College student, terrible writer, Pegasister since 2010. What more can I say?
Shipping 💖11,669 stories ·9,737 members
The Fillyfoolers3,945 stories ·3,489 members
The Writers' Group56,384 stories ·9,291 members
One-Shots18,903 stories ·2,369 members
Slice of Life8,152 stories ·1,460 members
Romance is Magic!5,371 stories ·1,721 members
Equestria Girls Fics12,108 stories ·3,766 members
It's been nearly a decade since the Battle of the Bands, but Adagio's guilt hasn't left her yet. Sunset is able to get her through it, and just hours later, has a very important question for her beloved.
(Rated Teen for a few profane words.)
Page generated in 0.078 seconds
Total duration
768 users online
705,343 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I feel like your impression of this is fairly spot-on. It's reasonably competent, for what it is, but I feel like the main thing holding this back was its ambition, or lack thereof. I felt like it presented ideas that it didn't try to explore in much detail, and that's really what makes it not leave much of an impression on me.
Your prose seems decent enough, though. As a minor nitpick, I'd question how many exact numbers you need to keep--my finding is that clarifying it's, say, two in the morning instead of half-past two is usually not a very evocative detail, so most of the time I think there are likely better options. But I didn't notice anything else glaring and systemic. So I hope you keep writing! I think you're definitely at a point where setting your sights higher and aiming for something a little more complex would be doable and rewarding.
10064312
Thanks for the feedback. I know there's a few screw-ups here and there, but I'm not that great of a writer, so I did what I could.
I used the time frame that I did, because I wasn't focused much on accuracy of time, I was just following the plot. I also wrote this early in the morning when I had nothing much to do, so I knew it wasn't going to come out as my best work.
So yes, I'm aware of what needs to be fixed in my future works, but nevertheless, I'm glad my impression of this was decent from your perspective. Thanks again.
Beautifully written, no joke.
10064912
Thank you!
Well, THAT was adorable. Short, sweet, a nice way to cap off my daily FIMfiction time before bed. Thanx.
10077598
Thank you, and thank you for favoriting! Glad you enjoyed it!
awww 😍so beautiful
Aww 🥺😍 , la suite ?
i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/033/779/I've_Looked_At_This_For_Five_Hours_Now_Banner.jpg
She's right, we all have to forgive ourselves for many bad moments from our past. Wether we like it or not.
See adagio, sunset forgives you and cares a lot about you.
Yep, it's kinda obvious what Sunset has planned.