VI
“In walks some old grandma, cat lady glasses and everything. She takes one look at me, and immediately begs that I not eat her. Before we can even get a word in, she bolts back towards the door and right into a guard."
There’s a weak clatter as Anon throws his fork onto the table.
“The crash was a lot louder than that, but you get the point.”
Luna's struggles to contain her laughter, airy giggles leaking through clenched teeth.
“Indeed! It reminded me of a rather large bell.”
Celestia and Cadence share a look, like parents whose son came home with a swastika tattooed on his forehead.
“She just sits there for like a minute, apparently thinking that we operate on T-Rex rules or something.”
Shining Armor makes himself useful.
“T-Rex rules?”
“Basically, we can’t see her if she doesn’t move. The guard asks if she’s alright, and, I swear to God, she tries to jump out a window. Of course, she doesn’t make it that far, what with levitation and all, and so just floats there in a Superman pose. Luna brings this mare right up to her eyes, and in the coldest voice I’ve ever heard … actually, you do it.”
Luna steels herself, her countenance grim and gaze piercing.
“You seem frightened. Should I call a doctor?”
Dams break, and their laughter fills the dining room. It takes a minute or so before they can breathe, the others watching on in loaded silence.
“Certainly an … interesting series of events. What happened afterwards?”
Celestia is genuinely worried that he ate her.
“She wanted permission to build an orphanage on public land. We allowed it, she thanked us a couple hundred times, and nobody died. Nice lady, if a little jumpy.”
Luna chuckles.
“What did she call you again? ‘The Great and Imperious One’?”
“Something like that. It’s nice to know the public already adores me.”
“I would argue that such a title brings to mind child sacrifice and dark rituals, not benevolence and charity. Perhaps you should work on your image, Rape Ape.”
“I can be Moloch if I want to be, Moonhorse.”
There’s no malice in either of their voices, the whole interaction a noticeable departure from their passive-aggressive shit flinging. And while Celestia fusses about how Anon and Luna treated her little ponies, Cadence is genuinely surprised that their relationship improved so quickly.
“You two seem to be getting along.”
They stop and look at each other.
“So we are. Truth be told, I’ve grown to tolerate him.”
“She’s certainly better company than most other ponies.”
This is a change that they’ve, on a subconscious level, certainly noticed, but haven’t yet bothered to explicitly acknowledge. It’s sobering, almost liberating, to have out in the open, an unexpectedly welcome departure from teenage girl drama bullshit.
“What’s with the third person? You’re sitting right next … never mind. Any plans for tomorrow?”
A minute of silence.
“I’ll take that as a ‘no’. You should take the day off, learn each other’s hobbies and stuff.”
Anon shrugs.
“Sure.”
Luna grunts in the affirmative.
They finish their meals in relative silence.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
Anon twines his fingers and taps his thumbs, inspecting the bookshelves that line the walls.
“Safe to say you like reading?”
Luna sports something that’s halfway between a smirk and a grimace.
“Very astute.”
“What kind of books do you read?”
“Assorted nonfiction, mainly history. It is rather interesting when you have experienced the events firsthoof.”
“I’d imagine so. At least we’ve similar taste.”
A clock ticks, and their discomfort grows. It’s not like Anon and Luna have an awkward crush on each other, or that there’s any real hatred between them, they’re just not the sort to really talk about themselves. They aren’t introverts, per se, but they’re undeniably reserved, and find it unpleasant to discuss their personal lives. This is, perhaps, inspired by a fear of criticism, or maybe even some sort of self-loathing.
Either way, they’d rather be doing most anything else.
“Any other interests?”
“None that Sister would find acceptable.”
This certainly grabs his attention.
“Care to elaborate?”
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
“Mr. Hopper, you really must be more careful.”
Fluttershy tugs on the splint to make sure it’s in place. She rubs the rabbit’s head with a hoof before placing him on the couch, the critter bundled in a nest of pillows and blankets. It’s a minor injury, all things considered, but Fluttershy has always indulged in motherly excess when helping her animal friends.
She retires to a wicker rocking chair and takes a sip of tea, vapor painted yellow in the light of a midday sun. A cool breeze carries birdsong through an open window, and a fireplace merrily pops underneath photos of family and friends. Fluttershy leans back and takes a deep breath, absorbing the …
Terrible screeches fill the air and clods of dirt fly through the window. As the scent of blood and swamp water invades her nostrils, Fluttershy slowly puts her tea on a side table. Her shuddering hoofsteps smear the mess all over the carpet, and her wings are pressed tight around her barrel. Hooves clinging to the windowsill, she forces herself to look outside.
A hydra writhes about in an impact crater. Two of its heads are missing, and blood pours from the wounds that pepper its body, staining the snow and steaming against the cool winter air. It bellows as it shambles out of the crater, facing down the beings that have just burst out of the Everfree.
“Goddamn! Did you really have to throw it?”
“No, but I certainly enjoyed doing so!”
Luna sports a suit of ancient mithril plate, the surface littered with engravings and defensive runes. It practically glows with magic, untarnished despite its copious use. Anon, meanwhile, boasts a copper cooking pot and very, very thick jacket, for everything in the armory had been made for talking horses.
She makes for the beast with a flourish of wings, war hammer held in a cerulean glow. One of the hydra’s remaining heads snaps at her, and she dodges to the left before bringing the hammer down on its neck. There’s a crunch, then a bang as Anon fires his gun. It’s a primitive thing, a Griffon matchlock brought over in a technology exchange, but it certainly does the job, and is sturdy enough to survive when Anon charges the hydra with a bayonet.
It’s dead before long, and the two admire their kill, gasping for breath and covered in blood. They turn to each other and, without a word, move in for a kiss. Tongues and spit meld, and they run back into the forest, whooping like wild apes.
“Oh … oh dear.”
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its a match made in..... heaven?
Well, I guess they definitely found something to bond over.
Not sure how much of Equestria will survive this relationship, but it'll definitely be fun to watch.
Well it seems that they're making the most of the situation, nothing like a nice bit of sun and exercise I always say!
Yes! kitchen ware for armor is the best thing in any media except the news, unless it involves Florida.
10239563
Heaven adjacent territories. They've been outsourcing.
This is probably going to spell the end for the creatures in the Everfree Forest as we know it.
i.imgur.com/GIx5i0C.gif
I am entertained.
10239563
More likely the other place
10239643
Kentucky?
10239563
maybe Valhalla?
nothing more kinky than killing a giant monster
It's amazing just how compatible these two end up being.
The world shall never be the same.
i.imgflip.com/3pplep.jpg
im wondering what would happen if some magic bullshit actually allowed them to have offspring that world will be doomed
Ah yes, bloodsports
The most romantic of avenues to bond over
Ah, yes. The truest form of love where you bathe in your enemies' blood together. They'll have one hell of a marriage. The cleaning bill will bankrupt the nation though.
10239583
You?
You I like.
10239589
Indeed
That's hot!
10/10!
> A clock ticks, and their discomfort grows
The paragraph starting with this screams 'I'm telling instead of showing.'
I can only imagine how Fluttershy’s report to Celestia (through Twinkle Butt) will be received. Talk about the dictionary definition of ambivalence!
10239674
Considering Anon's personality and backstory, it would be safer to assume Roswell, New Mexico.
Is it me or did it suddenly get hotter in here?
10239958
Musician (Liberace) known for his extremely flamboyant clothing. Dump that name into your favorite image search to see many examples.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberace
10239583
I now have this image of a sparkling gated community with flying cars and trendy shopping and dining areas kept neat as a pin.
Saint Peter: Okay mister Hawking, this is where we keep the gays, gorillas that know sign language, and you smart types. Have a happy eternity.
Some experiences may vary based on species and system
Well I see there bonding.
Dude... L-lewd
That kiss was romantic. I'm not even being ironic, that's just beautiful; to find a kindred spirit, even in the arts of war and carnage. Especially in the arts of war and carnage. Luna Best Princess. "One or a thousand, I will KILL THEM ALL!"
Mm
Maybe it's just me, but I think they might like one another
Oh, they're going to be good.
Shared violence against a mutual enemy is one of the best bonding experiences humanity knows of.
10243840
And, apparently, ancient ponies. 🙂
I guess killing a monster does get the blood pumping.
10248635
Yeah, but he still managed to scrag that up. Which just goes to show, never assume you know more than the experts.
10239573
If nothing else, the population (and therefore risk to travelers) of monsters is going to go down to lows never before seen in the last few hundred years, thus making the nation of Equestria a far safer place to live than it's ever been.
I have to wonder if they'll wind up hunting Daring Do's nemesis at some point.
10248834
The tricky part is picking the people who actually are experts from the people who know just enough about a subject to sound like an expert when they're really just talking out their ass for the most part. In that case, I suppose that one should never simply take random info spouted by anyone without doing at least a little research themselves. Hmm....I would do well to take that advice, actually...
When they're magically bound and forced into it without choice an no escape, them suddenly "falling in love" doesn't make it okay, nor does it seem like they actually love each other. If they think it IS, then Cadance shoukd just go ahead and magically beam them with love until they're crazy about each other. Cadance mind controlling them into loving each other is just as valid, which is to say not a all.
wtf?
Oh, dear. This is gonna get weird isn't?
I'll get the popcorn.
10263240
I'll get the sodas and candy.
The worst thing about this chapter is how the hydra's heads didn't split and regrow. That's one of the beast's defining features
10286149
10263240
i'll grab the theater chairs in the backroom
can anyone turn off the lights?
See? Anime tropes work!
Hahaha. The mental image of anon here was awesome.
Yes.
Nothing says I love ya like blood and guts.
“In walks some old grandma, cat lady glasses and everything."
Ohhh, off to A good start already, I see.
"Cat-Lady Glasses". I love this terminology.