- Member Since 20th Jun, 2016
- offline last seen Yesterday
DarkHooves
I'm still here; I watch you play. But I can't think of much to say.
DarkHooves
Joined 20th Jun, 2016 ·
Offline
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I'll read this later, but you get an up-vote just for the Um Jammer Lammy song.
wow that was great,
you have a good base for a series my friend
, I wonder how the others let loose their frustrations
, and let's not forget our hero ?, what happened to the projects he is doing?
Why did he run away? Was there a wanted for his head?
Why isn't there a sad/tragedy tag?
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What's the Um Jammer Lammy song?
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The link in the summary. Keep your head up
See now I feel like there’s a prequel out there I just need to read
Why is this not liked, I thought it was good. Damn people
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Consume
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You're right. Should have added it. Fixed!
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Ehh. It collapsed about 3 years ago. Some of it was good but most of it was cliched crap.
I salvaged this to submit for the contest, though I may decide to salvage more.
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Want me to tell you?
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It’s probably because for some people, including me, Anon isn’t really a character so it’s a bit of a cop out, especially when if the stories going for more of a serious tone.
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Maybe it was more of a positive spin might do the story some good like our heroes more about freelove then a locked down relationship like most people or like he still cares for all of them but oblivious to their anger may be in his silly mind he thought they were like a herd like what actual ponies do and sadly he’s in the wrong universe well that doesn’t happen or maybe he was just so skilled and so cunning that he knew this would happen they could not live without him and that’s what he wanted to bring them all in they all could be his slutty slutty ponies just his .Just to satisfy his dragon like greed His so-called project is trying to get with the other princesses to add them to his collection He’s just that good at sex he fucks them into submission with his amazing abilities ,maybe he succeeded maybe he failed it’s your story so whether he’s he’s a good guy or a bad guy when he wins or loses it’s all up to you.
This need a whole pre-quel and sequel, you are living us all imagining a story, and we are left empty T.T.
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, leaving your readers in the mystery of what will happen in the next chapter or sequel
, although I will be anxious to know the continuation
. In any case I will be aware of the posts, keep up the good work and do not forget that the force is with you.
Nah!, that is the beauty of being a writer
This story leaves more questions than answers.
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Never considered that. Though from my perspective, I think the same thing but in reverse and rather just use Anon than a random name like Benny.
Then again, in the story I wrote, the characters name was literaly Anon (or rather, he had amnesia and settled to being called that cliché) so...
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Right, see it might have worked with contest but as is it looses it a bit
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Oh well!
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/06c776e7-09e4-4baa-b4c9-69c03c3856af/d58dvr1-8537b568-ec5b-4944-b935-1c581a269659.png/v1/fill/w_900,h_720,q_80,strp/derpy_moment_marines_by_firstawesomeplatoon_d58dvr1-fullview.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9NzIwIiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvMDZjNzc2ZTctMDllNC00YmFhLWI0YzktNjljMDNjMzg1NmFmXC9kNThkdnIxLTg1MzdiNTY4LWVjNWItNDk0NC1iOTM1LTFjNTgxYTI2OTY1OS5wbmciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9OTAwIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmltYWdlLm9wZXJhdGlvbnMiXX0.PZ545GIziieaCTZ-HWpB8B4qe55YXaIDFU8e00FV9gs
10198803
Exactly, best thing it to do
wompampsupport.azureedge.net/fetchimage?siteId=7575&v=2&jpgQuality=100&width=700&url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.kym-cdn.com%2Fentries%2Ficons%2Ffacebook%2F000%2F023%2F987%2Fovercome.jpg
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Yo everypone!
Due to an unforseen accident, by which I mean I didn't read the rules of the contest properly, I will change the story to remove all mention of Anon and make that character completely unknown, which honestly, it should have been from the beginning...
But it is what it is!
Tomorrow, this chapter will be unpublished and a new one will take it's place. No idea if it scrubbs the comments. If so, I apologise in advance. This chapter will get republished as the OG version after the contest concludes.
In the meantime, thanks for reading and keep keeping your heads up!
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cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/490113720240963600/704517198273839154/mod_car_2.png
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Great clopfic considering the short length and that it's only about masturbation!
-
She pulled her blanked over her-- blanket.-Very mysterious about who 'he' is. (But since it could arguably be any male character from the show, it’s still a valid contest entry.)
-
Every time she did this she was forced to buy new sheets to avoid the smell.-- um... What about washing? Or putting a towel down before starting?-Wish it hadn't cut out in the end -- plenty of word count left to show her having fun with that bed post. And the story really does seem to fade out before it's truly resolved.
------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 80/100
Allure: 76/100
Enticement: 70/100
Immersion: 90/100
Prose Quality: 85/100
Total Score: 401/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!
there will be a sequel to this story?
10426048
I would say no.
The series of stories this was taken from was never finished and probably never will (or should) be. That said, there are other stories from the same source I feel would be good enought to publish separetly, but they would be too loosely related to this one to be concidered sequels.
The big problem being that I don't feel like writing on them right now =/
10426048
Allthough, after you asked, I did look through the source again and found a scene that's good enough to be finished and would make a prequel of sorts...
Basically, Twilight hids in Anon's closet while he fucks Applejack and after she passes out from the pleasure, he makes Twilight eat her out.
Maybe if I wake up horny enough I'll finish it.
fair enough.
This feels like someone trying to deal with sexual addiction.