Even Celestia could give up.
Shoutout to NotTheOP for fixing all my grammar mistakes! :D
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 1st May, 2012
- offline last seen Jun 7th, 2019
aKaPinkiePie
Stopped writing as of July 2013, it was a fun ride :)
aKaPinkiePie
Joined 1st May, 2012 ·
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That was a good start of a sad fic. More stuff could have been an option (Explaining what happened to Twilight etc.) But it's up to you.
First fic is the hard one. The next one you will write will be much better and bigger. So keep on writing and you shall be surprised.
I remember my first sad fic. And I could say that you have a future on the sad part of this place
And I am currently editing this story. So if you want some grammar fixes, let me know
Your writing style is good, although you could have made the whole thing longer, like expanding Celestia's struggle after the unexpected event... Still, it was nice. Sad, but nice.
1135958 1135966 I kinda fall off quickly and get a writers block if I write any longer :/ Anyways it was kind of supposed to be a bit mysterious and philosophical, which is why I did not really focus too much on what happened to Twilight. Thanks for the feedback I really appritiate it :)
Good story, but it ended too quickly for my likes. It could really have been awesome if it was longer. A thumbs up nonetheless.
So, I am done with the grammar fixes.
If you want me to send the edited version to you, tell me.
1136069 I would love too. Thanks a lot! :D
1136078
Is .txt ok?
1136082 Sure :)
1136085
Here you go
1136096 Thanks again! :D
1136109
No problem! I like helping n stuff
And it was not such a huge edit anyways. A few words here and there. A most welcome break of writing my story.
I'm being stalked? Paranoidmode activate!
1136120 I'll read your stories later, just had a lot of sad today so don't feel like adding more to it :)
1136138
You will get used to the sad in time
Reading later, eh? Prepare yourself, The tale of the Slenderman is getting a 11K-words sequel chapter because it got requested. It's ready and will be published whenever I have the time to stalk the possible readers and commentators for a couple of hours.
Interesting concept, but incomplete. Also, I have a lot of problems with Twilestia ships; Celestia's love would be better placed in the mother/daughter category. And you can be vague about Twilight's maiming, but there still needs to be a context for it. Had Celestia sent her to help establish the trade route (being the superior planner that she is)? If so, perhaps Celestia would feel responsible for her death, and allow herself to become fatalistic as a result.
There also needs to be more dialogue; perhaps Celestia has that philosophical discussion with Luna, but does not openly announce her intentions. The method of her suicide also relies a bit much on the Deus ex Machina trope--I think most of us here believe that although the sisters are practically immortal in that they have a longevity comparable to dragons, they can still be maimed and killed with sufficient force, but it is difficult as the alicorn in question will most likely draw upon her huge magic reserves to defend herself from force.
With your permission, might I take a crack at expanding this idea to give it a bit more depth?
1136172 Go ahead! Also, I kinda wanted this to be a short fic revolving around Celestia loosing what she cares for the most before even realising how much she cares for her. I also wanted to keep it very open so that people may write sidestories and sequels. I tend to get a writers block after 2000 words so I wanted to do a very short fic to se how it worked out :)
Also I don't know why but I like the thought of a ritual being the only way of killing the demi goddes. I hope this explains my thought proccess somewhat. I'm kinda exhausted after little sleep and school and stuff so I'm sorry about phrasing my self horribly and explaining in weird ways. Gah I'm even rambling now.
Anyways feel free to expand the idea and bring more depth! :D
1136207
Thanks! I'll be sure to give you credit when I get around to writing it.
1136232 Remember to PM me so I can put up a link to it :D
1136256 Alrighty! How about you leave a comment on my page so I'll remember? =3
Was I the only one getting a serious Shakespearean vibe from this whole story?
1137773 It seems so for now :P
Hnnnng!!
Right in the feels
This...wow. Short, but a masterpiece!
Now, I can see you have a long journey ahead of you. So do I, so if you don't mind, could you check out my only story, and see what should be done? 
I tend to rush through, so please forgive 
1149601 I would love to read it, but I'm not sure if I'm able to give you any decent feedback. My self I just write without thinking about the elements of my writing. I will read it tomorow or next week. Kinda got a lot of stuff to do this weekend :(
1151029
I'm okay with this! Just no cussing, I for one do not like that.
1151038 Yeah I keep it proffesionally, I just meant like. I have no idea what elements of writing I use and stuff when i write xD
1151079 lol
>Moar detail to the story.
I personally enjoyed it. A small explanation and a nice cliffhanger that can be continued into a nice side story(?).
If I could, I'd give this another thumbs-up and fave.
The Pinkie Pie thing made me sad.
1162404 I guess I achieved my goal then :) I have no plans on writinng a sequel, but who knows might just happen some time :) Thanks for the feedback :D
1162411 Yeah, I realised that the side story lacked a bit sad so I added the Pinkie thing just for that. Glad it worked :)
Overall not bad for your first try.
Although Luna turning evil does kinda come out of left field
ummm how could Pinkie kno-,,,'gets hauled off in a black van'
1172276 You should know better than trying to understand Pinkiology xD
If you made a sequel I would read it, this was really good!
I got a really complete feeling from this. I should also add that I think the Pinkie Pie conclusion really added a sense of dread. It was like you were confirming what the reader already knew, that this story ended in Twilights death.
1178819 Thanks for the feedback! I'm not going to be writing a sequel to it due to the fact that I loose inspiration after about 1000 words. A sequel would require A LOT more xD Maybe someone else will some time? Who knows :)
1197934 D'awww I'm sorry :( Does it help that I'm working on a happy Twilestia ship? :)
1198297it helps a lot
but this story is still realy sad
thank you
1199844 I guess I achieved what I wanted then :)
Aaand my day's ruined.
1774957 I'm sorry for ruining your day?
1775006
Sorry won't do it! I want you to buy me lots of sugary things, stat! Candy, and lots of it!
1775008 I'm sick, can't go to the store :/ Anyways mind giving me a heads up on how I ruined your day?
1775192
Well, Celestia offing herself did. And the plot twist of NM still being around was surprising.
1775197 Guess this fic ain't for everyone, I did leave a pretty fair warning in description though. I myself can't stand reading fics like these, but I was in a bad state when I wrote it.
1775229
Ah. That explains it, then. I could never bring myself to write anything like that, though.
This is horrible. You just killed two of my favourite ponies using the third. Definitely NOT my thing. Almost as bad as Faithful.
1827623 It's not a fic for everybody indeed
this was an interesting strorie.
1775229
I wanted to ask whether I could write a one-shot based off this. Kind of a happy ending thing that I've had in my mind for a while.
2088226 I would be honored :)