• Member Since 16th Apr, 2020
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MeowofyMLP


Optimistic and idealistic. Inexperienced writer with little time, I hope we can be friends!

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Source

After the way dismissing Twilight Sparkle's suspicions and abandoning her at the Royal Canterlot Wedding, Princess Celestia doubts her capability as a ruler to defend her citizens and is feeling guilty for her actions against her Most Faithful Student. Twilight catches Celestia in her chambers sobbing, comforts her and reminds her how important she is to everypony.

{First story}

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 3 )

I am also a beginning writer so my advice might not be the best one but I still want to share my opinion. I like it, the pace is short and sweet and you wrote some very beautiful descriptions. I do have some very minor gripes, like how Twilight is just able to enter the room even though there where guards present, maybe you could have Twilight being denied entry but then upon hearing Celestia cry she just teleports inside. Also I would have liked it if the bit in which Celestia stews in her own guilt lasted a bit longer because it showed it lot of character development.

Again other than those minor gripes I really enjoyed it and I think it is a very good first story.

>>DefiantPosition

Thank you for the suggestions, I'll take them all into consideration!

I'm currently working on a small bonus chapter to portray Twilight's point of view. In there, I may add something about the two guards, perhaps one who has no idea who she is and tries to restrain her with no success?

When I have time, I'll try to add more of Celestia's inner conflict, maybe just before Twilight makes herself known?

Although this short story is marked as complete, it is far from it, I'll continue shaping it up and adding parts until it's the best it can be!

Thank you again for the comment!

I did like it, especially the small parts about Twilights youth.

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