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"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...then up and to the right."


Once the portal was opened, new aliens called 'ponies' started appearing all over Earth. They're very friendly and very cute, but there's a problem: They don't seem to understand the concept of 'personal space.'

As I found out a few times.

Featured April 9th, 2020. Thanks guys!

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 73 )

This is a nice goofy little story. Good job my friend.

I enjoyed this first chapter.

I look forward to where this will go.

I would not mind having a pony suddenly appear in my apartment.

This is very similar to my experience with dogs (minus the beer, that is...): They stare at you and they whine making direct eye contact. Then, the very moment you vacate your seat on the couch they steal it from you and then nest themselves in giving you the smuggest grin and a yawn of satisfaction as they steal your seat.

Love the concept and your writing of it!^^ can't wait to see more x33

Dang pones, always a-gittin' in amh house, an' eatin' mah hay!

*Alondro munches on hay*

I'm old, I need fiber!


As soon as I saw the story title, this song immediately came to my mind.

I am in complete control of this pony.

Behold the power of scritches! :pinkiecrazy:

The jig is up! RUN! :rainbowderp:


Mission failed! You've been compromised!

I'm already looking forward to what happens next. :pinkiehappy:

Timid Fluttershy is best Fluttershy.

I mean, it makes sense. Humans are technically animals. She'd be able to talk in his language.

Dude, you don't withhold scritches without damn good reason, that's just needlessly cruel and plainly evil :fluttershyouch:

The military wanted to seize them all and lock them away in laboratories, doing God only knows what kinds of experiments.

DARPA researchers only want one thing and it's DISGUSTING.

Third and fourth arrivals, with the first two on the couch for belly scratches, the next two on the floor for you to use your toes for belly scratches?

Imagine in the not so distant future where there becomes a global crisis in which ponies compete with "native" pets for ear scritches and belly rubs.

10132774 The horror... the horror... :fluttershbad::raritydespair:

He has been infected by Ponychan! Soon he'll transform into a PONE!!

All according to their nefarious plan... :trixieshiftright:

I arched an eyebrow. "So, how do you plan on...ahem..." helping" us?"

She grinned. "By example, of course! Once you're shown how to live, we can only expect you to emulate us!" I looked at her, then at the pony who was currently enjoying a belly scritch.

"Does that...example...include invading my home, drinking my beer, and milk, and invading my privacy?" She waved this off again.

"We didn't think you'd mind. After all, we're only looking out for your wellbeing. How could you refuse?"

This could very well describe the British Empire in India.

He stared at me. "You fool!! Now you'll never get rid of them!! Don't you watch the news?!"

Apparently, Carl didn't... so did I. What did the other ponies do? I hope it was not Lyra or Twilight messed up something at somewhere they should not poke their nose into.

10144596 I’m also sure Britain tried this on the US, South Africa, and Australia.


"Hello inferior people. We are here to civilize you. Now give us your shit!"

10144681 Actually, now that I think about it, that’s how world history post-Black Death to World War 1 went.



Somehow, I don't think the author had this in mind. But it's still true.


But in all seriousness, that mentality had horrific consequences.

In British India, millions of people would die every few years from famine.

Actually, no I didn't. I was doing nothing more than trying to get a laugh. I don't know how it turned into a discussion about British colonialism.

10144677 That was the EXCUSE used for exploitation. It was little more than slavery with a better disguise.

The Roman Empire actually DID try to truly incorporate and convert the conquered lands to the Pax Romana... who was more interesting when she was in the Key to Time arc, as an accomplished Time Lord in her own right and could directly match wits with Tom Baker's Doctor.

My train of thought derailed, on account of my not wearing pants. :derpytongue2:

10144681 That will totally be my speech as I invade everything, everywhere. :trixieshiftright:


I know you were trying to be silly.

But the reality is that so-called "civilized" nations have done harm to the creatures they were trying to "civilize".


You'd be the most honest imperialist.

10150021 I am the best God-Emperor.

10150006 Are you okay? Is the Roman Empire sentient if she can be a Time Lord?

10150337 Romana. Classic Who from the Tom Baker era.

10151081 Thanks. I didn't watch the classic era.

I got a good chuckle from the scene where Rainbow experiences her first time drinking beer and then lets out a loud belch. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Makes me wonder if she'll get Applejack introduced to beer and then challenge her to a drinking contest?

She stopped and stared at me, while her ears drew back and her eyes got really big. Well, bigger. "Aw jeez, not the puppy dog eyes."

:rainbowwild:: "Too late, buddy!"

She stopped eating and stared at me, then at her beer, then back at me. I grabbed hers and popped it open for her. She got up and sniffed it, raised it in both hooves and took a tentative sip, then smacked her lips. Her eyes grew wide, then she threw her head back and drained it in several massive gulps. I guess she liked it.

What have you done?!

It seems I have an overnight houseguest.

Nothing wrong with that.

Good premise!
I enjoyed reading it.

About a week later I was sitting in my usual spot watching TV when I heard a scratching at my door. I got up to open it, curious as to what could be making that noise, then froze. There, on the step, was not one, but two ponies!

Except we are talking about ponies. There can hardly be too much of them; at least two should be manageable.

"Now, what am I going to call you both?" Based on their tattoos, I decided to call the first pony "Bolt" and the second one "Butterfly."

Good enough.

They both followed me and hopped up on either side of me, but I'd made up my mind: no more ear scritches!

:rainbowderp::fluttershyouch:: "How could you be so cruel?"

"Oh, that's good!" she sighed. I immediately stopped and gazed at her in amazement.
"You can talk?!"

:rainbowderp:: "Um... no?"

"So...what are you all doing here? On Earth, I mean?"
Her eyes brightened. "Oh, that's easy! We're here to spread the message of Love and Friendship™!"

Sounds good to me!
And yes, trademarking it is important.

"You ponies are superior moral beings, here to lead us lowly Earthlings to Paradise."
The sarcasm was immediately lost on her, for she merely waved a hoof, smiled and said, "That's quite right. You desperately need our help."

The worst thing is she is actually right.

"I said, did you give any of them ear scritches?! Or belly rubs?!" I nodded.
"Yes, a couple of them!!"
He stared at me. "You fool!! Now you'll never get rid of them!!"

Not the worst fate, I think...

Looking forward to more.:scootangel:

shame it ends here
the idea coulda been utilized more
there's a whole cast of pones to rub

"Would you like an ear scritch, your Highness?"

She knocked the other ponies out of the way and cried, "Me dammit yes!

:rainbowlaugh: Just full of laughs. I agree with 10172539, this could have been utilized way more.

Right off the bat they're terrible guests, more intruder then guest really, and have no respect for the owner of the house. I hope this doesn't just end up with them all forcing their way into his house to take advantage of him with him just caving to it like wet tissue paper.

So yeah, the ponies are terrible and also kinda racist it seems. And they just take advantage of him while proclaiming superiority. Good thing he threw them out, they've just proven themselves garbage so far.

So they actually aren't sorry for invading his life and forcing him to takecare of them, and just want to take adantage of him, and he's fallen in love with the ones qho don't give a single shit avout him or what he wants so they can exploit him more. I thought it was going to end better, but instead they just make him their bitch. Dissapointing.

When you thought you finally got rid of those princesses... !

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