You are Anon and after the emotional rollercoaster you were just on, you felt as though you could use some good news at this point. You'd told Spike about your budding relationship with Rarity and after an emotionless response and abrupt departure, you were afraid that you'd lost a good friend and dashed a good person's hopes of ever finding love outside of the white mare that he cherished. A short time later, he returned and, to your total amazement, admitted that he was upset at first but accepted you dating Rarity as long as you treated her right. That was a no brainer after you shook hands with him and even hugged him, the two of you split the remainder of his cookies and life went on as usual. Although you couldn't tell if his threat of burning you to ashes was a half-hearted joke or a warning, it still felt good to have your dragon buddy back.
Leaving Twilight's place, you strode through town with your shoulders back and your head held high. Now that things with Spike were settled, you felt your future with Rarity was that more prosperous. Townsfolk chattered and sold their wares but started whispering amongst themselves when you passed by, trading amazed looks or staring incredulously in your direction. Well, so far nopony broke out the pitchforks and torches, so you were convinced they at least tolerated the concept of a human dating a pony. You waved to those three florist mares and they returned the gesture, giggling to each other.
"Hey Anon!"
You turned to find a mint-green unicorn trotting towards you, followed closely by a beige-colored earth pony. Lyra Heartstrings was one of the few ponies to greet you with open arms when you first arrived. Her erstwhile companion Bon Bon took a little more time to warm up to you but now she gave you free chocolate pretzels whenever you visited her candy shop. Even after all this time, you still had no idea if they were just friends or lovers, given the fact that you rarely saw one without the other. Due to the overwhelming amount of mares compared to stallions, lesbianism wasn't uncommon in Equestria and you weren't one to judge another's lifestyle. Especially if it was hot.
"Lyra, Bon Bon! How's it going?"
"Great! Bonny and I just wanted to congratulate you! We're so happy for you!"
"It's nice to see you finally find a special somepony," Bon Bon sweetly added.
You beamed down at them. "Thanks you two! So you heard the word around town?"
They snickered to each other and Lyra gave you a sly grin. "Let's just say that we heard it straight from Rarity's mouth." She then winked while Bon Bon snorted.
"What, did Rarity tell you?"
After a short round of giggles, Lyra said, "Rarity wasn't exactly subtle the other night."
Your cheeks reddened. How many neighbors had heard your romp? It was a little embarrassing but also kind of gratifying to know you could make your marefriend so loud while pleasuring her.
"I see," you managed. "Well, thanks anyway. I've got to get going."
"Wait!" Lyra darted in front of you. "Please Anon...I need my fix. It's been two whole days!"
You rolled your eyes. Kneeling down to one knee, you placed your fingers behind Lyra's ear and curled them, scratching that spot you knew she loved. Her little hindleg kicked at the ground hard enough to create dust, her tail wagging dog-like as she started panting. Bon Bon stood by watching you curiously, biting her lower lip. Was it wrong that you were getting a little turned on by this?
"Oh, oh, yes! A-a little to the left! Mmm, yeeeees! Mama likes it!"
"Okay, that's enough," you declared, standing up and straightening your pants so you could try to hide your half-chub. "I'll see you two later."
"Oh, man! Bye Nonny!"
"See you later, Anon!"
Bidding farewell to the Ambiguously Gay Duo, you passed by several other well-wishers and coyly-grinning mares. The biggest downside to living in a small town? Word travels fast. Despite being the town gossip, you knew Rarity kept her private life to herself and wouldn't go blabbing about her bedroom exploits. She was too lady-like for that. Hey you know what they say, "a lady on the streets, a freak in the sheets."
You dug your heels into the ground and skidded to an abrupt stop at the same time a mare ten away from you did. Her eyes narrowed beneath her Stetson, making you feel like you were in a western. Applejack was a cowgirl-er, mare-whose family had been operating Sweet Apple Acres, an apple farm for the better part of a century or so. When you first arrived, you freaked out and brandished a hatstand like a club, giving the orange earth pony a good clock on the noggin. Even though it was a panic-induced accident and you apologized profusely, she never quite forgave you for putting her out of work for a week and kept her distance as a result.
You briefly worked for her on the farm applebucking (which, come on, sounded really dirty) and it seemed to go alright at first. Your height meant that you could reach stubborn apples that refused to budge and your strength matched both Applejack's and her Hulk of a brother Big Mac, who rarely contributed to a conversation without a simple "Eeyup" or "Enope." Nevertheless, he was actually a cool guy and you two went out drinking a couple of times. That is, until a drinking match between you resulted in him getting so plastered that he smashed the jukebox, resulting in him having to pay for a new one and being permanently banned from The Water Trough. After that, things only seemed to go downhill from there.
Applejack's little sister Apple Bloom was one of the cutest, most precious little things you'd ever met. Unlike her sister, her accent was cute and had an innocent folksy sound to it and was overall great to be around. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and their friend Scootaloo made up their own little club called the Cutie Mark Crusaders and often got into all kinds of whacky shenanigans, some of which you took part in. There were no issues with you hanging around them but when you stubbed your toe and Apple Bloom overheard you call it a "fucking splooge-rag," she decided that it would be her new catchphrase. That got you kicked off the farm and out of a job.
Oh, and you once referred to Granny Smith as an "old horse," a word which apparently did not mean what you thought it meant and almost resulted in Applejack putting you through a wall.
"Anon," Applejack grumbled.
"Hey Applejack!" You cutely waved.
"Mind gettin' outta mah way? Ah've kinda got uh full load here." She gestured to the wagon full of apples that she was hitched to. "Unlike some critters, Ah work fer uh livin'."
"Look, I said I was sorry for the calling-Granny-Smith-a-horse thing. You don't need to be a bitch about it."
She did not appreciate that. "What did Ah tell ya about tha language?!"
Taking a deep breath, you shouted, "Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits!"
You sped away, a horseshoe whizzing past your ear.
Whatever, she didn't like you anyway and it wasn't as though you didn't try to make up for all of the unfortunate incidences between you two. You were scared out of your wits when you hit her so she was overacting about that. Hell, you offered to do her work for her while she recovered but that just pissed her off more. Big Mac was an angry drunk and that was out of your hands since he should've known his own alcohol limits. Okay, using bad words in front of impressionable foals was bad but how were you supposed to know that "horse" in Equestria equated to "prostitute?"
In your professional opinion, Applejack just needed to get laid.
You walked across a small white bridge and entered the park, a nice long area of grass dotted with oak trees and the occasional shrubs. Couples were having pic-a-nics while the foals played tag or flew kites. It just went to further remind you of home and the minute differences between humans and ponies. Slumping into a wooden bench, you groaned and stretched out your legs, enjoying the gentle breeze and the warm sun, courtesy of Princess Baby-Got-Back. You were ready to close your eyes and take a nap when you soon spotted a certain yellow pegasus skipping along, merrily singing to herself.
"Morning Fluttershy!"
The mare turned and upon noticing you, gasped and galloped towards you. Fluttershy, being a timid, socially-intimidated person, was a bit scared of you at first, your whole swinging-a-hatstand incident not helping first impressions-wise. You were patient and a few weeks later, was comfortable enough to say hi. Months later, she finally warmed up enough to you to show you her cottage and introduce you to her animal friends. She keeps a fucking bear around! If you had a bear watching your back, you'd be walking around town like you owned the place.
Angel, her pet bunny, was a little asshole that bit you whenever Fluttershy turned her back but acted like his namesake when she was watching. Maybe you shouldn't have tried to pet his ears without his permission or threatened to turn him into rabbit stew the first he bit you. To your amazement, Fluttershy was friends with Discord, a misshapen pony-dragon-bird thing that was the literal personification of chaos and better yet, actually held some sway over him. The first time you learned this little fact, you privately wondered how she hadn't taken over Equestria by now and appointed Angel as the despotic mayor of Ponyville.
You knelt down, being mindful of the food bags as Fluttershy darted into your open arms. She nuzzled your chest and hummed pleasurably. "How've you been, Flutters? I haven't seen you in a week."
"Oh, I had this nasty cold but I'm all better!" Fluttershy gave you one of her patented too-cute-hate smiles. "I missed you," she blushed.
You rubbed the back of her head. "I missed you too." You became aware of the fact that she was now seated atop your raised thigh, her long tail wrapping around your leg and she was leaning in close.
You cleared your throat and set her down. "So anyway, what's new with you?"
Fluttershy seemed momentarily saddened by the loss of physical contact. Ponies loved giving hugs or nuzzles, something that pissed you off slightly during your initial stay in Ponyville, all of the unwanted touching making you very irritated. Thankfully, they wised up and now only shook your hand or hugged you when given explicit permission. A part of you figured that Fluttershy had a crush on you but given Pinkie Pie and Twilight's affectionate nature towards you, you soon scrapped that theory. She smiled and all of your fears vanished.
"Well, one of the chipmunks gave birth to a litter of five adorable little kits and I put up a new hummingbird feeder," Fluttershy replied, eyes sparkling with excitement. "Do you think you could come by my cottage and help me build some birdhouses? A family of robins just moved in."
Even with her being the Element of Kindness, it still amazed you how thoughtful and kindhearted Fluttershy was. You'd think that after two years you'd be used to it but the pegasus continued to surprise you.
"I have some errands to run but sure," You grinned and rubbed her head, making her giggle as you ran your fingers through her silky-smooth mane. "Anything for you, Flutters!"
Humming, Fluttershy presented her neck and you obliged, scratching through the fur to the soft skin underneath. Her wings unfurled, partially shielding your face from the sun, reminding you of their impressive size. It was really a shame that she was such a weak flier. She had a petite frame that would be aerodynamically perfect for flight and you could easily see her graceful movements on the ground translating to the sky. Man, you wish you could fly!
And had a solid gold 12-gauge shotgun that fired diamond buckshot. Because why not?
Your arm tired so you stopped your ministrations, much to Fluttershy's disappointment, the pegasus emitting a soft whimper at the loss of her neck scratches. You rose to your full height, shaking your head amusingly. Ponies were so weird but also so goddamn cute it ought to be illegal.
"Anyways, I've got to get going. See ya later?"
"Absolutely! See you, Anon!"
You waved Fluttershy off as she skipped away, resuming her merry humming. Your eyes drifted to her tight little rump. Given her looks, singing voice and kind heart, it was only a matter of time before some lucky stallion snatched her up. Maybe you could ask Rarity if she'd like to-
Nope, no, too early for that! You just starting dating a talking pony and it was too soon to discuss the idea of a three-way or a herd situation. Basically, a herd was a collection of a stallion and usually two to six mares in a polyamorous relationship, typically all living in the same house and supporting one another financially. It was kind of like marriage except it was a dude and multiple chicks. Since there was a disproportionate male-to-female ratio, herds became more commonplace though not everypony went for it. Single-pony monogamy or marriage was still the norm but herds weren't a taboo like polyamory was on Earth, herds being viewed as more of an alternative tradition.
You soon found yourself stepping through the door of Carousal Boutique, the little bell tink-tink-tinkling as you strode through the store. A few mares like Carrot Top and Octavia Melody waved at you and you happily waved back. You found Rarity hard at work taking measurements for Derpy, that wall-eyed mailmare that always smelled of muffins. You'd heard that she started going out with Time Turner, a Doc Brown-esque earth pony whose inventions sometimes bordered on the supernatural. There was that one time he accidently punched a hole through reality with his sub-atomic telescreen and let's just say that you couldn't sleep for days.
"Hey Rarity!"
"Inthemiddleofsomething,Darling!" The unicorn speedily muttered out, writing down measurements on one sheet of paper while designing rough sketches for dresses on the other. You tottered on your heels, waiting for her to finish up. Once Rarity was in "the Zone," nopony could reach her until she was out of it. It reminded you of being a kid and not being able to pry your eyes away from the TV until you could beat the final boss in Contra. "No, that won't do at all!"
"And could you make sure it's blue?" Derpy inquired. "Time Turner really likes the color blue. In fact, he has this blue box-..."
"Uh huh, blue, got it!" Rarity hastily scratched out a design before her face lit up in a eureka moment. "Ideaaaa! Perhaps a nice bouffant with see-through shoulder straps?"
She spun the paper around and Derpy squealed in delight. "It's perfect! I can't wait until Time Turner sees it!"
"Trust me, he won't be able to see anything but you," Rarity assured her. "I'll let you know when it's ready."
"Great! Bye Rarity!" Derpy stumbled past her, tripping on her own hooves before bumping into your hip. "Oof! Oh, hi Anon!"
"Hey Derpy. Got a hot date?"
"Yep! First I've got to pick Ditzy up from a friend's house. Have a good day!"
The pegasus pushed the door open and, after a little mishap, took to the air, whizzing above the head of a stallion that was somehow always covered in jelly. Like you said, ponies were weird.
"Hi Anon! Sorry about that, you know how I get when-Ahhh!"
You followed Rarity's outstretched hoof towards the door, where a thin trail of dirty footprints led from across the carpet. Shit...
"Damn! I am so-..."
Taking off her glasses, Rarity gestured to the backroom with the angry darting of her eyes. Yep, when a woman (or mare) gave you that look, you were definitely in the doghouse. Being careful not to drag your feet, you wordlessly followed her and leaned up against her desk as she slammed the door behind her. T-minus five seconds until bitch-fit. 5...4...3...2...1...
"What were you thinking?"
Gentlemen, we have liftoff!
"Just because we're dating does not mean that you get to just traipse around my shop and treat it like its your own personal pigpen!"
"Look Rares, I'm sorry, okay? I wiped my feet when I came In."
"Hmph! Not good enough, I'd say."
You pinched the bridge of your nose. "I said I was sorry! That dirt's hard to get out of sneaker soles but seeing as you don't even wear shoes, I wouldn't expect you to understand."
Rarity furrowed her brow. "Excuse me but do you think us ponies never get anything trapped in our hooves? Why do you think we have rugs? Don't be so thoughtless!"
"Don't call me thoughtless! If anything, the dirt is an improvement!"
"'Improvement'?! That carpet cost fifteen-hundred bits and came straight from Upper Canterlot!"
"Well, I'd say you got ripped off."
Jumping up on her hindlegs, she came up to your stomach and jabbed a hoof at your side.
"What would you possibly know about high-end upholstery, you culture-deprived brute?!"
You glared down at her. "Yeah? And you're an uptight busy-body with a stick up her keister."
"How dare you, you...? Why are you laughing?"
A hand went over your mouth as you snickered. "I'm sorry, it's just that...this is our first fight as a couple." You stopped to let out a loud chuckle. "And it's about carpets!"
Rarity dropped back down to all fours and stared at you until a small smile appeared.
"Ha...ha ha ha! I guess it is!"
For two whole minutes, the both of you giggled like hyenas at a comedy club, no doubt attracting the ears of the curious mares outside the room. Once the laughing gradually subsided, you gently grasped Rarity around her waist and lifted her up, cradling her in your arms. The unicorn sighed, placing her head against your chest, your heart pounding in her ear. You stroked her back, a chill running down your spine at the softness of her fur. Rarity kissed your hand.
"I'm sorry I blew up at you," she said, blue eyes sparkling.
It's funny, but you never really cared about a girl's eye color before but seeing Rarity's shimmering up at you stirred all kinds of feelings within you. "Yeah, well...I kind of had it coming. I'm sorry for being so thoughtless. It didn't look like the dirt went too deep into the carpet. I'll clean it up ASAP."
"Thanks Darling," Rarity cooed and lightly pecked your lips.
"Oh no you don't!" You placed a hand on the back of her head and lined your mouths up, bringing her into a long, deep kiss. She tasted like mint tea with a light pinch of butter pecan, your tongue lapping at her gums to dig the cookie crumbs out. Your mouth vibrated as she let out an impassioned moan, her own tongue circling around the tip of yours. You could feel her hooves pressing into your chest and her pelvis grinding up against yours, making your penis hard enough to dent titanium.
Your lips suckled on Rarity's before you pulled away, your heart doing jumping jacks at the salacious gaze she was giving you. "You should...probably..."
"I should get back to work..."
"To work, yeah."
Ignoring your raging boner, you set Rarity down and she fluffed out her mane.
"Ahem. We'll continue this later, Darling."
You felt something smack your butt and saw the glow of Rarity's horn going out. With a wink, she turned around, swaying her hips side to side before telekinetically goading the door to open and close behind her. Status report: you're alone in your marefriend's office with a major case of blue balls and a rock-hard erection. Spotting a box of tissues, you pulled out a few sheets and dropped your pants, your dick swinging upward as if leaping up in joy.
Fuck it, you were going to whack it.
well...shiiieet
10206104
Is that good?
No romance story would be complete without at least a little hint of drama.
10206180
Did you like it?
with that come
10206076
with that comedy tag, not going to rule out he was dense enough to assume parent ponies brought saddles so when entertaining their foals with piggy back rides they wouldn't easily fall off. This idea was spawned from an episode where Spike rode on twilight's back. I think it was the molt episode towards the end.
10206191
You're doing great, so far.
10206232
Thanks!
Man there were so many jokes I wanted to say but now I fell that would be disrespectful and cold for what just happen.
I mean I just…wow. The emotions here are just…wow. Both parties need to think really hard what happen, But Rarities parents…I just wow, they have a lot to think about, even more if it turns out that Anon can actually impregnate her
Well Anon, now is time for some serious soul searching. Your new marefriend just chose you above her mother and father, which means she is serious about the relationship with you. The question is are you?
10206240
Well if he can't get her pregnant, I'm sure there is somepony that can help out. After all, a child can be a result from love and that child can be a true source of chaos.
pretty sure magic can solve the not a pony thing among other problems related to reproduction.
its not like she's friends with a princess of magic, a unicorn that learned to bend time and space to her whims, or knows a chaotic being who can do whatever for the lols.
of course it wouldn't be drama if they thought of this so gotta get plot amnesia so they can't solve this problem instantly.
or could double down, alcohol got him a marefriend, maybe alcohol can chill her parents out.
10206267
If you are thinking what I'm thinking…we will need lots of frosting, a hornet nest, some strings, a rope and a squirrel
And I hope those two come to their senses, I would hate to see them leave the story in that note
10206304
Also is a establish fact that there is a spell that transforms ponies into other species. So it wouldn't be far fetch, the idea of Twilight casting a spell that can turn Anon into a pony for a day if she so wish too. Or heck only transform the part they need, so he can truly breed Rarity. It can be as easy as that too.
10206305
Giggity
MMmm, too out of charecter, Rarity wouldn't be so hasty too soon, perhaps if her parents did something bad to get her separated from anon, anyway; something nobody actually mentions is the changing species spell, the one twilight used to transform her freinds into brezzes, that could be an option, at least for having foals, in case the spell is not permanent, said spell should be common for interspecies couples.
10206378
True but what about the unforeseen side-effect of magic on a subject from a world that lacks magic?
10206387
Welp, that will depend on how magic works, does you need a special anatomy or organ for it to do something to you, remember that there are normal animals in equestria, and also that in the mirror world, magic works fine on people, if anything that is another posibility to having offspring, rarity could go the the human world, and become human, thus having human children, or better yet, just transform rarity into a human, Anon is the template, they won't be ponies, but they would be their blood.
10206279
Ha, that is genius!
10206417
All fair points, which will be addressed in the future.
10206417
I agree with what you say, just wanted to add a small thing. In the Equestria Girl universe, magic works but doesn't work the same way than in Equestria, it mutated and changes. Sometimes in an unpredictable manner.
Remember what Sunset say "Do you know what happen with magic in this world?"
And heck the same applied later on with her friends developing magic by sheer contact like residue, something that doesn't happen in Equestria.
And again with Twilight when she absorb pure magic and lost control.
Overall, Equestria girl, is a factor but it could potentially be also a gamble.
10206323
really hoping its that plot amnesia caused by all this drama. They're relationship just started so going to give them a past cause they might not want a baby atm while excusing the fact they were friends before they became a couple.
10206454
Not really, remember the cruise and the island? they all went to equestria from a natural portal, one that wasn't created artificially, so all the humans became ponies just fine, perhaps in the human world that couldn't happen, but once they got to equestria, it was ok, so i imagine that anon came not through a portal, but was kind of summoned, which didn't transfer the natural transformation that he may have had, and i also imaging that going to the mirror world and coming back, perhaps through the natural portal, could fix that, once he is a pony, i imaging that transforming him back to a human shouldn't be too hard, also going back and forth shouldn't be a problem.
Thus the drama commences. I see you're taking a more "plot" driven angle toward the story.
So yea im seeing some drama. I wonder too what end though
I get what the parents are saying but their lack of tact was definitely...regretable
Looks like Rarity stood by her boo though, very sweet
Damn... I need more of this
I feel you contradicted yourself a little bit. Earlier in the story Anon stated that he was actually fine on bits. Not rich, but fine. Here it sounds like he's dirt poor.
On another note, I don't get how the racism in ponies idea came to be. Because of the Zecora episode? I still think they feared her because she was freaking cloaked and lived in the Everfree without a care in the world, not because she's a zebra.
10207110
There's also the whole Thorax debacle. They were ready to get rid of him because he was a changeling, scoffing at the very idea of a changeling being good. If that's not speciesism, I don't know what is.
10206646
Just waiting for the 30 moons to happen each time, plus both comics and show tells that is dangerous using it too much, that it could make a fissure between dimensions but I see what you mean
10207137
With the given history (them not existing before the invasion) I think its only logical to react negatively at first in that situation.
But even then, with a little encouragement from Spike they gave him a chance. And with the exception of Naysayer, everypony seemed fine with Ocellus. At least no pony ever walked up to her like: "Go home to Ponymexico" or some dumb shit like that.
And again, maybe I didn't made myself clear enough: I don't criticize you or your story for making ponies racist. Hell, maybe there is reason you didn't let us know yet and only will be available further into the story. I was just lamenting were the idea came from in the first place.
10207151
You make a lot of good points and I will delve further into it.
My advice from the PM I sent you still stands. I also have to agree with 10206378 in a sense. Everyone in this story seems to overreact to everything that involves Anon. I still really like this story and am eager to keep reading, don't get me wrong. I just feel like it could be better if you toned it down a bit.
On a positive note, I sense some foreshadowing with Lyra, Bon Bon and Anon
10206378
You're forgetting that Anon is from a world with no magic and is the only one of his kind in this world. There's no way of telling the side effects that could happen if they tried something on him. Breezies are a thing in Equestria so developing a spell to become one shouldn't be too difficult.
10207621
1. Okay but isn't one of Rarity's defining traits being a slave to her emotions? Best Night Ever, Simple Ways, and Sonic Rainboom just to name a few. If she falls head-over-hooves in love with someone, wouldn't she be blinded by her affection for him and her hurt by another's words, especially those close to her?
2. In the show both fear of the unknown (Zecora) and speciesism (Thorax) does happen and lead to serious conflict so is it so hard to believe that some individuals wouldn't accept Anon or his relationship to Rarity? I am working on making Anon more flawed but aside from any problems with he might have with other characters, would everybody really just be okay with him and Rarity being together? No one would have reservations about two non-ponies being together? How many inter-species couples have been depicted in the series? Not many.
3. Magic is great but it can't solve everything. Anon is a human, so far the only one to have ever existed in their world and comes from a place with no magic. Aside from the ponies' unfamiliarity with his physiology, there's a chance their magic won't affect him the same it does to anything from Equestria. The risks could be massive, leading to injury, permanent deformation or even death. Besides, would there even be any tension if there was a spell for everything? There's a difference between magic as a tool and magic as a narrative do-it-all device.
4. Partially going back to 2, having the different reactions to this strange new couple not only creates relatable drama but also puts things into perspective for Anon and raises the stakes.
This is a good discussion on ponies being racist.
In this version of the MLP universe the author has created: it's more catered to being seen through the eyes of an adult... there's drinking, discussions of sex, rumors spread, and lesbianism (because Rainbow dash casually mentions she's not a lesbian but would still tap rarity's ass... because dat ass.)
This is what the Alt-U tag is for, so the author can explore these adult ideas--including racism--how ever they please. It may be a little ooc for Rarity's parents to be racist, but I'm on board to see where the author takes it.
10207822
Thank you! People just aren't getting that this is an alternate universe.
10207659
I just want to make it clear again that I really like your story. I think you're a great writer, I like you, and I hold no negative feelings towards you. This is just constructive criticism because I want your story to be the best it can be, for my sake, the sake of the readers, and for your sake as well
1. I don't mind looking at this from an angle similar to what you are presenting, which is that Rarity is kind of emotionally immature and will overreact when it comes to her first serious romance (I assume it is). I was thinking about that as I was reading. I guess it's not so much Rarity's reaction that bothers me, but her parents. Specifically her dad. It feels melodramatic, at this stage, that everypony is crying and getting so mad. Rarity and her mom, maybe... but Rarity's dad, too? At the very least, Anon should have made a joke about how hyper-emotional everypony was being. But the scene is played completely straight and it feels like too much too soon.
2. I understand what you are getting at as you have made those references to Zecora and Thorax (I don't know who that is, just FYI, as I haven't watched past the first few episodes of Season 3) before. I can only comment on Zecora, but let's remember that before the Mane Six meets her, she lives in the Everfree Forest, nopony knows her or has seemingly ever talked to her, and she wears a full robe that covers her face. That is a lot different than Anon, who is pretty open to everyone, has lots of friends, is known by everypony in Ponyville, and who does NOT live anywhere creepy or dangerous.
Here is the thing that I haven't been making clear, and that's my fault: You CAN have ponies not like Rarity and Anon being together! In fact, other characters getting in the way of the main romance is generally the crux of pretty much every romance-centered story ever. But making the main factor in why ponies dislike that romance be racism is boring. Even more so when that racism isn't really made believable. I know you think that it seems to be, but at least from my perspective, I can't really chew it, and I don't think I'm the only one.
3. I wasn't agreeing with that other anon in terms of his suggestion about a magic baby spell. It's certainly an option, but yeah, I wasn't advocating for that.
4. I addressed this in my own 2 for the most part.
Sorry, I meant to reply a lot earlier. Just got very sidetracked
10207635
I haven't read the story, so I don't know if the commenters talking about using Twilight's species change spell are talking about turning Rarity into a human, or Anon into a pony. Either way, there's a potential problem before even getting into the fact that Anon has no magic.
The potential problem with turning Rarity into a human stems from the fact that the spell in question uses a biological scan spell as a component to scan a member of the desired species to obtain a template that is used as the foundation. With Anon being the only human, he would be the one scanned.
The potential for a problem comes into play depending on how much the template takes from the scanned individual. If gender is a part of the information taken from the scan to create the template, then the spell would either turn Rarity into a human Elusive, or backfire in some way due to incompatibility.
If the idea is to turn Anon into a pony, then the potential problem actually stems from his lack of magic, specifically that there's nothing for the spell to latch onto at the time of casting to create a 'backup' of Anon's 'source code', to put magic terms into computer terms because programs.
Either way there's also the possibility that Anon lacking magic will cause the spell to either backfire or fizzle out the moment he is plugged into the equation.
10208288
Well, it doesn't matter. I'm scrapping the whole thing and starting over from scratch.
Dont listen to the "advice" in the comments. If these people actually knew best they would be writing their own stories that get featured.
You know what you are doing and what you are doing is writing a great story, Dont let the weird complaints of people cloud your judgement or make your turn this into yet another generic human in Equestria story.
10207621
Just imagine for a second how humans would react if there was an actual alien on living on Earth. People would be loosing their minds if the alien tried to date a human. People over react to things, This is a fact of life.
Remember we live on a planet where people would (and still do) Disown their children for dating someone with different coloured skin.
If you stop taking MLP for everything in the show and consider it from a realistic point of view its highly likely that racism would exist.
10206646
The trouble is. Anon came from our world. Not the Equestria girls world, He cant become a pony because he has no magic and he has no pony counterpart to turn into.
10209827
Thanks, dude. I really needed to hear that. Funny thing is, I've read stories like this one and yet I don't see so many complaints on those.
10208834
Oh come on man, you don't need to do that. The story is not un-salvageable. Just sit down for a bit and think about how it's going to play out moving forward. Sometimes you need to change your course and it can be frustrating but it's not the end of the world. Listen, it's a good story, and people are enjoying it a lot (myself included).
10209834
10209827
You know what man, I find it insulting that I took the time to write a concise and fair review of the chapter for the author, so he could improve his work (or not, it's up to him), and in one paragraph you're trying to write it all off as just "random complaints" that don't mean anything because I don't have a featured story? Seriously?
10209946
Well, it's difficult because I have an idea for what I want to do but I also want to be mindful of what people are telling me. How do I stay true to my vision while also giving my readers what they want?
And I hope you and mycarhasaMoustache play nicely. Not pointing fingers.
10210013
Easy, just write what you want and write a few buffer chapters. A mistake a lot of writers make, myself included, is that we think too much about what readers want and what they need. I, and presumably everyone else reading your story, came for your interpretation and your story, not ours. I can say a million things, like, "Oh, I want Rarity and her boyfriend to start a harem, and then they should get pregnant, and, and blah blah blah." This is your story, and as much as I enjoy reading harem fics, I'm not reading this story because, "Oh, I want X to do Y so Z can fuck W." I, and everyone else, is here for your story, not our fan fiction of your fan fiction. If you want to start from scratch, then that's your decision. Just remember, this is your baby. We can give you our ideas and advice for how to raise them, but you're the parent. Your word is law and most of us will accept that.
10210013
Honestly, you really can't stay true to your vision if you try to appease everyone. It just doesn't work because everyone is different. I'd say only listen to those who wish to help proofread your stories for missing words, wrong words, etc., and forget about what ideas others have for your story. YOU are the one who is writing it and imagining it; not them. Sometimes, you just have buck up and do what you want to do; in this case, write what you want to write. Best of luck to you.
10210096
Okay, that right there was inspiring. No joke.
10210105
Thanks a lot, Foxy! (If it's okay to call you that)
10210111
Just Fox is fine, but you're welcome
10210125
Groovy