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Dymonds - Part 2

Rarity, the unicorn, looked at her human self, somewhat surprised by the question. She supposed there was nothing wrong with answering it, though. "We're friends," she said. "Good friends. From what I've been told, she's not too different from your Applejack. Honest, hard working, a little too stubborn at times. She's older than yours is, though. Perhaps a little more mature, but that's just a matter of age."

"Good friends, huh?" Rarity, the human, again seemed to be staring off into nothing. "Just friends." Her voice went down to almost a whisper, then she gave a dry chuckle. "I wish we could have stayed that way." She looked at her bottle, then chuckled again, and then sighed. "No. Of course I don't." There was a tremor in her frame, and she looked stuck at the edge of crying.

The pony looked at her for a few seconds, and then she knocked her knuckles on the table. Just once, not too loudly, but firmly, enough to draw the other's attention. "Rarity," she said to a more dishevelled mirror of herself, "drop the act."

That almost made the human Rarity smile, before that ghost of a grin crumbled away. "It's the only fun I have left," she softly said. "I don't taste ice-cream well when I'm drunk, and I can't follow a plot along well enough for reading or dramas." Something wet came down the corner of her left eye, but it wasn't enough to be called a tear, and didn't make it past her cheek. There was no makeup for it to smudge, anyway. But after that she straightened herself a little.

"Consider dropping it permanently," the unicorn said then. "It's not a solution, but it's a start."

"Give me a reason." The human Rarity drummed her fingers against the liquor bottle, half staring at the other Rarity and half staring at her memories.

"Your friends are worried about you, and acting half to a third drunker than you are will only make them worry even more."

"That's true. Such good friends I have." Rarity, again, almost smirked. She settled on a more somber expression instead. Still drumming her fingers, she continued, "Give me a good enough reason."

"Sweetie is still living with you."

That actually got Rarity's fingers to stop. "I'd hope she would have learned by now I'm not a good role model." She pulled her hand away from the bottle, and focused on her empty glass. "What do you expect me to do?"

Rarity, the pony, knew what she wanted to say. She still had to push past the lump in her throat to do so. "Live with it. Stop ruining your life because of it."

"It's easy for you. When this is done you'll just go back to your magical pony land, where you're rich and famous and everyone loves you, with no pieces of a shattered heart to stare at. It's not your pain we're talking about."

"I'm not going anywhere while you're like this," Rarity replied. It wasn't pretty, looking at what the other her looked like, and she wondered if she'd ever look like that herself one day. "You're neither an idiot nor drunk enough to act like one. Just acknowledge it's wrong. It's a place to start."

"It's not fair." Rarity was still shaking, and she'd actually started to cry. "I'm not used to pretending with myself too."

The other Rarity stayed silent, waiting to see what else would come.

After a few seconds, Rarity managed to calm herself. "Have you ever loved?" she asked.

"I've believed I had," the other Rarity answered. "I've always known I hadn't. Not as you did."

"I've never stopped," the human replied. "It's a lot like getting stabbed. After it happens, the shock makes the initial period hurt the least." She looked at the chipped painting on her nails, without really seeing them. "Then that runs out, and you realise the wound is still open."

"You can't wait for it to close," the unicorn said. Though her tone was far less firm than her words, something not lost on her other self. "What if it never does? You can't continue like this."

Rarity's eyes were wide and lucid, staring at an unspecified corner of the floor. "I've got nothing to hate," she said. "I think that's the worst part."

The other Rarity opened her mouth, then closed it. Finally she steadied herself and asked, "Why did she leave you?"

"I know it," the human Rarity replied, "but I don't understand it. I don't think it would help if I told you. We just... ended." She was crying again, if only a little. "No more we." She turned towards the other. "What am I supposed to do?"

Leaning forward, mustering her most compassionate expression, Rarity repeated, "Live with it." She stretched a hand forward, on the table.

"I don't want to," the Rarity of that world said, taking her more presentable double's hand. "I want something I can't have, and I can't be happy. The only other thing I can be is numb."

"You're acting it up again," said the pony. "I've already told you it doesn't work with me. And you're a bad actress when you're drunk."

"I'm a bad actress when I'm sober too," Rarity said. "I hog up the scene and I overact. I'm an average student and an okay keyboard player and a mildly talented fashionista with aspirations no different from those any other girl in the field has, and I guess I'm a local superhero by chance and interdimensional predestination more than merit. And I was happy. Now I'm all that, and I don't have the only thing I would have given it all away for. It's only fair I stick to my words."

"It's not fair to the rest of the world," said Rarity. "And it's not fair to yourself." She bit her lower lip for a moment. She considered bringing up Applejack, and what she might think. She thought better of it. Instead she just held her other self's hand, and looked her in the eyes. "You can get better. You can be helped. And I'm here for that, right now. I'm not going anywhere. I can make you some tea if you want."

"Water," Rarity replied. "Just water for now. I need it." She looked at her other self, like seeing her for the first time. "I used to look nice," she whispered.

"You'll look nice tomorrow. After a good night of sleep," Rarity replied. "Trust yourself."

For a brief second, Rarity did actually smile. "I guess I should. She's supposed to know me well." Then she bent forward, and cried.

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