• Published 26th Mar 2020
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Diplomat at Large - Evilhumour



Following her adventures in the Packlands, Twilight and Spike set off around the world on an extended diplomatic visit, while their friends have their own adventures back home.

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Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Rainbow Dash closed the alarm clock and went through her morning routine; washing up, feeding Tank, going to grab the mail, making her breakfast and seeing if one of the letters was from Twilight.

There weren’t any yet, which was disappointing, but she couldn’t expect her friend to write every single day. Still, she couldn’t help but hope.

Next on the agenda was the day’s weather, and other than moving a few clouds around, she figured the day should be mostly free to focus on her training.

Though that word was taking a whole new context with the war. Shaking her head, Dash made a rare decision to take a break from training to see how her friends were doing, though those rare decisions to take a break were becoming more less rare.

She shook her head; who knew Twilight’s little world tour would result in a full-scale war breaking out? At least, she thought to herself, We got wind of this guy before he showed up out of nowhere.

Her first stop was at Carousel Boutique, to see how Rares was doing. The two might not be as close as she was to most of their other friends, but she still wanted to be sure Rarity was doing okay, especially after the swoon she’d suffered from finding out about that other thing that Luna had confided to them. At least that maniac isn’t linked to her anymore, she thought. Wonder who the replacement is.

Landing in front of the shop, Dash raised her hoof to knock on the door only to have Rarity open it for her. “Come in darling,” she said without even looking at her. “We’re just sitting down to breakfast.”

“Thanks Rares,” Dash said as she walked into the kitchen, seeing that her friend had already had a plate and hot cup of coffee out for her. “So… how you doing?” she asked as she sat next to Sweetie’s empty seat as the filly was staying with her parents in Canterlot. Her own parents had also gone there as soon as they’d found out, and Fluttershy’s too - she pitied the team that had to deal with escorting her brother there. She still wasn’t sure if Pinkie’s had agreed to go in; from what she’d heard, Igneous Rock Pie and his eldest daughter could be very stubborn, though she knew Pinkie had told them to at least insist on getting Marble to a secured location, and to try and find Maud, wherever she’d gotten off to for her latest studies. She knew that both Granny Smith and Big McIntosh had insisted on staying at their farm to help run things, though Apple Bloom had gone to Canterlot with Sweetie and Scootaloo, and a few of the other younger Apples from around Equestria were also being sent there, especially from cities near the coast.

“Still a bit in shock,” Rarity confessed. “Imagine, all that… that news.” She sighed. “I shall have to thank Discord for his part though when next I see him.”

“Yeah.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Who’da thunk it? Though...” She tapped a hoof on her chin. “She was pretty selfish; that does sound like a total opposite of you.”

“Though I wish they’d tell us what this whole Power thing means,” Rarity said with a huff. “Granted I understand that everyone is busy at the moment but really, I don’t think being told more than I was the Lady of Generosity, she was my Opposite and all those surface names is too much to ask.”

Dash had to snort at that with Rarity looking at her. “Come on Rares, I thought you loved those Shadow Spade novels. This is just another mystery to figure out!”

“You’re right, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said smiling to herself, perking up before blinking at her. “How did you know that I read those books, by the way?”

“You told Twilight, remember? I was there?” Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Give me some credit, Rarity, I do remember more than just stuff about flying and weather.”

“I’m surprised you recall that, it’s been a couple of months since I said it,” Rarity said with a chuckle before tapping her chin as she got into her zone.

“Well… it helps that they’re on a shelf in your living room,” Rainbow Dash admitted as she took a sip of her coffee. “And those ones you recommended to Twilight too. Should have known there was another reason besides mysteries that you liked them.”

“What do you mean by that?” Rarity asked a little huffily.

“The cat on the spines was a pretty big hint.”

“Oh.” Rarity blushed and chuckled. “I see your point.”

“Still.” Rainbow Dash thought. “I wonder who this Oathbreaking who’s my Opposite is. I don’t really know anypony who really fits that description.”

“You may never have met them,” Rarity pointed out as she got a notepad out and began to write on it. “For that matter, Chrysalis may be the only one of our Opposites that any of us have met. I certainly didn’t feel anything odd from her when we were in the same room, so we can’t count on that sort of thing to give us a hint.” She suddenly grimaced. “I certainly hope my new Opposite isn’t that Suri Polomare,” she said. “She may have been selfish, but I do not want to be associated with her ever again.”

A piece of paper suddenly materialized in the air above them, and she reached out and caught it, scanning the two words on it. “‘Think hedonist’?” she asked in confusion.

“Discord,” Rainbow Dash said with a sigh. “Must be his way of giving a hint.”

“If so…” Rarity’s eyes suddenly shifted into… well, Rainbow Dash wasn’t sure what, but it looked like she was deep in thought. “Ah-hah!” She quickly scribbled something down. “Whomever the new Lord or Lady of Self-Centeredness is, they must be somepony - or some non-pony - who practices considerable self-indulgence, and lives for pleasure and amusement.”

“Or, it could be someone who helps others do so for themselves,” Rainbow Dash said. “I mean, if you help others by giving to them, maybe it’s the opposite of that, where they help others by making them focus on themselves?”

“Another logical interpretation,” Rarity said, scribbling it down. She looked thoughtful again. “If I didn’t know better, I’d swear Pinkie was a logical candidate - she certainly lives for helping others find happiness for themselves, which brings her pleasure and makes her happiest.”

“Sounds like Pinkie, all right,” Rainbow Dash said. “But let’s assume it’s someone else for now. I don’t think having a part of Harmony and a part of Disharmony in the same pony would be a good thing for them, even if they’re not direct Opposites.” She shivered. “I’ve seen Pinkie depressed, I do not want to even imagine what she’d be if she had Sorrow in her full-time.”

“Yes, that is quite the disturbing notion.” Rarity shivered as well. “Having Night and Day in one pony, as Luna suggested as an example of Opposites working together, is one thing. But two polarizing emotions like Laughter and Sorrow are quite another.”

“Personally, I can’t help but wonder what Twilight’s going to think about her Opposite,” Rainbow Dash said. “I mean, Magic and Technology? She lives for putting sciency stuff together with magic; just look at how she was studying that chest we got before she had to go off. I saw the diagrams on her wall.”

“Maybe it is like you said before, it is not literal?” Rarity said with a shrug. “Or maybe they’re another example of two opposing Powers that can work well together.”

Rainbow Dash gave her a shrug back before looking at the clock and wincing. “Sorry Rares,” she said as she finished off her second breakfast. “I gotta go. Weather duty calls again; time to move another couple of clouds over to AJ’s place.”

“I quite understand, darling,” Rarity said. “It has been good to see you though. Shall we do this again sometime soon?”

“When I get the chance, Rares.” Rainbow Dash perked up. “Hey… maybe you and I and the rest of the girls could get together soon to try and figure this stuff out some more, huh?”

Rarity smiled. “That would be positively lovely,” she said. “Shall we say, this afternoon or evening? For dinner, perhaps?”

“I’ll pass it on, Rares. Gotta fly!”

With that, she headed out the door and took off towards the farm, doing her best to ignore the military field off in the distance and the growing wall around her home. As Ponyville was one of the closer towns to Canterlot and had all of them in it, it was deemed one of the more sensitive areas of Equestria that would have drastic consequences if the Storm King did make it this far into the country. Luna had prefered to be overprepared opposed to underprepared, and had called for defensive measures to be added as a precaution, along with calling in new recruits to build things up and Ponyville had the space to house said recruits.

She still wasn’t sure why Bon-Bon of all ponies had agreed to join the army right off the bat. The mare, as far as she knew, had spent most of her life making candy, and more recently teaching her niece to help out at the shop part-time. Not that the kid needed much help; those peppermint sticks of hers were delicious. But she had a hard time picturing Bon-Bon as a soldier.

Lyra had been inconsolable when Bon-Bon had announced her decision until a strange round of back and forth had led the two to proposing to each other and an impromptu wedding was held before the mare had finally left for training, leaving Lyra and her new niece-in-law’s mother Shimmy Shake in charge of the business end of the shop while little Twist and her father focused on the actual candy-making.

Rainbow Dash recalled how Rarity hadn’t even needed time to make the dresses; apparently this was one of the weddings her friend had been preparing for for a very long time. Rainbow Dash was still not sure if she should ask if she could see her dress, Celestia knew that Rarity had already made it, and ones for their other friends too. And a couple of tuxedos, just in case. The fashionista believed in being prepared.

Still recalling that, Rainbow Dash chuckled to herself; the only pony she knew who was anywhere near as wedding-crazy as her friend was Cadance, who had happily admitted to it when she popped in for Lyra’s wedding, having been invited by the bride long in advance. Rainbow Dash should have been surprised by that, but when Cadance reminded her that Lyra was one of her original choices of bridesmaids for her own wedding before Chrysalis took over, it all made sense.

She shook her head and wished she could remember all of that, but parts of it were still a blank after the massive sugar rush she’d had; she’d sworn off ever having any of Pinkie's Tutti-Frutti Sherbet Sugar Punch ever again after that incident.

Flaring her wings out she began to deal with the rainclouds over the farm, making sure the right parts of the farm got the right amount of water to help grow the apples and extra crops that Luna had asked Applejack to start growing. Armies marched on their stomachs, after all, and all the farms in Equestria were being asked to do a bit more at the benefit of tax bonuses.

Applejack herself was out in the fields when Rainbow Dash finished her work and swooped over the extra workers that her friend had employed to help with the extra crops being grown. “Hey,” Dash called out, ignoring the annoyed look the help were giving her but they didn’t dare say anything. After what happened with Slice, Granny Smith had called a meeting of the Apple matriarchs and instituted stricter guidelines for all those being hired at the farms to follow.

“Hey.” Applejack gave her the faintest of nods. “Kinda busy here… what’s up?”

“Dinner invitation. Rares’ place. Tonight.”

Applejack threw her a look. “Ah’ll see if Ah can make it,” she said. “Any particular reason?”

“It’s the five of us, if we can all make it,” Rainbow Dash said. “Thought we’d do a little brainstorming over this whole Powers business.”

Applejack sighed. “Ah’ll try to make it,” she said. “Gotta get back to work now.”

“Right. See ya!” Rainbow Dash took off, heading to her next stop. Sugarcube Corner was right along the way, and she knew Pinkie would be there. It was still operating as normal though she had heard some rumours that while they were also providing some of the provisions for the army base just outside of town, the shop might be asked to focus more heavily towards the army as things progressed.

When she dropped in, she saw Pinkie talking to a mostly gray mare with a purple mane and wearing a bluish frock. Seeing her, Pinkie instantly waved her over. “Hi, Dashie!”

“Hey, Pinkie.” Rainbow Dash walked over. “Who’s this?”

“This is my second-biggest sister, Maud!” Pinkie announced, pulling her into a hug that she somehow avoided being squished by, which made perfect sense as she was Pinkie’s sister. “She’s joined the army.”

“I hate to put my Rocktorate on hold, but if it’s to protect my parents and sisters, it’s worth it,” Maud said in a near-monotone. Yet Rainbow Dash could feel the absolute conviction in her voice. “Nice to meet you, Rainbow Dash. Pinkie, I’ll be back when training’s done for the day.” With that, she walked out.

“Wow.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “She’s… calm.”

Pinkie nodded. “Maud doesn’t show emotion quite like I do,” she said. “But she’s got a super-big heart.”

“Right.” Rainbow Dash decided not to think too much about it. “Rarity’s invited us all over for dinner,” she said. “To talk about that stuff we found out when Luna came by?”

Pinkie nodded, suddenly serious. “I’ll be there,” she said.

“Great.”

Making a quick order, she accepted the baked goods from Pinkie gave her, and headed back out. Next stop was Fluttershy’s.

The other pegasus was outside feeding her animals when Rainbow Dash flew overhead, slowing down so as not to startle her or the animals. “Hey, Flutters.”

“Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy looked excited. “Oh, it’s good you’re here…”

“What’s up?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Well, Mr. and Mrs. Hare just had another litter!”

“That’s great for them,” Rainbow Dash said. And she meant it. Fluttershy was always happy when things like this happened, and Rainbow Dash liked seeing her happy.

“The baby leverets are so cute,” Fluttershy told her. “They’ll actually be coming over soon; Mrs. Hare says they should be ready to watch after themselves in just an hour or so.”

“Sweet.” Rainbow Dash smiled. “Hey, Fluttershy?”

“Yes?”

“Rarity’s invited us all over for dinner tonight, to talk about the whole… well, what we and Discord have in common.” Rainbow Dash looked around. “Is he here, by the way?”

“He’s been very busy with helping Princess Luna,” Fluttershy said. “He says he’s doing as much as he can, without going against his Role and Purpose, but he also says it’s worth it.”

“Right.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “Well, if he’s able to help solve this problem somehow, good on him.”

Fluttershy nodded, then waved a hoof for her to be quiet. A moment later, a trio of little hares, already covered in fur, came bounding across the grass, and it took everything Rainbow Dash had not to squee. Sure, she wasn’t Flutters or Pinkie… but doggone it, they were cute little fuzzballs.


“Excuse me, Commander Luna,” Regal Banner, her bodyguard at her door, said as he poked his head through the door. “But she is back again.”

Luna sighed, and put down the intelligence papers she had been going over, and told him to send them through. They were starting to build up a picture of the Storm King’s forces and it seemed they were in for a troubling fight. Thankfully, Fancy Pants was doing a wonderful job at informing the citizens without scaring them into a panic and the country was gearing itself up for war, with the industry being shifted without too much ruffled feathers or protests springing up.

Though not everyone was truly accepting the new situation and were still fighting her in their own way.

Such as her.

Walking in her so-called military uniform, Spitfire directed a glare at her without so much as a salute as that uniform she wore demanded she do. The guards in her room narrowed their eyes at her presence, with Luna’s visible and hidden magic users already having their horns lit with colourless magic in preparation if something were to happen.

“Princess Luna, we need to talk,” the mare said, pawing the ground in frustration.

“That is Commander Luna for the duration of the war, Spitfire,” she said, doing her best not to sound annoyed. “I would appreciate if you could try to remember that.”

“And I would like the same for my title,” she shot back with Luna sighing internally while giving the mare a narrowed look of her own. “I just got your goons coming into-”

“Watch your words carefully,” Luna warned her. “You are acting brazenly informal to me and those who are serving our nation.”

“Your guards,” the mare spat at her. “Came to the Wonderbolt training arena and coliseum with a royal declaration that you are appropriating both of them!”

“That is correct, Spitfire,” Luna said, resting her head on her hooves. “Our winged portion of our forces need them for training and the needs of our army outweigh yours. Rest assured, you and your Wonderbolts will be compensated for their usages during the duration.”

“Ponyfeathers to that, Princess!” she snapped flaring out her wings. “I want to know why you have completely dismissed the Wonderbolts in all of your war councils and are pushing us to the side! We are Equestria’s elite airteam, we have been so since the founding of Equestria!”

Luna couldn’t hold back the snort though she knew it was wrong. “Perhaps in another time I would have brought the Wonderbolts into such meetings but you’ve long ceased to be a military force,” she said sharply. “You are entertainers with the strippings of a military structure that neither my sister or I have sought to remove formally as it was never worth the hassle. I ask you not waste my time in going through such motions now as every second is precious and leave my office now before I am forced to waste others' time by having you removed.”

“Buck it!” she swore again, slamming her hoof against the floor. “You are just making a general sweep of my forces; do you have any proof that you are right‽”

“Do you?,” Luna shot back, angry now. “If I were to call you to the battlefield to kill, would you be able to do so?” Luna rose from her chair and began to march over to the mare, who to her credit, did not flinch. “I am not even bothering to consider your team’s potential effectiveness right now, just yours Spitfire. Have you done anything the Wonderbolts of old have done to earn those stripes and their colours beyond simple seniority?” Luna stared down the mare who refused to blink or take a step backwards.

“Give. Me. The chance,” she snorted hotly and Luna found herself starting to smile. Far better than the usual complaints the mare had been lodging towards her over the last few weeks over the stadiums that she had been requisitioning for the army to use for training.

“Then do so, Spitfire,” Luna said. “Enlistment is open to all.” Except those who are clearly unfit, she thought to herself; a certain green pegasus stallion with a gold mane and a serious lack of stick-to-it-ness came to mind.

“I will,” Spitfire replied. “I will prove to you that the Wonderbolts still remember their roots.”

Luna nodded her head. “I will be keeping an eye on you and any ‘bolt that makes it through basic training.”

Spitfire was about to nod back before she stopped herself and slapped an almost acceptable military salute towards her. “Commander,” she said, sounding almost like the captain her ranks claimed her to be.

“Dismissed,” Luna said, watching the mare turn around and walk out the door. It was not up to military standards but Luna saw great potential in the mare and was looking forward to seeing what she could do.


“So,” Rarity was saying some hours later. “I have written down all that I know on the subject; this information is being kept strictly under wraps, of course.”

Applejack nodded. “Still find some of that stuff kinda disturbin’,” she muttered. “Ah mean, Lies? Oathbreaking? Cruelty? What kind of person would someone have to be to willingly spread those kinda things around?”

“They’re a balance of us,” Fluttershy reminded her. “Our Opposites. It’s only natural.”

“Still think it’s disturbin’,” Applejack said.

Pinkie nodded. “I don’t know if I’d be able to help myself,” she said. “If I ever met Sorrow, I couldn’t help but want to cheer them up, but… if I did that, I’d be making them go against themselves, and wouldn’t that be a bad thing?”

“Hey, Chrysalis spent years being a poor Self-Centeredness, and nothing happened to her for it until Discord stepped in,” Rainbow Dash reminded her. “A day or so of happiness wouldn’t hurt them. I don’t think, anyway.”

Fluttershy raised a hoof. “Maybe… maybe they’re supposed to help ponies express their sorrow when they need to?” she said hesitantly. “Instead of keeping it all bottled up inside?”

“Not a bad idea, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash said thoughtfully. “Crying therapy…”

“And a pony can’t be happy if they’re all sad inside, so they help them work through it,” Pinkie said. “I wonder… maybe there’s an Anger who helps ponies who get all mad all the time too!”

“If they are, it’s not part of this group,” Applejack said. “Might have to ask one of the Princesses or Discord.”

There was suddenly a whirl of motion on the ceiling, and a draconequus, a set of flames on the top of his head, appeared. “My ears are burning,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “Somepony mention my name?”

“Hey, Discord,” Rainbow Dash said. There’d been a time when she couldn’t stand to be around him, but with all the effort they’d put in together, she actually thought he was kinda cool now. “Got some questions for ya.”

“Ask away, my prismatic friend,” Discord said. “Remember though, while Oathbreaking may be a sub-Power of mine, I am still bound by certain Laws. With what I am, it might make sense to disobey them… but as I always say, where’s the fun in making sense?”

“Right.” Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. “First off, any word from Twilight?”

“Not since the last time,” Discord said. “But our little Twi-Twi is quite the charmer. I do believe she is well on the way to solving one end of this problem all on her own.”

That made them all smile. “Second… any way you can tell us more about these Powers of ours?”

Discord shook his head. “I am at the opposite pole from you, remember? It would go against my nature to give away too much about these things. But, I can tell you that I can stay within my limits and still make one more major push towards ending this conflict. Disharmony and Chaos are one thing, but this fool seeks to unbalance the cosmos. And believe you me, she’s already unbalanced enough as it is! Ah,” he raised a claw as Rarity started to open her mouth. “Enough of that. I did hear your little talk on the nature of my various sub-Powers, and I can say you’re closer than you might realize when it comes to identifying what the Roles and Duties are for some of them.”

“But you can’t say who any of them are, huh?” Applejack asked.

“Not a one, though I can say they’re all far better as people than Chrysalis was.” He frowned. “I still don’t know how that one slipped by me for so long,” he muttered. “But I’m not about to let it happen again. Why, I found this one person who would make a lovely Lady of Lies some day, if the position ever vacates. Except for one thing.”

“What’s that?” Pinkie asked curiously.

“She is a complete and utter sociopath, and I refuse to let someone like that become associated with me.” Discord looked disgusted. “Untruths are one thing, but her behavior is beyond the pale.”

“Eesh.” Applejack shuddered. “Guess Ah’m glad not to be associated with someone like that either.”

“Well, in their own way, the current Lies is perfect for the Role,” Discord said. “They don’t mean what they say, they don’t mean what they do and they don’t mean what they are." He suddenly looked at his blank wrist. “Oh, look at the time. I must be off. See you for tea soon, Fluttershy.”

“Wait, one more thing Discord,” Rainbow Dash said, causing him to pause. “If things get really bad, can you bring Twi back?”

Discord looked at her, a vague smile on his face. “If all goes as it is heading now, this problem will mean she won’t have to be brought back.”

With that, he popped out, leaving five bemused and somewhat worried mares.

“Either he’s sayin’ somethin’ real bad’s about to happen…” Applejack muttered.

“Ooooor, the Storm King’s about to get his furry tush kicked all the way to Tartarus and back, so Twilight can keep on touring without worrying about him anymore!” Pinkie said.

“I do hope you’re right, Pinkie,” Rarity said. “For everyone’s sakes, I hope it’s you who’s right.”

“Come on, this is Twilight we’re talkin’ about here,” Dash said. “I mean, she managed to topple PVE without even being here. I’m sure she’s about to find a way to deal with that blowhard jerk so no one has to go fight.”

“And even if she doesn’t, Luna is pulling the world together to deal with him so she will be safe no matter where she is,” Rarity said, placing a hoof on Dash’s. “All we can do is…”

“Be supportive,” Dash grumbled but already regretting being dragged into this conversation again. Looking at Rarity, she could see the unicorn was also regretting her own words.

“Look Dashie,” Applejack said with a sigh. “Ah know ya want to go and help by joinin’ but ya have ta admit Luna was right.”

“I know that,” Rainbow Dash shot back. “I know we’re no doubt massive targets along with being these Powers, and I still agree with Luna keeping us in Ponyville for our safety but I don't have to like it.”

“You know, there’s one more thing we can all do,” Pinkie said cheerfully. “And cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye, I know what I’m talking about.” Her eyes seemed to glow.

“What’s that?” Applejack asked.

Pinkie, her eyes still gleaming, spoke in what seemed to be two voices. “Just cheer up and never ever give up hope!”

Then the glow faded, and she shook her head. “Wowie zowie, that felt weird.”

“Pinkie… what just happened?” Fluttershy asked.

“For a moment… I felt the edges of something more,” Pinkie said softly. “Girls, I think another Power just visited me. We had the same message for us all.”

There was a silence as they all tried to process this.

“Whoever that was, thank you,” Rarity said quietly. “Thank you, so much.”

A moment later, as they listened with eyes and ears wide, there was a twinkling in the air that seemed to say, “You’re welcome.”


Twilight let out a sigh. This was it; quite possibly the biggest and most important moment of her life.

It had taken her a lot of careful work to get this far. The minotaurs had proven very helpful, once she had seen their lands and proven her worth to them, and they had given her what she had asked for in both information and physical needs. She had found herself enjoying her time there; while many were as boisterous as Iron Will had been, they had also shown themselves to be a good-hearted people, and had been very welcoming to her even if they’d doubted her toughness at first.

She still didn’t think too highly of that Well-To-Do though. Of all the minotaurs she’d met, he was the only one of them she didn’t care for - there was something about him that just rubbed her the wrong way.

Now, she was halfway across the world from where she had started her initial voyage, in a land far from both Equestria and the Minos Islands. And now, she was ready to take that step she had decided on. A step that she knew put herself at risk, but if it worked out… well, then it would quite possibly allow her to save everyone.

With Spike back at the safe point she had chosen, she stepped forward, heading towards the place where the pony she’d been seeking was currently lairing. Hoping, above all hopes, that they would be willing to listen to her, and give her some answers.

Approaching the door that the innkeeper had pointed her to, she reached up and knocked. “Um, hello? Commander? Are you in there?”

Hoofsteps sounded, and then the door opened, revealing a tall, dark orchid mare with a broken horn. And Commander Tempest Shadow looked down at her, before saying just one word.

“Yes?”