• Member Since 5th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Mr-Astounding


other accounts: fanfiction: mrastounding; deviantart: Mr-Astounding; wattpad: trueheroic

T

Twilight Sparkle never thought she'd see the day: the day that her mentor, Princess Celestia, would fall to the dark side...but now it's here. Now, she must call upon allies both from her reality and that of another to fight under the banner of the only pony who up until now had been able to challenge her: Princess Luna herself. It's about the only way she'd be able to help her now...

Takes place before Season 7; inspired by "Injustice: Gods Among Us"

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 110 )

Where's Spike disappeared off to?

WHOA. I have to say this is a really nerve-wracking start (justifiably so concerning what this AU is based on). Anyway, really good job on the action and future chapter set-up in all the right places as well as the modified continuity nods. Though I have to admit, I DO like the stuff about Twi already showing bits of "late final season character development" considering the canon cut-off point is before Season 7.

Yeah, it's clear that Twilight is in the Batman role, Celestia is in the Superman role, Sombra is in the Joker role and Blueblood is in the Luthor role (and I do like the modifications used to make the story make more sense).

On to the next chapter.

10190907
Most likely either The Dragon Lands with Ember or Griffonstone with Gabby. I'm basically trusting that the mess came down while Spike was away in one of the two and there was simply no time to let him know (and Twilight would, at least, be relieved that he's safely out of the range of the crystal bomb anyway).

10191110
I sincerely hope that he isn't sidelined entirely, I like the guy

All I can say is really good job on this latest chapter. Again, the action and future chapter set-up is all well done in all the right places. Again, I have to say that I am really enjoying this spin on the first "Injustice" game. And, yeah, Twilight IS doing a good job as the Batman in this story. Pretty much the only two things I don't like so far are that Spike wasn't even mentioned yet (at the very least, I would expect Twilight to say something like being glad Spike is either safely in the Dragon Lands visiting Ember or safely in Griffonstone visiting Gabby [depending on your preference]) and Blueblood's Adaptational Villainy getting over-used (yeah, he's a jerk, but not THAT BIG a jerk). But the fight scenes, not just with Twilight, but the other heroes present are pretty well done. I especially enjoyed Diamond and Silver wondering aloud if they are supposed to be the ones protecting Flurry Heart or the other way around.

Okay, it's pretty easy to figure out that Lightning Dust is in the role of Deathstroke, Tirek is in the role of Doomsday, the Diamond Dogs are sharing the role of Solomon Grundy and Starlight and Rainbow are probably in the roles of Green Arrow and Flash respectively. Beyond that, I'm not going to guess.

At any rate, I will very definitely be looking forward to more of this.

10191114
Yeah, I like Spike too. But considering the way the actual game went, it's better to have him side-lined completely (though at least mentioned) then to be in just to get his tail kicked a few times at best. You have to admit, THAT would be EVEN WORSE.

Comment posted by Starlight Nova deleted Apr 20th, 2020

10191122
I'm glad you're liking my story thus far; yeah, using Blueblood as Lex Luthor was a bit of a cop-out on my part, I admit it, but there weren't a whole lot of other ponies that fit the role quite right, you know? as to the roles everypony will be, please keep in mind that I don't intend for this to be a copy-and-paste of the video game's plot; no spoilers as to how, but some ponies will show up performing roles that weren't even touched upon in the game if for no other reason then said roles could only be achieved within the world of MLP 😉

Comment posted by Mr-Astounding deleted Apr 20th, 2020

Excellent job on this latest chapter. The action, exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. I especially loved the justification for Spike's absence in this story, the tricks Main Rarity used to hang tough against more powerful opponents as well as Disharmony-verse Lightning Dust helping Rarity in the fight with Chrysalis (and admitting to a fair number of regrets). The timely appearance of the Disharmony-verse Pinkie and Twilight were quite well done too.

Some possible dialogue ideas for later on:

Disharmony-verse Twilight: They're not evil. At least MOST of them aren't. Yes, Chrysalis definitely is, but most of them are either following Celestia out of fear or because they are convinced that she is right. To be fair, until a little over five years ago, *I* would have been convinced she was right too.

Your choice of characters from the main universe: So? What's with the pill? That fight with Chrysalis gave you a headache?

Main Rainbow: Yeah, but this isn't JUST for THAT. THIS pill is to try to PREVENT ANOTHER headache. This universe's Twilight can give you the formula if you can understand the egghead speak. I guess some things are just the same the multiverse over.

Disharmony-verse Twilight: You have no idea how much I actually missed that kind of talk, Rainbow. Anyway, to put it in Laypony's Terms, it's a power enhancer formula created by Celestia's forces. Grants a temporary, but considerable increase in a pony's natural physical or magical abilities, including strength and durability.

Anyway, definitely looking forward to more of this.

REALLY good job on the interlude chapter. The exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all beautifully done. LOVED the show of the effort in finding a way to find the Mane Six, Ember and Sci-Twi and the stuff with the Crusaders and Diamond all being reassuring of each other was quite heart-warming. Celestia's reflection on her past mistakes with Luna and Sunset was also well done as was Luna's reflection on how much worse it could have been.

Anyway, on to the next chapter.

Sorry I took so long. I got called to lunch and then got in some post-lunch exercise. Anyway, again, you did a great job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I DID appreciate that loving tribute to the alternate Spike and, as you pointed out, I'm glad you are working in obvious differences to this story from the actual game. I especially liked the alternate Strongheart helping out Ember against her Disharmony-verse counterpart as well as Rainbow's scene with the alternate Soarin' and the daughter he had with her late counterpart, Lunar Twilight's chat concerning the whereabouts of the Disharmony-verse Sunset. Celestia and the alternate Applejack's comments about family were a good touch too. And, yeah, I have to admit the stuff about the alternate Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom IS pretty rough (as well as making Luna's guess in the earlier chapter VERY accurate).

Some possible dialogue ideas for later chapters:

Disharmony-verse Fluttershy: You know, I have to admit that sometimes I DO think we might be taking things too far. But then, Celestia makes a good point. What if what happened to Luna happened to Zephyr and my parents? Yes, Zephyr gets on my nerves A LOT, but I still don't dislike him enough to want him dead - or even seriously hurt.

**********


Disharmony-verse Lightning Dust: (to Scootaloo after defeating her) Sorry about that, kiddo. You aren't a bad filly; just fighting for the wrong side. I can see why Rainbow held you in such high regard, though.

**********

Disharmony-verse Celestia: If they prefer chaos, then we'll give them chaos - and NOT the mostly harmless variety Discord likes either.



************

Disharmony-verse Fluttershy: Scootaloo wasn't a criminal. She was a good friend of your sister AND Apple Bloom's. Her only quote-unquote offense was having the courage to speak out when Celestia suggested destroying two entire cities AND declaring war on another universe just because she got slightly humiliated.




***************

Disharmony-verse Fluttershy: Come on, Rainbow. You know I can match your speed if I'm properly motivated - maybe not exceed it, but match it.


************

Main Twilight: As much as I WANT to go home; in no small part because fighting a corrupted version of the pony I admire the most IS my worst nightmare come to life; It wouldn't feel right abandoning all of you at such a dire time. But we are going to need more help and there are only two ponies I know powerful enough to fight against an evil Celestia on equal hoofing.

***************

Disharmony-verse Twilight: No, Celestia (off the main Celestia's look). I meant MY universe's Celestia. I'm not going to kill you. Unlike you, I only kill when I have absolutely no other options. Besides, too many beings of too many different species have already died because of this war. No, you are going to be spending the rest of your extremely long life in Tartarus.

Disharmony-verse Celestia: And just how do YOU have the authority to decide that punishment? Your Princess privileges have been revoked years ago. And what's to keep me from escaping? After all, Tirek escaped more than once and that was when he had far less power than I do.

********

Sorry about that. Got a bit carried away.

Anyway, VERY certainly looking forward to more of this.

Out of sheer curiosity, How did Rainbow and Spike die?

Excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I especially liked BOTH Pinkies still working in a bit of humor in this chapter (and even making some good points while doing so), the reason Disharmony-verse Pinkie has shadow control powers as well as Main Twilight's scene with the Disharmony-verse versions of Rarity, Applejack and Celestia (particularly the sarcasm aimed at Disharmony-verse Applejack and her defiance to Disharmony-verse Celestia), and the main counterparts of FOUR of the Mane Six with Disharmony-verse Pinkie as Disharmony-verse Twilight's group captured Sombra.

On to the next chapter.

10196671
I'm not sure about Spike, but I'm pretty sure Rainbow died in an accident that was indirectly caused by Celestia (given how Green Arrow died in an accident caused by Superman [it was pretty early in his Start of Darkness] in the comics set in the Injustice universe). Spike probably died in an accident too, but I'm not sure if the accident was caused by Celestia or Pharnyx.

10196762
That was my guess for Rainbow, was unsure about Spike

10196762 10196790
I've got plans to reveal exactly how Rainbow died in the Disharmony-verse, but as to Spike, remember back in Rarity's chapter that if they had waited even a few days to send Twilight's number one assistant out to the Dragon Lands for diplomatic reasons that he might well have been right inside the city when the attack happened? And how in Ember's chapter it was implied that they all wished the diplomatic relations had been set up even a few days earlier? Just let that all sink in for a little while...

REALLY good job on the characterizations, exchanges and future chapter set-up in this interlude chapter. I particularly liked Main Pinkie's desire to go over and give her counterpart a hug and the wondering by the others if that universe could handle TWO Pinkie Pies as well as the discussion between the Disharmony-verse Blueblood and Lightning Dust (particularly Blueblood's discussion of the unicorns getting ready to take back control of the sun and moon after Celestia is taken care of and Lightning Dust's reflection of her universe's Rainbow Dash and her reason for trying to solo it for a while.

For possible future dialogue ideas:




Main Rainbow: Spike stood up for you. Starlight taught you a better way. Neither of them would want you to do this.

Disharmony-verse Pharnyx: I'm not Thorax.

Disharmony-verse Twilight: This is Pharnyx, Chrysalis's most loyal soldier and Thorax's sorely misguided brother.

Disharmony-verse Pharnyx: It was my brother that was sorely misguided. He would have made the Changelings too soft to properly defend themselves with what Spike and Starlight taught him. Celestia and Chrysalis know the best way.

Disharmony-verse Twilight: You lost all my compassion when you killed Spike. Thorax was YOUR brother, but Spike was MINE.


********

Main Sunset: Well, Starlight, Sunburst and I have mostly finished with our efforts to create another portal. The downside is, that the required energy output is immense and will require both me AND Starlight to stay here to provide the power.

Main Pinkie: Maybe *I* can help. I've been told I have more energy than almost anybody else alive, with the exception of Cheese Sandwich. Time to put that to the test. Just strap me to a treadmill and make with the magic and calculations.


**********

Disharmony-verse Blueblood: (to Main Sombra after defeating the latter) While I definitely think my aunt went completely too far on MOST things, I WILL VERY grudgingly admit that she had the right idea with YOUR counterpart.

*********

Main Celestia: (immediately after her Disharmony-verse counterpart makes the comment about how they plan to hold her) I can answer THAT, courtesy of a spell Luna, Cadance and I once used to temporarily transfer our combined power to our universe's Twilight. I can use that spell again - only this time to transfer YOUR power to your universe's Twilight - permanently. At the very least, you will be left too weak to EASILY escape.

*********

Disharmony-verse Twilight (to Main Celestia): Bit for your thoughts?

Main Celestia: Yes. Though I am pleased with the hard-earned victory against my counterpart and her forces, I am still left worried. I already knew I wasn't perfect even before this, but this version of me was pretty much all my biggest flaws amplified. Still, I have to wonder, if I was ever pushed too far, I might have gone that far astray too.

Disharmony-verse Twilight: In other words, you're hoping you don't go bad too, but fearing that you might under the right - or should I say wrong - circumstances? I know what you mean. I've come close to crossing more lines than I'm comfortable with admitting myself. And with the power I had even BEFORE you transferred your counterpart's power to me, those types of slips can be disastrous. It IS an extremely thin line we have to walk. But for what it's worth?

Main Celestia: Yes?

Disharmony-verse Twilight: If you ever DO lose control, I'll come to help my counterpart and her friends stop you.

Main Celestia: I wouldn't have it any other way.

**************

And, again, I got overeager and apologize for that.

At any rate, I'll very definitely be looking forward to more of this.

10196833
Gotcha. Now I get it. And now I regret at least one of my possible dialogue ideas in my most recent review.

10196847 10196849
saw the dialogue in question, and actually, I think I can still work that in somehow; have it that officially he died in Canterlot, but that wasn't what really happened, you know? no spoilers as to how I'll go about doing it, though 😉

10196907
More than fair enough.

REALLY good job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I especially enjoyed, Soarin' and Rainbow's interactions (with Rainbow's friends lampshading the interactions with a friendly wager), the reason this universe's Twilight brought in Ember as well as the Main versions of most of the Mane Six, the semi-sentimental touch of keeping the weapon hidden in Spike's old throne, in addition to Pinkie's humorous aside during Rainbow's fight with the Flim-Flam Brothers and Rainbow's Mama Bear moment when Garble went after Storm Chaser.


Another few bits of possible dialogue:

Disharmony-verse Fluttershy: (to Chrysalis) In this case, the mistake I made was NOT realizing Twilight was right YEARS sooner.


*************************

Disharmony-verse Twilight (to Disharmony-verse Fluttershy, as the latter is warning her of Celestia's planned attack): This time, it IS completely accurate, Fluttershy. It is good to have you back.


****************************

Disharmony-verse Twilight (to main Celestia): I know I've been saying this a lot today, but it is never any less valid. I realize it is not completely accurate, but it is good to have you back.





*********************

Main Celestia: (telekinetically catching multiple large thrown objects before they can hit any innocents and lowers them safely to the ground) Please, Garble. I LITERALLY move THE SUN on a twice a day basis. You think I can't handle a few boulders? And speaking of the Sun, I think that would be enough heat to override even a dragon's fire resistance (fires off a fairly powerful heat blast at Garble).


********************


Main Celestia (to Disharmony-verse Chrysalis): I'm not taking any chances with you (hits her with a sleeping spell). By the time you wake up from that, you'll be in heavy duty chains and wearing a high-grade horn ring. And Rarity, I am politely asking you to surrender peacefully. You know you can't win against me.




*****************


Main Celestia: (after defeating the Disharmony-verse Tirek) Lord Tirek, you just got crowned.


*****************

At an appropriate point following the defeat of Disharmony-verse Celestia:

Main Rainbow (to Disharmony-verse Fluttershy): I feel bad about you turning yourself in.

Disharmony-verse Fluttershy: I'm not too thrilled about it either, but we DID do A LOT of bad things that we NEED to answer for.

Main Rainbow: Well, I'm pretty sure, considering your genuine remorse, the fact you DID help save the day and the fact that you got quite a few reliable folks willing to vouch for you, that you'll get a much lighter sentence than most of the others.


*************

Of course, I can completely understand why you might dislike these.

I'll most certainly be looking forward to more of this, at any rate.

Excellent job on this latest chapter. The exchanges, characterizations, action (in the flashback) and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. In addition to the check-up on the Main Universe, I LOVED seeing the other Rainbow taking the blast for that universe's Lightning Dust, telling off Celestia in the process and STILL having JUST enough left in the tank to sacrifice herself to help out against the Ursa. And then Main Rainbow pointing out how Lightning had a lot more loyalty in her than she realized.

Anyway, I have a couple of more possible dialogue ideas:

*******

Disharmony-verse Twilight: Celestia, Listen. I know how it feels. I've lost family and friends to evil magic too -

Disharmony-verse Celestia: BUT YOU WEREN'T THE TRIGGER!


***********

Somebody from the Main universe (your choice which one): Whoa. Blueblood willing to sacrifice himself to save Twilight. Never thought I would see the day. EVEN in another universe.



*************

At an appropriate point after Disharmony-verse Celestia's defeat:

Main Twilight: So, I suppose with the evidence Lightning Dust and Soarin' shared and your Celestia defeated, your Princess Privileges have been officially reinstated?

Disharmony-verse Twilight: Only temporarily. I only plan to stay on the throne until the repairs to Equestria have been completed and a democratically elected council comprised of equal parts unicorns, pegasi and Earth ponies has been firmly established.

Main Twilight: So, being ruler of Equestria a little TOO MUCH responsibility for you?

Disharmony-verse Twilight: Yes, and I have no trouble admitting it. Oh, I plan to use my power (including the power your Celestia transferred from MY Celestia to me) to raise and lower the Sun (though I'll leave the moon to the unicorns; no sense letting all the hard work of Starlight and Trixie's trainees go to waste) as well as handle the villains and monsters too dangerous for the normal military. But I'm not up to ruling Equestria long term - ESPECIALLY not with Spike and Rainbow dead and the rest of my closest friends in prison. Back when Celestia and Luna first hit the scene, they actually WEREN'T Equestria's rulers; just its PROTECTORS. In the first few years, it was THAT simple. It NEEDS to be that simple AGAIN.


At any rate, I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this.

REALLY good job on this latest chapter. The exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. I especially liked the clever tricks Main Sunburst used to beat more powerful opponents and especially refusing the enhancement pills because of the addictive side effects. And downright mocking his counterpart with well-aimed points was beautiful stuff. The bit with the alternate Lightning and Starlight was a good touch too. The bits of humor worked in were quite welcome as well (INCLUDING the "Take That" to the infamous story "Cupcakes").


Another possibility for the epilogue:

***************

Main Celestia: Well, I suppose we COULD stick around for a few days. At the very least long enough to give you a fair chance to get used to my counterpart's power before I leave.

Disharmony-verse Twilight: That's certainly both wise AND fair.

Disharmony-verse Spike (ghost, but with her Celestia's power added to her own, Twilight's magic is now strong enough for her to see and hear him without him having to possess a body): There are no words in any language big enough to describe how proud I am of you, big sis.

Disharmony-verse Twilight: Spike?! After all these years?

Disharmony-verse Spike: Yeah. Like you told the other versions of our old friends, even dead, I'm still your number one assistant.

Disharmony-verse Twilight: That you are, Spike. That you are.

Main Celestia: Well, I suppose sun-moving lessons can wait for a couple of hours. I'll let you two have this reunion.

(Sorry, couldn't resist the little nod to Dick Grayson taking the role of Deadman in the Injustice Comics and use it to include a little extra-sweet in the bittersweet)

At any rate, very certainly looking forward to more of this.

Again, wonderful job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I especially liked the little differences (such as the Changelings being behind the sabotage in Cloudsdale, Disharmony-verse versions of Scootaloo and Fluttershy actually helping Lightning, Starlight and Sunburst in the evacuation after the Changelings' scheme was revealed [with Lightning reflecting on the fact that she said something pretty similar to what Rainbow said the night SHE died], plus the Flim-Flams resorting to using Apple Bloom as a hostage [along with the point out that Apple Bloom SHOULD have been removed from that healing bubble MUCH SOONER] and Rarity switching sides WELL BEFORE the "Injustice 2" based story).


VERY definitely looking forward to more of this.

Excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I especially liked Main Spike's brief appearance and getting briefed on the situation, plus Disharmony-verse Twilight's reflections during her fights. And, yeah, all the back-up that appeared for the rescue mission was a beautiful touch too, especially with the little foreshadowing to this universe's answer to "Shadow Play" and the acknowledgement of the need to check for mind-tampering after the war is over.




A possible bit of dialogue:

Disharmony-verse Discord: As I admitted to Ember before, I like CHAOS, not large-scale murder. That is a line I've ALWAYS drawn, even BEFORE I befriended Fluttershy. Admittedly, it was because, if I made a habit of killing my enemies/playmates, I would eventually run out of beings to mess with, but still.


******************************

Now, I have a possible scene for the epilogue:

Disharmony-verse Twilight: At long last, this war that should have never happened is over. Though there is still much to do and many beings of many different species that need help, it's still a step in the right direction.

Disharmony-verse Sweetie Belle: Well, Shining and Cadance send their thanks for the needed supplies getting through, but the Crystal Empire is now under attack by the forces of a new menace; some wiseacre calling himself the Storm King.

Disharmony-verse Twilight: It will be a while before any help can arrive, but we will get it there as soon as possible.

Disharmony-verse Sweetie Belle: Your brother says the offer is appreciated, but NOT needed. Shining already has a force field around the entire Crystal Empire and the odds of it lasting long enough for the Storm King's forces to run out of steam are quite good. He just sent the report to explain why he and the rest of the Crystal Guard might be a while to help out with the rescue, recovery and repairs.

Disharmony-verse Twilight: And Pinkie is DEFINITELY going to need help with what the other Sombra put her through and there is only one pony who can keep up with her.

Disharmony-verse Sweetie Belle: Already ahead of you there, Twi. I took the liberty of sending a message asking Cheese Sandwich to help Pinkie through her recovery.

Disharmony-verse Twilight: Still can't resist playing matchmaker, can you, Sweetie?

Disharmony-verse Sweetie Belle: Well, I need SOMETHING to help me through the grieving process considering what happened to Scootaloo.

VERY definitely looking forward to more of this.

Are the events of Injustice 2 going to be added?

10206701
...I haven't really made any plans on a sequel just yet...in no small part because there aren't a whole lot of cast members of the show could even come close to being able to effectively play the role of Brainiac, though you'll know if I end up changing my mind 😉

10206704
Yeah. I can understand that.

Of course, you COULD use Grogar (as in the REAL Grogar [I personally think the writers SERIOUSLY dropped the ball with the "Discord in disguise" nonsense in the series finale]) as Brainiac (using an army of enhanced zombies under his absolute control to serve as Brainiac's robot army). I could DEFINITELY see Grogar being powerful enough to require the combined efforts of the Element Bearers, the Pillars, most of the other heroes AND a fair number of the more pragmatic villains to handle.


The Storm King could make an excellent Grodd, though. With Tempest Shadow as Deadshot, the Dazzlings all sharing the role of Poison Ivy (though with Adagio, of course, as main), Iron Will as Captain Cold (he could have lost family and friends who got caught in the crossfire of one of the Solar Empire's fights, which would make for a MUCH more sympathetic Took A Level In Jerk [I know that isn't the full correct Trope Name, but I try very hard not to swear on public forums] than he got between "Putting Your Hoof Down" and "Once Upon A Zeppelin" in canon), Cozy Glow as the Cheetah and Catrina (a retooled G1 villain) as the Scarecrow.


For the new heroes, Starswirl would be an insultingly obvious pick for the role of Doctor Fate, either Mage Meadowbrook or Mistmane (your choice which one) could make a good Swamp Thing, Ocellus might make an excellent Blue Beetle, Silverstream could be in the role of Firestorm (with Starlight using telepathy to provide the role of Professor Stein) and (a ten-year-old) Flurry Heart and Smolder could share the role of Supergirl (Flurry being on her Aunt Twilight's side from the start, but I could see Garble tricking his little sister into helping the remains of Celestia's forces at first).

And, I could definitely see a by-that-point adult Rainbow Dash from one of the "Equestria Girls" universes showing up to not only help Soarin' take care of Storm Chaser (Celestia has been in prison for five years, all the Equestrian refugees except for the Dazzlings have been firmly accounted for [most of them helped out and living fairly comfortable, peaceful and law-abiding lives, but the very few actually nasty and irredeemable ones DID get sent to super-maximum-security prison] and she graduated from college two years ago) but also deliver human-world technological supplies to Equestria to help out those that have disadvantages in the magic department (or, in the cases of the police and military, some non-magic based equipment that make them better equipped to handle villains and monsters that feed on magic).

Of course, I can completely respect if this idea doesn't work.

10207152
it's fine: I'll be sure to keep this in mind if I DO end up making a sequel

10207245

Thank you VERY much.

Here's another casting idea for IF you DO eventually plan to do a sequel: Suri Polomare as Atrocitious (considering Rarity is in the role of Green Lantern)



*****************************


Plus, If Garble DOES trick Smolder into helping the remains of Celestia's forces, there could be a scene:

Celestia: What is this?

Smolder: It's top-of-the-line Magitech Powered Armor. Grants the strength and durability of 27 above average Earth ponies, the flying ability and weather skills of 27 above-average pegasi AND the telekinetic abilities of 27 above average unicorns. Admittedly, it might be only a small fraction of the power you USED TO have, but it's the best we can do until we can find a way to restore your FULL power. Gar-Gar and I had to beat up and torch a couple dozen corrupted pony guards and break into a high-security bad guy base to get it.

Celestia: (snickering) Gar-Gar?

Garble: Look, Smolder, I already told you, only YOU get to call me Gar-Gar. (to Celestia) And watch it. That armor might make you my physical equal, but you DO NOT get to mock me.

Sunburst: Are you SURE they were corrupted? Or that it was a bad guy base?

Smolder: Well, yeah. Gar - I mean, my big brother told me they were. And anyway, why do YOU care?

Sunburst: Because I've been OFF the enhancement drugs for five years. Tartarus-enforced rehab. I've been thinking much more clearly after a while. And, with my horn smashed, getting back on the drugs would do me absolutely no good anyway. Quite literally ALL I HAVE now is my intellect. And I NEED to KNOW that WE'RE the good guys.




******************

And, at the meeting to officiate the temporary truce between Twilight's forces and Celestia's:

Twilight: This is truly a dire situation requiring drastic measures, but there are TWO rules that MUST remain firmly in place. The first is that the use of lethal force MUST be reserved as an ABSOLUTE last resort. The second is that we ALL protect one another AND the civilians out there. Otherwise, we're no better than the bad guys.

***************************************

Twilight: No. Grogar is already beaten. He doesn't need to get killed. Besides, we need him to reverse the effects of his bell CAREFULLY.

Celestia: No we don't. With enough time, and Sunburst's help -

Twilight: That's too dangerous.

Celestia: Just how many innocents need to die before you realize some beings NEED killing - even if they have TECHNICALLY already been beaten? (feeling her armor being shut off) What the?

Twilight: (showing the remote to Celestia's stolen Powered Armor) You think I wouldn't know how to deactivate that stolen armor? Starlight and my counterpart from one of the human universes helped design and build that armor and Silverstream managed to retrieve the remote before Grogar captured and brainwashed her. I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but knew it probably would.


And, yeah, I know I'm getting over-excited and I apologize for that.

This is an "if" and I have to respect that.


10207541
no, it's okay: I'll keep those bits of potential dialogue in mind 😉

Whoa mama. That WAS an intense chapter. VERY good job on the exchanges, action, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I especially liked Blueblood's "memory crystal notes" before heading off to do his part, Blueblood calming down his universe's Pinkie with the help of the main Pinkie (complete with the nod to the "smile" song) and Blueblood saving A.K. from Chrysalis and Gilda. And yeah, Scoots realizing too late that she backed the wrong horse (both literally and figuratively) makes for some good (or should I say bad) foreshadowing.


Some possible dialogue for Celestia's chapter:

Disharmony-verse Celestia: Once I've killed you and brought YOUR Luna here -

Main Celestia: She's be terrified and disgusted! And I wouldn't be able to blame her one bit! This is FAR worse than ANYTHING she EVER did as Nightmare Moon!

Disharmony-verse Celestia: At least she will be alive!

Main Celestia: Your Luna's death does NOT justify all of this.

Disharmony-verse Celestia: Sombra STOLE her from me - AFTER I only had her back for two years!

Main Celestia: And you stole the freedom of this entire nation and several others. Well, it's time to give that freedom back.

Anyway, VERY much looking forward to the final few chapters.

10207541
just a heads up though: if I DO end up making a sequel, Smolder's kind of already made a cameo earlier in the story; more specifically, during Ember's chapter: she's the Dragon that let the Dragon Lord know that she had some visitors 😉

10208945
Yeah. More than fair enough. I forgot about that, by my own admission. It's just, considering how much Flurry Heart looks up to her Aunt Twilight, I don't think she would let Garble con her into siding with Celestia's forces even very briefly.

Kinda hoping that Fluttershy tells them about Scoots and Rainbow calls first dibs on beating the living daylights out of Empress Celestia

Hi there. Thanks again for getting the next chapter up. I REALLY appreciate you going to the effort. Once again, splendid job on the exchanges, action, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I especially liked the tricks Fluttershy used to get past Gilda and Rutherford, the (toned down) "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" reference with Angel, the help of the other animals Fluttershy got with Chrysalis's troops, the check up on Rarity, Lightning Dust and Apple Bloom and the scene with Fluttershy convincing Rainbow that she had wised up and switched sides.

VERY certainly looking forward to more of this.

10209161
Yeah. I could DEFINITELY see that.

I finally got around to reading this. It seems pretty good so far. Will probably take my time with it.

That’s a lot of characters all fighting at once. But hard to keep track at times but still fun. Plenty of funny moments too.

10209159
fair enough on all accounts

Interesting characterization for these alternate selves. Seems even if Rarity’s self is with the Empire she still cares for her sister. I wonder what happened to make Lightning Dust care about Rainbow?

Good intermission to take a break from the action.

Nice job revealing more of who is on which side. It may just be because I like those ships, but my favorite parts were Ember seeing Spike’s memorial statue and promising herself to hug her version when she sees him again, and Rainbow Dash meeting “her and Soarin’s daughter” in this alternate reality.

Excellent job on this latest chapter. Again, the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up are all wonderfully done in all the right places. I especially liked Disharmony-verse Twilight's reaction to Blueblood's final message as well as her allies reassuring her that they all stepped in willingly AND all already knew the risks, Discord's detailed reasons for siding with Twilight (particularly the reason eliminating all crime is impossible) and Main Applejack reasoning with her Disharmony-verse counterpart.


And, speaking for if you DO decide to do a story based on Injustice 2, it can be mentioned that she and the Main Twilight have magic journals (similar to the ones she and Sunset use) that they keep in touch with. Of course, it's mentioned that the main Celestia and Luna retired about two years before the start of the story, so Main Twilight is just slightly more than two years into her reign as ruler of Equestria.

A slight AU version of the canon series finale (since the canon cut off point is just before Season 7) could also be mentioned, namely Grogar (as in the Main Equestria's version of the real one) brought together Sombra, Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, Tirek, the Storm King and the Dazzlings to train them to work together as a cohesive unit (Main Grogar taking on Discord, the Royal Sisters, the Mane Six AND the Pillars and VERY nearly winning while the rest of the heroes led by Shining Armor, Cadance and Spike fought the other villains)

In addition, in the Disharmony-verse, Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich have been married for three years and have a one-and-half-year old son (so, yeah, Li`l Cheese was born more than a decade-and-a-half sooner than in canon in the Disharmony-verse) that Storm Chaser helps foalsit.


here is some possible dialogue for the sequel if you opt to do one:

Spike (ghost, but Twilight's magic is strong enough to see and hear him without him having to possess a body): So, they're still taking their time on the whole "Democratically elected council comprised of equal parts unicorns, pegasi and Earth ponies", huh?

Twilight: As Mac would have said, Yup.

Spike: Present tense. Even in death, he and I still enjoy the semi-regular O & O game with Discord - well, when I'm not busy with the "Spirit of Karma" job or having chats with you.

Twilight: Sorry about that. Anyway, yeah, they're still taking their time. They think I'm doing too good a job right now.

Spike: To be fair, you ARE doing a pretty good job as ruler of Equestria - especially with your still living friends backing you up.

Twilight: As well as my technically-not-living-but-still-loyal friends. So, how is it going as the Spirit of Karma?

Spike: Well, it's pretty busy, but there IS something gratifying about making sure murderers and rapists spend the rest of their lives in prison and helping far less dangerous criminals see the light. Kind of like being an unofficial friendship ambassador. But, yeah, it would probably be pretty advisable to expand the Circle of Trust.

Twilight: It's something I need to work on, but I AM working on that. But, yeah, Spike, have to admit, ever since my magic got strong enough for me to see and hear you without you having to possess a body, I've always appreciated these chats, particularly your advice.

Spike: So, unofficial royal advisor and friendship ambassador. Kind of a similar role my still-living counterpart in the universe that helped end Celestia's tyranny plays officially in his universe. As Discord says "In Spite of a Nail".

**************************


Flurry Heart: Aunt Twilight! Grogar attacked the Crystal Empire! And I'm pretty sure it was OUR universe's Grogar too. Anyway, he shrank and stole the entire Crystal Empire, saying something about torturing the entire city. Daddy's force field held out JUST long enough for him and Mommy to get me to relative safety and tell me to get help.

Twilight: And you came to me?

Flurry Heart: Well, something this big requires the greatest heroes I know - which would be you and your friends.

Twilight: If it's Grogar, it might require even more than THAT. But, still, thanks for the information, Flurry. I Pinkie Promise my friends and I will do what we can.


*****************

And, yeah, I will admit that I once again jumped the gun. (sheepish grin)

Anyway, on to the next chapter.

Excellent job on the exchange, action and future chapter set-up in this chapter. Particularly liked Sci-Twi helping out her main counterpart (and the reflection on what her friends told her about her time as Midnight Sparkle) and Main Twilight's reflection on her fight with her Disharmony-verse counterpart.

VERY definitely looking forward to more of this.

10212631
once again, I appreciate the insight: I'll be sure to keep that dialogue in mind as I go forward 😉

10212759
Thanks very much. I really appreciate that.

I admit, the parts where Pinkie broke the 4th wall and talked to the narrator felt a little forced, but still plenty of good moments. I especially like the reference to the DCAU when Batman confronted his Justice Lord counterpart, here with Twilight using the alternate Applejack’s parents against her.

Login or register to comment