The Other Side of Someday

by FoolAmongTheStars

Hearts Don't Break Even

They find themselves sitting on a bench in the middle of a dimly lit park across the bay. Starlight looked at the man at her side with an intrigued look. He didn’t notice because his eyes are fixed on the ground, and his hands are stuffed into the pockets of his blue sweater. Typical Sunburst, she smirked. 'Seems like there are things that haven't changed, huh?' She pondered as she stared ahead, squinting as she made sense of their surroundings.

She doesn't know why he was here with her when he could've stayed at the bar and drink himself to oblivion or slumber or something, but he's here. She wanted to make sure that she wasn’t seeing things, that this wasn’t the alcohol (which is crazy, because she only had one glass), and that, yes, this was Sunburst, in the flesh and very much alive and well. She reached out with her hand tentatively, but backs away at the last minute, unsure of how he would react, or if he was even going to react at all.

"I didn't know you were in the area." She began. She was always the first one to speak when it came to this man.

Sunburst finally looked at her from the corner of his silver glasses, but his hands never leave his pockets. "I just arrived here, about three hours ago."

She sighed and smiled. "Work?"

He nodded, and then his eyes were glued to the ground again. "Cadance is here, too."

"Of course," she agreed softly, "she's your boss."

Hidden underneath his beard, it was small and almost unrecognizable, but Starlight could tell that Sunburst was smiling as he nodded.

If the air around them weren’t so thick, and if the tension between weren’t so palpable, the woman would have laughed at the absurdness of the situation. It was hilarious to think how silence always came easy for them, with Sunburst being reserved by nature, but this wasn’t the kind of quiet that she found comforting. It was heavy, gloomy, and almost suffocating. It didn’t help that it was just the two of them, nothing to distract them or to break the tension. The sound of the ocean crashing on the rocky shore wasn’t enough to drown the growing air of awkwardness embracing them. Someone had to do something, she told herself, and she braced herself for another round of contrived pleasantries but he beat her to it.

"How's…everything with you?"

'Everything with me?' she echoed in her head, ' you really mean to ask me that right now, huh?' Starlight rolled her eyes and snorted. "Great. What about you?"

Sunburst didn’t answer immediately (but he usually didn’t answer immediately, she reminded herself). She saw him frowning slightly and he seemed to be deep in thought (which he usually was, she reminded herself again). She couldn’t tell what it was, but she was certain his mind was churning.

"How's Luster?" he answered with a question, and this irritated her slightly because he always told her what's wrong, and what he was thinking. Perhaps something changed in the two years since they've separated?

But she told herself to calm down. Starlight breathed in, and breathed out, and stopped when she felt the thumping in her chest lessen. She looked at him and forced a grin on her lips before replying. "She's in first grade now, and she seems to be enjoying school for someone her age."

He chuckled lightly (and oh, how she missed that sound). "I guess she got that from me, huh?"

Starlight snorted. "Well, she got her beauty and her stubbornness from me. She had to get something from you."

She willed herself not to lose it when she saw the fond smile on his face—something that she also missed, she daresay—when she talked some more about their daughter. It was almost endearing; almost, because they aren't together anymore, and he's not supposed to be endearing in any way, because he's no longer her husband. Right now, it feels like her chest has been hacked several times and left on the road to bleed.

---

Somehow, he escorted her to her home (previously their home), but this time, Sunburst walked in step with her. The silence that sat between them wasn’t as heavy and as crusty, but they are still an arm's length away from each other, and Starlight didn’t reach out to make sure that she wasn’t imagining this whole thing. She didn’t feel woozy anymore, maybe she sweated the alcohol out of her system about an hour ago, with all the brisk walking and the nervousness she put herself through.

In all honesty, she wanted to know how he was doing. Had he been eating healthily like he's supposed to? Had his hermit-like lifestyle changed at all since they broke up? Was he sleeping well and getting enough rest (unlike her, who's gotten used to tossing and turning and weeping in the dead hours of the night)? How was he dealing with their divorce? Was he seeing someone new (and this made her chest ache, much to her shock)? Had he started over with a new family (the chest constrictions are back again)? She shook her head as discreetly as she could to rid her mind of such thoughts and decided to talk some more before he left again.

"What brings you here?" Not exactly on the top of the list of her questions, but she was curious about this too.

He took his time answering again, he frowned and cleared his throat. "Cadance and the rest of our team will be here for a while because we'll be implementing her research in several universities around the area."

"Oh? Research on what?"

"Student attitude towards their elective classes at the tertiary level. Each of us is assigned a university to gather data from."

Starlight nodded. "Which university are you assigned to?"

She saw his face fall for a moment before it returned to his usual unperturbed expression. Starlight cocked an eyebrow, telling him to go on (like she always did when they got into petty arguments). Sunburst's gaze shifted from his leather shoes to her eyes, and his fingers are once again fumbling with his sweater. She nodded her head once, a sign that impatience was starting to take over (which usually happened when Sunburst didn’t want to talk about their issues every time they fought).

He sighed loudly and closed his eyes. "I'm assigned to your university."

"Oh." Starlight briefly wondered if the Gods above had forsaken her. "Uh, looking forward to working with you, I guess?"

Sunburst lets out an awkward chuckle as he reached out his hand to her. "I guess?"

But she didn’t take the offered hand. She just stared at it for a moment before walking ahead.

---

They are in front of Starlight's house, standing close to the gate, and waiting for Sunset to let her in. She heard the sound of the wooden door creak open; she saw a blur of red and yellow approaching them from the small grills of the steel gate. The lock clicked and the gateway swung open, and they're greeted by a smiling Sunset.

"Welcome back!" she greeted sweetly, then paled when her eyes finally saw the person standing next to her. "S-Sunburst?!"

Said man only offered a little smile and a nod. "It's been a while, Sunset."

She opened the gate wider to step out and handed Starlight the keys to the house. "Y-Yeah, long time no see." And she laughed awkwardly as she alternately looked at the ‘couple’ in front of her and started to leave. "Anyway, Luster's asleep now, and I need to show up to work early tomorrow so, bye you two, I gotta go! Good night!"

Even before Starlight could say good night and hand her the money, Sunset Shimmer was off, without even sparing a look. She sighed.

Her eyes met his once more as she fumbled with the keys in her hands, the metal ringing merrily in the night. "You didn't have to walk me home, but thanks for the company."

"Yeah, no problem, I left my car at the place where we're all staying anyway." He mumbled as he scratched the back of his neck, something Starlight knew meant he was embarrassed. She almost giggled.

"It's okay. I like walking anyway—" she wondered if she should even be keeping him this long when they aren't married anymore, so she paused and exhaled as she grabbed the handle of the gate. "Good night, Sunburst."

She doesn't even wait for him to reply, she just closed the gate in front of his face and didn’t look back to check if he left immediately or if he stayed for a while. Half of her is disappointed that he didn't stop her from closing the gate on him, but the other half is relieved that he wasn’t there, any more time with him and she would’ve asked him to spend the night, and who knew where that could lead (that was a lie, she knew where it will lead to. The Lord knew she longed for what it would lead to). But she couldn’t do that. They couldn’t do that. Not anymore. And she had a daughter to go back home to. She can't just leave Luster for her own, selfish desires.

---

She dropped by Luster Dawn’s room before heading to hers. She sat on the edge of the bed and planted a kiss on the little girl’s forehead, gently petting the messy curls of soft blonde hair. By then, her eyes were watery, and she did her best to hold her tears until she was inside her bathroom for a nice, cold shower to cap the day off.

"I'm sorry mommy couldn't give you a nice and loving family." She whispered, and a lone tear trickled down her cheek. Before the waterworks could escalate, she stood up from the bed and gently closed the door to her daughter's room. Someone would be spending an hour in the shower, crying, it seemed.

And she did cry. She cried because she felt guilty for her family falling apart. She cried because Sunburst is back, but not in her arms, or in the house, or in her life, and she didn’t realize until then that she wasn’t over the man, even if she hadn’t seen or heard from him for two solid years. She cried because she felt pathetic for not being able to move on as she should have done. She cried because in reality, what she really wanted was someone—not just Luster—to share her achievements and her life with her. She cried because she wanted that someone to be Sunburst. Badly. Why did she have to see him again, if it was only going to make things more difficult for her?

She turned the faucet off and took a deep breath. The heavens must hate her with a burning passion, she thought and stepped out of the shower area to dry herself up. Because if it had her best interest in mind then why did they make her cross the same road again?

Screw destiny; this was the universe giving her a middle finger for being the horrible person that she was.