me Celestia is Dreamweed illegal in Equestria? Is the life of a Griffon worth more than a drug”?
His scanners picked it up, he was sure few saw the doubt nor the anger in her face as she looked out to the Dreamweed fields. “I was told some were being grown for scientific research. It true the Dreamweed is useful in medical endeavors, but been found to be addictive.” Celestia turns to look at Blueblood. “Those are more than any research could need. We will speak of this later!”
“So Celestia you trusted the word of your nephew and never sent anyone to double-check. Come to think you have the habit of ignoring family. Tell me how is Sunset Shimmer doing?”
Doom’s sensors picked up the temperature increasing including sparks of flames around Celestia’s hooves.
“DON’T you DARE Say that name!”
“I dare. Go ahead and attack me, but I warn you. To even harm me you would need to generate a blast hot enough to kill most of those behind me.”
‘Um… Doom is it wise to piss off the Sun Goddess? Where is there an escape hatch? I want out of your head before we find out what a microwaved egg feels like.’ Hans’ voice echoed again in his mind.
Blueblood didn’t wait, Doom noticed the energy build-up before the magical blast struck against his armor’s protective shield.
“Ah, that reminds me…” Doom opened his palm again and projected the image of the duel. “I trust the Griffons at my back. You Equestrians already tried to shoot me in the back.” He closed his hand.
Celestia turns almost faster than Doom could record her horn lights and she fires a complicated spell. Blueblood and his posse were encased in golden solid energy similar to a spell used by Starlight Glimmer during one of the trips back in time. Doom makes a mental note to visit that town before she messes up reality in this universe.
A yell from Gilda “They are getting away!” was heard and Doom turned and saw the council member being grabbed by the mob of civilians.
“See Celestia I’m not a conqueror, I’m a liberator. This is not a monster invasion it’s a revolution. Now just like I told your sister. Get your diplomats and civilians out of Griffon territory. After all, there are a bunch of griffons here who might decide to take a little anger aggression out on them.”
Celestia looked to the now pinned down griffon council members and then to Doom. “Very well I see the Sombra accord doesn’t justify my interference in this situation. But if we detect any more Nightmare Creatures…”
“About that… just one more.” Doom lifted the infinity gauntlet. Unlike before he tried to eliminate Hans from his mind. That didn’t work because Hans’s mind was intertwined with his own. It was the equivalent of cutting off his arm. This time was different; he wasn’t trying to destroy something in his mind. He was giving Hans what he wanted a way out. With both Hans and Doom having similar thoughts the Infinity Gems awoke.
The darkness seemed to form at Doom’s feet then rising from the mass of shadow came the faceless white-headed and black butler outfit with white gloves.
Celestia's eyes narrow and Doom noticed the temperature increased again. Enough so he could visually see the distortion in the air.
Hans bows before Celestia. “Greetings Celestia. It’s a pleasure, I’m Hans.”
Celestia rushes forward slicing Hans head off his neck. The body stood as the head fell to the ground and splatter into a black mass. The dark mass oozes back to the main body and reforms another faceless head. “Oh, did I say something wrong?” Hans looks to Doom. “I told you we needed a cake.”
She swings the sword again but this time it hits Doom’s gauntlet. “Attack my follower again and you regret it, Celestia. Hans is no Nightmare Creature.”
“Luna knows what a Nightmare is, DOOM!”
“I fought the king of Nightmares and won. No one attacks those under Doctor Doom’s protection! Perhaps you need a real lesson in what power you face!”
Looking up at the sun he lifted his left arm. “Behold the power of DOCTOR DOOM! Twice now you Equestrians have corrupted the power of the Sun and Moon. A thousand years ago Nightmare Moon caused massive quakes when she created the eclipse, a few months ago she prevented the sun from rising. You failed in your sacred duty!”
“NO!” The gauntlet flashes and the world stops. Doom’s mind expanded and he could see Celestia was in an attack, her sword now glowing with heat and flames as it was coming to his head.
This was no matter to Doom; his perspective was altered by the Infinity Gauntlet. The Time stone gave him an unlimited amount of time to plan his moves. The Mind stone gave him knowledge of all he desired.
He rewound time viewing the quakes that happened when Celestia moved the Sun after Nightmare Moon was defeated. He calculated the quakes were in the 5 or 6 range.
Deep into the planet, he saw the effects of the sun and moon moving rapidly. The magma like the oceans had tides. When the royal sisters move the celestial objects to fast they create a surge. This was the cause of the daily quakes, the crust shifting as the magma reacted to the gravity of the sun and moon.
Farther back he watched farther then Nightmare Moon’s first appearance, he watched the fighting as the three tribes went to war. He watched as the world rewound thousands, tens of thousands, even hundreds of thousands of years.
Nearly two hundred thousand years ago there were no Unicorns, no Earth ponies, No Pegasus. All the ponies were Alicorns. This surprised him some, Celestia and Luna were not the first of Pony evolution, they were the last of a species.
Time stopped again Equis was now in orbit of a normal yellow sun much like Sol. There were 10 other planets in the system bringing the planets of this Equestrian planetary system to 11. He watched as a 12th planet entered the system.
A rogue planet, a Super-Earth classed planet was wrecking its way through the system. He saw massive crystalline structures, natural in configuration across the planet’s crust.
It got close to Equis pulling the planet of the ponies out of orbit as the crystal laced planet passed. Massive quakes raged across both, a bit of crystal was flung from the rogue planet and landed in the center of the landmass that is now Equestria.
The crystal shard became the Lone mountain the Ponies now call Mount Canterhorn. The now drifting Equis planet was moving away from its native sun. Storms, impact winter, and planetary apocalyptic disasters raged across the surface.
One group of Alicorns went to work fighting the wild weather, these were the ancestors of the Pegasus. Even to this day, the descendants controlled the weather even if they no longer know why.
The group that worked the land making sure there was enough food were the ancestors of the Earth Ponies.
It was the ancestors of the Unicorns that caught Doom’s attention. They build a fortress, the very Fortress of Talacon from the Daring Don’t episode. The Rings are part of a massive enchanted set of objects that were meant to control a new Sun and Moon. The Sun that now orbits Equis was artificially made by magic of the lost Alicorns.
It worked unlike the Unicorns, or the Royal Sisters the Rings of Destiny kept control all day and night. Where the Royal Sisters only corrected the orbits every morning and night.
Why did they change? Why did the Unicorns stop using the Rings of Destiny to control the Sun and Moon? He watched as the descendants of the Alicorns became greedy they created spells that replicate the Rings of Destiny. Then dismantled the Enchanted device. That was the first sin, greed. They lusted for power and they used the Sun and Moon to get offerings from the Earth Ponies where before they had to farm themselves.
Doom now knows the history of the Sun. He knew the flaw in the magic, he knew the truth.
Time was now returning to normal and Doom guided his will to the Sun. With a thought he dissected the sun viewing every layer and the chemical composition. Then with the Infinity Gauntlet, he started adding more Hydrogen and Helium to the artificial sun.
As the sun started to grow he pushed it back, this would be impossible for lesser beings. Keeping a constant increase in components and moving the sun at the same time. To fast adding the elements he would burn the planet, to fast-moving and he would freeze the world. Doom once was God Doom of the Battle world. Moving planets and repairing the sun was a child's play to the vast intellect of Victor von Doom. Some small part of his mind accepted the fact the Mind stone helped.
During this time he snaps the chains of magic binding both the Sun and Moon. With a thought, the moon was back on a normal orbit around the world like it was 200 thousand years ago.
The now normal size young sun settled in place and Doom nudged the planet into its proper alighted orbit. No longer was the Equestrian system strange. The only oddity was it was a single planet revolving around the sun.
This Doom fixed as well as he reached out to that Super-Earth planet that disrupted the orbit of Equis and pulled it back setting it up as the next planet in the system. A shield for Equis much likes how Jupiter protected asteroids for Earth. Other asteroids and dwarf planets he drew in. The system was small and if someone took notice they would see things were odd. But it wouldn’t be as obvious as a sun orbiting a planet.
Time returned and he looked Celestia in the eyes as her sword met the force field protecting him.
“Two Thousand years ago this planet was nearly destroyed. Your ancestors saved the world by making a fake sun. Later their descendants the Unicorns abused their duty and used the Sun as a means to gain power. YOU Never changed that habit. Never restored the Rings of Destiny to the Fortress of Talacon. The threat that you will use the Sun as a weapon, prevented your nation from being attacked. This is no longer the case. NOW BE GONE!”
Doom saw Celestia’s hair catch fire as she screams and she releases a blast of fire at him. But before that flaming hit him he snapped his fingers. Celestia, the fire, and every other Equestrian in Griffon territory were teleported to Canterlot. He didn’t care what happened when the spell appeared in the city.
Turning around he saw the looks of the Griffons. “Now for the wonders your ancestors left you.” He walked to the cart and lifted the Idol of Boreas.
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Celestia’s POV
Screams… she heard screams. Her ponies in pain but she was enraged. How dare DOOM steal the sun from her. HER SUN, Her Day!
“SISTER! FOCUS! STOP THIS!”
Luna? She blinks and Luna comes into focus. “What are you doing here?... wait…”
Canterlot, she was in Canterlot. Before she was the remains of a building, the scent of burnt wood, melted stone, and…
“No…”
“Celestia, why did you attack?” A Pegasus Guard landed.
“No no…” She rushed forward and saw the rubble remains of ponies. Three dead charred corpses among the rubble. “DOOM! It was Doom he and Hans they must have spelled me. I was so angry and they teleported me here when I attacked.” Celestia looked around seeing the fear in her ponies' faces. Fear of her.
Luna saw the looks as well. “Now you know how they saw me a thousand years ago.” Luna looks to the guards. “Get a crew on this building now! I WANT IT SEARCHED! No stone unturned to make sure we account for anypony inside. This was the fault of a Monster called Doom in Griffonstone! You all saw it! Celestia appeared in a flash of white light, not her golden aura! Don’t let it tricks deceive you!”
Celestia took up a determined look. “We need to head inside. It's going to take detailed planning to deal with Doom and Hans.”
The two royal sisters headed into the castle. Prince Blueblood and his posse still encased in crystallized magic.
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Gilda’s POV
Gilda had first talon experience in being pinned down by Boulder Dash. So pinning the Chamberlain to the ground was surprisingly easy.
Doom looks over to the held council members but then he looks to the minotaur. A moan then “Ugh…”
Doom knelt. “Stoneslasher how are you feeling?”
“What… what happened we were fighting then... My legs… I can’t feel my legs.”
“The equestrians interfered. Blueblood was aiming at me.”
“Good. That means I didn’t fail. This wasn’t a defeat. Now please kill me, I… won’t suffer life being broken.”
“No you won’t suffer life being broken, but I won’t kill you.” Doom cast a healing spell and the burnt raw wound on Stoneslasher’s back. Soon the flesh started regenerating. “The damage is repairable.”
Once the spell was done Stoneslasher stood. “I was going to kill you, yet you spared me. Even when I begged for death?”
Doom offers the Minotaur a nod “You value honor. That is a rare trait I wish to have at my back.”
The voice of the Chamberlain was heard screaming “KILL HIM STONESLASHER! I HAVE YOUR CONTRACT!”
Cold dark eyes of Stoneslasher look to the Chamberlain. “My contract is to the ruler of Griffonstone. That ruler is now Doctor Doom. Now shut the hell up before I twist your scrawny neck.”
Gilda looks down “Grose he just pissed himself!” Jumping off of the Chamberlain she back stepped not wanting to get urine on herself.
That was when Chamberlain took off flying again only to be struck with Doom’s atomic blast. The heat was intense enough that not even bones remained as the ash fell.
Gilda blinks and looks back to Doctor Doom. “Now what?”
“Now bring the others inside. This time the Idol of Boreas is returned to its proper place.” Doom picked up the Idol and walked to the door.
The strange creature Hans opens the doors of the castle and bows before doom. “Forgive me for not being able to tidy up my ledge.”
Doom stopped and looked at the strange creature. “Hans, you going to take the role of my Butler?”
“Ah, well as I said before. Life's a stage and we all play our parts. I was a janitor in my former life and only fitting I take up a role similar. Till I perfect my role in this life please forgive any errors.”
Gilda wonders what was going through that mind of his. Looking around she hurried to move beside Stoneslasher. Instinct or innate knowledge nudged her to make sure she was seen as one of Doom’s inner circle.
“Very well Hans. I doubt there any other butlers I would trust at this time. Even with your new body, our essence is still intertwined. I die so shall you.”
“Yes sir. I have no desire to see you harmed. It's like destroying one of my works of art.” Gilda wonders at the strange tone of voice as she follows Doom into the building.
The throne room was round with a pedestal in the center. Around the room were panels covered in art.
“Gilda, Hans, Stone. Tell me what is wrong with this room?”
Gilda looked around. “Um… it's the same it always has been. Thought I only have seen it twice.”
A laugh “A throne room normally brings everyone’s eyes to the throne. It is customary to have the throne up high. Those steps to the throne for the Griffons are too high. A few steps perhaps, or even one level up. Your throne is far too high; it is not the center of the view. The pedestal is.”
“That’s where prisoners stand when on trial,” Stoneslasher states as he looks up to the throne. Even though he worked for the Griffons for three years he didn’t give such placement much attention. He wasn’t a fool he wasn’t paid to think.
Hans chuckles as he catches on. “That’s the point. The throne isn’t the focus of the room. The pedestal is, or more precisely what should be on that pedestal.”
Gilda looks over “What do you mean?”
“The secret Gilda. Something I’m even impressed by. The Idol isn’t some treasure of gold and gems.” Doom places the Idol on the pedestal and it lights up. “The Idol is the heart of Griffonstone. IT IS THE GRIFFON STONE!”
The center Redstone started glowing and soon a blast of magic swept over them all. Dead gray wood started changing gaining a warm tan shade as bark long dead was rejuvenated.
Outside the crowd gasped as the magic swept over them. Fresh leaves grew in seconds as the long-dead tree came alive once again. The knots Doom noticed burst with magic as the tree absorbed the long cluttered holes. Waste holes once used to dump the biological waste of the Griffons, jammed shut when the tree died. Now they were working again, absorbing the nutrients of the fertilizer that been sitting there for hundreds of years.
Water fountains long-empty started filling as the tree drew water up into its trunk. The fountains tap into the trunk to provide drinking water.
“Take note, Gilda. The true pride of the Griffons, your history!” Doom motioned as the art covering the walls fall to the ground. The panels of the wall started moving displaying carved glowing figures.
Gilda walked to a panel and touched it. Along the side words formed. “I can’t read it…”
“It's in ancient Griffon girl.” Grandpa Gruff walked in hobbling with his walking stick. Following him were the two fledglings, Gallus and Faina. The old Griffon looks up. “Yup it’s our history alright. Don’t need to read it the text match the pictures.”
She looks at the pictures and saw the different Griffon bloods fighting among each other. Eagles, Owls, Ravens, Hawks, and Falcons were killing and raiding the others. She moves to the next panel and repeated her touching the display. It too came to life.
The display was of some kind of underground den. The chicks were kept inside where they were safe from raiding teams of the other griffons. It seemed there was a well for water, a shoot to get rid of waste, a chimney for a fire, and an entrance. No other means of entrance or exit, a fortress. A death trap.
The next panel showed an eclipse and the ground shaking. One hill splitting in half due to the quake. The hill they now live on. She gasps seeing the dens. The exits were caved in, or the entire den caved in. Trapping those within. “No.. the chicks… a whole generation.”
Tears flowed down her cheeks as she watched the near extinction of her kind. The next panel was something she was familiar with. King Grover leading the survivors to the split hill.
Another figure she didn’t recognize lifted his talons in the air and the great tree grew. The City Tree formed right before her eyes. A new home for the refugee Griffons.
The last panel was King Grover crowned with the Idol of Boreas in his talons. A united species, the Griffons were one people.
Grandpa Gruff snorted. “Then it all ended when the Cyclops took the Idol.”
Doctor Doom walked over placing his armored hand on Gilda’s shoulder. “It is rare that I am impressed. You didn’t lose your pride when the Cyclops took the Idol, you lost your History. Old habits of fighting among yourselves resurfaced however this time you didn’t have the clan or tribe unity among your types.”
“We will rebuild again. I swear, nothing is going to let us forget. The Griffons will rise again!” The determination was bright in her eyes. In her hand, a sphere of magical light appeared. “Not only do we have the Idol back, but we also have our magic back!”
“Yes Guilda, I will show you how to wield that magic. From this day forward you are the Apprentice of Doom!”
Outside the castle, cheers were heard. Thousands of griffons celebrating the City Tree returning to life, the return of the Idol of boras, freedom from the corrupted council. Thousands of voices calling out.
“DOOM, DOOM, DOOM.” Their new king, and liberator.
Oooooooh, now this is very interesting, as you are the first person to think of a history this interesting along with giving the idol and actual purpose; I love it.
Will celstia still have connection to the sun, like being able to draw power, or does her cutie mark mean nothing now
i think you mean 2000 years there
well doom claimed the kingdom as his own now to reshape it in his own image
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She still is connected via the Cutie Mark. The spells controlling the orbits were severed she still can draw from its core and have premonitions. The same with Luna still can dream walk and can sense the moon. They just can't move them anymore.
*drools* very nice chapter such good world building. much wow
10303441
Of course, he will claim it as his own. He is Docter Doom after all! I'm not writing a Hero here even if he doing good things he still the Tyrant Villain of Marvel!
All hail DOOM!
And the next step from Sunbutt just might be sending her purple pupil, and her posse, to "fix things". Or perhaps trying to rally other nations against Doom... We shall see when he wills the "next-button" to existence. Also a nice history bit there.
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I blame the grammar checker. That should be Two Hundred Thousand Years.
Victor Von Doom can't move the Sun...... hold my beer
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LOL, he moved the whole Planetary System! I was going to have him add more planets but couldn't think of where they would have came from.
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I did kind of cheat. The Idol functions much like the Crystal Heart. Heck, even the area they are displayed seems similar replace Griffons with Crystal Ponies and the Tree-like structures with crystals.
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/powerlisting/images/3/37/MLP_The_Crystal_Heart_back_to_its_place_S3E02.png/revision/latest?cb=20190818054300
pm1.narvii.com/6382/3adc952e8253b58f8726cfedfbf3b26f285f4674_00.jpg
I think Doom should have known Celestia would either be too stupid to understand that she is in the wrong or would lie to others about it
He should have revealed this information to ponies too, or even better, to every creature on the planet
I think he should have shown it every creature, as some kind of a vision or a dream or a big screen in the sky, history of Equis and what Celestia's and Luna's moving sun and moon has caused
Literally, what he has seen and what he told Celestia but with "video" proof
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Notice how he records everything. So he has the recording of Celestia attacking him to show others. What he doesn't have is means to broadcast it around the world.
Yes, he could use the Gauntlet, but would that be accepted? Even the Holographic display wouldn't be taken as true, why would a magical implant of knowledge, or vision be taken as truth.
Having Celestia appear in her own capital and her killing a bunch of ponies. The Ponies saw her do it with their own eyes. Who would they trust now? As well as any Diplomats from other nations would be there to get first-hand accounts of the destruction.
Fair's fair.
That was pretty slick how you had the idol being used, and the explanation surrounding how it was the center of the throne room was superb.
As for the griffin 'pride', while a little shaky, especially with how they didn't fall back on as basic and noticeable as physical differences, it is allowed a just passing mark given how much both the loss of their 'heart' and natural disasters like continuous earthquakes as the sun rises each morning for a couple thousand years can effect an entire society and any societies/resources they might have used from the surrounding area.
That said, your biggest concern moving forward is griffin magic. Not that they have it, but that they forgot that they had something as useful as that.
Also, it would be a great shame indeed if you let the different bird halves that make up the griffins go to waste and stay as little more than window dressing. Each species of bird has very specific characteristics which can easily be exaggerated for great narrative effect. For instance, owls in the real world are known for being nearly silent fliers due to the down in their wings, and, in fact, disturb the air very little when they fly as well. This could very well be translated into a great sub-species for assassination, spying, or particularly quiet castle wait-staff.
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Thank you for such a long post. I accept the shaky behavior of the Griffons this I have to blame My Little Pony. I wanted to have what we saw in the show as a foundation. The culture we see is very self-centered and aggressive and I wanted to have similarities to the show, that attitude has to be included. We are dealing with a primary predatory species one made of two animals who are naturally solitary hunters. In my lore, they grouped up more for protection from the other Griffons then true like of their own kind.
I'm going to expand on History in the next act. This includes going to one of the old dens. I'm also going to write a more descriptive history of the Griffons in one of the Intermission chapters it's going to be what is fully written on the panels instead of just the moving art. There will be more explanation of why Griffon magic is rare and why there was no one teaching it.
The reason Griffon magic was forgotten was only one spell caster didn't die during the great quake. Boreas was the last sage of the Griffons. That why the Idol is called the Idol of Boreas in his Honor. He also... Oops almost let out a spoiler.
So yes the next act will include more details in Griffon's life both past and present, as well as Doom's plans for the future. Including specialized training for different sub-species. Notice how I made it a point that Owl Bloods had night vision where the others had poor night vision. The Crows have different magic than the other races, premonitions, as well as some brewing potion-making (similar to Zorcora). I confess I really should have typed RAVEN instead of Crow but by the time I realized this, it was already three chapters too late lol. Eagles and Hawks I'm still thinking of their uniqueness among the sub-species. Falcons are the fastest flyers and best at diving attacks, like the Peregrine Falcon, in this lore Gabby is a Falconblood.
Thinking about it more Eagleblood Griffons should have the best daytime sight where Hawks have the best glide/ range of flight. So falcons are sprinters Hawks are marathon runners er flyers.
Just like ponies they can interbreed but the offspring would be matched to one of the parents. Gilda takes after her Father as an Eagleblooded Griffon. Her mother was a Falcon.
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The owls and their night life did not go unnoticed. It was decent foreshadowing. I was merely concerned that it might have been the last big difference I would see between the sub-species.
As for the 'crows' meant to be 'ravens' business, you really can just go back and edit it. It's one of the benefits of these online fan sites. No one will really hold it against you, especially this early into the endeavor.
10303580
I might just make that change to Raven tonight.
I’m having way to much fun with the Griffons to be happy having sub-spices just as window dressing lol.
Each of the old Dens had their own culture and some of the old traditions did survive.
I see what you did there...
I feel like if your gonna continue this story much longer you gotta destroy the infinity gauntlet or de-power it or something. it was always a silly Mcgaffin it'll make any future conflict very boring.
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There a certain Power hungry Storm King. Who might have a magic stealing staff.
Even without the Gauntlet Doom OPed. He’s going to have an identity crisis in the next act. With his self identity broken he loose the use of the Gems.
This will be needed for when he faces Twilight and the other Mane 6.
Daybreaker?
10303617
Yes and no. Luna pulled her out before she went full Daybraker. She still ended up killing a few ponies in her rage.
I think there is a mistake there.
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Fixed somehow the word Eyes vanished I was sure I wrote it.
I like pride of the Griffins it sounds better. I was wondering what is the laws of this version of the infinity gantlet that it has to follow and is it bond to doom or can it be stolen from him?
10303634
There's a space there that needs to be removed
I think it should be: “Luna knows what a Nightmare is, DOOM!”
Looking forward to the next act!
10303644
Truth is the only reason I had the infinity gauntlet was this chapter. Doom fixing the Sun and Moon was the reason I included them.
Yes they can be stolen. They only work when connected to the gauntlet. So no eye of agamotto or Loki mind controlling staff.
The user has to have a clear mind. This was why they didn’t work at first. Hans and Doom was in the same mind and had conflicting thoughts. Basically Hans blocked Doom from using the Gauntlet on him.
This changed when Hans wanted out of Doom’s head and Doom agreed.
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Thanks for pointing those errors out. I do the edits tonight.
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1.
Storm King will probably die by trying to use them
He is not even close in any field to Doom or Thanos
2.
I hope Doom is smart enough and won't lose the gems but will keep them secure
Get some enchantments that will prevent taking it from him, etc
One of many that could be applied would be one that if somehow the gems and gauntlet are stolen, they would teleport to him or his pocket dimension
Also, no one knows how to use the gauntlet and what infinity gems are
They may think it's just a decoration or something like that
10303736
He does seem to be a bit loopy in the Movie.
It does depend on what he wants to do with the gauntlet. Make himself stronger sure, forget to reinforce his bones... painful death when a sneeze shatters the rib cage.
Or stated another way, you really need to know what you want the gems to do. They aren’t genies granting wishes. They are powerful tools and loose focus or have doubt could result in nothing happening, a power backlash (what happened in chapter one), or horrible miscalculation.
Celestia suspects they are like the Elements of Harmony. She did see him use the gauntlet and how the gems glowed. (Think Thanos battle in the movies the gems glowed when he used them.).
Just like the Elements aren’t used by themselves the Gems aren’t used alone.
That another being that would want the infinity gauntlet. Celestia has a motive and desire to try to steal it. I have to think more about this.
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You don't have to depower him by taking it away
Do it in a more natural way and not just make it so it's stolen or another cliche or even idiot ball trope where he is incompetent in securing it just because the plot demands it to be stolen
Maybe just make it so Doom decides not to use it and be more secure with it, knowing the risks
That would be something smart he would do
I’m loving the story so far, I do however see some things that I would consider problematic. I think there was too much information for one single chapter, In my opinion I think you could have divided in 2 or 3 chapters. it felt rush and a little disconnected to the pase of the story. I did love how he dealt with Celestia tho.
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Doom really doesn’t need them. He is also intelligent enough to notice how they functioned when he used them.
Only reason he might use them again is to open a dimensional portal to what he thinks is his home reality Earth 616. Why won’t he do that now? He interested in the Griffon magic and the enchantments of the Tree.
He won’t admit to being attracted to Gilda.
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In the Comics Doom has a few Doomsday weapons, cosmic power level devices and many assorted world shattering Magical tools.
Even a few Infinity gauntlets from other realities. So there no reason to depower them. Comic Doom would use them when he needs and then store it away. This Doom would do the same.
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Technically speaking Doom only been on the planet for 24 hours give or take. 😄
That said I agree it was a large info dump. First the history of the planet then the history of the Griffons. However I would need more fluff material or both parts would be too short. I’m trying to write chapters in the 4000 word range.
I just couldn’t think of enough filler stuff for another chapter.
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I actually thought that the battle between Celestia and Doom was going to be interrupted by the mob of Griffins pushing for Doom, I thought Celestia would have been put on the spot and force against the wall because she didn’t realize that it wasn’t and invasion but a revolution and that she politically couldn’t do shit. I imagine you would have played with the idea of Celestia being force to act like a ruler instead of like a god, making her doubt her decision due to the political backlash.
I’m not telling you how to write your own story, don’t get me wrong. I’m not a writer and I don’t have half of the talent you do, so just take this as a future idea you could play with.
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It might be I didn’t write that part well enough. She was political against the wall.
Doom showing her the holograms and bringing up the Dreamweed put her in a disadvantage.
Doom even told her she couldn’t harm him without risking the Griffons lives behind him.
Only after he summoned Hans, who she believes to be a nightmare spawn. Did she attack using low risk attacks. Once he took the Sun from her did she used a magical attack.
Perhaps I try to redo that part.
I found I have a hard time writing Celestia.
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I did play with the idea of Celestia and Doom coming to blows and Faina getting in between.
This wouldn’t have gone the way I wanted. Doom needs no one to be his shield. He would have got angry at any one even thinking he needed help. His Ego would not accept it.
If Doom was going to fight he would have left the area first. That defeats the purpose of him standing defiant before her. He was showing no fear. He would insult Celestia to the breaking point just to see if he could. More so if he had an audience. That what my goal was in that scene. Only after she attack Hans did he got angry.
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That's what I mean
He should store it in, for example, a pocket dimension so it won't be stolen
With of course anti-theft measures for the gauntlet and gems themselves I wrote before
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He will do something with it.
Not sure about a pocket dimension. But he won’t have it on all the time.
How can the storm king steal the power of the infinity gauntlet if it's cosmic power and not magic power?
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Would he know the difference? It not that he could it that he would try.
That or just take the gauntlet.
All the Storm King would know is there someone more powerful then Celestia and Luna.
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If he tried to use it, wouldn't it nearly kill him like it did to Thanos inifinity war and end game or just kill him after one use like it did to Tony?
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Different Gauntlets have different rules. The MCU has that flaw, where the Comics anyone could use it. There are other universes where the rules change as the writers come up with reasons the Gauntlet couldn't just do anything. One common rule is the Infinity Gems/stones can't work outside the Universe they were made in.
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Then how is this one working?
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I answered that in an earlier post. I will post it here as well.
You really need to know what you want the gems to do. They aren’t genies granting wishes. They are powerful tools and loose focus or have doubt could result in nothing happening, a power backlash (what happened in chapter one), or horrible miscalculation resulting in maiming or death. For example, getting super strength from the stones but forget to reinforce the bones. A sneeze could shatter your rib cage.
The Mind stone could give you the information needed. If you remember to ask for the information. Think about it like Google, you only get the info if you search for it with the right request.
Time stone does limited time travel (slow time down to where seconds could be years). Time viewing seeing the past or future.
I might fine-tune the limits and powers in an intermission chapter.
The gems on the gauntlet glow when in use. (Think Thanos battle in the movies the gems glowed when he used them.).
Just like the Elements aren’t used by themselves the Gems aren’t used alone. So no Eye of Agamotto or Loki's staff of mind control. They only work as a group on the Infinity Gauntlet.
I have changed any reference of Crow to Raven. This is just more lore fun, Raven's were the pets of ODIN. Huginn and Muninn were their names, or in modern meaning Memory and Thought.
I originally wrote Crow as a joke on the term Crone, but as I wrote and finalized the lore in my brain I realized it was a mistake. I wanted to limit the sub-species of Griffons to five groups.