• Member Since 10th Sep, 2017
  • offline last seen April 2nd

BradyBunch


You are going to LOVE ME!

T

One evening, Applejack gives refuge to a stranger whose very voice sends shivers up her spine. He is a self-proclaimed storyteller who has a tale of woe for the Apple family. And later that evening, blood is spilled. Can Applejack figure out his intentions? Or is it already too late?

Written for the Halloween in April horror contest with The Barcast.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 26 )

Well.... Wasn't expecting any of that. Pretty good twists, a little predictable when I reread it, but for the first read it was quite excellent. However, the last sentence made me smile in laughing sort of way... don't know if that's what you intended with this story? However, I promise. This is honestly a really, really good story.

10157193
I intended for the last sentence to end on a pun. It was too good to leave out.

jmj

I really enjoyed your story. I think you have a shot at placing in the contest. Your writing style is entertaining and developed.

10157219
In that case my good sir, you did very well.

Hey I have a pun for you.

What did Adam say to his wife on December 25th?
It's Christmas Eve!

Congrats on the feature!

I always love a good horror story! Even though they don't scare me or make me feel anything I can surely say that this story does its work just fine.:pinkiesmile:
Oh, and I have to say that those blue balls remember me of Invoker.

Thank you for submitting this! Greatly looking forward to reading it. :)

10157456
Let me know how I did.

Goddammit, Brady

10157898
Ah, puns. They're delightful!

"Explain that to the remains of the land," the storyteller darkly replied. "Don't speak of what you don't know. I thought you were the resident expert on that, am I right? Eeyup, or eenope?"

Alondro bestows his profound intellect upon background pony AJ for a brief moment, inspiring brilliance beyond the capability of most mortal ponies... and bronies for that matter... "Ya'll know we have a direct like to Celestia. We can ask."

Psycho OC, "I didn't think of that... but... but Celestia is..."

AJ, "She aint' what yer sayin'. Geez, did ya even even bother ta read the canon materials?"

Psycho OC, "C-canon?"

AJ rolls her eyes, "Dangit, got another one what don't even know he's fictional! GRANNY! GIT THE GUN!"

And so, another grimdark OC ended up buried in the Apple's orchard to feed their crop...

(Comedy + horror = winning!)

:ajsmug:

I admit, I was not expecting a feghoot finale.

Weird cults just work so well in the pony setting. Nicely done.

10161756
Thanks for that. I got other cultist stories as well, if you want.

10161763
You do? Which ones are they? Feel free to link 'em!

10161778
Well, The Cult of Faust is an obvious choice. And the Noxxa in A Rather Large Adventure are kinda cultlike. And then there's the ambiguity in Longing.

10161811
It looks like I've already read Longing. The longfic is a bit daunting for me right now, but I think I could get to the other one pretty soon. It certainly looks up my alley.

10161822
Enjoy it, please. And my longfics are of the highest quality and care. I understand if your time schedule isn't suitable for them, but my two longfics are my ultimate pride and joy.

10161827
I've stuck it on my RiL, seeing as I'm the same way when it comes to the length of stories and quality. (Though, there are some exceptions.) It does look interesting, I just won't be able to get to it for some time since I tend to read later, write a lot, and have icky offline obligations.

This could continue with the revelation about Celestia

This story was kinda of meh for me. it wasn't really that scary. I saw the the Storyteller story being true a mile away. I agree with Brony 4 Life the Celestia stuff need to be expended .

But it wasn't bad for your first crack at horror.

10336763
Basically writing a long shaggy-dog joke story that ends in a pun. In retrospect, it would have done better if I submitted this for a feghoof festival.

And thanks for the criticism. I never thought this was my A-material when it came to horror, and I'm a fanfiction author, for goodness' sake. But thanks for reading and enjoying, and commenting and criticising, and all that. I was going for psychological horror rather than showing a bunch of blood like Five Nights At Freddie's fanfics.

10336774
It's fine I had a crack at , https://www.fimfiction.net/story/387061/unrest and I wasn't good at it either so. I'm glad you didn't go the FNAF route it's too much of a cliche at this point.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Goddammit, that feghoot. :facehoof:

This story was kinda of meh for me. it wasn't really that scary. I really enjoyed your article.
Skyward Alpine District

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