• Member Since 1st Nov, 2016
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Whenever you feel small and insignificant, just remember: Middle Earth was saved by a nobody...and his gardener.


The USS Exeter, still damaged after a recent battle, scans a certain planet and finds evidence of much-needed dilithium crystals on the surface. Scans also show it's a pre-warp civilization, so the Prime Directive is in full force.

But they need those crystals, as the nearest starbase is hundreds of lightyears away. They only need a few pounds of them to repair their warp drive, then they can be back on course. How hard could it be to beam in, get the crystals from the primitives, and beam out?

What they don't know about is the white unicorn who's been using them for her dresses.

Those poor fools...

Story idea stolen BORROWED from Estee's Utterly Mundane Crossovers blog.

Now made into an audio play by Visual Pony!

Also featured on Equestria Daily!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 47 )

Absolutely awesome! I want to see a sequel where Twilight suddenly teleports onto the command deck before they can leave! Thumbs up on the story. It was fun. I enjoyed the needles. It felt a lot more like the original series than Next Gen or later, and I liked that a lot.

This was funny

This was a fun little story. As a Trek fan since practically birth, I enjoyed this. And it's good to see that the Exeter is doing better since Captain Tracey was booted from the chair.

...this is the same Exeter we're talking about, right?

:duck: They called Spikey a Gorn
:twilightoops: What's that?
:pinkiegasp: It was a big lizard that fought Capt. Kirk on one of his "Where no man has gone before" Vacation hide away...
:moustache: I can use a vacation

That was tremendously amusing. Bravo!

"I'm called a Human, and I come from a planet far away from here." He pointed at the ruined dresses. "I need those crystals on that clothing."

:facehoof: "Oh jeez. More humans. I really gotta talk to Sunset about this..."

Y’know, given that they were ripping up Rarity’s dresses in her home, I’m honestly surprised any of them survived. Rarity goes from 0 to 100 real quick.


Absolutely awesome! I want to see a sequel where Twilight suddenly teleports onto the command deck before they can leave!

As do I :heart:

The way I figure it, from the show, it would have taken them time to prepare and align the crystals for use. That makes plenty of time for Twilight to reverse trace the teleporter, tract down the unusual celestial body around their planet, and figure out how to teleport there.

Plus, they mentioned a space ship, and even if Twilight doesn’t know how to find one in the sky, I bet Princess Luna could, and I bet Twilight could get word to her right quick if she wanted to.

There are a half dozen angles that could logically be played out to get her onto that ship. And it would be fun to see where it goes, and fun to see how the Ensign handles a cute unicorn popping on board.

I really enjoyed this story. Both sets of characters stayed true to form, and the writing kept things bouncing along.

From the way this story was written, I'm guessing this is TOS-era Trek, and this is pre-Twilight's-ascension Pony. An excellent pairing, indeed.

If you have any other ideas about Trek-Pony crossovers, I'd be very interested in reading them.

Thank you for that! As for a sequel, that is actually a great idea, for Twilight or possibly Luna teleporting aboard before they leave orbit.

In any case, thanks for reading!

I appreciate that! I agonized over the humor, not sure if it would pay off. I'm glad it did for you!

Ummm...sure! Let's go with that!

Actually, I'd forgotten there was already a ship with that name, and I must confess I simply made up the name and characters. Nice to see a hardcore TOS fan reading my work!

You're welcome! Thanks for reading!

Lyra might be interested as well...

I didn't want Rarity to be too violent, although she was certainly justified.

Thanks for reading!

You have no idea how much I appreciate that! I worked hard on this tale, it's immensely gratifying for it to be enjoyed!

And oh yes: I did base this on TOS and pre-alicorn Twilight. They both just seemed to fit somehow.

I just might write some more on this vein, and I'll be sure to let you know.


Wait, no redshirts died? What sort of away mission is this?!

I’ll be honest, I’m legit considering writing a new ending for FoME’s thingy where Rarity just kills everyone. :derpytongue2:
I’ll run it by you if I do decide to. :heart:

That picture reminds me of this tale:

[Adult story embed hidden]

...which still gives me chills.

I'd love to read your story, though.

I see what you did there.

Well played.

Super cool story! I really enjoyed the part where Rarity attacked the poor away team in their rear ends. LOL :rainbowlaugh:


I don't usually like crossovers, but this one was inspirational. Nice :raritywink:

"How could they have created their own star and Moon, but do not possess warp-capability?"

"Unknown, sir."

The Captain steepled his fingers and said, "It looks like the Prime Directive is in force here,

Exhibit A why the PD needs reworked. Warp capability is kind of a lousy benchmark for determining the ability to initiate first contact. For starters there have been advanced civilizations shown in ST who have developed other forms of FTL, and others who have warp capability but for whatever reason don't actively use it.

Also, I'm pretty sure stealing the crystals from natives as opposed to digging up their own violates the PD.

Glad you enjoyed it! Though I have to ask, how did you find it inspiring?

lol...that was fun to write! Thanks for reading!

It seems to me, especially in The Original Series, the Prime Directive was interpreted by the individual captain. One's interpretation might violate another's so they were basically off on their own. Early captains were much more seen as mavericks, with Kirk being a good (bad?) example.

I tried to give Artis similar traits, but as you saw he did apologize for his assumption. Whether or not he would have apologized had the raid been successful is up for debate. And as for their decision to steal from the natives, I tried to make it clear Rarity had the only source of crystals on the planet. Even if she didn't, time was of the essence as they (The Exeter) needed to get underway as quickly as possible. I'm still considering a sequel, which will briefly cover the battle they were in and their need to get to safety.

You're very welcome. :twilightsmile:

Eh, I can admit most of my ire for the PD comes from TNG up(or down as in the case of a certain Enterprise episode), where it is frequently used as an excuse to do nothing while people die, even in cases where they were perfectly capable of saving them, and especially in cases where they could do so without them being aware of it.



Let's say that for a while now, I'm toying with the idea of writing my own Star Trek (Voyager) Crossover, and it gave me a few ideas. Plus, that thing felt like something that could actually happen in an ST episode, which is not always the case with crossovers.

Well said! I wish you success in your writing. There aren't enough good Star Trek stories on this site.

We need MOAR!

I'll just say, I'm intrigued by the ST crossover idea...

But I do tend to think the typical ST crew would be... ahem... distraught to learn just what the hell Equestrian magic is capable of. It'd at least be hilarious to read.

Again, this is very well done. But too short. I concur with the others when I say I'd like to see more.


Wait, no redshirts died? What sort of away mission is this?!

Well, Kirk wasn't in command, so they had that going for them... :trollestia:

Came here from Estee's review, and wanted to comment because the concept felt familiar.

And after some research, I know why...

Does Chapter 7 of "Where No Pony Has Gone Before", ring any bells?

Then again... Dilithium as Equestrian Crystals might be a common concept that's floating about. I dunno. I should read this at some point. Perhaps tomorrow...

Has that been done before? I didn't know, as I've never read that story you mentioned.

In any case, thanks for reading both the Review and this story. It means a lot to me!

Heh, I just came here from Estee's "pointless crossover" blog.

First, I'm surprised that any federation captain would go to robbing/stealing like that, especially destroying artwork. I think we've seen captains facing the issue of having to either go native or let their ship die in space, although usually in a time travel episode :-).

Second, I was expecting Twilight on the bridge before the end of the chapter. Instead of ending with a "sore rear" reference, a "Well, there goes the prime directive" ending.

Third, there's no "next" button nor sequel link.

Author Interviewer

This was really fun. :D I need more short TNG crossovers in my life.

I don't quite understand the last few lines, about Karlson.
Like, it's lacking a bit more detailing there... He can't sit, because ? Of earlier, when he got ''stabbed'' in the butt ? He got secretly replaced by a pony/changeling ? He's on a new 'standing only' diet ?

I see this ship is from the Cerritos brand of doing whatever they want instead of taking the time to find some dilithium on the planet that wasn't, ya know, in the home of a native of a pre-warp society as an accessory for their dress.

They joined the academy to go on different planets and do criminal activity? Stealing someone's else property is a criminal offense on the most civilized planets.

Thief in the dark night
Got no gold—got more than fright
Sore—stood to panel:trollestia:

a grate and fun little story.

This was a delightful story !

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