Not bad of a chapter the only thing wrong is a few words that are missing

10083126
I gave it another look and other than a few errors and changing a few words to flow better I didn't see any missing words, there was a spot where I made the mistake of hitting the enter key instead of backspace though, that'll teach me to write when i'm tired.

10083259
A few sentences were missing the word "the"

10083357
Did I get 'em?

10083358
I'll have to reread it later a bit busy irl

Did you edit something?

10083699
Clicked the publish button by accident.

It's suprisingly well written, so far the only complain i have is the system allerts - the letters are too big.
Other than that? Well so far theres not enough material to write a proper opinion. And i'm looking foreward to Future chapters

10084223
Thanks for the compliment, I do the editing myself. How do you mean by surprisingly well written? No offence taken, just curious.

10084289
Well no offense but most stories with a powerful protagonist are just mary/gary stu very few autors can get it right and event Then the characters feel a bit flat, but here so far i see a lot of potencial, true Krystal IS powerful but not unbeatable and she knows it, just make sure to take her down a notch from time to time

10084357
That's kind of why I decided to go with the suit, like in the metroid games the armor can be damaged, even broken.

10080603
Yeah, the next scene involves it.

Zecora The Shamaness'

Why didn't I surprise that Zecora will be the first being Krystal would meet in the middle of the forest?

10084365
I am loving this and I kinda excepted a Spartan armor for her, but the one you picked is good too, I look forward to reading this next chapter

rofl there seems to be some corruption of champions stuff in there and this looks to be seriously kinky and sex filled me like

I get the feeling that Krystal having the cards stacked in her favor so heavily this early on is gonna backfire on her hard later.