Ponycraft Saga - Book 1: This Land

by Onyx Glitch

Day 2

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// Day 2
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We’ve managed to calm down slightly (not really). After a long restless night in a damp cave, we ventured out to try and get our bearings. The land is quite enormous and, as I said before, very strange. Everything is blocky... even the animals. Not very many though. We’ve only seen pigs, cows, and chickens.

We finally agreed it was probably best to stay near the shore in case rescue came by boat. We began constructing a small shack next to the cave we stayed in. At first we were going to stay in the cave again, but after Applejack tried to buck an apple (so we don’t starve) out of a tree and a tiny block of wood went flying into Pinkie Pie (she’s fine) we not only found out we could get wood easily, but we also found out we didn’t need nails to construct things. The blocks ignore the laws of gravity and just stay wherever they are placed.

Rainbow Dash said she wouldn’t go anywhere near the cave and was complaining of hearing strange noises in the cave last night, but no pony believes her... as usual. I’m mean Rainbow is well known for her pranks... she’s obviously trying to take advantage of the situation and give us a scare... scratch that Rainbow did manage to freak out Fluttershy, but I think she’s more freaked out that it might be a little animal lost deeper in the cave. Great, now she’ll be freaking out about the captain and an animal that doesn’t exist, thanks Rainbow. Anyways, Rainbow demanded we made a back entrance.

kindly edititated by skehmatics

Comments

[Jack]

I love stories that follow a diary/journal pattern. Keep it up!

[heybro40]

Love it, but maybe you should make the chapters a little longer.

[Misplaced Modifier]

I'll start our by saying, this has some pretty big potential. The story seems to be missing a bit of punctuation (mostly commas), and the shortness of the chapters may cause some people to lose interest, but by all means, don't let that deter you from any writing styles that you prefer. Other than That, I see no immediate issues with this story. I'll keep reading any future chapters and keep ya' posted on anything else that may need to be fixed. (Tracked)

-Mintelle

[bronys unite]

Needs to be longer

[Minecraftian Equine]

Good...at least Dash is being smart, suggesting a back exit...
Twi, on the other hand, sits in her corner and writes these entries.
TWILIGHT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SQUID HAD TO DIE TO MAKE THAT INK? AND GOD THE CHICKENS SCOOTALOOS!!!

-Good potential for the story, try making the chapters a bit longer. More detail and world building (perhaps marveling at the amazing physics of Minecraftia), and character building is always good.

---That guy with the name that is for once relevant to the story

[djElectrOctavia]

No me gusta.

Too short, tenses should be in past tense and also not enough detail. You only took around 5 minutes to write each 'Chapter' if you can call it that.

[Onyx Glitch]

Cheese and crackers! So here's how my day has gone thus far.
watch up, eat breakfast, go to FiM, "you've got 21 new notifications"
2 watches, 10 favorites, and 7 comments... really did not expect that.

As an added note i'll go back and try to add a bit of length to it after i've posted the last day and maybe along the way (but i'm not promising much so don't hold me to it), but remember this is just a short project that i wanted to do because it was on the top of my head

[BioChemicalWolfGear]

ok not bad...MOAR!

[Onyx Glitch]

1165161 moar coming tomorrow morning

[Shimmer_Spark]

MOAR!! I cant wait until tomorrow Also make the entries longer and possibly when they encounter the Monster(s)? make it so that its first person?

[Onyx Glitch]

1165299 i appreciate all the excitement and i am aware that people want it longer i do intend to go back after the final day and try to lengthen it

As for the first person idea it does sound cool, but you gotta remember this is Twilight's diary so unfortunately its not for me i kinda want to stick with the idea of it being a diary... with the exclusion of the prologue and the epilogue of course sorry to disappoint.

[dance_chick_3]

I shall predict that rainbow is right and a zombie or something will pop out and try to kill twilight.
but she lives.
What is with the purple horn at the beginning? I am so confuse!!!! and grammar.
exept for that.............weknowmemes.com/2011/11/watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here/

[Onyx Glitch]

1166374 hmm i honestly thought it was obvious about the horn... oh well it will all make sense eventually

And yes i am aware of the grammar, as well as the punctuation... it sucks. i've never been a good writer.