When I look into the future, I see failure.
Life and love with a princess wasn't easy. Nothing good in Fluttershy's life ever was. Luna's insistence on fixing a broken shelf on a lazy spring day gives them both a lot to think about.
Written within an hour for a Quills and Sofas speedwrite then expanded upon and edited with the help of the esteemed wishcometrue, author of Chamomile.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This story is delightful. The dynamic between Fluttershy and Luna is good and feels realistic, and overall the story has a wonderful domestic quality to it.
Second what wish is saying here, there's a lovely understated nature to it. You use a little to say a hell of a lot, nice work!
This is a cute fic.
I feel like I've read a few stories like this before, but not in a bad way. It's just an interesting sort of scenario to throw Fluttershy into some kind of random au story with no build up and have her be the emotional core. I like it.
And then the shelf collapsed and they called Applejack the next day.
God damn. Your similes and metaphors are so on-point throughout this story, it's actually kind of absurd. You always know just the perfect words to convey the mood you're looking for, and it makes it so easy to just get lost in the story and world you've built. That is absolutely incredible.
Also?? This story's really heckin sweet. I like that even when Luna finally explains herself, her explanation is left somewhat vague. Sometimes we just can't ever fully understand the people we love, or even ourselves, but that's okay and we just need to support each other anyway.
My one minor gripe is that I think the fact that they're fixing a shelf, and that they're inside Fluttershy's cottage, should've been established earlier, like in the first couple of lines. The first time the shelf is referred to, it's called a "piece of furniture" which made me think they were working with a couch or something at first. It doesn't take long to catch up to what's actually happening, but I still think it's an unnecessary oversight.
That said, aside from that minor thing, the first few lines are extremely good at setting the scene. I adore how the first word of the fic is "dear", which immediately tells you that it's Fluttershy talking since that's such a Fluttershy thing to say. And watching Fluttershy's gears turn as she tries to understand Luna is gripping as hell, and her revelation that supporting her gf is more important than understanding her is perfectly timed and delivered. The comparison to Fluttershy's own anxieties is a superb touch.
All in all, this is one of the sweetest one-shots I've ever read. It was just a joy to experience, and I'm very glad that you wrote it. Good heckin job!
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thank u for be nice to ..... (thats a sentiment that extends to anyone whos readin this comment n enjoyed the story but is being specifically directed towards leafblade here cus uhj. i wanted to)
also yes thank u for thos tips, ur completely correct n i added a lil bit of Flavor to that second line to add more background. if it reads poorly i will simply walk into lake erie and never return
You are the best at writing exactly what we need to hear in the exact amount of words we need to hear it, halfway through I wondered if this was gonna be long enough but by the end it was perfect.
Shy and Luna are wonderfully characterized, I could feel exactly how broken and anxious Luna was... I wish I could describe it better but you did it so well LOL. It just felt so genuine and personal and wonderful
Just perfect
Mhm, rare pairs (and a Luna one, no less) with fluffy established couple romance. It's just so nice.
horses
In which Luna falls victim to the sunk cost fallacy :^)
A nice little interaction between Flutters and Luna, and interesting to see a perspective on time I hadn't considered before. Also, in these couple short months I can already see how much you've improved. Good job!
I know I run the risk of repeating what's already been said in comments before me, but I also know that in repeating them, I only further compound what made this story work! That is, the wonderful and sugary precision employed for each of your words that make up this story. Indeed, I think you description of how Fluttershy speaks to Luna is how you wrote this story. Gently collecting flower petals from a divine royal garden and lovingly arranging them in a mural hung up in the living room of a small cottage. This to me is the image your writing evokes for me with this story, and this isn't even talking about the message.
Loss is a hard thing, especially after in Luna's case where she lost more than she could imagine, or even more than anyone could record. So the prospect of losing something she cares for is too much to stomach, especially when she can mend it. However, conversely, anything she can mend can also be broken again, or worse yet, lost completely. Regardless, this story was nothing short of incredible. In a short amount of words you captured a casual story that conveyed precisely what it needed to. Great work, Dawn!!