• Member Since 12th Apr, 2020
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

LSTS Connor


A Closet Brony (except online *wink*) Also join the Realm of the Sun here: https://discord.gg/j7CUtJJrtn

T
Source

For info on Hiatus read this
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The Frozen North, a barren, inhospitable land covered in Ice and Snow. A place where only the most adaptable and toughest creatures can live and thrive. And still mostly unexplored by ponykind. Their only bastion against the harsh cold being the Crystal city and the Crystal Heart contained within.

The Ponies who rule over this City call themselves royalty of their ‘Crystal Empire‘ 
An avid title when they rule over the only sentient beings this far North. But what they fail to realize is that their title is about to be revoked.

For there can only be one true Queen of the North.

One Queen of the Ice and Snow.

But what is a Queen without a King?

And now two strangers must work together to survive in these frozen mountains of the North. Their previous life was filled with nothing but pain and hardship. But will this one be any different? Only time will tell. For now, however, they must come to terms with their new bodies and how they will survive in this wasteland of Snow and Ice.


Tags will be added as the story progresses.

The Old Chapters are still here and if you want to read them use this Dropbox to view the original chapters
Big thanks to Darthball for helping out with the Chapters :heart:

Come join my Discord! Where memes are aplenty!

Huge thanks to Darkspyro951 for prereading and the new cover art. You're the best man :twilightsmile: send him some love :heart:

(Big thanks to AdrianBrony for telling me the source of my Cover art :twilightblush:)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 65 )

If you want to know who is the artist, their name is Fedte. You can find it on https://derpibooru.org/images/312810?q=crystal+empire%2C+landscape

Edit: After further search, it's actually from Itsay on their DeviantArt page https://www.deviantart.com/itsay/art/The-Crystal-Empire-354681015

10214391
Thanks :D
I'll update the image source now

10214395
No problem! I just don't want writers to get some backlash just because they don't properly credit their cover art.

Comment posted by Indigo Lightning deleted May 3rd, 2020

Good story so far. Look forward to seeing what happens next.

Lovely chapter! We can't wait to read more.

Interesting, let's see how it goes :)

I like where this is going.

We're off to an awesome start now the only thing we need to know now is if the ponies are going to be racist or not

“I just really hope we are hallucinating due to the cold…If not *sigh* its time to talk to some statues.” She started walking towards the gate. Karl stood there for several more seconds before muttering under his breath. “How could this get any weirder”

Oh in so many ways :trollestia:

“You ever wonder why we’re here?”

It's one of life's great many mysteries :moustache:

“No” He replied quickly. “A-Anyway” he says nervously changing the subject. “We’re here because somepony needs to make sure nothing dangerous gets in the city. The Prince didn’t put the guard on yellow alert for no reason after all.” Blitz said answering his partner's original question.

I doubt the things that considered dangerous in these lands would have any trouble going through the two of you :trixieshiftleft:

A Voice was heard behind Blitz. Blitz having just watched his partner collapse due to pure fear slowly turned around terrified by what horrible monster must be behind him.

Yes, because only a horrible monster would go "Eeep" at someone fainting :moustache:

Unnoticed to the pair a figure with green eyes had spotted them, before quickly hiding. “I must report this”

Chryssie is gonna be very angry when she finds out that there is another Queen on her turf :trixieshiftleft:

Ponies started screaming and running in every direction trying to get away from the changelings.

You know, in hindsight, unless the changelings have attacked the Crystal Empire in the past, you'd think the crystal ponies would have less of a reaction towards changelings :applejackunsure:

“Well…that went well”

And it's about to get better :pinkiecrazy:

10222991
:duck:
Looks like you enjoyed it :D
Also to your last point I’m pretty sure news of the changeling attack on canterlot would be known by everybody also take for example thorax he wasn’t welcomed in open arms by the crystal ponies

Otherwise hope you enjoy the next chapter as much as I will enjoy writing it :twilightsmile:

10223235
I look forward to finding out :trollestia:

Why did u leave it at a cliffhanger why😭😭

10225481
why indeed :trollestia:

don't worry tho I'm making the next chapter a long one.

The pair stood there dumbfounded by the reaction they had gotten. ‘Are we really that scary? Or are the ponies that racist?’ Thought Karl bitterly looking at his reflection in a nearby broken glass storefront.

Half a dozen of one, six of the other :trixieshiftleft:

The guards were currently 75 meters away from the changeling pair, with a magic shield protecting the ponies. Ready to move in to capture or kill if needed.

How is putting a crossbow bolt in someone's chest supposed to be meant as nonlethal Shining:facehoof:

“Good. I want you to have them surround the remaining changeling and hit it on all sides. He cant deflect them all that way” The captain hesitated for a second but nodded

And Shining's personal feelings shine through, if he had been calm (or really if he was dealing with anything other than changelings) I suspect he would ordered his guards to surround and capture them instead of this excessive use of nearly lethal force :trixieshiftleft:

But even with all those wounds, he was still standing…’ still protecting the other one’ thought Cadence after having just witnessed the entire attack. Now starting to feel a little guilty.

Don't feel a little guilty, feel very guilty :trixieshiftleft:

"why..." She said before the world turned black and she fell unconscious.

Because the sad fact is that despite claiming that they strive towards friendship and harmony, the average pony is xenophobic, quick to judge and hypocritical, since their beliefs rarely extend beyond ponies :ajsleepy:

I cannot wait till the next chapters out it's going to be very interesting 😬😂😂

10225510
I literally couldn’t have put your last point better myself. Really does give you something to think about. They preach harmony but are scared of anything remotely different. Quite sad really

(That is also what im trying to go for in my storytelling the whole never judge a book by its cover, or in this case a changeling by its chitin)

Otherwise hope you enjoyed it :D
I know I did ;)

Little tip, things like height should be described with numbers.

Instead say things that imply his height.

I like the story

This is interesting so far, a lot of passion in the writing.

One thing that bugs me is the overuse of 'falling unconscious' then waking up to do stuff again. It's relatively minor but you might want to look at alternative words in places.

Also, someone should have told Shining and Cadance that these changelings looked different to the ones they'd seen before and were being very open and passive.

For all they know, they just killed envoys from another nation.

10236463
Thanks for the feedback I'll make sure to stop repeating words :twilightsmile:

Also, someone should have told Shining and Cadance that these changelings looked different to the ones they'd seen before and were being very open and passive.
For all they know, they just killed envoys from another nation.

What do you think the main problem will be next chapter :trollestia:

We decided to take a shortcut through the nearby Park to save on time. It was very peaceful. The Birds were singing their sweet little tunes happily going about their life. The Flowers were mostly in Blume and a gentle wind is rustling through the Leaves and Bushes. The path we were walking down was lined with Flowers all different colors of the rainbow it is the pride and joy of the town. Walking through a park like this gives one time to think about how beautiful life can be compared to ours. Me a socially awkward nerd with a love of learning and politics and Karl a gentle Giant who would not hurt a fly. Unless said fly happened to be attacked for no reason. But even then, again he would rather take punches than give them.

Just one example of some of the things I noticed. Don't know why you write them in the upper-case, although I could guess (me being German, I would compare this to my mother tongue as nouns are actually written with an upper-case, so I'm going to assume something like this happened here...). Anyway, I rather liked the start of your story, I'm going to go read the rest when I feel like it.

10243137
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/703987930556792853/712638253085491270/1674595.png

(yeah I tend to mix the grammar of my two languages. I'll make sure to not write Denglish)
Glad you liked it :D

10243161
No problem. So I take it you speak German? :D

10243222
Well then... Guten Tag, my fellow German! :D

After lots of trial and error they had learned how to walk, albeit poorly, as quadrupeds. They made their way over to one of the walls of the cave that was made of some highly reflective ice. They used the wall to get a better look at their strange new bodies. During their inspection, several things came clear. Regina was about a head taller than Karl and had blue reptilian eyes with slits as pupils. She also had a crown-like appendage on top of her head behind her horn. Karl didn’t have any ‘hair’ like Regina and instead had white fins on the back of his head and where a tail should be.

Gotta admit I love it that she turned into a queen/proto-queen. There are way too little stories where that happens, so props to you!

“We may be in different bodies and probably not on earth anymore, but we are still alive.” Said Regina with a comforting smile. Well as comforting as it can be with 2 small fangs.

A little thing to miss, places (and planets, I guess), are written with an upper-case in English. Sorry for the nitpicking ;D

10243245
There is no such thing as nitpicking when it comes to spelling mistakes - Yoda (probably)

“K-Karl take a look at those figures” She said with a shaky voice. Karl confused did what she said and looked towards the gate. At first it looked like any gate one would find in a medieval city only made of some type of crystal instead of stone but what really got his attention was the guards. At first he thought they were some type of crystal statues of horses used as decoration, but they were moving!

Sorry, had to xD

Where is the next chapter at? The waiting is killing me here!

Ok i'm throwing this into "watched" list and hope that the update will come soon

Interresting as ever. another story of the waiting list that is ever growing 😋😋:twilightsmile:

Now to wait the next-button to appear, and see how ponies try to justify/bulls*t their ”shoot first- shoot some more- shoot even more” response against non-pony arrivals who did nothing except come within city limits...
Keep it up.

Is there going to any updates any time soon?

Well done

You get another follower and Im looking forward to more.

The Monk
“Puberty was a curse for those inflicted with it, and boundless amusement for others who survived the process.” -Scarheart

Damn it Shining you messed up. Come on Karl live live buddy. Anyway love the story.

Pokes teh author

The start has the oh so hard to read, two different characters' dialogue in the same paragraph issue. It clears up really quick, but thought you should know.

Well I’m hooked

10422979
Yeah xd. This was my first ever story so it sucks prob gonna go back and redo it as I am a lot better now and actually make this story the one it deserves to be

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