- Member Since 4th Mar, 2018
- offline last seen Sep 2nd, 2023
SpyroForLife
Hey all I'm Spy AKA SFL AKA whatever you wanna call me, anyway I like to write and draw, and here's where you can find my pony stories! I hope you're entertained and if not oh well I tried!
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This was nice. I really liked their dialogue leading up to *ahem* the act.
10100148
Dialogue is always one of my favorite things to write, I like a nice buildup rather than just jumping right into things.
Thank you.
This is a nice sensual build up, but I honestly expected Discord to be more teasing.
Good read though. Keep up the good work.
10100607
He probably should have been but he took pity on her. Maybe he'll be more teasing in the future. Thanks for the comment. :D
I really would like a second chapter with cuddels maybe ♡ Very nice story.
10100152
Immensely agreed. Simple, but very well-written. It doesn't have to be anything complex or lengthy. Sometimes just simple yes or no questions do the trick.
Amazing, very well written. Love your take on discord. I would love to see a sequel, maybe just to see if this blossoms into something more.
10103123
Thanks! I write Discord a lot just because of how much fun he is, so snarky yet he's got that soft spot he reserves for a special few. I may do a continuation but it probably won't be soon, I've got a few other things I'm working on right now and I try not to go back and forth between too many different projects at once. I appreciate the comment though, it's always nice to get feedback.
Yay! A nice little Dislestia fic!
You get an upvote
10103419
Thank you! And you get a like! :D
That sarcasm though
For a clop fic, this felt surprisingly wholesome, and very enjoyable.
10143880
Thank you! I find myself unable to write much porn that doesn't end with wholesome snuggling, as much as I like writing the sex itself I love having the characters be vulnerable and cute together after.
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Damn it, you’re making me hungry for cheese fries ... and you’re making me want a hot tub. This story does a good job of playing up the sensual non-sexual pleasures.
-Grammar issues:
“Pleasant dreams, sister,” Luna saidSister should be capitalized in this usage.wished her a goodnightGood night should be two words when used this way. Could also fix by simply deleting the ‘a’.-The very last sentence is pretty sappy and trite, and probably unnecessary.
-It’s nice to see these two opening up to each other, though I kind of wish there was a moment of Discord being honest and vulnerable.
-A good sense of inner conflict for Celestia.
-Discord has some decent little jokes, though not as much practical humor as he usually has in the show.
-The story takes its time getting into things, which is all for the better because this ship takes a lot of time to get believable enough to happen.
------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 78/100
Allure: 90/100
Enticement: 82/100
Immersion: 85/100
Prose Quality: 74/100
Total Score: 409/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!
10240731
Thank you for the review, can't believe I missed those two grammar mistakes. Will definitely keep in mind for the future. And yeah endings are a weak point of mine. I'm happy you enjoyed it and good luck with the rest of the entries. :D