Marshmallow Dreams

by Halira

Chapter 62: The Stiff Mare

The Gilmores finally left after a great deal of the two sisters ribbing on one another, much to their father's consternation. He seemed to understand that they were being good-natured about it rather than nasty. He did cover his ears when the two of them started teasing one another about their tastes in colts, and I wouldn't be shocked if they were doing it on purpose to needle at their dad. The likes weren't that surprising. Jordan found colts with bold colors or two-tone manes very handsome, and Jackie was all about wingspan. I could tell Jordan had a dirty joke on the edge of her tongue about her sister's tastes but wasn't going to say that in front of their dad. The two of them would have fit right in with my friends the way they talked about guys.

But they did leave, eventually, and that left me sitting in the living room with Lántiān.

She looked at me. "Drizzle is bathing Wrinkles, then gathering her bed stuff to wash, setting up the Roomba for her room, and finally, she was told to go play quietly in her room after she is done with her chores. We should not be interrupted."

"That's a lot of chores," I said.

She raised an eyebrow. "I disagree; it is barely anything. She needs to be responsible for her animal. Running a single load of laundry is hardly a major task, and the robotic vacuum does its job on its own once it is set up. I don't ask much from my daughter, but I ask her to keep up with her room and pet. I will be asking her to assist me tonight with cooking as I continue to educate her about preparing food. Being a parent means teaching your foals responsibility and life skills. When she is older, she will take on more chores. These will do for now. Responsibility should be slowly increased, not dropped on a foal all at once. My mother did that to me, and it messed me up."

My ears sagged. "I'm sorry that Miss Seapony did that to you. I know she didn't mean to hurt you. She loves you."

Lántiān's face twisted into a sneer. "I'm well aware my mother loves me, but as Ma'am would say, that doesn't mean she didn't royally fuck up."

I didn't know how to respond to that. I knew her mother was a very touchy subject, especially between us. I didn't even know how much I should be defending Miss Seapony other than insisting that she did, in fact, love her foals. It was best to let the subject lie.

"You wanted to talk to me about today?" I prompted.

She seemed to calm down visibly. "Yes, you mentioned that Wrinkles tried to drag my daughter out into the street. I'm assuming you were the one that stopped that from happening?"

I nodded. "I belly-flopped on the leash and stopped him in his tracks. Jordan had stepped inside for a moment, so she couldn't help right then."

Lántiān nodded. "Our neighbor would have probably prevented that, but I can't be certain they were watching at that moment. If they weren't, then you saved my daughter. Thank you."

"You're welcome," I said with a small smile. "I wouldn't want her to get hurt, even if that wasn't my job."

She nodded again. "Try to ensure in the future that Jordan is where she needs to be when you are outside. I am putting that responsibility on you. You could have saved yourself some grass stains and some panic if she had been there."

"I'll make sure Jordan remembers to use the potty before leaving the house," I assured her. "I was annoyed by it too, at the time, but didn't realize how much of a problem it was going to turn into."

"Now you know," Lántiān replied. She then looked back towards the hall and back towards me. "I most wanted to talk about the discussion you were having with my daughter when I walked in."

I shivered. "What did she say to you about it?"

Lántiān gestured for me to sit on the couch, and not wanting to argue, I did. She joined me on the other end of the sofa.

"Drizzle and I had a talk about what's important to each of us," Lántiān said slowly. "Thanks to what you said, she understood much of my feelings… I am assuming you learned those things from my mother. You are lucky she is dead, and the dead have no secrets. It is a stupid loophole, but it is a loophole. Without that, you might be in line for a fine."

"Some of it was just guesses, based on your art and things I heard her say," I said quietly.

"The art you saw me show her in a dream?" Lántiān asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Um… yeah…"

She covered her face with a wing and shook her head. "Rebecca Riddle, for one hoping to be a Dreamwarden, you are terrible at following their rules. I will state to them tonight I permit you to use that information. Perhaps that will spare you punishment, but please, do not disclose my private thoughts again."

"Lips sealed," I said quickly.

She sighed and looked away. "It is hard for me to let go of certain things. You are no doubt all too aware of this, and I apologize for that. I am trying my best to be reasonable and fair. This doesn't just extend to things involving you. I still consider my home China and still consider myself and my daughter as temporary USA residents until our homeland is free. It is hard for me to admit that freedom may not come in my lifetime. It hurts to admit it, so I don't, and I maintain the false hope that me, my brothers, and my daughter can go home again soon and everything will be good."

I risked speaking up. "But that isn't a realistic thing to expect to happen, even if your homeland was freed today."

She was silent for a few seconds before nodding. "You are right. My brothers have adopted Ma'am as their new mother, and their home is with her. My daughter has spent almost her entire life in this country. She barely speaks any Mandarin. Her friends and family are all here. For all important purposes, this is her home, and it would be cruel to ask her to leave it behind. My mother may have forced me to flee mine, but at least she was thinking about our safety, not her selfish wishes. I know she would have wanted to stay if she felt we were safe. She loved China, loved it fiercely. My mother is a pony of many deep attachments, and letting go of China must have hurt her deeply."

"And now, you're wondering if you need to let go too?" I asked.

She laid her head down on the edge of the couch. "Yes."

"What about Drizzle's heritage?" I asked.

She looked at me and lifted her head back up. "Drizzle appreciates me teaching her about China because it is time spent with me and time spent learning about me. She wants to know all about me, but she doesn't want to be me. She might have accepted me teaching her as much about China as I did to get my approval, and that is just her repeating my mistakes and my mother's mistakes."

"So… what are you going to do instead?" I asked.

She took a deep breath. "I will teach her only so much as relates directly to our family and me, or as much extra that she asks about. I shall not force her to be Chinese. I shall accept she is an… American and she will grow up to have an American husband and American foals, and I will do my best to be her American mom."

I tilted my head. "You know, it sounds like you aren't all on board with this, just a little hesitation, just a little… teeny-tiny, almost unnoticeable. I am only barely picking up on—"

"I get the point, Rebecca Riddle. Please, abstain from annoying me. I'm trying hard not to dislike you."

"Okay, okay," I replied quickly. "I think you should be honest with her that it will take time for you to adjust to the idea. She's going to notice that you aren't thrilled about it. She already notices that you don't always say her name right. Kids can be perceptive. By the way, you can call me Rebecca. Saying my first and last name like that sounds a teeny-weeny bit hostile. I do appreciate you trying not to hate me. It makes me feel a little better. Do you have any cake?"

"No, I do not have cake, Rebecca," she snapped. "You need to lay off the cake. Your weight is not healthy. You'll develop high blood pressure if you don't lose some weight, and that can lead to early heart attacks. We don't need another undead Dreamwarden because you couldn't stop stuffing your face."

That dragged me back to something I was thinking of earlier. "I need some advice. Can you help me out? I figure you'll be honest with me."

Lántiān flattened her ears and glared at me.

I started trying to shuffle off the couch. "Or… you can just pay me, and I'll get going."

"Get back on the couch," Lántiān ordered. I hopped back up and planted my rump firmly in place. She glared at me some more. "Why do people I don't like always come to me asking for advice?"

I gave a big grin. "Your charming personality?"

She snorted. "You and Ma'am. You're enough to make me scream. What do you want me to give my valued opinion on? I already gave you advice. It was to stop eating so much, you fat tub of lard."

I blinked. "I'm going to say this as nice as I can. You need to work on your people skills. It seems like you like to mentor, so I'm surprised you come off as rude as you do."

She gave me a long look. "How do you know I like to mentor?"

"Well, Julie says you took her under your wing last year when she was starting on the flight team, and she appreciated how much you helped her. Now you had Jackie with you today, showing her the ropes. It just makes me think you care a lot about helping others be great, even if you act all prickly and mean."

She flicked an ear. "What advice are you seeking?"

I stared down at the floor. "I am not promised to be the next Dreamwarden. There are other candidates, and we are all still being considered. I can also refuse to become one even if I end up the pick at the end. I'm dating this guy—"

She sat up. "You are dating? It must be your personality. Continue."

It was my personality, so I didn't get mad at her implication. "I'm dating this guy and thinking about how being a Dreamwarden would impact getting married, adopting foals, and all that. I always thought it was something that would be completely unfair to any family I might have. I mean, look at Phobia's family and them training their kids to be like killer ninjas."

"I would not label Jordan and Jackie as killer ninjas," Lántiān replied in mild amusement.

"I was thinking more of Phobia's actual foals," I clarified. "Everybody keeps talking about how scary Arachne and Charlotte are."

Lántiān shrugged. "They are night ponies whose aggression has been directed into combat training from early foalhood. I think you have missed that those two fillies feel they have something to prove, which drives them even harder. Learning to be brutal fighters is a form of independence for them. Both seek to hear their praises sung, not for their mother's approval, but to not live in her shadow forever."

I blinked again. "Really?"

"You are not the only one who can be perceptive, Rebecca. I know what I have observed. The Terror Twins wish to make names for themselves and not forever be referred to first and foremost as Phobia Remedy's daughters. I understand the feeling. I would hate always to be referenced as Yinyu's daughter rather than myself or as Sunset Blessing's ward. No one wants to be merely an accessory to someone else's identity, not anyone with any self-respect anyway."

I smirked. "Jordan and her dad were just getting on Jackie's case for calling those two the Terror Twins."

She snorted again. "It is a good way of referencing them, although I suppose it is unfair. They may be twins, and they may both fight like terrors, but they are very different ponies. Charlotte is moody and resents the pressure put upon her by her birth but has a good heart. All that I will say about Arachne is that she is well named, a spider. Lumping both under a single title implies they are the same, and they are not."

"People should be judged as individuals," I agreed.

She tapped a hoof on the couch absently. "Phobia's foals are not the only ones to look at. You can use my brothers and me as well. I will try to give you a fair and honest answer."

I waited as she took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. "My brothers live a wonderful life, and I cannot say mine is unpleasant. Yes, there is always security around, but at this point, I have grown used to it. My relationship with my mother is strained, but I cannot say her being a Dreamwarden is the primary reason for that. She was nocturnal; I was not. She spent much of her time when we were both awake taking strangers into her bedroom. She had pressures from the Chinese government that she dared not speak to me about. She had two more foals that were also not nocturnal, and it fell to me to take care of them. There also was never a father figure in my life to give me support where she did not. I can't say all that is the fault of her being a Dreamwarden."

I flattened my ears. "Um… do you need a minute after saying all that? I know you don't like talking about that."

She bit her lower lip and shook her head. "I'll be fine, but thank you for your consideration. If I need to, I will scream into a pillow later."

"I guess that is better," I said with a nervous laugh. I raised a wing in a weak cheer. "Yea, progress.

She raised an eyebrow at me and just stared. I put my wing down and gave more nervous laughter. "Are you sure you don't have any cake? Maybe some cookies? I'm not going to lie; you kinda intimidate me, and I normally don't get intimidated. You look at me, and I imagine you're having fantasies about ripping my spine out through my nose."

"You are a bizarre ball of mush, do you know that?" she asked without changing expression.

I gave a toothy grin. "I like to think of myself as unique."

"Right, we'll go with that word," Lántiān said slowly. "So… how long have you been dating this pony?"

I perked up. "He's actually human. His name is Russell. He goes to our school, and he's really sweet. We had one date so far, but we are lined up for a second!"

The flat look returned. "Just to clarify, in case I'm missing something. You're concerned about the impact you becoming a Dreamwarden will have on any future foals you might have, but you're dating a human? And this human you have been on one date with, so it isn't even that serious a relationship?"

"Well, we could adopt," I pointed out.

She wiped her face with a wing and groaned. "The point is, don't you think you are worrying about something that may not be an issue? You have been on one date; that is too early to be worrying about your entire future family."

"Do you have experience dating?" I asked.

That evil eyebrow of hers went up again. "Why, no, of course not. Drizzle just magically appeared one day, and I have no idea where she came from."

I gave an embarrassed chuckle. I guessed that whoever had knocked her up hadn't been with her for her personality. What would it take to get her to be nice? Is this what counted as nice with her?

"Yeah… forget I asked that. That was a very stupid question."

That made her crack a smile. "That we can agree on. Rebecca, my advice is to not worry about it unless it looks like the relationship will go that way. You pointed out that you may not even become a Dreamwarden, so you could be worrying yourself over nothing. Does this human have magic?"

I shook my head. "He said he never got ETS."

She nodded. "If the relationship does advance and you do become a Dreamwarden, that could be a benefit. I imagine being in a relationship where you know everything that goes on in your significant other's mind would be challenging. It could be a relief to have a partner you couldn't mindread."

I blinked. "I hadn't considered that. I have thought about all the social and family implications of becoming a Dreamwarden for years, but with the very real possibility it could be happening and happening soon, it just makes me get so flustered and second-guessing myself and think about all this stuff I never considered before, you know? I'm usually very calm, easy-going, go with the flow, but this is the first time in a long time that I am stressed—like, really stressed."

She gave me what I swore might be a sympathetic look. It was hard to tell with her. "It's a life-changing decision that you can't change your mind on after you have made it. It makes sense that you would be stressed. You would be even stranger than you are if you weren't stressed." She looked at my stomach. "I think you're lying about never getting stressed. Your requests for cookies and cake make me think you are a stress eater, and your girth tells me there has been a lot of eating over time."

I touched my pounch. "Yeah, but normally I have easy access to sweets. I haven't had that since starting college. Comfort food helps all that stuff not to get to me."

"That is not good for you," she said flatly. "I'm not trying to be insulting, but you really need to come up with a more healthy way of dealing with stress."

"I know, but cookies and cakes taste so good," I pouted. I took a deep breath and then smiled at her. "Thanks for talking to me and trying to be nice. Does this mean we are friends now?"

She shook her head. "No."

My entire posture deflated.

She gave me a considering look. "But… it's getting better. I don't want to pull your spine out through your nose anymore. Perhaps just pluck your wings, shave you bald, and tie your tail in knots."

I cringed and gave some nervous chuckles. "Um… progress… horay."

She got down from the couch. "Progress indeed. Let me pay you now. I only need you for a few hours tomorrow, earlier in the morning. So tomorrow should be easier."

Well, progress was progress. I would just have to work on getting her not to hate my guts slowly.

Comments

[Chrome Masquerade]

She snorted. "You and Ma'am. You're enough to make me scream. What do you want me to give my valued opinion on? I already gave you advice. It was to stop eating so much, you fat tub of lard."

To quote from Jade Empire,

"What have I done to earn such belligerence?"
"You don't want my answer to that."

[Chrome Masquerade]

She gave me a considering look. "But… it's getting better. I don't want to pull your spine out through your nose anymore. Perhaps just pluck your wings, shave you bald, and tie your tail in knots."

Yeesh.