Chapter 12: Griffon the Missin'
"My name is Shawn Spencer. And I, my good sir, am a professional psychic."
The stallion gaped at him, confusion plain on his face. Actually, simply calling it confusion would be a disservice to the war of epic proportions playing out on the bureaucrat's features. Curiosity was pushing through the lines of annoyance, confusion looking to flank consternation, and indecision fighting a pitched battle against resignation.
The guard dogs looked on, hesitating to act in the face of their employer's uncertainty.
Shawn smiled, holding up one quick finger to Pinkie's snout before she could contradict a statement she knew to be utterly ridiculous. Thankfully, miraculously, she held her silence.
"And this fine filly over here is my assistant and spiritual gatekeeper, Pinkalicious Dana Weaver. If that's too long for you, she also answers to Zuul," he leaned forward and whispered ominously, "but I wouldn't say that name too often. Who knows what you might summon..."
In an instant, curiosity, confusion, and resignation defeated their respective foes, that last touch of mystery turning the battle in their favor.
"Look, I'm a little busy here... what do you want?" the stallion asked, scratching uncomfortably at a short patch of black mane near the nape of his neck.
"What do I want, he asks!" Shawn turned to face Pinkie and laughed uproariously, prompting her to giggle along. Suddenly, he turned, once again remorselessly invading the unicorn's personal space, "It's not about what I want. It's about what you need."
"What? What does that even-"
"As an individual uniquely connected to the spiritual world, I am very receptive to the psychic waves that radiate from those in need... whether they know it or not." Shawn continued, heedless, "In other words, I have mucho mojo, and it has brought me here, at this time, to this place... to you." he emphasized the last word with a soft poke to the stallion's chest.
The pony grimaced, using the clipboard held in his front-right hoof to wipe imaginary dust from his tailored suit, and incidentally exposing its face to Shawn in the process.
"That's real nice and all... Shawn..." he spat out the name, like one might spit out an unexpectedly rotten cherry, "but I don't buy into all that tribal mumbo-jumbo. And if you're looking to ply your zebra-shit trade around here, you'll have to take it up with the performer's guild on the west shore. Now, if you'll excuse me."
Shawn grinned, holding up his hands and taking a step back as the stallion turned to face the nameless sea-mare, "Well... the fates can't say I didn't try. It was nice finally meeting you in person, Scroll. And, may I say, that new haircut - or is it manecut? - looks downright fabulous on you... it's a shame you won't get to enjoy it for all that long..."
Scroll froze, his coat turning a distinctly lighter shade of blue.
Inwardly, Shawn high-fived himself as he put an arm around the floating Pinkie (who was thankfully right-side up at the time) and started his dramatically slow walk away from the shocked unicorn.
Aaaand three, two, one...
"Wait!"
Shawn turned on a dime, forcing a wide-eyed Scroll to screech to a halt in front of him.
"I know we've never met before... how did you know my name? Or about my manecut!? And what did you mean by that last bit!?"
"Well, I am the type of guy who can appreciate a good do." Shawn ran a hand through his own luxurious locks, only slightly worse for wear from the lack of styling gel and rampant humidity, "And, I already told you how I know..."
Because your name was written at the top of that ship-manifest report you're carrying. Shawn didn't voice the thought, though the matching cutie-mark on the unicorn's rump had certainly confirmed it.
"No, no, no! The bit after that! What..." Scroll lowered his voice, glancing about conspiratorially, "what do you mean I 'won't get to enjoy it'?"
Shawn shrugged, "The visions weren't fully clear on that point. You have to understand... not even I can always interpret the full meaning behind the spirits when they urge me prevent a horrible fate. But, I can tell you this: you should probably avoid your boss for a while, at least until things cool down a bit."
"My... boss?" Scroll looked confused.
"No, not that boss." Shawn prompted and, after a moment, the pony paled even more, "That boss." he finished with a knowing smile.
Sweat began to pour from the unicorn's brow, "What... what'll happen if I don't?"
Looking the unicorn over, Shawn rubbed his temples and hummed, temporizing before inspiration struck him, "Remember what happened to the last guy that tried to sell him out?"
Now hyperventilating, Scroll glanced back at the deep waters of the river and shuddered, "B-but... but I-I didn't... I swear.."
Once again, Shawn leaned forward to whisper into the pony's ear, "Isn't that exactly what the last guy said?"
Scroll's eyes dilated as he started shaking, somehow remaining on his hooves, "W-What... what d-do I..."
"Run away, Scroll..." Shawn said in a low, dangerous pitch, "Run. Run away and never return."
With a barely suppressed squeal, Scroll tossed aside his clipboard and dashed off, shocking the diamond dog guards confused muttering.
At least, until Shawn casually mused aloud to them, "He did remember to pay you guys for your services... right?"
In unison, the guards glanced at each other before growling and sprinting off after the terrified extortionist, ensuring that Scroll wouldn't stop to try to verify any of Shawn's claims.
Shawn watched them all run off, smiling and humming a little tune to himself.
"Wow." Pinkie chipped in from over his shoulder, "That was really mean."
Once again, Shawn shrugged, "Sometimes, Surprise, you have to be mean to get something done in a hurry. Or because it's funny. This time, it just happened to be both."
A hard object collided with his back, nearly sending Shawn tumbling. He turned, wincing, to find lady-cappy, her hoof up and grinning wildly. Apparently, getting clapped on the back by a pony was somewhat like getting hit with a thrown brick.
"That was amazin'! I didn'a realize you be an actual trained shaman! I 'eard the zebras never trained outsiders... which tribe did ye live with?"
"Ow..." Shawn muttered under his breath, "I... uhh... the... Rafiki tribe."
Lady-cappy tilted her head, eyebrows scrunching, "Huh... they an inland tribe?"
"Yup... they're very underground, so you wouldn't have heard of 'em."
Shaking her head, the sea-mare continued, "Well, wherever they be, they got ye trained good." she paused and chuckled nervously, rubbing at the back of her neck, "Listen... thanks for that. An'... sorry 'bout the way I kicked ye off me boat earlier."
"Happens to me a lot, actually. I guess some people are just immune to my rogueish charm." Shawn stretched, trying work out the kink that lady-cappy's exuberance had put in his back.
The sea-mare stared at him with eyebrows raised for a solid five seconds, before shaking her head, "Right... well, if ye 'adn't come back an' done what ye did, I'd probably be short most o' my cargo an' all o' my bits. An' I'm not the type o' mare to be in somepony's debt. So, what can I do to repay ye?"
"Oh, no, really! Don't worry about it!" Pinkie smiled happily, "It's what friends do for each oth- mmph hmmh mhmm?"
Shawn had quickly reached over and clamped a hand around Pinkie's muzzle, muffling the rest of her statement.
"Actually," he smiled, "There is one thing you could help us out with."
---------------------------------
"The Shadow!? Are ye nuts!?"
Shawn and Pinkie looked at each other, then back at her, and shrugged.
"Right... stupid question." lady-cappy sighed and brought a hoof to her forehead.
The three of them sat in her cabin, a small room with a simple cot in one corner and a table in the middle. Both were bolted to the floor.
"Look," she started again, "I do owe ye for what ye did... but I been keepin' outta that crazy monster's business for a reason."
"I don't suppose it's because you disagree on whether cheese makes a better topping than chocolate? It's cheese, by the way." Shawn deadpanned.
His little addendum caused Pinkie to narrow her eyes at him. She'd been holding back an awful lot since he'd restarted his psychic act, and he got the distinct impression he was going to hear all of it sooner rather than later.
Lady-cappy chuckled and shook her head, "Nah, boy-o. That thing's not natural... it's got a lotta power, lotta influence, an' a lotta disappeared critters under its name. The exporters I work for all work for it - 'an it makes business hard, there's no 'elpin' that - but, I ain't never 'ad to deal with it directly, an' I never will if I can 'elp it. I don' work with killers."
Shawn pondered the sea-mare's words for a minute. Her unwillingness to help was a pretty huge setback for him. After all, she was his only real lead at the moment.
"Wait... I don't get it. Why go to all the trouble of avoiding The Shadow if you're just going to work for the peop- creatures who work for it, anyway? It's obviously not an ethical issue."
"Well, I-"
"And it's not like you can't find other work, or leave the city. I mean... yeah, having worked for it means its goons would chase you if you ran, but you're a tough mare. There's no way you're scared of a few..."
The smuggler's eyes were glued to the floorboards, while an errant, blue hoof rubbed at her shoulder. She was frowning, but not in anger.
"You're scared of The Shadow, aren't you?"
"O' course I be scared o' The Shadow!" she growled and stiffened, "No pony in their righ' minds wouldn'a be!" Her eyes glared into his, daring him to say something.
Recognizing this as the moment he'd been waiting for, Shawn made a snap decision, "What if I told you I lied?"
"Whu-...?"
Shawn pressed forward over the table, "What if I told you we're not looking to work for The Shadow. That we're actually already working for someone who doesn't like The Shadow very much?"
Lady-cappy furrowed her eyebrows, "Who?"
"Someone with enough influence, power, and money to hire Equestria's only interdimensional psychic to find The Shadow and figure out its weaknesses," Shawn grinned, never breaking eye contact, "Someone who doesn't like murderous magical monsters muscling in on their turf."
The mare's eyes remained fixated on his as Shawn continued.
"Let me ask you something. Don't you wish things could go back to the way they were? Before the takeover?"
The nod came slowly, but it came nonetheless.
"We," Shawn pointed at himself and the scowling Pinkie Pie, "are here to make that happen. And, I assure you, when I say something's going to happen, it happens."
The mare leaned back with a sigh, "That's all well an' good, Shawn. But, I still can'na help you get in touch with'it. Even if I knew where to find it... I don' need that kinda exposure. 'Specially if whatever yer plannin' don' work."
Once again, Shawn paused to think, grasping at anything that might take them another step forward.
"Okay. All the exporters work for The Shadow, right? What if you just hook us up up with one of them? Preferably the aging patriarch of a powerful crime dynasty on the day of his daughter's wedding."
There was an brief moment of awkward silence as lady-cappy tried to process his words, "So... you wanna meet with one o' the big exporters, then?"
"The most powerful one you've worked for. Better chance he'll be reporting directly to The Shadow. And, as a bonus, using him as a proxy keeps you out of the limelight."
"An'..." lady-cappy leaned forward, bringing her face to within inches of his, "yer sure you an' yer friend can get rid o' that bottom-feedin' monstrosity?"
Shawn's grin widened as he stuck out his hand, "You do your part, and the spirits guarantee it, cappy."
"It's Wavedancer," she returned his grin and slapped her hoof into his hand, "An' mate, ye got yerself a deal."
The hoof-handshake only lasted for a second before Wavedancer took her appendage back, "I think I know who ye need to be talkin' to, but 'e's on the Western shore. I'll go get the lines undone, an' we'll work out yer plan on the way." She stepped past him and Pinkie on her way out the door, but paused before she left the cabin, "Oh, and Shawnee... it be a real honor workin' wit'a Zebra-trained Shaman. If it 'tweren't for that, I'd'ave little hope of you bein' able to get this done."
Shawn shot her a wink and a wave as she stepped out, then turned to find a still scowling Pinkie looking right at him, hooves crossed and eerily silent.
"Uhhh..."
"You've been doing a lot of lying, mister. Even to ponies that we made friends with." She floated into the air, advancing until her nose was touching Shawn's and his back was against the wall, "Don't you know that breaking a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose them forever?"
"Well, I-"
"Fooooreeeeeveeeeeeeeeeer..."
Blinking, Shawn paused and waited for her to finish hissing the word out before continuing, "Pinkie, I don't like it either."
Though it seemed impossible, she further narrowed her eyes at him
"Okay... maybe I like it a little bit... force of habit, what can I say? But you heard what Wavedancer said. If she didn't think I had special powers, she'd be too scared to get involved. And then where would that leave us?"
Pinkie sighed and backed up a bit, eyes softening, "I know... I just don't like any of this. Twilight's always been the pony with a plan, but now I'm supposed to be the one keeping you out of trouble!? I can barely keep myself out of trouble, half the time!"
"Pinkie P-"
"And the worst part is that you keep going off and doing things without telling anypony! What if something happens? What if you get hurt, or worse!? Princess Celestia personally asked me to keep you safe! You're my responsibility, but you're a bigger hoof-full than the Cakes' kids! And cheese is not a better topping than chocolate! In this or any other dimension!"
By the end of her incensed speech, Pinkie had once again shoved Shawn back into the wall by his nose, her own nostrils spewing steam as she huffed.
"Wow." Shawn muttered as his own cornered reflection stared back at him from the mare's huge, blue eyes, "Okay... is there anything I can say to make you feel better? And, possibly, get back my personal space?"
Pinkie brought a hoof to her chin and hummed, but did not retreat. After a moment's thought, she suddenly shoved the hoof onto his chest, "Pinkie promise!"
"Uhhh... what-...?"
"Repeat after me: I, Shawn Spencer, Pinkie Promise to not do anything stupidly dangerous or leave me - Pinkie Pie - behind for any reason! Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"
With a flourish, Pinkie backed up and made a crossing motion over her chest, followed by touching a hoof to her eyelid.
Shawn hesitated, but said the words and followed suit, opting to cover his eye with the palm of his hand instead of actually poking himself. The angry mare watched him carefully the whole way through.
"There. Happy?"
Pinkie stared at him a bit longer, before switching back to her usual, bubbly demeanor, "Yup-a-roonie!"
It was startling, how quick she was to take his word at face value, especially after one of her complaints had been about all the lies he kept falling back on. It made him wonder if there was something special he didn't know about the wording of the promise. He was going to ask her about it, but was interrupted when the boat lurched around them, signaling that it was time to go hash out a rough plan with Wavedancer.
Shawn shrugged and followed Pinkie out of the cabin, making sure to uncross the fingers on his left hand before taking them out of his pocket. He didn't want to have to break his promise... but one never knew, after all.
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Wind played trough Twilight's mane, whipping it back as she took in every detail of the sights ahead. She had to admit, Cauldron did not look nearly so bad as reports made it out to be from this vantage point.
"Somethin' on your mind, suga'cube?"
She turned to face Applejack, levering herself up and taking her hooves off the railing on the bow of the ship, "Just admiring the view." she replied with a stiff smile.
Applejack smiled back, though it was decidedly more wry than her own. The farm-pony had always been able to tell when others were lying... or, in this case, telling a partial truth.
"Okay, okay. I'm worried about them. I can't help it..." Twilight admitted.
"You always were the worryin' sort," Applejack grinned and stepped up next to her, looking out over the calm river waters and towards the low sky-line that represented their mutual destination, "Ah gotta admit, though, this time ya got good reason t'be."
A giggle escaped past the unicorn's lips, "The way you talk makes me think you don't trust them."
"Oh, Ah trust Pinkie," AJ replied with a frown, "It's Shawn Ah'm worried about..."
Twilight raised an eyebrow, prompting her friend to continue.
Applejack sighed, "Maybe that's the wrong way o' puttin' it. Ah know Shawn's doin' his best to help us when he could jus' sit back and wait for the princesses to find a way to get'im home. And I know he's been gettin' the job done. I guess the way he goes about it just... sticks in my craw, is all."
"You are the element of Honesty," Twilight mused, "and Shawn hasn't exactly been doing things... well... honestly."
Applejack shook her head, "It's not even that. Ah ain't ignorant, sometimes lies really can help under the right circumstances. Heck, even good friends lie t'each other time an' again."
"Then...?"
"It's..." The orange mare paused, seemingly gathering her thoughts, "It's the way he's always takin' all these risks. He don't think ahead at all. Like he don't care none what happens so long as the job gets done. Or as if he's got somethin' he's tryin' t'prove, if ya get my meanin'. An' I'm scared that he'll end up hurtin' himself... or somepony else... tryin' to do it."
Twilight paused, pondering Applejack's words. In a way, it made sense. But, against all reason and logic, she'd grown to trust the strange alien. As much or more so than Rainbow Dash, who'd claimed that he'd tried to get her to leave him behind to warn everypony else about the explosion at the embassy. The pegasus had immediately taken to Shawn after that blatant display of courage and loyalty, and would brook no negative talk of the human from anypony.
"Listen, AJ, I think tha-"
"Miss Sparkle. Miss Applejack." an armored, charcoal unicorn cleared his throat from behind them, shoving whatever Twilight was going to say out of her mind, "We're on final approach to the city. Please get ready to disembark and meet with general Rex for debriefing."
"Thanks... uhhh..."
"Private Bolster, m'am."
"Right. Thanks, Bolster." Twilight sighed. It wasn't like she had a problem remembering names, but those enchantments on their armor literally made them all look the same.
The unicorn guard nodded somberly and cantered off, probably to report to captain Aegis. The captain had taken a very active role in their little expedition, personally chartering the ship that would take them all to the "Free City". He'd even sent a personal message to the captain of Cauldron's guard, one general Rex, by dragonfire. Apparently, he knew the old dog from way back in his days as a student at the Oxenford Guard Academy.
"Come on, Twi," Applejack smiled at her as she walked after the guard, "We don't wanna be late for fer our meetin'."
They pulled up to the docks of what Twilight had been told was the North shore. Ropes, glowing in several colors from the various sailors of the crew, writhed out from portholes set in the side of the ship and secured it to the pier. At the same time, a wide plank slid out and touched down at the feet of a group of diamond dogs in resplendent plate armor.
The guards stood in two parallel lines, forming a corridor of steel leading up to a large, very rotund dog covered in enough gold jewelry to give ambassador Bones a run for his bits.
Twilight stood next to Aegis, with Dash, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy forming groups of two behind her and the captain. Behind them was the rest of the complement from Canterlot, with lieutenant Gladius in the lead. She couldn't help but admire the captain and his guards' implacability as they made their way past the double-row of armed diamond dogs.
For her part, Twilight couldn't help but glance up at the visored visages of the Cauldron guard. It was during one of these glances that she noticed a flight of similarly armored griffons patrolling the skies.
"They really pulled out all the stops, didn't they?" she muttered.
"You and your friends just stay quiet and let me handle this." the captain replied under his breath, startling her into silence.
She hadn't thought she'd spoken loudly enough to be heard.
"Windy! It's been a long time, pal! How've ya been!?" A deep, rumbling voice called out from ahead of them, drawing Twilight's gaze to the bedazzled diamond dog up front.
"General Rex." Aegis intoned from his position next to her as they walked right up to the general.
"Aw... come on. Is that any way to talk to an old Academy buddy?"
"It's been over twenty years, general. We both have ranks now, and the responsibilities that come with them."
The general grinned wryly, incidentally showing off his long canines, "Right... you've got yourself a new name and everything now. Look at us... the general and the hero captain. Who'd've ever thunk it?" His gaze shifted over to Twilight and her friends, "And what've we got here? The famed Elements of Harmony... truly an honor."
Rex leaned forward and extended a paw, in which Twilight deposited her hoof after only a moment's hesitation. Solemnly, he touched it to his forehead before releasing her appendage. From the books she'd read, this was how high ranking dogs traditionally greeted war heroes, rather than nobility. She felt strangely honored by the distinction.
"Wellp... no use standing around out here." Rex continued, "Let's get back to the mansion and work things out over a drink, eh?"
Wordlessly, the captain followed Rex as the diamond dog turned to walk away. Apparently, the rest of the Cauldron guard took this as their own cue, because each and every one of them turned in perfect synchronicity and marched off toward a large, salmon-colored mansion.
"Don't you start now, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity muttered from behind her.
Twilight remembered Dash's propensity for trying to get a reaction out of the straight-laced pony guards - she'd pestered them nonstop the entire ride over - and was glad the fashionista was there to keep the pegasus in line.
After a relatively short walk, they all made their way past a set of intricate, iron-work gates into the Cauldron Guard compound, which in all honesty resembled a mansion more than anything else.
"Welcome to the Fortress!" Rex exclaimed proudly, waving his paws at the large building flanked by lush gardens. The guard dogs spread out in formation, digging the butts of their pikes into the ground when they came to a stop.
"Fortress?" Dash snickered, "Looks more like a resort than a fortre-oof! Hey!"
Rarity's timely elbow probably saved them all some embarrassment.
The general only smiled and tapped the side of his nose with a claw, "There's no need for tall walls on the North shore. The riffraff tend to stick to the Eastern side."
"General... we are in a bit of a hurry." captain Aegis grumbled.
Sighing, Rex motioned for them to follow as he stepped into the building, walking briskly through the lobby before entering a lavishly decorated meeting room with a magnificent view of the gardens outside. Only Aegis, Twilight, and the rest of the Elements followed him in, while the guardponies took up positions just outside.
"So," Rex started as he slumped onto a couch, "what brings you all the way out here to 'the heart of the world', Windy?"
"It's Aegis now." the captain replied, electing to stand, "Royal Guard Captain Aegis Fidelis."
Rex whistled as Twilight and her friends made themselves comfortable on the various couches that littered the room, "Two Names? You've been real busy since I last saw you, Win-... captain Aegis."
Aegis looked around, his eyes trailing over the expensive luxury that oozed from every inch of the room. Twilight herself couldn't help but contrast it with the relatively spartan efficiency of the Royal Guard headquarters back in Canterlot.
"I'm not the only one, it seems." he muttered.
Apparently, Rex heard him, because he proceeded to chuckle, "Cauldron's been good to me."
"The exporters, you mean." Aegis challenged.
"Aw... don't be like that. It's not like anybody can do anything about it. Three hundred dogs, seventy-five griffons, and forty ponies under my command, and I'm expected to keep a sprawl twice the size of Canterlot under control? Working with 'em's the only way to keep the peace around here... and it's the only way I've been able to stick around for more than a week."
Twilight could only half keep up with the conversation. It was clear to her, at least, that Aegis was decidedly not happy about meeting his old... "academy buddy"... under these circumstances. She suspected that their lack of correspondence in the past might have been more due to Aegis avoiding the old dog out of disgust than anything else.
The pony captain shook his head, "I didn't come here to talk would'ves and could'ves, Rex. I have a fugitive to hunt, and I intend to do it. Your 'permission' would be much appreciated."
The diamond dog general gazed blankly past them, seemingly lost in his own memories, before speaking, "Normally, I'd never let a foreign military do as they please around here... but you've always been as single-minded as they come, Windy, even back then. So, tell you what, I'll make an exception for old times' sake, but you have to promise to keep a low profile."
"I'll do what I can, general." Aegis nodded, engendering an awkward silence that seemed to stretch into infinity.
"Sooo... care to stick around for that drink?" Rex offered lightly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
The captain grimaced, then finally spoke up, cold anger in his voice, "What happened to you, Rex? I remember a proud young guard dog who was going to fix the world, starting with this city." His eyes trailed over the plush furniture, gilded walls, and sizable paunch of the general before he continued, "You were my role model. Now look at you."
Rex's eyes narrowed, his lips turning down at the corners just enough to reveal the tips of sharp teeth designed for ripping and tearing, "Reality happened, Windy. This place bigger bite than any one dog can chew... as predecessors will happily tell if you care to go diving into deep part of river." The dog stopped and took a deep, shuddering breath, forcing a smile back unto his face.
Twilight noticed that he'd slipped back into an accent similar to the ex-ambassador's for a bit there. She also noticed that the two "Academy buddies" had gone back to staring at each other, this time neither willing to break the silence.
"Well," Rarity sighed out loudly from her spot on a particularly thickly cushioned couch, "I'm glad you two have had a chance to catch up on old times - always wonderful to visit with old friends - but I'm afraid that we do have a job to get on with. Right, captain?"
Aegis shook his head, as if coming out of a trance, and nodded, "Right. Thanks for your cooperation, general. We'll report in as soon as we catch the fugitive and get out of your fur."
Rex's lips twitched downward once again, but quickly returned to the wide smile he'd worn when they'd arrived, "Much appreciated, captain."
The other Elements made their way out of the room first, while Rainbow Dash muttered sullenly, "Well, that was awkwa-oof! Stop that!"
Following after them, Twilight turned to see Aegis lingering before the general, an inscrutable expression on his face.
"Rex...-"
"Good luck, Windy."
The two briefly shared a look that Twilight recognized immediately, she'd shared it with her own friends so many times. Someday, she'd have to get the whole story out of the captain.
Suddenly, the moment passed, frowns returned, and Aegis turned sharply and practically pushed her all the way out of the compound.
They made their way back to their ship, as the captain spoke up loudly enough for them all to hear. Recognizing a lecture when she heard one, Twilight quickly extracted a quill and parchment from her saddlebags, ready to take notes.
"We'll start our search on the East shore, since that's where most of the exporters hang out. Shawn'll probably have started there."
"Um..." a soft voice squeaked from within their group.
"I'll need all of you to keep your wits about you. This isn't Canterlot, so your safety isn't guaranteed."
"Excuse me... Captain...?"
"Also, keep an eye out for any strange or suspicious behavior. We don't want to pass up on any possible-" Aegis's spiel was interrupted by a yellow hoof tapping at his shoulder, "Yes, Fluttershy? You have a question?"
"Does that count as strange and suspicious behavior?"
Their gazes followed Fluttershy's pointing hoof to a group of uniformed griffons disembarking from a ferry. There wouldn't have been anything strange about it, except they were doing so while dancing in a conga line and singing terribly out of tune.
"Well, either Discord's gotten loose again, or we just found ourselves our first sign a' Pinkie Pie." Applejack chuckled.
"Let's go." Aegis started forward, a determined look on his face.
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"A'right, just don' forget what I tol' ye, Shawnee."
"I'll have you know that I boast a nearly flawless memory, Wavy."
"Really? Then what'd I tell ye?"
"Something about not eating chocolate after midnight and looking both ways before crossing the street. I think I also heard something about a chupacabra in there somewhere, though, I'll be honest, that might just be wishful thinking."
Wavedancer stopped walking to slap a hoof to her face, causing Pinkie to bump into her from behind. The three of them were making their way down a particularly dark and ominous alley in the shipping district of the West shore. Apparently, one of the wooden side entrances that occasionally dotted the sides of the buildings would lead them to where Patrius, the crime lord, waited.
"Jus'... don' make direct eye contact with any o' them, 'specially Patrius. Doin' that's a challenge in griffon culture. An' let me do the talkin', unless ye get asked a question directly. That goes for both o' ye, unnerstand?"
She waited for both him and Pinkie to nod before moving forward and knocking on a plain door, visibly identical to the others they'd passed.
"What's yer business?" a voice growled out from behind the old wood.
"It's the Cap'n o' the Rough Seas. I'm here ta see Patrius."
"... 'e's busy. Come back next week."
"Oh, is 'e? Well, I suppose I'll 'ave to tell'im tomorrow 'bout how he got bit in the ass by an urgent matter, 'cause 'e was so busy, his dog wouln'a check with'im afore turnin' away 'is friend."
There was a moment of silence, before a long, drawn out sigh broke it, "Come on in."
The door creaked open into the candle-lit dimness of a small room, occupied by a large diamond dog holding an equally large mallet. He led them down a hallway, where they stopped in front of another door.
"This better be real important, 's'all I'm sayin'." the nameless dog muttered before opening it and waving them through.
The room they were now in was huge... comparable in size to the throne room back at Canterlot, though where that was composed of marble and gold, this was old wood and iron. Neatly stacked wooden crates lined the walls and formed aisles, and Shawn realized they were standing in what essentially amounted to a small warehouse. Much more well-kept that the massive storage buildings he'd seen back on the East shore, but a warehouse nonetheless.
Pinkie Pie sniffed the musty air, and let out a resounding sneeze, earning a scowl from Wavedancer.
"Oopsie..."
With a sigh, she led them toward the back. Shawn could soon see a massive, wooden desk, illuminated by the light of several lanterns and presided over by a scarred, old griffon. Several more griffons walked about, packing and sorting boxes while a cream-colored, red maned pony in a suit took inventory.
Now, Shawn wasn't familiar with griffon body-language like he was with ponies...
Oh... wow... it's weird that that thought isn't weird anymore.
... but he was pretty sure that this particular griffon looked rather haggard and sleep-deprived. Patrius, as Wavedancer had called him, absently tapped out a steady beat with one claw as he watched them approach.
"Wavedancer, this better be important."
Shawn suppressed his surprise at Patrius's knowledge of the sea-mare's true name. There was probably a story there, somewhere, but they didn't have time for it now.
"Yeh, boss. I got a prime business opportunity for ye." Wavedancer replied, keeping a steady gaze on the griffon's beak. She had explained to them that, traditionally, the closer you got to meeting one's eyes, the more familiar you were with them. Actual eye-contact, of course, was only not a challenge when shared between mates or family. She'd advised both of them to avoid looking at him entirely, if they could.
Patrius's features soured, "I'm not really in the mood for business right now."
"Ye see this bloke right 'ere?" she pointed a hoof back at Shawn, who quickly looked at one of the boxes as the griffon's cold gaze flickered over to him, "'e's lookin' to work for The Shadow. An' I guarantee, The Shadow'll want to talk with'im."
"What's so special about him? Besides looking like a shaved monkey, I mean."
"Well, 'e's a zebra-trained shaman, a genuine psychic. Saw 'im prove it meself just t'day."
The tapping stopped, and Shawn felt the griffon's gaze on him intensify, inspecting him curiously.
"Come over here, kid."
Shawn complied, walking right on up to the desk and shifting his gaze to the griffon's claws.
"You're tellin' me this wussy monkey's a Shaman?" Patrius grunted, "I heard Shamans were highly trained, fearless spiritual mediums. Not soft little wimps."
Damn it, I'm losing him. Quick, Shawn, do something!
"Ah... well, ye see..." Wavedancer temporized, "I kinda told'im tha'-..." the mare froze in shock, as did the griffin before him.
Huh... green eyes. Shawn, thought, I would've expected yellow.
Looking directly into them, Shawn felt, was somewhat akin to looking directly down the barrel of a rather large gun. Certainly it felt like roughly the same level of danger when Patrius's talons contracted, scraping long furrows into the wood of the desk.
A deathly silence descended over the warehouse, as even the other griffons stopped what they were doing to stare at them both.
Reflexively, Shawn showed his best grin and spoke, "The name's Shawn Spencer, interdimensional psychic, purveyor of prophesies, and a real big fan of your eyes. What is that, forest green? Whatever it is, it's absolutely vibrant."
The silence that followed his statement would have welcomed something as loud and disruptive as a pin drop. What it got, instead, was snort, followed by raucous laughter.
"I take it back, Wavedancer." Patrius chortled, "This monkey's definitely no wimp!"
The sea-mare laughed nervously, while Shawn's grin only widened.
"Kid," he continued, looking back to Shawn, "No one's had the feathers to do that since my old centurion, back when I was still a praetorian." the griffin chuckled again, wiping an errant tear from his eye, "So, either you're real stupid or you knew I wouldn't try to rip your guts out when you did it... and I've come to trust Wavedancer's judgment over the years. You really are psychic, aren't you?"
Shawn's grin widened and he nodded, "I'm certainly not stupid."
Patrius laughed again, "Hah! You're alright, kid. You remind me of my-..." he paused and sighed, the tiredness Shawn had seen before returning to his eyes all in a rush, "Look, I'd love to get you an introduction, but I'm a little busy with something a little more important right now. Come back next week, maybe."
Almost of its own volition, Shawn's hand rose to his temple, "I'm sensing you've got a bit of a personal problem. Something to do with family? Your kid, maybe?"
"How did...?" The griffon shook his head, "Right. Psychic."
"Something I can help with?"
There was another silence, as something seemed to dawn on Patrius, and the desperate, pleading look Shawn received at that moment was so unexpected, he almost flinched back, "It's my daughter... she's been missing for a week, and now I'm just hopin' for a ransom letter, 'cause that'd mean she's still alive out there. She's a real fighter, that one. Just like her mother was. But, she never goes off anywhere without lettin' me know first. With all that's been happening, I'm scared that..."
Patrius emitted a short growl of frustration, then continued, "I don't know why a psychic wants to go work for The Shadow. And, normally, I'd never get anybody else stuck in the same boat that I'm in right now with that monster. But... I need my daughter back." he snatched a picture frame from his desk handed it to Shawn, "That's her. You find her for me, psychic, and I'll personally vouch for you to whoever you want. No questions asked."
Shawn paused to look back at his companions. Wavedancer shrugged, while Pinkie Pie was... apparently she'd been chatting with the suited pony the whole time.
How did no one notice that?
It would mean a delay, possibly a fatal one for their three day time-limit, but what choice did he have? Plus, he'd never felt more like a detective in a gritty noir than at that moment.
"Please..." Partius chocked out in a hushed tone.
"YES!" Shawn yelled and threw his hands up, "Don't you worry, sir, I'll get her back for you, or my name isn't Trip Jackson!"
"I thought your name was Shawn Spencer..."
"Just 'cause you put syrup on somethin' don't make it pancakes!"
The griffon stared at him for a moment, before shaking off the confusion, "Take the picture with you. She was last seen at some sleezy bar called 'Salty's Pub' on the East shore. I want my daughter back, psychic, so let me know if you need anything."
Coincidence after coincidence after coincidence...
Shawn took the offered frame and tossed it to Wavedancer, who fumbled with it before using her magic to stuff it in a saddle-bag.
Pinkie caught up with them as they walked back out of the building, "So, what'd I miss?" she chirped happily.
"Yer friend is cra-"
"We're on a new case, Surprise." Shawn interrupted, before Wavedancer could reveal he'd probably already broken his 'Pinkie Promise' with the eye-contact stunt, "There's a missing griffon, and when we find her, we find The Shadow."
"Okie-dokie-loki!" Pinkie smiled.
Shawn envied her happy-go-lucky attitude at the moment, because he couldn't help but feel like he'd stumbled unto something big on his first day here. He shelved the suspicion in the back of his mind and walked on, a strange determination to get to the bottom of all this filling his chest.
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Hello again and welcome back to Invictus releases a chapter on time for like the 3rd time ever! With your host: Invictus!
Thank you, thank you. I have an additional challenge for our readers today... try to spot the bit I wrote while drunk off my ass last night. This afternoon's editing marathon should make it at least somewhat challenging.
And, as always: enjoy, rate, and review!
Forever Yours,
Invictus
My guess, everything was written while drunk. You'd have to when dealing with Shawn
Haven't read it at all yet, but I will soon. You get a fave and a thumb for doing this anyways!
Aaah, the Rafiki tribe! Yeeees, very famous among us apes!
sweet. Psych. my fave Dramedy. Evah!
706018 Exactly.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/296/349/ae2.gif
PFFFFFFT
...
*Wipes off laptop screen of Coca-cola Cherry Zero spittle*
WHAT?! A Psych... *mindlessly auto-faves and up-votes before starting to read*
p.s. The beginning? Yeah. Literal Spit-Take. Jerk. Now my screen is gonna be all sticky...
706545
God that comment is brilliant!
Likewise to this story, the awesomeness that is both Psych and MLP.
Who woulda thunk it?
Amazing story! I love the dialogue, especially Shawn's lines.
"Just 'cause you put syrup on somethin' don't make it pancakes!"
...
...
...
Brilliant.
Not gonna lie...
I like this story.
Partner nickname- check
Crazy metaphor- check
Disobeying instructions- check
Well, all's great so far!
Shawn courts great danger by fingercrossing a Pinkie Promise. Something tells me Pinkie is the sort to yell no take-backsies. Also I'm ashamed to say that I had NO idea this was a crossover of any sort until Sixinthehood said something... I guess I need to watch more TV.
In any case, it hasn't HURT my interest...
Another grand update my friend. And a marvelous Psyching by Shawn.
Along with a Godfather reference and TWO Lion King references!!!!
One more and you get a cub Simba img.
I love it when the hero succeds at something because of dumb luck, and as always you do a marvelous job at writing Shawn.
Looking forward to more!!!!
P.s. I just KNEW that Shawn was crossing his fingers before I even got to it. I was rather pleased at being able to predict that off of the show and the previous chapters, and it gives credit to your skills at writing a believable and consistant character.
Edit: P.P.s Had another thought. Have you ever considered Shawn having an actual psychic moment at some point in the story? I mean this world is full of magic and i'm reasonably sure you could easily pull it off. I know it might take away abit of the realsim (well, you know what i mean) but i think it'd be a real cool high point somewhere. Just a suggestion, love the story regardless.
Loving the story so far and the refs dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png
I know I spotted errors in there somewhere but I just can't find them anymore o.O
I'm probably just overlooking it
708855 Yeah, its not like the princesses don't have the power to mentally project some information into Shawn's head with out him knowing, or something like that. You know if the actual psychic stuff seems to out of character.
709255 Woot! Someone agrees with me!
... I think.
709395 What better way to troll him than have the princess have him think he actually gained powers, also could be used as a deus ex machina.
Great chapter, I wish you could get these out faster.
And I kinda agree with Pinkie about Shawn dealing with Scroll, that was really mean. Shawn can lay down some seriousness at times but its usually life or death, he tends to pretty jovial even with soon-to-be convicted murders. Making Scroll think he was gonna die was harsh.
708291
That actually makes me happiest of all, I think... when someone who is unfamiliar with the show can still enjoy the story. It's very gratifying. Especially so coming from a talented author such as yourself.
706018>>706214
Ooooo, close. Interestingly enough, it was actually the bit from Twilight's POV. Though, sometimes I feel drunk after a long enough writing bout with Mr. Spencer.
708855
It has crossed my mind, but not in the way you're thinking of. Unless you're thinking what I'm thinking, but then that would make you more psychic than Shawn.
710251
Yeah, you'd almost think there's something stra- [DATA EXPUNGED]
713719 Then I need to be more psychic.
I wanna know what your thinking! It has a high probability of having infomration relavent to this story.
I shall start practicing the moment I find a shaman from the Rafiki tribe.
Just blasted through this story and enjoyed it immensely (my wife had to tell me to stay quiet as she was trying to sleep...four times as I couldn't put this story down until I literally couldn't prop my eyes open any longer).
The beginning of the story, the part where Shawn was transported to Equestria in the first place, wouldn't really have won any awards, but then it was clearly intended to just be a way of well...getting Shawn into Equestria. Once that was done, it was unending brilliance!
729535 XD I wish! I don't claim to have seen all of the episodes, but I don't think so. I come up with SOME things on my own! Got it from the whole 'If what you're saying isn't important then don't interrupt the silence' thing. (I've heard it many ways.) So when I remembered that, I just kinda... You know! Troll mode! There's a reason that I'm called the Minstroll of Equestria! xD That's me! Magical Trevor, 'Minstrel of Equestria'. I say stupid things, comment everywhere, and 'open mouth, insert hoof' a lot! It's my unofficial job. Or something. Hmm... Yeah, let's go with that 'or something'. Sounds a lot more impressive, I think...
729588
it's called ados attention dephcite oh shiny
This reminded me why I loved psych
GODDAMN "PUBLISH" BUTTON.
Why are you next to the "Edit" button!?
Ugh...
To anyone who thought I released a new chapter early... my sincerest apologies. I do all my writing and editing on the fimfiction editor, and I mis-clicked while trying to hit the edit button. Look forward to the real update tomorrow, if one of the site mods doesn't come after my really, really, really SORRY ass because he thinks I was purposely "bumping" my story.
I'm going to go sit in a corner and cry in shame for a while now... I'll see you all tomorrow.
746300
"Mis-click", Right, nudge nudge wink wink. Yeah, I was wondering why you were back in the featured box with no update.
746334
*Sob
I hate the fact that i ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!!!!!
I've had almost no sleep between work, my own writing, a (small) social life, and these AWESOME stories!!!
Meh, sleep is for the week and the dead!
By all that is good and holy in the land of Equestria this cannot be happening! Please, let there be some sense of justice in this beautifully pastel-shaded and outlined world that can fix what I just saw, for I simply cannot believe that anyone, even Shawn Spencer, would ever lie whilst making a Pinkie Promise!
More nicknames for Pinkie!
I love Shawn pulling off his psychic shtick! I'm glad he got a chance to do it here.
once again, beautiful.
Nostalgia Critic reference!
It's a lot of fun getting to see him ply his 'trade'. But crossed fingers? Gasp! You can't welch on a Pinkie Promise! D: The fiend.
.
.............
He wouldn't break a Pinkie Promise would he?...........he gonna die.....
That moment when he was playing the corrupt official.. That was pure, unadulterated Shawn. You have managed to capture him better then anyone I have ever seen before. Excellent work.
Shawn, Shawn, Shawn... You didn't break the promise because it wasn't as dangerous as you thought it was. Or stupid.
And it wasn't reckless.
Shawn, when you break that promise, you will know... Because SHE will know.