This story is a rewritten version on the MLP G4 story. Where events will change, both minor and major.
Updates whenever chapters are finished
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 21st Apr, 2020
- offline last seen March 24th
Eevee932
A writer who writes for fun and improvement.
Eevee932
Joined 21st Apr, 2020 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- professor space n time · 58k words · 103 9 · 3.3k views
- Tim Ribbert · 40k words · 30 5 · 1.7k views
- Jahbraz · 7.5k words · 70 6 · 3.8k views
- Flammenwerfer · 149k words · 426 12 · 6.5k views
- Creative Delight · 15k words · 346 23 · 23k views
- GMBlackjack · 2.1m words · 563 47 · 15k views
- FanOfMostEverything · 4.1k words · 54 2 · 1.2k views
- Lets Do This · 28k words · 328 11 · 4.2k views
Featured In10
The Writers' Group56,384 stories ·9,291 members
- Adventures - AU1,445 stories ·776 members
I Just Want a Comment15,702 stories ·3,671 members
The Shameless Self-Promotion Bureau49,217 stories ·5,457 members
- AU's Are Gold: An Alternate Universe Fangroup2,475 stories ·974 members
Alternate Mane 6156 stories ·506 members
Rewriting My Little Pony: FiM118 stories ·190 members
Please Read My Story3,818 stories ·367 members
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.077 seconds
Total duration
652 users online
916,743 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
The rewritten part of the first two episodes of MLP FIM was a switch between the roles of the two sisters. I wished that there was more context on the role of Daybreaker in the scene; how would she be different from Nightmare Moon? Descriptions of the places are decent. With some changes, I believe that the rewritten edition would certainly be a better read.
Also welcome to the site!
My only critque is that, so far, it seems a bit too similar to the episodes, just with key words and phrases swapped. Perhaps, as the story continues, you can deviate from the originals more?
Shouldn't it be the prediction of Daybreaker
This will be nice
Great story so far, but one thing I noticed that should be changed.
It should say remember this night, not day.
10203181
I think they wrote that on purpose. Remember, in this version, Daybreaker was imprisoned on the SUN. Not the moon.
Did you mean: sunrise
Rainbow Dash is actually a stallion, what a surprise.
Ahem, ahem.
keep her back. Since when do the ponies change their genders?
stops her. Again, since when did Rainbow Dash change her gender?
This really doesn't do it for me, sorry. It's little more than FiM with a new coat of paint. I'd rather just rewatch the show than read a half-baked novelization.