Deep Undercover

by Shakespearicles

The Changeling Who Was Thursday

"This would be a lot easier if I flew," Ember said, panting as she ran through White Tail Woods. Running on the ground as a biped, she wasn't much for marathons. Dragons were natural sprinters. Very dangerous over short distances. As a dragon, she was better suited in the air, where speed and agility were on her side with her powerful wings.

"Yeah, but that'd defeat the purpose," Rockhoof said, briskly jogging beside her. "The point is to run to shake down the leaves! We did dragon stuff last week, smash'n rocks. Ye said ye wanted to do this the pony way."

"Fire- would be- faster!" Ember said between panting.

"We don't need t'be turnin' the forest into a war zone, lass!" Rockhoof said.

"Lass!? I'm almost 50!" Ember barked.

"Yeah, and Imma few decades north a grand! Compared t' that ye' just a wee babe!" He laughed. "But don't call meh old! I kin still run laps right round yer scaly bum!"

Ember glared at him. She was starting to question Spike's logic in even suggesting this to her.

"Have you tried dating a pony?"

Dragon Lord Ember had balked at the question at first. But she had been craving simple companionship outside of the gladiatorial dragon competition to be her suitor. Especially given the current crop of potential suitors, to include Garble and his peers.

But Spike made a compelling argument with his inquiry. The Friendship Ambassador and Royal Adviser to Princess Twilight Sparkle had often waxed on about a particular fashion unicorn back in Ponyville. Until then, Ember had merely tolerated ponies as 'friends'. She was eventually willing to try, though she was dubious that any pony would be able to meet up to her standards.

Rather than the overabundance of potential suitors she faced back in Draconia, pony mates were scarce and scared. Her first taker was actually none other than Flash Magnus. Brazen and fearless, she rather enjoyed him. But her father, the former dragon lord, Torch, seemed to take particular issue with her dating him of all ponies. Apparently the two of them had some kind of history.

She didn't have far to look after Flash, however. His friend Rockhoof seemed like an even better match for her. As tough and rugged as anypony could be without magical clout. He was the only pony who could pass her first test: beating her at arm wrestling.

"Look, last week we did dragon stuff like rock smash'n. Ye said you would try pony stuff this week," Rockhoof said. "And this week is the Running of the Leaves. So we're doing it the pony way!"

Ember hadn't the breath to continue arguing. She just focused on running. It was not her idea of a fun outing. That was all it really was. An outing with a pony. Sometimes they did pony stuff like this. Sometimes they did dragon stuff. Sometimes they just sat on the bridge and watched the sunset while she held his hoof. But that's not mushy at all since they were watching the sun, which is a giant ball of fire, so it's actually pretty awesome and epic and not at all a date and heaven help anypony they heard say that.

They finished the run together. They weren't first. But they weren't last either. Rockhoof could have easily ran faster, and further, but she was holding him back. and Ember could have easily set the entire forest on fire, but he held her back as well. That was a pretty good summation of their entire relationship. One defined by the limitations each imposed on the other. And for what?

"Ember, I gotta ask you; what are we even doing?" Rockhoof asked.

"The Running of the Leaves?"

"No, I mean, you and I. This." He motioned between them. "It's been weeks, but I'm not feeling any love from you." Ember balked.

"What!? Love!? Dragons don't 'love'. We can only not kill," she said. "And what about you? I thought you ponies were full of love! I'm not feeling it either. But at least I'm trying."

"Well I'm so flattered from all ye not-kill'n. But it's not really workin' out," he said.

"What are you saying?" she asked.

"I'm saying I don't think we need t'be courtin' n'more!"

"You're breaking up with me!?"

"Aye!"

"I'm the Dragon Lord! I break up with you! You don't break up with me!" she yelled.

"Oi? Well how'd I dew it then? Cuz I just did! Riddle me that, lizzie!" he shouted.

"So what now?"

"Ye can go home t' not-kill'n one a ye drake mates then," he said. And with that he turned and left. Ember huffed and turned to go the other direction.

---

The blue dragon lord flew to the borders of Equestria, approaching not Draconia, but the changeling hive. Landing in front of the entrance, the changeling shed her disguise as Ember.

"Almost a month in the field and nothing to show for it," she grumbled to the other drones. "I tried my best to get love from Rockhoof, doing pony things like he wanted. But it's hard keeping up with an earth pony when you're disguised as a dragon. It was like trying to squeeze love from a rock... hoof."

"Don't sweat it too much," another said, offering her a consolation drink. "Here, have some nectar." She sat there and nursed her drink until another changeling returned to the hive. By the look on his face it seemed like he hadn't fared much better.

"No luck?" she asked. He shook his head.

"No. But I didn't really expect to succeed. I ended up aborting the mission rather than wasting any more time. Maybe if I had been assigned to a pony instead of a dragon."

"Wait! Which dragon!?" she asked.

"The dragon lord, Princess Ember," he said.

"And you were disguised as Rockhoof?" she asked. He nodded. He wasn't surprised that she knew. The changeling spy network was pretty widespread.

"Yeah. I broke up with her this morning after the Running of the Leaves," he said. She smacked her forehead with her hoof.

"That was me, you doofus!" she yelled. "I was disguised as Ember! No wonder I couldn't get any love from you!"

"No wonder I couldn't get any love from you!" he echoed.

"Wait, so where's the real Ember and Rockhoof?"

---

"Do ye think they figured it out yet?" Rockhoof asked, swirling the piña colada in his coconut cup. The stocky earth pony looked over at the lithe dragon lord sitting in the beach chair next to his.

"Don't know. Don't care. I'm just happy for this vacation. I've needed this escape for a long time," Ember said. She glanced over the brim of her sunglasses at the gathering clouds. A few drops of rain started to sprinkle. "Oh no! Rain!"

"Wha? Are ye gonna melt or somethin?" he asked.

"N- no!" she said defensively.

"Then quit ye belly ache'n! This is good highland weather. The rain's falling straight down." He sipped his piña colada. "Besides... I like getting caught in the rain."

Comments

[Little_Draco]

Motherfcker!!! This threw me off and a whole lot of minutes to understand the freckin ending!

[Shakespearicles]

10063242

[Olden Bronie]

That was a cool story!

[Juria]

I got it!

[MixMassBasher]

That was hilarious and fun to read!

[FanOfMostEverything]

I never knew...

In any case, delightful nonsense. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.

[nofreshfish]

Seriously, how the hell do you get me so immersed in a story in just 1000 words? I even forgot the tags. There's absolutely nothing special to the plot itself! This is magic.