Magicolt808
Joined 1st Feb, 2012 ·
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If this is a trollfic, well done. You get a cookie.
I read the second line, "An unforgiving place where lonely souls go to die.", and was literally laughing so hard, no idea why this made me laugh but whatever. Great fic! How the hell did you make this so fast?
Had some epic in it, I say. And I always wondered how she kept those carnivores of hers fed. You found a pretty brilliant solution to that: Monsters, roaming the woods as beast-like morons. Maybe you should have made it a troll instead of a manticore, you know, for poetic justice's sake.
I'm not really convinced about the ending. I guess it makes sense, illustrating the futility of it all. No matter how hard she tries overcoming the paradoxes of being an animal lover who has to kill to feed her babies, in the end she just can't win. In terms of the story-line, though, the ending was pretty random and looked disconnected from what happened previously. Maybe it would have made more sense if you explained that she just got the lion and was still struggling to integrate it. Right now, I just wonder why this hasn't happened a lot earlier
I'll give praise the vocabulary, the word use, and the grammar
The story itself...ehhhhhh
Reaction midway:
Reaction to the ending:
forum.ponyville.net/uploads/gallery/album_2/med_gallery_175_2_42643.jpg
I feel this is relevant
Oh. This is that story you wrote in less than an hour. I guess it's decent for that, then.
1131446 this is what happens when I write a story in 35 mins without editing or proof reading.
Ahh, glad to finally get a mediocre story once again from you Magic.
Joking aside, not a bad run through for only 35 minutes. You're getting better with your action scenes, but your periods could be spaced out more and replaced with commas. Was a tad shocked when you got Fluttershy to lick the blood rather than just wipe it off. But hey, it flows with the mood and the story.
EDIT: would also like to point out that i totally called it. (You coming back here that is)
Bravo and Encore
I like this, well done.
But man.... DAT ENDING....
NUUUU! Leo, y u no wait like every one else???
That was... quite the surprise ending. I'm not sure what to say about it.
1131538
This. right here.
At the end of the trail, Angel eating the lion...