Nimbus Cloudblazer is a newcomer to Ponyville. He came hoping to find a new life, a quiet life out of the shadow of his parents, But as a new age dawns in Equestria, he may end up getting more than he bargained for. Suddenly receiving the attention he never looked for, he'll feel he'd rather have stayed in that suddenly very comfortable-looking shadow.
But he may also realize that finally stepping out of those shadows is the best thing that ever happened to him.
(Cover Art is Temporary)
Chapters (3)
I love seeing more content.
I loved the feel of this first chapter. Easy-going in a way, and I could almost feel the fresh air as you described everything. You've got a great sense for physicality of your characters. It's nice to see them moving and doing pony things instead of just moving from place to place for the sake of plot. I also liked that one little sentence of dialogue towards the end. It was very effective given how little dialogue there was in the rest of it. I'd recommend taking another pass for copyediting once you have the version up on FIMFiction before you publish to make sure your paragraphs are all spaced the same way. Also, I recommend choosing either meters or feet, since it's a bit distracting to suddenly have the other unit spelled out.
Nice first chapter. It's relaxing and personal, which I could use more of these days. Looking forward to the next one!
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Oops! Looks like Google Docs strikes again! I forgot how it does that.
Thank you for your advice. I'm glad you liked it!
You've got yourself a stalker now
I'll be ready for the next one
You continue to do great work with your descriptions. I'm curious why Nimbus isn't talking about his home, so good hook there. Looking forward to the next one!
This was a cute addition to the story. It's great seeing Nimbus make new friends, and I like how you tie the last scene in with the main conflict.
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Thanks! That last bit is what took me so long. I just could not figure out the end.