Turns out alicorns are ridiculously fertile. As in 'every time an alicorn has sex, there's a 95% chance they're going to wind up carrying a foal. Minimum.' And this is a problem, because everything else is normal: time spent gravid, mood swings, hormone shifts... it's just not a good idea for a Princess to rule a nation from a constant state of Dam Brain. Plus then you get to the fact that given a typical level of sex drive, there would be an endless parade of heirs galloping around the palace. The line of succession would have a six-mile wait and the front never moves. And then there's just raising all those foals...
In terms of rulership, having somepony in charge who has to live with either the stress of constant celibacy or pregnancy just doesn't make sense. And Celestia has a very healthy sex drive. She just doesn't want to destroy a nation through dealing with the consequences.
So she secretly has a little spell going. Constantly. It's been running for centuries with no signs of slowing down. It does only one thing, and it does that perfectly.
Every time Celestia has sex, somepony else gets pregnant.
Premise from Estee's blog post.
Rated C for Crackfic
Welp that was fine
Or did she predict it so she loose her emotions first?
Who know.
At first, I understood. And now I'm lost.
( - _ - ' )
wait, wait, wait. I read a blog about this idea earlier today. How does this fanfic already exist?
I think I detect some authorial bias.
Well, at least he wasn't named Peridot Foof...
Ah. The bias may not have been against Shining, per se.
Delightful if somewhat vindictive bit of goofiness, and a very impressive turnaround time. Thank you for it.
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Nah, Shining Armor is a fine character. I just needed a victim. And a Clevinger.
Oh.
Oh my.
Does this count as an incestuous closed time loop?
This was a fun crackfic.
Wait, does this mean Rarity might be one of Celestia's and that she then much later in life slept with Twilight to produce a descendant of Celestia upon Twilight. Because if so, that's damn sexy.
What.
An explanation for thestrals that I can get behind... um... I mean support.
WHAT.
WHAT.
Oh dear. :D
So she's the ubermare answer to the cuckoo bird?
This is a masterpiece
Forcing strangers to get pregnant, tho.
Wow that's definitely interesting to understand
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Also Vinyl Scratch
During their less mature years, I'd assum-
Oh, who am I kidding? They're probably like this all the time but are better at hiding it. Let me guess, the entire Nightmare Moon ordeal was a big moodswing after a pregnancy where the two of them got into a 4some and Luna was blaming Celestia for it?
Sooo....if even homosexual sex can impregnate an alicorn, does that mean that if they have anal sex their offspring will be a figurative piece of shit, and if they have oral sex that they'll be a figurative big-mouth?
Makes sense.
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I agree.
Also, fitting avatar picture.
Everything in this was written so terribly. And Yet, I couldn't look away...