- Member Since 10th Feb, 2014
- offline last seen 43 minutes ago
Muggonny
Use words wisly, for they are limited ~ Legacy [02:10]
Muggonny
Joined 10th Feb, 2014 ·
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Thank you for the submission (barely made it!) I look forward to reading it.
10197937
Get ready to be extremely confused. :)
And now an exert left on the doc this story was written on from our dear friend Ice Star. Ahem:
Fascinating, but you may have layered on the symbolism a bit too thick. The story doesn't so much jump between scenes as thrash, and it can be hard to tell what's actually going on at times. Thematically appropriate, but still disconcerting. And it's a very good thing I was reading this on a laptop rather than a device that wouldn't react as well to getting flipped upside down.
Still a thrilling read. Best of luck in the contest.
10198713
Good news is I wrote this all last minute and plan on going back and fixing the parts I didn't like. The reasons you listed are such. Thanks for reading!
what happened?
This turned out very nice. You had some great editors. The tone and atmosphere are set immediately and the wild pacing helped at times, especially when conveying how deranged Chrysalis was. The interwoven past and present was a good touch too.
You also got some good titles in the 'similar' section.
Dang. Nicely horrifying.
10198989
Don't you hate it when your comments don't get a response?
If Chrysalis died, does that mean Cozy Glow and Tirek died too?
10206069
Ehh yeah a bit
did you did you figured out what happened?
10206090
Sorry, I didn't respond because I don't think it's my duty explain the story. Although, I realize I can still give small pieces of information. I'll give you the basis: Ocellus gets possessed and the Young Six have to cure her with the help of Headmare Starlight. Everything else I wanted to leave up to interpretation. If you go through each scene, you will find many parallels to the previous that should help you put something together.
10206070
I like to think Chrysalis managed to release some of her power before turning into Stone and converting that into a free roaming spirit. That or some cult found her statue and performed a ritual that didn't go they way they expected. I like the vagueness of it. You're welcome to your own interpretation.
Your requested review
Please explain to me your usage of the word "crag" in this story. What "crag" exists in someone's mouth?
"Eht koob si a god! Eht ynop si ton!" I might've gotten it backwards, but what?
10570638
It's a misused word. I was thinking of how valleys part and used the wrong term.
Yes.
Thank you for reading this confusing mess of a story. :)
10570638
But yeah, anything you found confusing about this fic I did on purpose. It really could have been ironed out more, but this is what happens when you enter a story into a contest at literally the last minute.
10570660
I found basically the entire thing confusing. c.c
10570685
Lmao
Hehehe...I'm gonna be annoying and say that drones in a hive are usually male. Ocellus would technically be a little worker bee/ant/changeling.