• Member Since 16th Jul, 2019
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Quite The Anonymous


"So many ideas, yet so lazy..."

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A white flower is pleasing to observe; those beautiful, elegant white petals remind us all even in the darkest of days there is still hope—

Non, that's not right. Darkest of days? Now that Emboldenning Charisma is here, the air is filled with excitement and anticipation! He will lead us to triumph and rid us of this brutal Changeling oppression.


A writer's really long comment: A simple story, or complex story if I succeed, meant solely for learning. I wish to intrigue a few competent writers in the opening section and have them tear me up on things I could have done better. It's why I joined the "Equestria at War 2020 Writing Competition." I want to learn and learn well. So, if you read the story through, please tell me what I could improve on. I tried a few new things: showing and not telling a lot more, first-person and inside the mind of a character, foreshadowing, giving different characters accents that distinguish them, and a bunch more! (I mainly want tips on pacing, though.)

TL;DR: I joined this competition to learn instead of winning it. Winning would be cool, but I wrote this primarily to learn. I wanted to see what I could do with a limited number of words I could write, and I was hoping for talented writers to come along and help me improve by giving their feedback. Words don't hurt me, so being blunt helps "get to the point."

Chapters (4)
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