VII
“Wow Luna, I can’t believe that you just mooned everyone. It’s truly shameful that someone of your stature would resort to such juvenile behavior.”
“Very mature, Anonymous.”
“Think of all the poor, impressionable children who watched on in horror as this great, ponderous mass lumbered over the horizon, blotting out the sun and bringing darkness to the land.”
“My moon isn’t that big.”
“It’s big enough.”
She snorts.
“Truly, a gentlestallion.”
The picnic was Cadence’s idea, an attempt to give their relationship a patina of respectability. Beneath the twilight stars, on top a plush blanket, and surrounded by like 12 space heaters, Anon and Luna pick at sandwiches and look up at the sky, taking the time to enjoy each other’s company.
“Actually, how the hell does that even work? Unless this is some weird flat Earth realm of bullshit, I don’t think it’s too good of an idea to just move celestial bodies like that.”
“Discord threw the Sun and Moon from their rightful places, and we haven’t yet the power to return them. All we can do is guide their movements as to simulate natural day and night.”
“That's … terrifying. Doesn’t Discord live with that mare we traumatized?”
“Kindness? I believe so.”
“Is he gonna do anything about that?”
“Probably. Knowing him, it will be incredibly annoying and come at the worst possible time.”
“... Great.”
Luna turns to him.
“What did you do before coming here?”
“I was a blood-sucking parasite.”
“Hmm?”
“A lawyer. Corporate, mind you—never actually went to trial—but a lawyer nonetheless.”
“You have my condolences.”
“Heh. It was the most soulless fucking existence imaginable, and I’m glad that it’s over."
He looks up at the stars.
"I mean, sure, it was a shitty transition from Earth to Equestria, what with being the weird alien and all, but I can honestly say that it was worth it. There isn't this overwhelming sense of … I dunno, spiritual rot, I guess. I don’t mean that in the religious sense, mind you, but in the emotional sense. My old society was … is blanketed by this horrible, nihilistic materialism, and people are so lonely and unfulfilled that their only option is escapism. Hell, I’m lucky that I ended up here—I honestly don’t believe that my homeland will even exist in 50 years time.
“That's a rather depressing way to look at things. Surely, it isn’t that bad.”
“You’d be surprised. We’re rich, but most of the wealth is just sitting in the hands of these financial parasites with no higher ideals and tiny moleman eyes. We have incredible knowledge and technology, but we use it to masturbate and justify our complete lack of ambition. We tolerate our differences, even when said differences lead to a complete loss of culture, social cohesion, and political stability. It’s the most boring dystopia ever—we’re forced to live under this decaying pretense of normalcy.”
Anon lays on the ground and runs a hand through his hair.
“Whatever, it’s in the past. I’ve no idea what I want to do here, but I want to do something, and all I see is opportunity. What are your plans for the future? I doubt you want to stay a politician.”
She lays down next to him, head on his shoulder.
“Sister and I plan to retire, believe it or not. She’s sick of ruling, and I am rather uncomfortable with modern Equestria. Things were … simpler before my banishment, much less bureaucracy and public relations nonsense.”
“What will you do then, sit around in a wicker rocking chair and play bingo all day?”
“No, but Sister will, and she wants me to follow her. Truth be told, I would quite like to buy one of those new airships, use it to explore the world and such.”
“Then why don’t you? Personally, suicide sounds preferable to the old folk’s home.”
“I just might.”
They sit there for a moment, taking in the stars and the dim glow of the moon. There’s no noise, no movement, just the two of them and the endless sky.
“Anonymous, your whining has got me thinking. I am not optimistic about Equestria’s future.”
“And why’s that?”
“Twilight Sparkle is far too neurotic and idealistic to be a good leader. She has the soul of an academic, and I fear that her reign will be one of inane change and half-baked platitudes. I suppose we are lucky that she is mortal.”
“Hmm. She strikes me as the type who’d try to create the metric year and make us all speak Esperanto. All the more reason to buy that airship.”
He turns to her.
“I think I might love you, Luna.”
“One would certainly hope so, we are getting married.”
“Sod off. Despite everything, this just feels right, you know?”
She looks into his eyes.
“In that case, I love you too.”
They spend the rest of the night in each other’s arms.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
“The wedding date has been moved up to a week from now.”
Anon barely avoids spewing his oatmeal across the table, coughing as he tries to choke it down.
“Jesus Christ Celestia, you don’t just drop a bomb like that. A bit sudden, don’t you think?”
“Perhaps, but you know how the public enjoys this sort of thing. Besides, you two are made for each other. Bloody psychos.”
Luna raises an eyebrow.
“Is it going to be a spectacle?”
“If you mean a very public, very flashy ceremony and reception, then yes.”
“Why?”
“The last royal wedding ended with thousands of deaths and billions in property damage. We need to show the world that love conquers all.”
In other words, Celestia and Cadence are hopeless romantics, and know that Anon and Luna would probably elope without some half-assed political justification.
Anon sighs and closes his eyes, arms crossed and head tilted upward.
“My dad was late to his own wedding, you know. He stopped for ice cream on the drive over, and the country club didn’t let him in because he refused to wear a tuxedo. I can always … ”
“No, you won’t.”
Luna snickers.
“And neither will you. I dread tempting fate like this, but nothing will go wrong."
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I love them and I love that they love each other.
Thank you for this chapter and more broadly this story!
Yay
Famous last words.
Now I'm curious to see how this will work.
img.ifunny.co/images/2eaade0b2b50eff0c11dcca0de83499fac086ea298a6a0d555e3cd5ea4406c8e_1.gif
And then it did.
I like this sort of confession.
Very matter of fact. Without pretense. Sincere.
10249802
Wow.
Did that last pallbearer truly not notice the thing he had to step around or did he just not care?
Lol. This is why Luna is best pony
I'd have never guessed that Anon was from the Lyran Commonwealth.
10249873
Well, that and her big, huge, glorious moon.
I'm actually talking about her butt.
10249889
Congratulations for making the only BattleTech reference I've ever seen.
10249747
Not very well, presumably
10249897
Congratulations on knowing what the ever-loving fuck I was talking about.
10249859
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/722/871/632.jpg
10249903
Personally, I think a more apt comparison is the TEC.
(This'll be a fun one)
10249903
10249898
i.ytimg.com/vi/d3XO-c9_X4Q/maxresdefault.jpg
10249889
Sounds more like Feddies to me.
10249907
The Trader Emergency Coalition? I never really got deep into the Sins lore. Mostly just the Vasari lore (what there was) and the time the Advent got run off from their homeworld by the TEC like a bunch of furries at a Marriott Hotel.
10249908 10249951
Have I found my people at last?
And then everything was on fire. And the fire was full of fire bees.
I wonder how many times she will say that before she learns her lesson?
Sounds like what would happen to me if I ever got married. And if I had the perfect spouse, she'd ask if I at least got her some, too when I finally got inside the building.
There's being a bloody psycho, and then there's slapping fate's face and calling her your bitch. Things are going to get FUN
10249962
Considering that I identify more with these guys than any IS or Clanner?
i.pinimg.com/736x/ce/d9/50/ced950beaee008dd4c7df1b14e54ff77.jpg
10250064
The fact that the 4th millennium is effectively ruled by the phone company never stops being amusing for me. I mean it makes sense in-universe but still.
So why is that story rated "M" again?
10250198
Don't blame me, blame the showriters lol. They literally retire to an old folks home.
10250671
Still could’ve been ignored or avoided on your part, just saying.
10250691
Where's the fun in that? For as much as I'd like to ignore season 4 onward, there are too many things to work with to do so. Confront the awful shit head on and explain just why it's so bad.
10250879
I think that they even did it is a sign that, somewhere, there's a connection. They're both antisocial weirdos, and their loved ones see it necessary to get them together, if only for their sake. It's assholeish, but ultimately a good thing.
10250157
Figured I'd err on the side of caution.
Wow.....now that's the absolute best description of the state of the world I've ever seen.
By The Moon I love this story. I swear half the time I'm laughing my flank off and the other half I'm practically banging a hole in the wall with my skull. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Everything has gone wrong. As is they can't have a real relationship because they're being inescapably forced to marry abd love it, and bobody seems to care that this is involuntary. Its that one little detail that inverts the whole thing and sends it diving headfirst into the ground, saying that things are terrible and will never get better.
10251328
You know, I get the feeling you either haven't read this story very well, or don't fully understand how the parameters of what is reasonable when it comes to emotions.
Feel free to prove me wrong, but I doubt you will.
10251328
Do you fail to grasp the concept of time skips? Because there was a time skip after almost, if not every chapter. Beyond that, you're far too hung up on how this all started. Do you even realize the geass doesn't contain a compulsion to love each other? It's literally just magical enforcement of the law as it's written, and no where in the law does it say they have to love each other. Only marry. Marriage for clout and/or status is a thing. It's called political marriage. Hell, for the longest time it was a thing in the entirety of real human society.
And so is the opinion of someone who is so depressed and dissatisfied with their own life that they have gone past emotional detachment and have straight up detached from reality altogether.
10251565
I'm in a very good place personally, but have absolutely no hope for this country's future. Say what you want about him (I actually agree with him on a lot of issues), but the fact that we elected fucking Donald Trump is a sign that something is seriously wrong with this country. Look around--record levels of loneliness, lowest recorded life satisfaction, growing inequality-- all of it points to horrifying societal rot.
Don’t forget instituting a duedecimal system and making the gram a base unit.
Putting angry rantings aside, the reason why the fic fails to thrive (at least to me) is that whike the premise and beginning are good, it soon overshoots its goal. The geas controls how thay qct and what they are allowedcto do, both Celestia and Cadence plot together to force Anon and Luna to love each other even against their will. These things combined effectively remove the xharacter agency of the protagonists, making events futile and meaningless. The only real option is to give up and accept what has been decided for them.
Tl;dr by forcing them together too hard it makes it unbelievable that any relationship (romantic or not) they have is real, legitimate, and mutually beneficial.
10258083
I don't know why you feel so strongly about this lol. The point, in my eyes at least, is that two highly compatable individuals, neither of whom know what they really want, are forced into a situation that confronts their ideas for the future and gets them to reveal their true feelings.
10258407
Them being comaptable is part of the problem. Normally that woukd be good, as it says that they would natirally have an inclination ti fall in love and have a mutual relationship. But because their response to them both being forced into something they don't want against their will is to surrender and let it happen says that they cannot actually fall in love for real because it would be the result of them being forced unwillingly.
Basically, the story cones across as holding a person's head under the water instead of handing them a water bottle.
10259067
You must remember that this is a comedy - of course they're forced to get married, it makes for a more entertaining senario. I don't really think it implies anything about what would happen if they weren't forced, only that things work out when they are.
oh, we'll see about that my friend, we'll see about that
10259067
People can only choose base on what they live...and as anyone with a personality it can go in any direction that only they can think of and since these are fictional characters they can only go towards what the autor wants...every story it's a universe on it's own and as long as the structure of said universe is cohesive then everything that the characters end up doing is a moot point cuz it ends up being a matter of opinion.
p.s: sry if its barely understandable it would be easier to explain in spanish for me lol
10251590
I'm sure you're happy we fixed that with Demented Biden......
Trump was a good president.
10941787
I voted for Trump lol.
We elected a cartoon rich person whose entire campaign was a rejection of this country's direction over the past 30 years--a sign, if any, that people aren't happy.
10941793
really? as European that don't know much about USA, I view trump as embodiment of America and its old values.
10944394
It's old values, but not the ones we've had since Reagan. America is a dying nation, and Trump was a last gasp attempt to change course.
10941787
Indeed, Trump actually did most of the things he said he was going to do and made sure government officials didn't pull any stupid stuff under our noses, he was certainly better than Biden thats for sure. Im going to get a lot of dislikes for saying that judging by your comment, but people doing that are only proving me right there :p
OH MY GOD SOMEONE HAS FINALLY FUCKING SAID IT! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!