• Member Since 8th Jun, 2016
  • offline last seen Jan 12th, 2021

ColdCash


Hack writer/artist.

Comments ( 5 )

Luna isn't happy with the machine from another dimension so she modifies it for ponies and adds a few touches of her own.

Shouldn't you say what this machine is?

This was quite entertaining :) Lots of possibilities for a sequel, I hope you keep going with it.

This is awesome! Moar, plz?

Also, I’d love to play this game for real, even if it can’t be as…immersive as his version.

Wonderful! I hope this is just the start.

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Innovative and interesting, though it perhaps doesn’t get as deep and detailed as it could.
-The right trigger controls both the tail and kicking?
-A bit too much on the technical details of how the game works, at the expense of the details about how the mares feel or what things look like on the screen.
-It’s nice to see so much casual, transactional sex.
-Fun to see them figure things out as they go along.
-Reflexively, Twilight wiped at her muzzle but there was nothing there. -- missing comma.
-It might be better if it fleshed out into more detail (and a longer story), with each encounter in a new chapter.
-The exchange rate for gold bits is funny.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 75/100
Allure: 64/100
Enticement: 95/100
Immersion: 70/100
Prose Quality: 89/100
Total Score: 393/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

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