- Member Since 7th Jun, 2017
- offline last seen 45 minutes ago
Dr Sharaz Jek
Cynically Pretentious Hedonistic Nihilist...and those are my nicer qualities!
Dr Sharaz Jek
Joined 7th Jun, 2017 ·
Offline
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Interesting~
10213452
Thanks! Wish I'd had time to flesh it out more!
You know about super magnets?
10213567
Admittedly not familiar.
10213590
What if a spell hits someone's manhood to not only plunge into any lady's flower like a couple of magnets but humping and coming continuously to submission?
10213729
Sounds kinky!
10213736
With no loss of energy and no blackouts via refueling.
10213740
Lucky guy!
10213452
Same, but it felt like I'm reading the middle of a story, then suddenly the end. That took me out of the story quite a bit.
10214724
Sorry about that, definitely the most rushed of my entries into the contest! Didn't even plan to write a Celestia fic, but sudden inspiration hit me and so I said what the hay?
As a fan of Fluttershy and by association flutterbat I must know where this picture came from.
10217242
Artist is Danmakuman
10228697
Thanks, but since this is part of a contest I can't currently edit it.
an ancient immortal and a vampire is this warning actually required or are you just playing safe?
10230839
Playing safe, a mod once jumped on my case for not putting a warning on what should be obvious.
10231121
I see
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
You can also check the current ranking, thanks to garatheauthor's unofficial ranking of the scores that have been publicized so far.
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Interesting idea to have a vampire go after milk rather than blood.
-
until its upon her-- it's.-Tense slipping.
-
the fatty orb-- sometimes your wording can be a turn-off.-Not really buying Celestia's very fast transition to calling Flutterbat 'master'. Or ... have they been doing this a lot already? It's not really clear.
-Very rushed and not much emotion.
-Flutterbat x Celestia is a very unique pairing, even among entrants for this contest's bonus round.
------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 50/100
Allure: 65/100
Enticement: 30/100
Immersion: 40/100
Prose Quality: 70/100
Total Score: 255/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!
"...musk of your sexhole" ? Ewww. Interesting idea, but not very sexy in the end. It's a bit rushed, and there's no real seduction involved. it just doesn't work for me.
10429006
Understandable.
nice work.
10473381
Thanks!