Hi! I’m Lula.(she/her) :) I love writing and I love mlp!!💗😁 Most of my stories will probably be Equestria Girls and most of my ships are girlxgirl :p
Applejack goes to Rarity’s house after a long, hard day of work at Sweet Apple Acres. They share a sweet moment and Rarity helps Applejack deal with her back pain. Just some short and sweet Rarijack fluff. :)
I hope you all enjoy this story! This is my first fic and I had fun writing it. :) I wrote this based on a fluff prompt I saw on tumblr.
!! I do not own the cover photo. Artist is haibaratomoe !!
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I like it! As you said, it's fluff; however, it's a nice little piece of fluff that makes one feel good. The characters seem true to themselves, and the overall structure flows well.
If I had to offer critique:
Use a lowercase "She" after the dialogue; otherwise, it looks like she spoke the dialogue, and then went on to say something else before tickling.
Put a comma between know and sugar, so that it reads as if she's addressing someone rather than claiming to know about sugar.
Outside of little things like that, just watch out for recycling words, like having Rarity start a lot of her statements with "Oh," and whatnot. Otherwise, nice little story! Hope to read more from you in the future!
10091689
I’m glad you liked it!!
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate the feedback!!
I like it! The story is short and sweet, and it made my day. All in all, the writing flows pretty easily. Applejack and Rarity aren't out of character, and their interactions are realistic. You have earned yourself a watch!
10094447
thank you so much!!! that really means a lot and i’m glad you enjoyed it! and thank you for the watch too!
Light and fluffy and sweet.
Not much of a story, but a fine thing to read while sipping coffee on a slow morning, getting the day started with a smile.
10103216
thank you!!
very nice story :). i quite enjoyed, just a nice moment between 2 lovers :)