It's A Lonely Cause

by FamousLastWords

Your World

Flitter felt high on life.

“I feel like crap…”

That is if life’s highest point was approximately three inches above the ocean floor.

Luckily for her, she wasn’t near the ocean floor. In fact, she was walking on a dirt trail leading towards a park that she was planning on moping in. All she needed to do was find a tree to lay under and just have a good old fashioned cry.

Flitter shook her head. She could feel the tears coming in, but she didn’t want to cry just yet. She didn’t want anypony to see her, ask her questions about her day that was already miserable enough as it was. She just wanted to mope, cry, and mope again, in that order.

Her mind leaped ahead of her, thinking back to Cloudchaser. How she managed to not only read her like a book, but to also take all those plans that Flitter deemed as flawless, and just stab them full of holes. How her sister managed to do this was beyond her. It was like she already had the copy of her plans before she even thought of them and decided, ‘You know what, I’m going to copy them and make them mine just so Flitter can’t have any reason to enjoy life!’

Just the thought that Cloudchaser could be that far ahead of her in every single facet of her life made failure a sweet, loving friend that she wished she could toss on the side of the road. If only she could be like her sister—scratch that, Flitter didn’t want to actually be like her, she just wanted to do something that Cloudchaser couldn’t do. Instead, Cloudchaser could do anything. That sister of hers won over the only love that she would most likely ever have in her life. Her sister was able to train with the Wonderbolts, something that Flitter has been wanting to do since she was a foal. And the fact that she passed flying training way before Flitter did was just the worst thing, since even the basics of flying troubled her even now.

Flitter gritted her teeth, staring at the brown, dry grains below. Her hoof sifted them as she scooted it along, but that’s all it did. They just moved as she did, and nothing more. It wasn’t exciting. It wasn’t something that she could write home about.

Yet, she wasn’t failing at it, either. She hadn’t crashed yet. She hadn’t made a fool of herself… yet. And she was just fine, if anypony considered fine as ‘about to burst into tears because her life was nearly over’. That was… only partially acceptable, as she still felt she needed to spite her sister. Even if it failed spectacularly, at least she could put it to her one last time, before she hid herself from the entirety of Ponyville and—

Flitter groaned. “Ugh… stupid, stupid, stupid!” Her hooves pitter pattered against the dry dirt path she angrily danced on. “How did I not connect the dots? I mean, it’s easy, especially in connect four, but I just can’t see the playfield!” She almost bopped herself on the back of the head, but she pulled her hoof back. She looked around, just to make sure nopony was looking at her. Thankfully, there was no one in sight. She sighed and progressed on.

As she walked, her mind drifted back to that imaginary partner of hers. Who was left to pick up? Big Mac? No, he’s married to Sugar Belle. Discord? He sounded freaky and way too unapproachable, even if he was totally into Fluttershy. Flitter could even tell that he had the hots for Fluttershy. Still, that’s all she knew. Yeah, there were a few nice stallions around, but Flitter just assumed they were taken too, knowing her luck.

With a slight growl, Flitter professed her anger to the world, “If only there was a reasonably nice-looking guy left to ask out—oof!”

Flitter fell on her flanks. What did she just run into? A minotaur? She tried to see what was in front of her, but all she saw was a flurry of blurry colors: purple, green, and a shade of black. None of those colors made sense together!

“Flitter? Is that you?”

Flitter felt her eyes snap back to reality. She knew that voice. The only pony in the entire town had that voice. Well, not a pony exactly...

She remained on the ground and looked up at the dragon, her wings standing at attention. “Spike! What are you doing here?”

The dragon in question reached a claw out to her. “Oh, you know… living life, being a dragon, acting cool. All the usual stuff.”

Flitter took his claw and got back up on her hooves. She took a brief moment to dust herself off before once again addressing him. “I see. Well, I’m sorry I ran into you. I had my head up in the clouds.”

Spike shrugged and looked at the indentation in the dirt where she was laying a mere moment ago. “Are you sure? You seemed pretty close to the ground to me.”

Flitter deadpanned. “Hardy-har-har, so funny I forgot to laugh.” She rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. “Anyway, I actually meant what are you doing here in Ponyville? Aren’t you usually at the castle with Twilight this time of day? Helping with nobles and documents and whatever?”

Spike rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, about that. You see, I kinda cut out of work early today. It was a slow Friday, so I figured I’d leave early and hang out at my place here in Ponyville for the weekend. I mean, Twilight doesn’t know I cut out early, but eh, she’ll adapt and improvise.”

“Oh yeah,” Flitter stated. “I forgot you got a place here in town. I’m amazed you don’t just want to live in the castle twenty-four seven.” She took a brief moment to imagine herself in his fur, er, scales, living it up at the palace day in and day out. Servants and soldiers waiting on her all day, all the space and free entertainment she could ever want, and most importantly, no annoying older sisters to crank her life’s difficulty setting all the way up to survival mode.

“Eh,” Spike replied, “it’s okay. But I prefer to view it just as a place of work. Everything is too clean and pristine there. I show up to breakfast in the morning with one scale out of place and I get looked at like I'm a pariah from whatever esteemed guests Twilight has over for the day. At least here in Ponyville I can hang with my friends and be myself.”

Flitter nodded. “Fair enough I guess, but whatever, it’s beside the point. I take it you’re just heading home for the day then?”

“Yep!” Spike replied. “And I plan on eating this apple on the way there!” The dragon produced a crispy, bright red apple from a small satchel he had carried on his back. “I haven’t had one of these bad boys in a long time.”

It did not take long for Flitter’s keen eyes to decipher what he was holding. “Is that a jazz apple?”

“You know it,” he replied. “They’re the best! Way better than those nasty, red-disgusting ones.”

Flitter felt a tiny pulse in her chest at hearing his words. Another creature that appreciates an apple as much as she does, much less one that shares the same taste? The gears began twisting and turning in her mind. This could be it.

Spike wasn’t the ideal candidate to be her partner, especially after he ruined her last concert experience, but he could fit the bill. He’d gotten taller, standing at least a foot taller than herself. He had a decently muscular build, strong wings and a nice-enough face. Not to mention he was royalty. That had to count for something, right? She didn’t need the situation to be perfect, after all. Just good enough to make her sister angry. That’s all she wanted.

Now she just needed to actually ask him.

“So, Spike, I have a question for you.” She batted her eyelashes at him just enough to grab his attention. “I don’t suppose you’ve heard about the Hearts and Hooves day scavenger hunt have you?”

Spike rubbed his chin for a moment. “Oh! You mean this thing?” He reached back into his stachel and took out a copy of the same flier she received earlier. “It seems pretty cool. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I was just wondering if you had planned on entering. It definitely looks like it’ll be a lot of fun.” Flitter gave him a sly smile. “Like, a lot of fun. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Spike cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah, I guess. But I don’t think I’ll be participating, no.”

“Oh?” she replied, taking a step closer to him. “Why ever would that be?”

Spike glanced over the flier once more. “Well, you see in big letters near the top where it says it’s for couples? Yeah, that’s my problem. I haven’t had the time to find a special somepony. Between the nobles asking me when I’m getting married, and Twilight’s mental breakdowns about the myriad taxation increases she tries to pass, I don’t get to go out and see the world with somepony else.”

Flitter squeed on the inside. This was perfect! He was single! He was just as much of a loser as she was!

“Really? That’s great—I mean, oh, that’s too bad. And here I thought every mare in the kingdom would be coming after you! I’m amazed you’re not beating them off with a stick!”

Spike chuckled. “Well, one beat me with a stick once after I asked her out. That was a bit of a messy situation. But nah, only the older ones who are born into the nobility eyeball me. And they only do that because they think it’s weird that a dragon is royalty. I’m like the complete opposite of royalty. I’m like… un-royalty or something.”

“How could they think that, though? Didn’t you save Equestria so many times that it would just be… I don’t know, weird to think otherwise?”

Spike’s gaze darted away from Flitter, while his claw scratched at the back of his neck. “You’d think, but no, they’re just stuck in their own little worlds. You know how it is.” Spike noticed Flitter’s head tilted a little too far off-kelter. He smiled and continued, “Guess you don’t. You probably shouldn’t, because man, these nobles nag like crazy. Everypony has to have their way or the highway and nopony can agree on anything, at least not without a few glasses of wine in their system.” The dragon shuddered. “Never thought I was going to be talking to ponies that would badger me about every little thing like they do for a career. If Celestia saw me do what I did to that one pony one time… oh, man, she would’ve banished me to the sun. It’s like being banished to the moon but you actually die instead!”

Flitter couldn’t help but laugh at that. It felt like something she could compare to when she was younger, well, expect the burning to death part. Her sister would nag on her all the time about not playing with her food so much while at the dinner table, probably because their mother didn’t really teach them table manners at all. That didn’t matter though. It just showed Flitter that, well, Spike was a bit like her. They liked the same apples, they both have very taxing lives (his oh-so-more-literally), and well, they both didn’t have a partner to go to the event which was a clear sign they both sucked with the opposite sex.

“So… uh…”

Spike tilted his head. “What’s up, Flitter? Did I say something wrong?”

Flitter caught herself staring at him and shook it off. She gave him a slight smile. “No, not at all! I… just...”

Filly, if you don’t do it now, you’re gonna die as a turbo virgin. One with only a sad supply of apples, jazz or otherwise, to keep her company. And your sister will be there… mocking you for all eternity.

That last thought put the fear of Celestia sending her to the sun into her. Flitter steeled herself forward, her ears high and her wings shaking in anticipation. “Spike, will you be my partner for the Hearts and Hooves Day Scavenger Hunt?”

There, she said it. She was able to finally ask somepony who wasn’t going to be Poptart out to the event. Now she just had to open her eyes and take a good look at how Spike was reacting to her invitation and—

Spike simply took a bite of his apple. “Really?” he asked between munches. “You want me to go with you? No offense, but did you get a concussion when you ran into me? Mares like you don’t generally ask out guys like me.”

Flitter blinked a few times. That wasn’t what she was expecting at all. She thought she was going to get turned down immediately, but instead, he was asking if she had a concussion from when she ran into him and—wait he thought she was braindead?

“No, I didn’t get a concussion you dork,” she began. She rolled her eyes. “But I did ask you about the whole thing and… I thought about how different you looked and everything since I last saw you...”

Flitter felt a bit of heat burning her cheeks when Spike let out a laugh. “Yeah, it has been a while since we really even saw each other.” He tapped his chin with a claw and gasped. “Actually, is this one of the first times we talked? Outside of random group conversation I mean.”

“What do you—” Flitter suddenly gasped. “That’s so weird! I’ve heard so much about you that we really haven’t… talked one-on-one.” She took a pause in the oddity of it all. Even though she knew a bit about him, she hadn’t really gotten to know him. It’s like meeting a pony for the first time, except you suddenly ask them out on a date because there’s no time like the present.

Flitter felt that heat intensify in her face. She really needed to calm down. This was getting way out of hoof for her. She looked up to him and said, “Well, I know this is so sudden, but do you want to be my partner, Spike?”

Spike shrugged. “I don’t know, I mean, I am a pretty busy guy. Got a lot on my plate, y’know, like reading about a whole lot of nothing and listening to that new single that got dropped recently from A Neigh To Remember. I like the softer vibes it has going f—”

“Not you too!” Flitter said suddenly. He’s also a work in progress, from what it looked like. “Ugh, well, do you want to do it or not? The scavenger hunt I mean.”

Spike smirked. “I think I can do that. Under one condition though.”

Flitter’s eyes widened. “What would that be?”

“I wanna know why you’re actually asking me out for this,” he replied. “I’ve been around enough ponies trying to kiss up to Twilight to get their way to know when the same thing is happening to me. I mean, we just randomly run into each other and you ask me out. Spill the beans, the whole beans and nothing but the beans.”

Flitter rose a hoof to protest his point. “Psh, oh please. Can’t you just accept that I think you’re a nice looking drake that I wouldn’t mind spending some time with?”

“Nope.”

Flitter’s mind raced as she tried to think of another excuse to get him locked down but nothing came to mind. Why was she lying anyway? It’s not like he would care about her and her sister’s petty arguments.

“Okay, look,” she started. “I didn’t actually plan on asking you. I wanted to ask another stallion that I liked but my sister stole him from me before I even had a chance to ask him. I’m pretty sure she did it on purpose.”

The dragon folded his arms and drummed his claws. “I see. Go on.”

“Well,” she continued, “I can’t just let her get away with this so I told her I was asking somepony else who was way better and that… we’d kick their butts in the competition. That’s kind of why I asked you so suddenly.”

Spike remained silent for a brief moment. “So, let me get this straight. You’re essentially wanting me to pretend to be your boyfriend for tomorrow just to show up your sister, and beat her and the guy you like in a scavenger hunt that you don’t even really care about?”

Flitter reeled back ever so slightly. “Pretty much.”

“Okay, I’m down.”

“Huh?” Flitter looked up at him. “You are?”

“Yeah, I haven’t had any real drama go down in awhile. This shipwreck of an idea may be fun to see up close.” The dragon emitted a small chuckle. “Besides, I’m always up for a good underdog story. Us being the underdogs in this scenario, of course.”

So, he’s a drama magnet and willing to help a pony with a severe sister rivalry? That’s… way too convenient even for her. Not that she was complaining.

“But!” Spike cut into her thoughts. “There will be one condition.”

There it was. She knew it was coming, but she didn’t want to say anything until it happened.

“And what condition would that be?” Flitter asked.

“Look, every few months I have to attend some stupid dinner with all these nobles and business ‘gurus’ and they always give me a hard time about being single. ‘When are you going to get married Spike?’ ‘You should meet my granddaughter; you two would get along so well!’ All that jazz.”

“Uh-huh?”

“Well, I have another one in a couple weeks and if I do this for you, I need you to pretend to be my date for the night for me. Having them off my back just once is more than enough to improve my quality of life.”

Flitter cocked her head to the side. “So you want me to pretend to be your date just to get some well-meaning ponies off of your back. That’s not exactly noble of you, I gotta say.”

Spike shrugged. “Look who’s talking. Besides, noble was last year. This year is about survival.” Spike held out a claw to her. “So are we agreed?”

Flitter looked into herself for this one. She had no other options, well, except that one stallion who’s into writing his own music, but she knew for sure that, with those rumors she heard from the mares at the market, he was completely enamoured with some random mare that came into town recently. So, she really didn’t have any other options. She only had Spike, who, honestly, wasn’t that bad of a choice. Flitter couldn’t have run into anypony any better than someone who wasn’t even a pony to begin with.

And that, to her, was acceptable.

She stuck her hoof out and gave his claw a small shake. “Agreed.”

“Then it’s a date,” Spike replied.

Flitter shook her head, her bow bouncing back and forth as she did. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve completely lost my dignity, haven’t I?”

“Eh,” the dragon replied. “You should check in your sofa cushions. I find all kinds of lost stuff in there. Last week, I found five bits!”

...and he’s got dad jokes. This was going to be quite the interesting date. But it didn’t matter. She was going to beat her sister and that was all that mattered. Revenge would be hers and it would be as early as tomorrow.

She couldn’t wait!

Comments

[DarkDMan]

Been a while, but FLW. is doing it again! Poptart and Spike, Spike and Poptart! This time, they got Twin Mares!
Get the popcorn, this is going to be goooood!

[Scyphi]

“Yeah, I haven’t had any real drama go down in awhile. This shipwreck of an idea may be fun to see up close.”

Pffft--admittedly, that's pretty much my whole reason for reading this fic in the first place, so Spike and I are of like mind on this.

[Ice Star]

“I wanna know why you’re actually asking me out for this,” he replied. “I’ve been around enough ponies trying to kiss up to Twilight to get their way to know when the same thing is happening to me. I mean, we just randomly run into each other and you ask me out. Spill the beans, the whole beans and nothing but the beans.”

I think Majin would agree with me that this ought to be 'beanis' instead of what you've got here.

Also, I hadn't expected Spike's conflict to be given so earlier. He certainly comes across as a very mature and grown-up individual here. His communication ability is a huge leap in characterization and he feels like a fun and believable romantic partner.