- Member Since 7th Jun, 2017
- offline last seen 6 hours ago
Dr Sharaz Jek
Cynically Pretentious Hedonistic Nihilist...and those are my nicer qualities!
Dr Sharaz Jek
Joined 7th Jun, 2017 ·
Offline
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Bruh.
10204343
Hmm?
Smh
smh
Great story......kinda obvious how it'd end...but still great 👍
I like the cover art. Is it original?
10204344
What a way to go.
i.imgflip.com/3kx9ls.png
10204807
Thank you, simultaneously dark and lighthearted!
10204904
Think I sourced it; try clicking on the lower right of the image.
10204938
I'm almost envious!
10205297
Heh, yeah it was rather fast!
10205305
Yeah.
so...…………… endless babies for derpy???
10205489
Endless orgasms for both of them, at least!
10205584
so derpy will be super pregnant by the end of it???
10205616
Basically she's reset to the beginning each time, trapped in the moment of climax, so no foals!
10205665
……………………………. OH COME ON!!!!!!!!
10205668
Lol, poor Derpy!
10205754
how is she gonna be a mom now!!!!
10205768
She'll have to dream of it forever, good thing she and Turner will be unaware!
10205897
at lest tell me its set to stop on its own.
10205905
Nope, hence the tragedy tag! Turner manually set it the first time, which is why he was aware/it stopped, but this activation was a complete accident!
10205909
great. now they are stuck until some one stops it.
10205915
Their best hopes are Discord or Pinkie Pie. (Since she can break the fourth wall!)
10205918
then somepony get pinkie there fast. I have no idea how much mind numbing orgasms they can handle.
10205924
They're all stuck in the loop too, so it all depends on if Pinkie or Discord become aware of what's happening...
10206224
well hopefully soon.
10204904
I like it to.
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
You can also check the current ranking, thanks to garatheauthor's unofficial ranking of the scores that have been publicized so far.
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Excellent teasing with the sexy Derpy in the beginning.
-The ending was kind of abruptly over. It could have shown the time loop happening at least once, rather than just telling it. Heck, you could have even justified copy/pasting the same exact text in there two or three times.
-Not a very believable transition between teasing and fucking.
-The rules of the time loop are unclear -- last time, Time Turner wasn't affected by it, right?
-Interesting gimmick with the ending ... and I'm still not sure whether it's a happy ending or a horror story.
------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 75/100
Allure: 70/100
Enticement: 60/100
Immersion: 78/100
Prose Quality: 90/100
Total Score: 373/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!
10254919
My idea is that Turner manually activated it the first time, while the hourglass was jostled and activated itself when it fell, although I'm not sure if most readers got that.
Good way to go i suppose
10277681
Certainly how I'd want to!