• Member Since 25th Oct, 2016
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Huk


Just your average, useless person who thinks that this whole 'life' thing is overrated.

T
Source

The adolescent princess Flurry Heart is looking for a job. The good news is that the School of Friendship is looking for an assistant to help Trixie. The bad news is, all candidates need to take a lie detector test, with Trixie as the recruiter...


Meta:

Cover based on the image from: https://derpibooru.org/images/2154745
Proofread by Ginger and Grammarly :duck:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 39 )

Flurry paused for a moment, thinking. Then said the first thing on her mind, grinning proudly. “I can transform my horn into a thirty-centimeter-long vibrating dildo.”

Cadance had warned Trixie that just like any teen, her adolescent daughter thinks with her nethers instead of her head, so the lewd answer wasn’t really a surprise. But the lack of buzzer sound, was. Trixie glanced at the lie detector, expecting the familiar beep, but even after a while of waiting, the machine was silent as a tomb.

“Hmm, odd, it should have gone off.”

“… why?”

Trixie let out a chuckle. “Because there is no way you—”

“Hey, I’m the daughter of Princess of Love! I can really transform my horn into a thirty-centimeter-long vibrating dildo,” Flurry protested, with a serious expression. “Maybe even forty-centimeter-long!”

*BEEP!*

“OK, maybe not forty, but thirty? No problem at all.”

Okay, I'm just gonna go bang my head against the wall for a while.

Imma be real honest with you chief. I have no fucking clue what I just read. But I like it? It's funny, in a crass and kinda nasty way, but it got a few chuckles out of me.

I’m reminded of the time Moe was hooked up to one in the Simpsons.

Huk

10207982

Don't do that! Think of the poor wall! :fluttershyouch:

Jokes aside, trust me, other ideas I had for Flurry's 'special abilities' were even... nastier :trollestia:

10208002

I advise you to go watch the short video that I linked in the author's notes. It was the inspiration for the story, and it's 1000 times funnier :raritywink:

10208373

... I'm afraid I don't get the reference :rainbowderp: ?

10208495
In the “Who shot Mr. Burns?” two parter they had a scene where Moe was hooked up to a polygraph machine. It was one of the funnier scenes as after Moe is cleared for not shooting him it keeps calling him out for around 20 seconds.

“I have a hot date tonight”
ERRRR
“A date”
ERRRR
“Dinner with a friend”
ERRRR
“Dinner alone”
ERRRR
“I’m going to watch TV”
ERRRR
“Alright! I’m going to ogle the girls in a Victoria’s Secret catalog”
ERRRR
“....Sears catalog”
DING
“Now can you unhook me? I don’t deserve this kind of treatment!”
ERRRR

Ri2

Why didn't it buzz when Trixie said the interview was going well?

This made my morning. :rainbowlaugh:

Huk

10208720

Just looked it up, and now I know what you meant! That scene was golden :rainbowlaugh: (I wouldn't be surprised if it were the inspiration for that YT lie detector movie).

Thanks for the reference :twilightsmile:

10208739

She switched it off for a moment, just to make that statement:

Trixie switched off the device for a moment. “Au contraire! This interview is going very well!”

:raritywink:

10208777

I'm glad to hear it, we need more comedy (even low-brow comedy :trollestia:) during these depressing times :unsuresweetie:

Who took Flurry's cherry?

Huk

10209663

Unknown. But she's around 18 so... My suspicion would be on someone close her age, who rhymes with 'pike' :moustache:

10213035
Spike?
This fanfic story I've have to hear!

“I can transform my horn into a thirty-centimeter-long vibrating dildo.”

:rainbowderp:

Huk

10217303

Oh, that's nothing! If you would know what Cadance can do with her magic... But some things are better left untold :trollestia:

“Hey, I’m the daughter of Princess of Love! I can really transform my horn into a thirty-centimeter-long vibrating dildo,” Flurry protested, with a serious expression. “Maybe even forty-centimeter-long!”

You know, I still haven't found a story on this site about horn sex. I imagine that's something Trixie and Starlight would enjoy very much. :trixieshiftright:

*Reads story. Stares at the wall really hard for about ten seconds and then shakes his head*

Nope, can't unsee it.

Comment posted by coto616 deleted Sep 14th, 2020

I was put in mind of this sketch.

10434882
I don’t like linking copyrighted material because at some point it is most likely going to be taken down by one bot or another.

I got some good chuckles out of this. Good work!

Sunburst nodded, not really surprised. His smile turned as artificial as the potted plant on Trixie’s desk. “Well, I’m glad you’re finally getting some help. You’re such a… hard worker. ”

weakness sarcasm

WHQSYT THER FIK ?

and then cadence walks in a few weeks later and goes flurry did you sleep with your boss for the job

nope

BEEP

your grounded

10434902
I edited to just have the link ... if that's not good enough, I'll just delete the post.

10436673
Actually I meant I tend to assume that YouTube videos with copyright material are likely to be taken down at some point. It’s not a criticism of people who do it, I just don’t want to have to worry about a post I put up having a dead link.

Oh Flurry. Your mother would be so proudissapointed in you.

Your aunt would be plain disappointed. :rainbowlaugh:

10437346
I think you mean disapprouded. And I concur.

Huk

Whoa, what the heck? I see one story pushed the other almost to the feature box :rainbowderp: That never happened before - interesting...

10433780

Forever tainted by the visions, huh? Good :pinkiecrazy:

10434676

That was golden! Thank you, I've never seen it before :twilightsmile:

10434882

Yeah, that one is great too :rainbowdetermined2:.

10434942

Glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

10436021

Ah, another tainted mind, I presume :trollestia:

10436048

"But... I'm 24, mom!"

"Oh... you're grounded anyway!" Cadance frowned. "And I'm cutting off the internet porn!"

"Noooo:raritycry:!"

10437346

Unless it's Flurry from Wuten's universe:

In her case, that would be pretty normal :unsuresweetie:

10437753
see that would be hilarious)

Wait mom how did you know to ask that question did trixie tell you

no

beep

did she try to seduce you and dad and say it

no

beep

10437753
22- 21- -- 37 --36 -- 26 * 36-- 26 - 37 --34 * 35 - 28-- 45 --49 --39

10437678
*takes notes*

This is the funniest I have read in a long time. Well done :rainbowlaugh:

Not bad.
Ver horny tho.

Huk

10438378

Glad to hear it :twilightsmile:

10439968

... I see what you did there :rainbowdetermined2:

This story was awful. I don’t want you to write ever again!

*BEEP!*

10528054
We definitely weren't thinking of Flurry Heart's Vibrator Spell throughout most of this story.

*Beep*

Experience is Experience even if it’s lewd

God I hate this.

*BEEP*

FUCK OFF!

Login or register to comment