• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2019
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JustAnotherHistoryBuff


I am into history, whether it be on warfare or maritime disasters. Also a Titanic enthusiast excited for Titanic Honor and Glory.

T

The death of Jay Gatsby was the most profound incident to ever occur in Nick Carraway's life. Though the man was a fraud, he still saw him as a friend. Now all alone, Nick is the only attendee at Gatsby's funeral. Just after the funeral, Nick has a chance encounter and soon finds himself face to face with a resurrected Gatsby in the middle of a dark alley in Manehattan with nothing more than two suitcases full of clothes and that yellow convertible. Now it is up to them to go wherever they shall please in the new world they are in.

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Great Gatsby at all. This is a fanfiction so no problem should occur there.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 7 )

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Great Gatsby at all. This is a fanfiction so no problem should occur there.

This is now top of my reading list, but man... you would'a been in the clear if you had just waited until 2021 when it entered Public Domain.

10146725
Pardon my French but.....
























FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

Hey clicked on this since I’m a fan of the book...not so much the film.

I really feel like this was rushed. There’s a lot of spelling and grammar errors. The dialogue feels wooden. Everything is told and nothing is shown. It feels so random and kinda nonsensical for Discord to just show up and take Nick away from all his problems.

The whole point of Fitzgerald’s narrative is that Gatsby has nothing left to do but die. After he can no longer accomplish his dream of being with Daisy, he is left with nothing. His immaculate home, wealth and luxurious lifestyle mean nothing if he’s got nothing to strive for. The book shows us the shallowness of the upperclass and how the American Dream keeps us in a constant state of longing.

I’m not American myself and I read the book in high school but I’m afraid nothing about this even remotely feels connected to the characters or themes of the novel.

The movie does an okay job of telling the story but it really misses a lot of the nuance and posterity of the book. It’s look pretty, but it’s very shallow. It lacks depth.

I’m not sure how much of what’s going on I’m meant to take seriously but when Discord just showed up and announced who he was and everything it felt...bizzare. Nick doesn’t even question much of what’s going on.

The whole point of The Great Gatsby is that Gatsby dies. Otherwise Nick wouldn’t have written about him. He was the only person who truly appreciated him. It’s the shallowness of the upper class that causes them to shun him and yet at the same time, take every advantage of his hospitality that he can. Gatsby might not’ve been as sophisticated or as well mannered as those around him due to his upbringing, and as hard as he tried to fit it was clear to everyone that he wasn’t the same as them. He tried to be but he was never going to be. I really do think Daisy knew that, and so after he didn’t return from the war soon enough, she married someone who wasn’t posing. Tom was the heir to one of the wealthiest families in America. He had enough money to get anything he wanted, even Daisy. She had to marry someone rich, it was expected of her. She knew Gatsby wasn’t rich, even if he tried to make it seem that way.

Gatsby’s death is a poignant part of both the book and the movie. Bringing him back to life means that the events of the book no longer hold any meaning. His life holds no meaning.

Look, I’m not trying to crap all over your work. I’m just very fond of the source material and feel like if you’re going to tackle a great American novel maybe you should just slow down and think it through a little more.

What are Nick and Gatsby even gonna do in Equestria? What’s the motivation? What are they chasing? Are they still human? It just doesn’t make much sense.

I do hope you find this feedback useful though.

- Arcelia

Well, this is the first time I've seen a crossover with anything relating to F. Scott Fitzgerald, so points for originality, I guess.

But having read this chapter, I find myself agreeing with Arcelia. The writing and dialogue doesn't quite capture the Low Modernist feel of Fitzgerald's prose, and the narrative is riddled with spelling and grammar errors. To name two;

1. You keep using 'its' and 'it's' incorrectly. 'it's' is short for 'it is'. For instance;

As the coffin was finally lowered it's 6 feet

This means, 'the coffin was finally lowered it is 6 feet', which doesn't make sense. I believe you meant;

As the coffin was finally lowered its 6 feet

2. Hitting the wrong key on the keyboard. At one point, Discord talks of 'Me Gatsby', when I think you meant 'Mr Gatsby'.

However, this is just the first chapter, and there's plenty of room for improvement. Keep writing, and you'll get there.

10146771

10146953
Thank you for the much needed feedback gentlemen (or ladies). In response to this feedback, I will be putting this "on hiatus" until I fix it. I could not thank you enough.

"Good day, old sport."

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