“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.” - Patrick Rothfuss
Twilight Sparkle is a seeker of knowledge, particularly lost knowledge. So when she finds a question no book will answer, she asks Princess Celestia.
But there's a reason that there are no male alicorns, and the answer is not what Twilight expected.
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SEQUEL
Okay, I can buy Twilight being with somepony. But why Rarity of all things?
10083270
>Monochromatic has entered the chat.
I wonder if Sunset was better or worse than Twilight with regards to the whole "popping in at all hours" thing.
As for the revelation... I was not expecting that. Really, it seems like a massive maladaption for K-selection breeders. Which pans out, given how alicorns are nearly extinct. This was odd. And fun. But odd. Though I did quite like the punchline.
I'm half convinced Celestia is screwing with her... or maybe that's just the denial talking.
10083287
You haven’t already twilight?
10083270
MONOCHROMATIC HAS ENTERED THE CHAT
10083287
God dammit great minds and all that
Traditions that are dumb tend to die or be replaced by symbolic ones, I think cannibalistic mating is one of those.
10083270
What better pony for an alicorn to eat after (or during, even) sex than marshmallow pony
.
Didn't this used to have more chapters?
10083667
That's an excuse. Not a reason. If this was done by Monochromatic, then I'd get it.
No, Twilight, you don't, as Rarity is not a male alicorn.
Unless there's more you're not telling us...?
As a tradition after marriage yes, she has to eat her, but phisically, not, they won't get offsprings due to both being female. Now, there is one question left, If Celestia ate the males to extinction, where in the hey are the supposed alicorns born from said act? there should be plenty of alicorns if the males were consume for pregnancy, but there isn't, so where are they?
She's just covering up for the fact that it was actually Death by Snu-Snu wasn't she?
So if Celestia ate her mates... where are all her egg sacks that she'd... oh... OHHH!!!
What if... ERMAHGERD!! DER CHERNGELERNGS ER CERLERSTERER'S ERFSSPRERNG!!!
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DEATH BY SNU SNU (futurama reference -quoted 2020)
Alicorns are black widows.
......
So was Chrysalis an alicorn that took "eating love" entirely the wrong way?
Ok that makes no sence... There no insects with massiv numbers of children.
Rarity, start running, and hope you find a place to hide where Twilight can't find you.
There needs to be a sequel to this! after all Twilight had to have taken notes while she was talking to princess Celestia and then afterwards decided not to tell anyone else for fear of causing panic but instead of destroying her notes she hid them. Enter Rarity one day at twilight's castle looking for Twilight and she stumbles across the notes in the library for Twilight had been reading them and accidentally left them out. That would be a great way to start off a comedic chase through town where everyone thinks Rarity is being melodramatic as she yells about Twilight trying to eat her.
10083270
Why not?
10235663
Because there was literally nothing that said Twilight and Rarity were a thing. If there were hints, and I don't mean just Twilight asking Celestia the question in the first place, then I could buy it.
10235681
Sure there was.
Twilight said it.
10083287 "Well..." Princess Celestia took a measured sip of tea. "Since you are not pregnant, and most likely will not become so as you travel down this path--excepting certain spells--I would presume the actual consumption of your mate would be unwise. And criminal, I might add. Something we added to the unified Equestrian code a century or two ago. "
"Oh," said Twilight, obviously relieved and confused at the same time. "Well, that's a relief, at least."
"I would caution you against going to bed hungry," added Celestia. "Nothing is worse than going to bed next to your prospective paramour and waking up only to find a few scraps of hair and some feathers."
"Oh," said Twilight again.
"A slice or two of cake at bedtime should do the trick," said Celestia. "It has worked wonders for me, and I haven't lost a Royal Guard in years now."
"That's... nice," said Twilight. She produced a notepad and jotted down a few of the salient points of the conversation, just to ensure she would not miss anything when she passed it along. "Rarity is going to be so glad to hear I'm not going to eat her."
"Oh, I didn't mean that exactly," said Celestia. "It shows appreciation for your mate and respect for our culture to at least nibble a little around the interesting bits."
"That's how we wound up with the question," muttered Twilight, pressing so hard against the notebook that the pencil point threatened to punch through the paper.
Futality!?
Twilight, if you *aren't* eating Rarity already as a matter of course, I have to imagine she's very disappointed in you. :V
You made a tradition just so Rarity being a mare aswell wouldn't rule out sexual cannibalism.
You absolute madman
Did she succeed?
Wow, that is an interesting explanation...
Never thought of that.
oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-
No, Twilight. That's what she just got done saying. Listen.
10235681
I think it would be difficult to do in implementation. The author would have to pick someone as Twilight's partner, and with Rarity being one of the most popular characters to ship with Twilight, it's been normalized enough for us as readers. Foreshadowing of Twilight having any relationships would spoil the punchline at the end a bit, since it mostly relies on the shock value to elicit a laugh. Also, thinking through it a bit, Rarity, of all ponies, would probably have the funniest reaction to being informed, balancing her revulsion with an awkward want to stick to propriety.
This time, the tea was thoroughly prepared, and fled through the right nostril with a skill Trixie Lulamoon would have given up several teeth for.
"Wh--what?" Celestia managed to get out, after a few moments of spluttering and choking.
"I mean, I thought that term was just an euphemism, actually. I didn't understand I was like literally supposed to eat her. I wasted two and a half, no, three and a half days. Now I'll have to go back and..."
"Twilight..."
"She's not old, per se, but definitely no spring chicken anymore. I better get started immediately; even famished, it's going to take a few days, and what do I do with any stringy parts? And can you help me with thinking up an ironclad excuse for Sweetie Belle and Rarity's parents?"
"Twilight, I EXPRESSLY forbid that you eat anypony!" Celestia exclaimed with a flash of her eyes as she stood up.
"Why not?" Twilight asked innocently.
"I was making a joke! Sun's Day, you always come by and ask some of the most inane questions at times! I forbid you eating anypony, especially the one single pony in this world that gets my dress measurements correct the first time she measures me! I REFUSE to wear those burlap sacks other designers make for me!"
Oh. So, not really."
"OF COURSE, NOT REALLY! Are you insane?"
"No. Just tired of all the worn out pranks you pull on me ALL THE TIME...!!!"
10245986
Oooff...