A Shimmer of Comedy
What… is… up, YouTube? This is Sunset Shimmer coming to you live from the crippling boredom of my quarantine. It is my fourth week being stuck inside and I am rapidly approaching the point where I am considering starting a prank war with my housemate just to have something to do.
This would be a terrible choice, for the record, because Twilight is both a better engineer than me and more likely to escalate into mad science to achieve her revenge but… I almost don’t care.
I suppose I should be thankful that even though the lockdown stranded me at my house, it at least stranded me with a friend, you know? If Twilight was the type of student to just skip college whenever she felt like that and run home or run out on some trip, I’d be here alone. And I, um… well, let’s just say I don’t want to think about what I’d do.
Where I come from, video calls to stay in contact aren’t, uh, aren’t really a thing, so I kinda need a certain degree of personal interaction to stay sane.
Twilight, I’m sorry you and Spike are stuck here with me.
But not that sorry.
It could be worse. Applejack and Rarity were in Alaska with the rest of their bio class for an in-depth look at the ecosystem… and now they are stuck up in Alaska thanks to an airline screwup that overbooked the flight and left them behind. The rest of their class made it back, but they got stranded.
Fortunately AJ has family everywhere, so they’ve got a place they can stay. Unfortunately, that family is kinda in the middle of nowhere so… I’ll give you three guesses how Rarity’s handling the ‘rustic’ living.
First two don’t count.
Maybe AJ will take her hunting and go-pro it. That I would watch.
Sorry, Rarity, nothing personal. I’m just bored.
Fluttershy is back home, so at least she’s with family. Though, knowing her, she’s probably sneaking out at night to tend the animals of the city.
Um… any law enforcement agencies watching this? Let the records show that I’m kidding about that and that Fluttershy is a good and law-abiding citizen.
Dash and Pinkie are stuck at college like Twilight and I. So, you know, just another pair of housemates in lockdown, right? Just low-key hanging out like Twi and I, right?
Well, technically that’d be true… if one of those housemates wasn’t Pinkie Pie… who has been unable to throw parties… or host game nights… or plan any sort of shindig… for several weeks.
I’m not sure if I feel worse for Dash or for Pinkie in this situation, but if Dash makes it through this without needing to see a shrink, I’ll owe AJ fifty bucks.
Gotta say, it’s given me a greater appreciation for servicemen and women who get deployed overseas or at least out of state. So, shoutout to you folks in uniform – you have not only my gratitude, but my unbridled respect.
But, everyone’s finding ways to stay busy. Fluttershy is vlogging about obscure animal facts, Twilight is teaching science and engineering at a level that should proooobably net her a PhD, Dash is throwing herself at about eight kinds of content all at once, Applejack is teaching DIY everything because, seriously, that family is prepped to outlast six different apocalypses simultaneously, and Rarity is making DIY beautification videos for when you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere without access one’s accustomed, ahem, boutiques.
I have no doubt that these beautification videos will become progressively more manic as time goes on and it will be funny to watch.
… sheesh, I get kinda mean when I’m isolated for too long.
You might have noticed I didn’t mention Pinkie on that list. That’s because she kind of deserves her own explanation. You see, I’ve come to learn over the years that you just can’t stop the PONK, and what that means right now is that she’s bound and determined to continue throwing people parties… from afar… via party packages.
Like, with cake and presents and confetti firing from cannons.
Seriously.
I don’t even know where she’s getting the stuff to do this but… can’t stop the PONK. The world could be ending and she would still be making sure people got their birthday cakes. And un-birthday cakes. And I-think-you’re-special-even-if-I-can’t-come-see-you-without-a-hazmat-suit cakes. You gotta admire that kind of spirit.
Though, Pinkie, if you’re watching this, I have one request: Cool it with the confetti cannons. It was charming at first, but we’ve got confetti showing up in the pots and pans now. I think I coughed up a streamer the other day.
I love you. Please stop.
As for me, well, I’ve had time to think. And, in my thinking, I realized there are a lot of positives that can come out of this sort of thing.
No, I’m not crazy. Well… maybe I am, but this isn’t because of that. Let me explain.
Isolation sucks, plain and simple. But, in a lot of ways, it’s good to have a chance to be bored. I mean, it’s not fun, but life’s often not fun.
We need to be able to do low-dopamine tasks instead of just chasing a dopamine high all the time. We need to be able to be alone with our thoughts and just… contemplate things, without feeling the need to fill our days with doing stuff.
In the long run, this not only makes us more productive, but it actually makes us enjoy our time off more. It means that, when we’re off-the-clock, we don’t always have to be just go-go-go all the time, stressing about our leisure by trying to fill every last second with this weird I-must-be-having-the-time-of-my-life mentality.
At least, that’s what Twilight tells me, because she’s been reading about three philosophy books a day. The most recent one on the list was Leisure: the Basis of Culture by Joseph Pieper, which is really good and you should probably read it instead of doing what I’ve been doing with my time. Namely, falling deeper into the internet hole.
Because… yeah. Despite the fact that I stand by everything I just said about not chasing the dopamine hits, I have been a complete hypocrite and spent waaaaaay too much time online.
Some of which has been productive, some of which has been… difficult to quantify.
I mean… I’ve learned a lot of new things, which is pretty cool, but it’s taken me to some… odd places.
Like, I just spent half an hour watching a military guy talk about a functional replica of the Halo series’ MA37 Assault Rifle, and he did the entire thing in character as though he were a retired soldier in-universe talking about the weapon and its pros and cons, which was really interesting, and that led me to watching a bunch of videos on forgotten weapons, followed by some guy reviewing… um… gun memes.
Like I said, difficult to quantify.
The first one at least kinda made sense – I play video games, I love Halo, it’s topical, you know? Then I was thinking, “Well, forgotten weapons… that’s history, right? I’m on enforced break from school, but I’ve still got assignments. Maybe I can get a paper out of this.” Then I got into the memes and… I don’t know. I just really don’t know where my day went.
I don’t even know much about guns. I mean, I know basic firearm safety and first aid, because, come on, I’m friends with Applejack. It’d kinda be impossible to be her friend and not get that. But that’s it. I don’t how this started.
Actually, that’s not true. I do – a friend sent me the videos, but that’s a weird story for another day. Maybe if this gets enough views and a lot of people hound me about it I’ll tell it in another video, but for now I’ll just tell you:
It wasn’t AJ.
That did get me thinking about what I could be doing to help people during this time, though. And then I thought about how much Pinkie talks about laughter being the best medicine. So, maybe we all need some light-hearted stuff to laugh at during this time. Some stories, some jokes, and, of course, some memes.
Yeah. Twilight and Fluttershy are teaching science, AJ and Rarity are teaching practical tips, and I’m gonna be… reviewing memes.
…
Because this is what my life has become.
We’ll see if this format lasts. Honestly it will probably depend on whether or not you guys like it or if you’d rather just hear funky stories, but for today I’ll bust out my phone and we’ll start with a few Corona memes.
Nothing too edgy, though. Not sure if the Google gremlins will play nice with that request but… we’ll see how it goes.
Just… uh… just do me a favor and go do that inner-contemplation-and-peace thing I was talking about earlier so I don’t just feel like a drug dealer in a back alley passing out dopamine hits.
Alright, first up is a look at—
*snicker*
Okay, I guess I did say Corona memes, but I didn’t mean it quite like this.
I guess it was inevitable. I mean… a slow pitch like this, right across the plate, you gotta take a swing. Bet there’re a bunch of these out there.
Man, I’d hate to be on Corona’s marketing team right now. What do you even do with that?
Like, seriously, what could you do with a name like ‘Corona’ for your beer in this environment?
Actually, I’d hate to be on Corona’s marketing team in general. I’d have to tell people the beer was good and I think lying would wear on me.
By the way, if you like Corona beer… I’m sorry.
*muffled words*
What’s that, Twilight?
I said are you sorry for the joke or sorry they like the beer?
…
I plead the Fifth
*laughter*
Anyway, now that I’ve guaranteed I won’t be getting a Corona sponsorship, let’s see what else we’ve got.
Hah!
Okay, that pun was painful, but I just love that meme format. Besides, puns are kinda supposed to hurt.
Though I do hope my entire feed isn’t just beer jokes.
Next meme!
I honestly don’t know enough about Canadians and their love of hockey to speak on this with any authority, but I have heard that this is what happens whenever Canadians go to war. You hear about these guys who went on one-man rampages to liberate entire towns during World War Two and think, “You folks must have a lot of pent-up aggression, eh?”
So… yeah. I’d believe this one.
What else we got?
*laughter*
Yeah, accurate. I don’t really have anything to add to that one.
Next one looks like it’s from Hunger Games and— Hah! Okay, that’s awesome!
When I’m feeling kinda melodramatic, this is legit what it feels like to go shopping.
Man, Hunger Games. Haven’t thought about them in a while. How different would it have been if the entire thing had just been a satire of dystopian novels where the whole thing was a war over toilet paper.
Probably would have been better.
Wow, I can already hear the angry typing in my comment section, so let me explain.
I don’t hate the Hunger Games, I just have a hard time taking them seriously. Mostly because the whole villainous empire just makes no sense. As someone who has spent… probably an unhealthy amount of time thinking about world domination and the many ways not to do it, partially from personal missteps, I am quite confident in saying that Panem wouldn’t last a year; at least not at that level of technology and prosperity in the Capital.
Soapbox moment!
To give just one example, they take an entire massive district and say, “Lumber.” Just. Lumber. What if they have other valuable natural resources there? Lumber. What if they have other fine goods they could be producing? Lumber.
I don’t know, maybe they’d be able to control the country just by sitting on all the guns and nukes and disarming the populace, but they wouldn’t be able to build this super-advanced society without some degree of freedom, innovation, commerce, and self-determination amongst the populace. This is why tyrannical regimes ultimately burn themselves out – they eventually destroy their own capacity to build and innovate and have to steal from other countries to survive
Except Panem has no one else to steal from, and they’re completely mismanaging the resources they currently have.
There. You’ve learned something. Now I feel less bad for enabling my fellow dopamine addicts.
Couple more memes and we’ll call it a day.
Next is a cat. Who doesn’t love cats?
Me. I don’t love cats. Which is part of why I find this so funny.
Before you cat lovers hate on me… I’ve had a couple individual cats I’ve loved, but I just can’t shake the feeling that most cats look at me like they’re sizing up the local bloodstock. It’s creepy.
Please don’t be mad, Fluttershy. I’m glad you can see the good in the whole of Felinity, but I’m just not there yet.
Up next is Baby Yoda! I love the Baby Yoda meme! This oughta put a smile on my…
...
…
… aaaaand now I’m gonna be thinking about that when I lie awake at night.
‘Cause that’s just…
… ew.
Rarity probably shouldn’t watch this video.
Well, on that germaphobic note, I think that’s a good place to call it a day.
Let me know what you think of the new video format and if you want to see more of this or something else. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe, and hit that notification bell so you never miss an upload.
Or, you know, go read a good book. Twilight probably has some recommendations.
*muffled interjection*
Check that, Twilight definitely has some recommendations.
Stay healthy, friends! Catch ya later!
…
And… please… when this is all over… keep washing your hands.
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I'd like to see a chapter from each of the other girls. Then, maybe some stuff mimicking messages where they all try and organize a group chat. I really like how fun and topical this is. I'm stuck in a dorm room all by myself until this semester ends, and it's really bumming me out. Stories like this help out with not being able to see friends, even the ones that are still on campus. Because of the virus.
It's good that Rarity and AJ are stuck together. I feel like their girlfriend-y isolation hijinks with extended Apple relatives would be an awesome story in its own right.
Also, after the Spongebob meme, all the others need to be posted again. There are various error messages.
This was fun! Definitely have benefits to boredom if this stuff comes out of it.
I’d like to see things like the other characters joining in, Sunset’s take on other sci-fi fantasy books in greater detail, word on how AJ and Rarity are doing in alaska, snapping on the prank war front (talent vs experience!) and what happens when Pinkie gets involved. Maybe the unstoppable Ponk organizing board game nights remotely.
I wanted to quote my favourite line for my story but every line is my favourite. I live for Rarity and Applejack being isolated, and Rarity slowly losing her sanity.
Honestly, wherever this story goes I'm hyped.
I couldn't see half of the memes. (Might be because I'm on mobile)
Chapter was good in spite of it tho, you nailed Sunny, I think.
Good stuff mate, though your memes kinda broke. Maybe re-host them through Imgur or something before linking them here?
Is this a thing? Because I would absolutely watch this if it was a thing.
You can't stop. The PONK.
Can't stop the PONK
Fluttershy wants to know your location.
This worked very well. It felt more like Sunset reaching out through you, so desperate for a more varied human connection that she hit a different universe. And I mean that in the best way. I agree that seeing some of the other girls' videos would be a delight. I can't help but imagine Pinkie hijacking someone else's chapter. And literally all of YouTube. Somehow. Just to wish us all a fun day. See top of comment.
Looking forward to seeing where else you go with this. (And speaking as someone who watched a lawyer review law memes yesterday, I empathize with Sunset way too much right now.) Oh, and as has been noted, most of the memes are only viewable by pulling out the URLs via developer tools at the moment.
10200744
I would also watch this if it were a thing.
10200753
Hit me with that sweet, sweet link, please. I need to experience this.
10200744
10200923
Check out Garand Thumb for the Halo video (it is real) and Forgotten Weapons. Fair warning about Garand Thumbs - I've been warned his comment section is so toxic it has literally infected other gun-guy channels. He seems as befuddled by that as anyone else.
10200744
I'm also a technological illiterate. How do I do that thing with the Imagr and whatnot?
10200594
Might have fixed most of the memes. Others reported the same problem. If not, links in description.
10200923
Here you go.
This was fun. It's nice to see some humor coming from all this.
Certainly helps when I'm an essential worker. Anything that holds off potential existential dread.
This and Romance of the Three Kingdoms will keep me sane.
10200990
10200944
These are excellent time killers. Thanks, y'all.
Sunset is basically EqG Mini Ladd. Even has her own fanatical cult following courtesy of FanOfMostEverything. I find this far more amusing than I should. All hail the Divine Bacon Horse.
10201090
"Please do not hail the Divine Bacon Horse. I do not need my cult going multiversal."
10201117
Too bad I don’t know any discordians....
Critical Role
If you know of it: Bidet and may the Traveler be with you.
If you don't know of it: Many hours shall you find passing as you watch their epic tales. The audio isn't great for part of the first campaign, but it does get better.
10201117
I feel this version of Sunset and Lilith in Borderlands would get along in that respect - "No, please stop worshiping me. Seriously. Stop."
With AJ and Rarity stuck in Alaska, I wonder how their sisters are coping.
This... I need more of this. Maybe get some special guest appearance over livestream and stuff like that
10202084
I hadn't even considered that, but that's a pretty funny idea. We'll see if I get any ideas for that. If I do and I'm happy with them, they might make an appearance.
I wonder if Sunset would flee to Equestria in a virus pandemic.
Love this! Can't wait for more.
This is the type of quality content I need in absolute boredom. This. Is. Beautiful.
Do you think this story can be an anthology of ALL the vlog videos people are doing during the pandemic?
10207314
Meaning all the various cast members? I do plan on having more than just Sunset if that's what you're asking.
Well, this one's going into the favorites list right away.
I just had that much fun reading it!
10222550
Glad to hear it!
DISGUSTANG!!!! Please wash your hands.