Chapter 18: Real Things
"It probably thinks it was dreaming. That nothing mattered."
Ocellus opens her eyes.
She is still in the oculus room. The stonework is still cold and hard under her hooves. She can feel the engraved stars in each stone. The portal still shimmers with ethereal light. The Nightmare still towers before her, glaring balefully.
She no longer hurts. Her headache is gone. All replaced with a suffocating weariness. There is no sign of the changeling hive.
Ocellus blinks in confusion. "What?"
"B-but I'm dreaming," the nymph stammers in protest. "I know I am. When you know you are dreaming, you're supposed to wake up. That's how it works!"
She hears the clopping of hooves on the stonework. Luna's voice comes from behind her. The voice isn't from an image in a mirror.
"You are lucid dreaming, Ocellus," Luna tells Ocellus in her somber, dulcet tone. "You have a great deal of control over the dream now."
Luna walks up beside her. Ocellus turns, looking up at the night alicorn.
"But listen to me carefully, Ocellus. While you are correct that this is a dream, there are three things here that are real. I am real. You are real. And that," Luna says, pointing to the Nightmare, "...is real."
The Nightmare's shifting maw opens wide enough to swallow Ocellus and everything around her, blasting her with It's rotted, burning pumpkin stench as the Nightmare lets out Its primordial, sense-destroying, panic-inducing roar.
Ocellus feels... nothing. No will-erasing terror. No panic. Just weariness. She stands her ground, staring at the monstrosity with a failure to care that would impress even Gallus.
"If that is real," Ocellus asks the night alicorn beside her, "Then why am I not scared?"
"Nightmares lose their ability to terrify you once you know you are dreaming," Luna states.
Ocellus opens her receptors. She can taste Luna's love -- honeydew, jicama and tar -- so vibrant and real that everything else seems to fade a little. Because Luna's love has always been real.
"That's why I gave it the ability to fool me." Luna steps forward, her eyes narrowing as she addresses the Nightmare directly. "Isn't that right, Tantabus!"
Ocellus' thoughts are spinning. Yet she understands. No creature could possibly fool the night alicorn into not recognizing a dream for what it is... save for the one creature Luna empowered to do so.
Queen Elytra dissolves, melting into the Nightmare. Then the Nightmare itself dissolves into blue smoke.
"Tantabus? But... but you destroyed it... didn't you?"
Actually, now that Ocellus thinks on it, her professors had been a bit unsure exactly what Luna had done. Headmare Sparkle thought she knew, but maybe she was wrong?
Beside her, Luna shakes her head. "I created Tantabus out of my own self-hatred. I couldn't destroy it." Her tone is one of regret, but carries a hard edge with the Tantabus present. "Once I had forgiven myself, stripping it of all of its power, I banished it to the dreamscape of the moon."
Ocellus stares at Luna.
Luna raises an eyebrow at the nymph's stare. "What else would I have done?"
The changeling nymph tries to process this. Tantabus is alive? Wait... the moon has a dreamscape? What does that even mean?
Ocellus' eyes widen in understanding. "You were asleep." Her words aren't really to Luna, just a vocalization of her realization. After all, it is not the night alicorn beside her whom she means. Not her-Luna. Her-Nightmare Moon.
Ocellus has been dreading being alone on the moon. Even with the promise of visits from Luna and the slim hope of dreams with her friends, the idea was nearly unbearable. To be cut off from love, from friendship. To be completely and totally alone... the very idea was beyond miserable. It was isolation from everything good.
Celestia didn't want to torture her sister. Nightmare Moon wasn't awake on the moon for a thousand years. "This palace..."
A lot of this dream was from herself: the puzzles, the love-starved changelings, her friends. But even in her dreams, she wouldn't have come up with this palace. There is a reason Luna found it familiar, a reason that Tantabus was able to trick her into believing this was a real place from her past.
"...is what Nightmare Moon dreamed about."
If any dream could continue to exist without the dreamer, it would be one crafted by the alicorn of night and dreams.
Luna nods. "Yes. I was in this place for a very long time..." She stops, taking a real look around. The night alicorn flinches at the tapestries and turns back to Ocellus, her voice melancholy. "In a way, I truly did build it."
Luna looks up again and sees her own reflection in the mirror, staring back at her from above the throne. "I sensed there was something wrong in your dreams, Ocellus," she says, clearly remembering what the dream made her forget. "But when I tried to enter them to help, the Tantabus ensnared me too."
Luna frowns. "The clocks tried to warn me about Tantabus. But while it could not stop their ticking, the dream obfuscated the meaning of their alarm."
Ocellus feels a jolt. She looks about, having almost forgotten that the Tantabus was in the room with them. It had done all of this to her, to them. There had to be a reason!
The blue smoke of the Tantabus has taken a vague form.
In the lesson she was taught at the School of Friendship, they were told it took the shape of Luna. But now, it looks much more like Queen Elytra to Ocellus.
It begins to move for the glowing light of the portal.
"Ocellus, listen," Luna says, her voice calm but bearing just a hint of the urgency it had carried throughout the dream. "I do not understand how, but somehow Tantabus saw in your dreams a passage to the real world. All of this has all been a ruse by the Tantabus to get you to open that passage. If it escapes through that portal, it will infect the real world, turning it into a living nightmare for everyone."
The night alicorn looks Ocellus in the eyes. "Do not allow it through, and do not awaken with the portal open. If you do, it can follow you out."
There it is. The truth.
Ocellus nods, flying to the portal, putting herself between it and the creeping figure of blue smoke. But even as she does so, she knows she can't stop it. Not like this. Their professors tried to physically restrain the Tantabus to no avail. It is real, but it isn't a physical being. It can just flow around her.
Before, it took Luna's act of self-forgiveness to stop it. But Luna has already done that. She already took its power and banished it...
Ocellus' eyes fly open wide as she makes the connection.
I was everything mother wanted me to be! Everything she made me! But once... just once!... I tried to be my own being! Tried to take something for myself! And in response, she takes all my power from me and banishes me here!
Oh no.
All I want is to return home. And you... you and that monster in the mirror... you seek to rob me of that chance!
Oh wow!
I WILL TEACH YOU THAT YOU CANNOT GIVE BIRTH TO SOMEONE AND THEN JUST THROW THEM AWAY!
Queen Elytra wasn't just some villain conjured from nothing. She has been Tantabus' avatar, as has the Nightmare. Chrysalis was merely a proxy.
Luna is mother.
Ocellus stares between Luna and Tantabus, feeling vertigo at the epiphany. She doesn't know what to say. What to think.
An uncomfortable feeling rises up in her.
And with it, a whispering realization: The Tantabus is appearing like Queen Elytra now. It has connected to its avatar, formed a bond. It won't just give her up.
Ocellus has the strong notion that the world of living nightmares that Tantabus visits on her world won't be crafted from the nightmares of the ponies within it. Instead, their nightmares will be infused into this one. There won't even be an invasion. The Tantabus steps through, and every creature finds themselves in a world Queen Elytra has already conquered.
The blue smoke, shaped like a changeling queen, moves slowly towards her. Towards the portal.
Ocellus looks between Luna and Tantabus once more. Then at the portal. Something is wrong.
How long did she and Luna talk? Why hasn't Tantabus already gone through? The monster of nightmares is steps away from having everything it wanted, and it is moving as slow as tree sap.
Luna is looking at her with a mixture of worry and motherly kindness. Waiting, Ocellus thinks. And hoping. For her to figure it out.
Ocellus, listen: I do not understand how, but somehow Tantabus saw in your dreams a passage to the real world... Luna can't help her any further because Luna doesn't know.
The Tantabus takes another languid step.
...there are three things here that are real. I am real. You are real. And that is real.
Ocellus nods, understanding.
The portal of crystal lattice and shining light isn't real. Like everything else in this dream, it's just set dressing. Tantabus sensed a way into the real world though her, created this dream of opening a portal to push her to open a real one...
"I'm the portal."
Luna nods, clearly having understood that much, despite not really comprehending how or why. Luna couldn't, Ocellus understands. For all the night alicorn is, she's not a changeling.
But Ocellus is. And right now, she is a lucid dreaming changeling.
Ocellus looks to Luna, explaining, "I can bring something real into the dream world."
Luna's eyebrows rise in surprise.
The Tantabus takes a hesitant step back. Then another, stepping away from Ocellus and the shining portal.
Away from the false portal and the real one.
Luna's surprise turns to shock as she sees Tantabus' hesitation. "It's frightened?"
Ocellus nods. There is a huge flaw in the Tantabus' plan. And the moment she realized it, Tantabus did too.
Dreams are in your head. Even when all else is false, your emotions are real. The terror you feel in a nightmare remains when you wake because it is real terror. The same holds true for other emotions.
Luna created Tantabus out of self-hatred. Forgiveness weakens hatred. Takes away its power. But forgiveness isn't the opposite of hatred, and it can never truly destroy it. Only love can do that. And it is impossible for Luna to love her own self-hate. She could never give Tantabus what could actually destroy it.
But Ocellus is a changeling. She stores love. She has been for years. She's been nipping bits of her friends' love for her, collecting them. She remembers what she told dream-Smolder:
I hoard too.
She's lucid dreaming. She can pull that love -- real love -- here. That is the portal between dream and reality that Tantabus sensed. She can give Tantabus her love.
All of it.
To do so would be to lose it. To give up everything she has collected. All the love of her friends that she has surrounded herself with. Her deepest, dearest possession.
Would you sacrifice all of your friends for everyone?
It's a trick question. Her friends are part of "everyone".
Ocellus realizes her answer is "Yes."
The Tantabus takes another step back, shaking.
If the Tantabus is truly nothing but Luna's self-hatred, then love will destroy it. But if it is anything else... anything more... if there is anything within it that can be redeemed...
...Ocellus has to try. No matter the cost.
Ocellus lifts from the floor, spreading her forelegs wide. She opens the portal and lets all the love she has stored for years flow through, giving it to Tantabus.
The light is brilliant. It fills the oculus room. An impossibly perfect symphony of flavors -- cinnamon and mushrooms and berries and mackerel and fennel and tar...
It is a flood. That becomes a tsunami.
Then the oculus room and everything in it disappears as the universe goes white.
Ocellus doesn't know who she is. She has allowed herself to be molded by what would get people to love her. Her friends, her professors, her hive. Her life had become a facade, her behavior a series of masks. She doesn't remember the last time she really felt like an individual.
But she remembers the first time.
Before her, the entire hive was changing. Transforming. Starlight Glimmer hadn't been lying. She hadn't been naïve. Changelings could survive by sharing love. They didn't have to starve. They didn't have to be parasites! They could be symbiotic!
It was the time she gave up her love -- despite having virtually none to give -- sharing it with Queen Chrysalis. And she was transformed.
Ocellus is alone.
All around her is a glowing white empty. The dream is gone.
There is no sign of the Tantabus. She does not see Luna. Only she remains. She is truly alone.
It was real. She knows that without room for doubt. Her collection of love is gone. Her hoard. She gave it all up, sacrificed to Tantabus. And in doing so, she feels she gave up her masks too. Reset herself.
It isn't a bad thing, being alone with herself. Her true self.
But she already misses her friends. She wants to return. She'll just have to take things more carefully. Rebuild herself. Just as she knows she will rebuild her hoard. Her friends have plenty of love to share.
Something permeates the white. A taste of smoked hickory, jalapeno and rubies.
Smolder's love. Pure and real. Her girlfriend.
...No. Not yet her girlfriend.
Smolder loves her. Ocellus knows this. She has known it for a long time. She has been able to taste that it is true and genuine, regardless of any other desires or baggage either of them might possess. And Smolder knows that Ocellus knows.
Her roommate is waiting for her to take the next step. With the patience of a dragon.
No pressure, not even a word. None need to be said. And Smolder is absolutely willing to remain just the friends they are now if Ocellus' heart does not reciprocate the love Smolder has for her.
But Ocellus' heart does. She just needed to work through her own self issues enough to finally see it.
Ocellus smiles, knowing she is waking up.
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Oh! Hey! So it was a sealed inside the moon thing after all! Well! I retract the complaint I made about that way back at the start of this story, then.
As for this chapter on a whole...admittedly, that is a pretty clever twist. That it's all "just a dream" still kinda takes away from some of the intrigue, but with a story such as this, there was never going to be any avoiding that, so better for the story to just focus on owning that. Besides, the more important thing here is that the all-important twist with the Tantabus does indeed manage to bring back a whole lot of that lost intrigue, just of a different brand.
I approve.
Well now, that was a magnificent reversal and no mistake. Not even in my most paranoid imaginings did I suspect The Tantabus, though in hindsight the overwhelming presence of Nightmare should have been a bald-faced clue. Again, a magnificent stroke.
Aiet. She has a point, she has a profound point. There is a responsibility here, yes? However this goes, however this ends, there will need to be an accounting.
Huh. Wait, but I thought Luna re-absorbed the Tantabus. For that matter it kind of accepted its defeat and willingly merged with Luna again, if I recall correctly. Also, how has it managed to stick around?
Makes sense. That does help to explain Elytra and the complex narrative that Ocellus dreamed up. I imagine that otherwise Ocellus might have dreamed of a creepy place full of starving changelings, but probably wouldn't have given them a Queen, or else would have imagined Chrysalis. Or maybe herself but all evil and queenly.
Hmm...okay, I've got two thoughts on this. On the one hand, it's kind of disappointing to learn that all of the stuff that happened in this story after the first chapter was a dream. While the emotional self-discovery that Ocellus went through was real enough, the events weren't and her interactions with the other characters wasn't, and that's what a lot of the story was.
On the other hand, all the clues are in hindsight there making it plain that this was all just a dream, as was pointed out at the end of the last chapter. It really is the best possible answer to so many of the Unanswered Questions, especially the "why are there changelings on the Moon?" one.
However, bringing back the Tantabus is...I dunno. It makes perfect sense given the context, but it's also the return of an enemy that had already been defeated in the past, seemingly with it becoming a part of Luna again - as it always really was.
Definitely still like and am enjoying this story, but I'm not gonna lie that I am a little disappointed in this turn. That's the danger of the "it was all just a dream" twist.
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Agreed.
Though I’m sad for the reason I said in the previous chapter, that being all the characters connections are now false, I like how this chapter brings a more hopeful aspect to it. In the sense that Ocellus gets to fall in love with Smolder all over again, when she’s ready.
Also did anyone else expect for Ocellus to wake up but be all queenified, as in she’d be more like Thorax instead of a normal changeling.
Can’t wait for the epilogue, though I’m gunna be sad to see it finish. Really hoping Kkat sticks around for a bit after this one, maybe right another young six story. O well.
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I...hope not. I’m not a fan of Ocellus turning out to be a queen.
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I’m kinda half and half, I’m okay with her being a queen biological but due to the new way the hive works she’s just a little stronger then other changelings and is free to choose her own destiny, which is to come a teacher judging by the finale. Unlike in some fics I’ve seen where it’s “your the queen now so you are automatically the leader, and you must birth all the children now”... gross
Of course the in the game the whole thing was the answer to a question. I was wondering how you would do the same. I didn't see this coming but I'm glad it did.
Awww. That's so sweet.
Ocellus has achieved CHIM.
The problem is, it's an incomplete soul, but maybe with the infused love it can become whole...
Alright let's get right to it, time for (hopefully) some explanations.
Hmmm, fitting, and the 'that nothing mattered' a preemptive dig at those who hold that because this was a dream, nothing mattered? Even though the main focus through all of this was on Ocellus dealing with her own internal demons and issues, some of which made into exterior threats but never in some way for he to physically overcome, but to force her to confront the feelings she'd been repressing about them and come to terms with them. Yeah, the story mattered and the growth Ocellus went through in here was AMAZING. Now.... what the hell was going on!?
Still present tense so.... was I wrong, or is this still part of her dream?
Oh, still dreaming I guess. Or was she wrong?
Okay, it did something at least, froze the dream?
I don't think this was a normal dream.
Okay, Luna is still here at least, and hopefully ready to start talking!
Yeah, not normal at all. So, what is it? Fragment of NMM somehow, or.... given how often you brought it up this story....... Or something else related to the above?
"Oh shut up! And eat a breath mint!"
Now imagine it dressed up like a clown!
Wait, so we ARE going there?
Wait..... okay, this kind of fits, but at the same time, we see her interacting with the Tantabus in her dreams, telling it to do it's best/worst, noticing the moment it goes wrong... buuuuut.... there is just enough wiggle room to assume that it was once the Tantabus started it's work it was able to activate that ability, and it wasn't till she woke up she knew something was wrong. And in the other dreams, it was focused on the other ponies, not her. Would also explain why she felt this was real, and even if there were things she could look at logically to notice the oddness, the Tantabus would be able to just, make that not matter.... okay, you covered that base well enough story, good job.
Seconded
And, true, we only saw Luna absorb it, nothing outright said what happened from there so...... yeah, enough room for something else to have happened.
Okay... that explains a lot. So, it was it's own entity, that just fed off of Luna's self-hatred, so not something she could just will out of existence, and likely though she might have been able to destroy it, would have considered that tantamount to murder. Also, imprisoned it in the moon's dreamrealm..... that is freaking awesome and I kind of love this idea. The moon having it's own dram realm. And locking it away there makes sense, it can't hurt others, but can do a lot on it's own there, has a very large cell, but cell still because it's too large a threat to let be free. And, this whole thing, it reached out to subtly mess with Luna using a connection to it, tricking her through Ocellus really freaking strong nightmares into opening a portal in the dreamrealm to the moon's dreamrealm that set this all off?
Wait what...... oh... ohhhhh So.... NMM spent the 1000 years in this dreamscape... building all this oh... ohhh ohohohohoh story, I LOVE this idea! Headcanon Accepted!
And she wasn't 'on' the moon, it was very clear, she was imprisoned 'in' the moon.
That was why Luna was caught by surprise by the barriers and couldn't remember where the buttons were, those were bits Ocellus added to the dream to make things more fun for herself.
Again, story, I am LOVING this concept and how you are pulling all these threads together!
Called it... so Luna wasn't ignoring her and did try to help with the nightmares, the question is how the Tantabus managed to make that connection.
Nani? Okay, that bit, not sure what it's saying. Why then only tick when Ocellus grabbed a Totem?
Because it's basing itself of Ocellus nightmares right now. So, is that what Ocellus things she'd look like if she became a Queen?
No, bad Tantabus!
Okay story, that's a bit of a cop out, just 'somehow' but everything else is so solid and so damn good, I'll allow it.
Well, it did go one about a different plan that, does kind of make sense, not nightmares, but give everyone what they want, give them their deepest dreams to get them on its side. Not a bad plan at all, but still, yeah, stop it.
And that does make sense, it lost going the nightmare route, now its going to try another to get what it wants.
Okay, that's why she told Ocellus not to wake up. But can she wake up after closing the portal?
To be fair, that was when it was feeding on the metric fuck ton of guilt and self loathing Luna had been feeding it. They could still hold it back and even hurt it, just not enough to make up for how damn powerful it was. Now, it's not quite that large.
It's somehow managed to connect to you and is feeding on YOUR emotional issues,. Luckily, you've already come to grips with quite a few of them.
And at no point was Chryssi ever said to be her mother, you just assumed that. But yeah, this... I mean... good job at giving Tatantbus some tragic, sympathetic motivations here story.
Luna is love, Luna is life!
Ummm, okay?
Mhm, this is now about you and it.
Yup...... so, would it really get free free, or would that 'portal' just bring it back to the portion of Ocellus' own dream that is connected to Equestria's dreamrealm, with it then free to spread as before into any being it sees in her dream? Which would include quite a few beings already?
Love? Emotions? Bit confused here if that's not what she's talking about.
But this being some bizarre quirk of changeling physiology allowing this could work.
Ohhhh, ohhhhhh... Story I see where this is going and... okay, that is one hell of an interesting take on things.
And as a being more of emotion then anything real, it could use that channel.... ohhh nice.
True, but they'd be more then willing to give you more.
Ohhh, nice way to bring this all back around. I mean, it's another trick question in that she's not really sacrificing anything she can't get back easily enough. But I get the intent and it works so well.
Okay, and addressing what I was going to bring up if this did what it's looking like. If it is nothing but a metaphysical part of Luna she simply can't get rid of, then it's not killing it at all as it has no 'self', all it's doing is healing part of Luna's own mental scars.Wounds she's healed from, but still left a mark this is helping to also heal. If it's more then that, then this will do something else to it and allow it to exist without being a threat. Interesting and very effective way of short cutting any fridge horror at this.
Also, very epic call back to the nightmare that set this all off, amazing book-ending.
I think I've gushed enough about this story by now for you to have some idea how I feel. and I know we are not done, but.... yeah this story has been so damn good. And as I thought, so well layered that going back and rereading would reveal so many nuances you'd miss on the first pass, even being as detailed as I was and figuring out the big twist fairly soon.
I do dispute this is legit how she feels, but it is plausible enough for this just to be differing headcanon, not something I don't think could be the case, and besides it works perfectly for this story while being, as noted, fully plausible.
Made a decision for herself, on her own motive, just because it was what she wanted to do, and realized through the dream the crutch she'd been using, and how to find a healthy way to not rely on it so much.
So, Smolder trying to wake her up for real now?
Also, ummm.......
yeah,. do keep in mind everything in there was a dream and just you projecting things. Though you did already know how she felt thanks to that half remembered conversation you overheard.
.... I have never notice 'patience' being something dragons are all that good at. They tend to be the 'instant gratification' types......
Okay, this.... this was a very sweet ending as well. Ocellus at peace. And we still have an epilogue to do some wrap up and set some things straight, but yeah, this is a good end.The story did matter, this was ocellus journey through her own issues, coming to grips with who she was, finding out what she really wanted, just.. the journey was amazing, and I loved how well it showed all this. Not being some magic fix, but Ocellus coming to grips with what she's been doing that is unhealthy in the long term, and finding a way to change that lets her adapt, find a more healthy way of dealing with things without changing who she is.
The romance was never about the two of them falling i love, but was about Ocellus having to sort through her own twisted mass of issues to figure out just how she felt, how she genuinely felt, not just how she felt others wanted her to feel/be. I'm not big on romance fics, and I don't really ship these two (Now Gallus and SIlverstream......) but this story handled this very well, made it intersting, and I fully buy it for this story that they feel this way, so amazing job.
And yeah till an epilogue to go through but..... Yeah, I loved this story so damn much. Not sure if Top 10, but that's more a case of just how damn many awesome stories there are on this site, top 10% for sure, and.... no not even close to number 1 but, well...... think how much I freaking LOVE what my #1 pony fic is, and given we all know just what that is, well hardly think that's an issue right now for obvious reasons.
So yeah, onto the epilogue to see how this amazing story wraps things up..... and find out what the hell Discord was trying to do.
And if we will find out what happened to the Tantabus, or it'll remain ambiguous given that last bit I remarked on I kind of hope it stay ambiguous.
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I would dispute how this all being a dream lessons any of the interactions. Luna was real, and that is really the only character Ocellus had any real emotional scenes between her and someone else, their scene in the throne room the first time. Gallus and Yona never really did much more then be themselves, and never really had more then some surface level interactions with Ocellus, nothing that revealed anything new about them beyond what we already knew or that changed how Ocellus saw them, nothing that mattered enough to be lost.
With Smolder, it's a bit more complicated, but even then Smolder really didn't do much new. Ocellus knew about her feelings already thanks to both being an empath, and from hearing her talk to Gallus about it but not remembering till now. Smolder just kind of went along with whatever Ocellus said. The only things possibly new from her were the first kiss thing, which did feel very odd coming from Smolder and totally fit Ocellus just projecting her fears onto her, and the Phoenix thing, which the whole time the story was hammering home how Ocellus did not know the story behind it, and Ocellus has spent the whole story taking the worst possible way to interpret internal issues, and it didn't actually tell us what the issue was, just what Ocellus thought it was.
Hell, it was the fact that Ocellus didn't seem to have any real, meaningful, emotional interactions with any other character besides Luna that (among many other small details) made me start thinking this might be the direction the story would be taking.
Well, both sad and glad. Glad that the nightmare's over, but sad to realize Ocellus and Smolder never really fell for each other. At least, not in this reality...
I cannot believe I didn't see that just like in that episode to a princess sleep Something I don't know the rest of the title name but it's like that kind of wow
So basically she's just having a nightmare a really bad nightmare my God And she started to realize that she can survive with love around it and she even give it to Tantabus just like when thorax give his love to Chrysalis Even though she did not accepted but still that was something I know that now she needs to wake up now
Re: The villain and the denouement.
I didn't watch the episode with the Tantabus, but various friends of mine who did had expressed an overall dissatisfaction with the way they handled self-harm and the seemingly shallow resolution. But I do like this resolution. It would have left a bitter aftertaste if they'd left anyone behind to suffer forever.