Chapter 2
Chapter 2
The cloud of smoke cleared, but Twilight wasn’t in Canterlot’s Royal Palace. In fact, she hadn’t moved at all.
“Gosh, that’s strange,” she said with a puzzled look on her face. “I’ve never messed up a spell like this before!”
Spike gently poked Twilight in the leg. “Um, Twilight, I think you teleported them here,” he explained as he pointed towards a colt and pony standing before them. “They weren’t here a second ago.”
Twilight looked at the newcomers. The colt was colored a deep black with a red mane and a skull-and-bones for a cutie mark. The pony was an white alicorn with a light yellow mane. Her cutie mark depicted the galaxy, with planets orbiting in perfect harmony.
“Wow, I’ve never seen that before!” remarked Twilight. “The only alicorns I’ve ever met before are the two Princesses! Are you a princess from a distant land?”
“Oh no, I’m not a princess. But, um, where am I?”
“I’m so sorry! I should’ve introduced myself,” replied a blushing Twilight. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and this here is Ponyville! We’re glad you could come to our emergency meeting on the weather problem we’ve been having lately. Would you happen to know anything about it?”
“Shut up!” snapped the black colt. “Go die, you stupid pony.”
“Don’t mind him, Twilight Sparkle,” explained the beautiful alicorn. “Charlie get angry sometimes. My name is Mary Sue, and I have no idea how I got here.”
“I’m Spike, and it’s nice to meet you,” said the young dragon. “But I think Twilight here messed up a spell, and it must’ve teleported you guys here.”
“Teleport? Oh dear!” gasped Mary. “This is one awfully strange dream I’m having. Charlie must’ve knocked me out or something.”
“This isn’t a dream, Mary,” replied Twilight in a comforting tone. “I know this must be difficult for you to be in a new environment far away from home, but I promise I’ll do my best to teleport you back.”
Mary looked at the unicorn in disbelief. What is happening to me? Why am I a pony? This can’t be real. There’s no way this is actually happening to me.
“Would you happen to be from Canterlot, by any chance?”
“Um, no. I don’t even know what Canterlot is. We’re from Irving, Kansas.”
“Oh, I’ve never heard of that place, before! I guess I should do more reading on geography.” Twilight turned to Spike. “Spike, remind me to read a geography book when we return to the library today.”
When Spike didn’t respond, Twilight noticed that he was staring at the new colt. Twilight looked over to see, and it was screaming viciously. The crowd was frantically dispersing, causing a scene of chaos and destruction.
“How did I not notice this?” thought Twilight aloud.
“It’s because you had a lampshade over your head, silly!” cried Pinkie Pie.
“When did you get here!? And why are you holding a lampshade!?”
“I’ve been here this whole time!”
“Why is that colt screaming?”
“It looks like he’s stuck in the ground. Those things he has on his feet have little spikes on the bottom of them.”
“How do you know that, Pinkie?”
The pink earth pony simply shrugged and put the lampshade over her head. She then proceeded to make ghost noises and walk towards Sugarcube Corner.
“Well, that was strange,” commented Spike.
Twilight cast a quick look at the scene before returning to Spike. “We need to find a way to get this colt out of here!”
“Try teleporting him back,” Spike suggested.
“Okay.”
Twilight concentrated on summoning her magical unicorn powers, but the clamor of the crowd disrupted her focus. Instead of sending away Charlie, she instead brought two new figures into Ponyville.
One was a blue hedgehog who immediately began darting around. He suddenly jumped into the air and collided with Rainbow Dash, who was just arriving to investigate the source of commotion.
“I love you,” professed the hedgehog. “Will you love me?” He held out a rose towards the pegasus and raised an eyebrow.
“Um, no thanks, creep,” retorted Rainbow Dash. Before she had finished her sentence, she felt a sharp pain in her sides. Attempting to retreat to the clouds, she soon realized that her wings had been sliced off.
“No! Not my wings!” cried Rainbow Dash.
The hedgehog chuckled. “Now you can’t escape from me, my love.”
The blue pegasus began running towards the hedgehog, who darted away. After a brief silence, the other newcomer spoke.
“My name is Merriam Webster,” began a small spider. “Why is everything bigger and eight?”
“This is getting too weird!” yelled Twilight. She quickly began working on another spell, but her focus was so shattered that she accidentally the whole Equestria.
“Oh no. Equestria is gone.”
The Fallout of the nuclear explosion spared only Twilight, Mary Sue, and the deformed Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy had kissed Applejack in the final moment, and the two shared their last moment in love. On the ground lay a cupcake, the frosting of which was Dash-ed with Rainbow sprinkles. A singular image of Nyx appeared in Luna’s moon. It was the End of Ponies. The only noise audible was a faint clop.
The war was over. Peace had been brought to Equestria, and the evil Charlie had been incinerated in the nuclear explosion. The Warhammer 40k and Slendermen were also gone. As there were no longer any other males in Ponyville, I was now free to express my love to Twilight Sparkle.
I walked up to Twilight and said, “I love you.” By confronting my fears, I was magically transformed into a pony and then an alicorn. She smiled and we lived happily ever after in perpetual euphoria.
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seems legit
At least if you're going to write a trollfic, do a clever one.
I laughed, I cried, I fapped.
70673
>implying it's not clever
Your description is shorter than your title.
You, sir, take logic as a mere suggestion.
Cupcakes... Past Sins...
Wait a minute
I FIND THIS VERY HARD TO MASTURBATE TO
70676
Don't worry. It's not.
That may have been one of the better trollfics I've read.
That's sorta damning with faint praise, though, since I've never read any enjoyable trollfics in my life.
70673
I am personally convinced that this fic was written by God himself. Once Merriam Webster showed up that proved it.
Out of all the useless shit I've been exposed to, this one amused me a little.
These internets are heavy. Take three.
This schit, is the best thing I have ever read ever.
70698
I laughed at a video of some random guy beating a poodle toy to death when I was 16.
I still laugh every time I see it.
HA! I'M A WORSE PERSON! I WIN!
The references to other bad fanfics were cute, but the whole concept of parodying bad writing was played out long ago. Nor is this a particularly clever parody, as mentioned above. I admit to one halfhearted chuckle, but other than that, it falls flat entirely. You also missed any chance at deeply disturbing your reader by failing to build any sort of reader engagement or sympathy before launching into the mindless death.
The rating system doesn't permit the negative numbers that this would normally warrant, so I'll give it 2/5 as a trollfic for giving me an excuse to entertain myself by writing this comment.
I love you.
70814 AGAIN
anyad.rulez.org/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=83634&g2_serialNumber=3
This... This isn't very good...
70824 Shut your face!
70825
Don't get me wrong, as far as this sort of crack/parody fic goes, I've seen far worse, and the fact that it's merely mediocre is sort of astounding given that the genre tends to be composed of either utter trash or absurd brilliance. I just think this is a 2/5 example of a genre that tends to be .5/5 or 5/5 with no middle ground. I just don't find it very funny.
Title is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to long.
What is this i don't even...
Best fic 2011.
What a clusterfuck of a title...
*read*
I lol'd at this pretty hard :P Good job
70673
This was incredibly clever xD
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH OMG!........OMG!.......I'M DYING! HAHAAHAH HELP ME!!!!!!!!
What the Shit???
70835
NO REALLY THANK YOU FOR POINTING THAT OUT GOOD SIR I WOULD NEVER HAVE NOTICED
YOU ARE THE BEST
I CAN TELL YOU ARE AN ADEPT AT UNDERSTANDING HUMOUR
Not even on cocaine did I find this story amusing.
>>Tally-Wacker (guest)
Implying your on cocaine.
...sir you have single handedly manged to even mindfuck me and that takes some sort of skill.
CONGRATULATIONS U GET A FUCKING COOKIE MADE OF MAN
So ....Sonic took off rainbow dash wings, there's a mad man looking for blood on the lose,
Merriam Webster some how got in there, Mary Sue (Which is what the fic is) is handing this situation like a boss,
and the ponies are the only normal ones here........ Thank god im a troll or otherwise I'd be mindfucked by now.
i havent even read it yet, and i'm still confused.... just.... what?
THE FUCK WAS GOING ON IN THE LAST CHAPTER DA FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
ALL I'M GONNA SAY IS...
MAJOR
FUCKING
MINDFUCK
This was, without a doubt, the most moving piece of literature I have read in a long while. The characters were well-developed, the plot left no room for confusion, and your well-worded introductions of overused characters completely eliminated the normal sense of cliché one would feel when Merriam Webster or Rainbow Dash enters the scene in other fanfics. Your title was flawless: a little short, but interesting enough to grasp my unwavering attention. The only possible error I could find was the fact that Merriam Webster wondered why everything was bigger and eight, when, in the thrilling and captivating masterpiece "Spiderses," it is clear that he already knew why everything was bigger and eight. However, I grant you, as the author, the perfect liberty to make whatever changes to your characters as you feel are necessary, and you kept him in impeccable character while negotiating this change. Five stars, my friend. Five stars.
I HAD to read this for the fucking huge ass title
>Supermunchor And that's only the title!
images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/4/19/91644d4a-013c-400e-b14d-41460a4b9570.jpg
[img]file:///C:/Users/youngk8/Pictures/Reaction%20images/I%20like%20what%20I'm%20reading.jpg[/img]
What the ass is this fuck and how did it get approved?
So you basically took ED's entire list of things not to do and made it a title. Lets see where this is going.
70683 I agree.
Maybe you shouldn't put the description because THE TITLE EXPLAINS IT ALL!
*looks at title*
Hmmmm I wonder what's gonna happen in this story?
I was very unimpressed up until the last paragraph or so, which made me laugh pretty hard. So... Good job...? I think?
I dont get any of this its too complicated and blurry mixed up
My God, it's full of memes.