Ocellus isn't feeling so great. After she and her friends harnessed the magic of Harmony to save the world yet again, she’s still got essays and final exams and graduation prep to do. And now she’s being betrayed by her own body. Changelings are masters of disguise, but Ocellus knows you can’t always hide from your problems. Sometimes they require hard work. And a little help from her friends.
Rated Teen for references to sex. Also includes some fairly graphic descriptions of the poor bug getting sick.
An Honorable Mention in the The Discovery - A Young Six Writing Contest!
Chapters (1)
The question of "Who's the father" gets really strange with the Changelings.
Here’s my one criticism for this story:
You don’t need to describe the “flavor” of every single emotion Ocellus comes across. It just doesn’t add enough to the story to make it necessary and it’s not something we need to know.
Now I need more.
Honestly?? I really wanna know what happens now.
This reminded me of another story on this site, Ocellate. This, however, was certainly a bit lighter in tone.
The paternity test is gonna be tough...especially given three of the donors aren't male.
Good luck in the contest! I'll be rooting for you.
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I kinda agree here. At least not every time should an emotion be described. Maybe each character having their own blend, maybe how it changes but not all the time. It feels a bit much. Still this is a good entry.
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I respectfully disagree. I personally felt that it added to the story in that it allows us, as readers, to understand how Ocellus is thinking and feeling.
One hell of a premise you got here! I hope you do more with it, I'd say it'd be almost a shame if you just left it at that.
That is definitely the appropriate reaction to such news.
Oh, that's going to be a fun conversation.
"Hey, mom, dad! I'm going to be one of the dads for a whole new hive of changelings!"
"...wait...run that by us again, son?"
On one side, it seems really weird, and even more weird for me to say what I'm about to...but on the other I somehow actually really like the idea of all the Young Six, uh...begetting (sorry, the English language really isn't well prepared for the proper terminology for this
) their own little hive of changeling children. So...I'll just accept the weirdness and run with it to wherever it takes me. 
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I respectively disagree. I felt it really added to the immersion of Ocellus's POV for the story. Other fics typically make mention of changelings sensing emotions only occasionally, usually when the emotion sensed is key to the present scene of the story, but in reality, such sensing is undoubtedly quite constant, and it reminds the reader that this would literally be how changelings perceive the world--not so much by physical sight but by the wild range of emotions around them. So I applaud the author for capturing how a changeling would view the world around them in a way the rest of us non-changelings can understand.
It actually makes me think I slacked off on doing the same last time I tried writing for changelings. Hmm...note for the future...
Besides, it was really only super constant at the start of the story, when everything was still being introduced. Though it never truly stops, it comes up slightly less and less quite notably the further the story goes on, so it's not like every other sentence throughout the whole story was mentioning the taste of whatever emotion.
Well... that was unexpected. Now I wonder what will happen when trying to explain this. Not just to those at the school of friendship, but others like Dragon Lord Ember and Prince Rutherford.
Upon considering it further, I too want to express interest in some sort of follow-up to this fic at some point in the future. There's definitely more that could be told with this idea. A whole AU, really, if we want to go that far.
This is sweet, adorable, and intriguing. I humbly request a continuation or sequel.
Ah, Changeling teenage pregnancy. Complicated!
When it came to what was wrong with Ocellus, it looks like almost everyone was laboring under a misconception. I'll see myself out.
I wish it didn't end there but... this was ok.
I love this take on Ocellus, especially your description of her Changeling senses. An easy favourite!
This is great! I, too, would love to read a follow-up
Even when it's a student 6 polyship...you still sneak in Gallbar stuff. I see what you're doing Parker
You had me thinking Smolder was the main love donor though, with the description of what Ocellus was puking up when she met Sandbar. The colour stayed throughout, so I got the impression it was more of the same. Something to do a little edit of, perhaps?
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That was a fascinating read, thank you for bringing it up!
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No problem. Dark stuff, eh?
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One has to imagine the Tree of Harmony is somewhere in there, also.
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Who wants to draw the Punnett square?
What is a "hengstwolf?" I tried Google, and all it gave me was an old guy named Wolf Hengst.
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Seems to be german for “Stallion”. So essentially a werepony.
Definutely the fluffiest teen pregnancy I've ever seen. Lovely tale of affection and bizarre alien biology, though I feel you went a little overboard with all of the different emotional flavors. Still, it is a key part of the changeling experience.
Lovely stuff... though I don't want to be the one to tell Ocellus she should construct the brooding cells somewhere other than the school.
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A werepony would be a human that turns into a pony. The 'were' in 'werewolf' comes from 'wer' which is Old English for 'man'. Thus, 'werewolf' mean 'man wolf', and 'werepony' would mean 'man pony'.
Hengst also seems to be Old English, according to this: https://www.directdutch.com/2014/02/word-of-the-day-hengst-stallion/
Also, some pretty interesting history.
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Fair enough actually.
the gallbar undercurrents can get fucked
but the rest is great
8.5/10
Love Ocellus is/becomes a changeling queen stories.
I don't know why, but stories where Ocellus turns out to be a changeling queen just make sense. It feels like it's right. The story could be poorly written with a less-than half-baked plot and horrible grammar/formatting and it would still feel right. But considering that FiM has ended with no real knowledge of what happened with the Young 6, other than Gallus, so having Ocellus as a queen just fits and is possibly just my mind trying to grasp onto anything that indicates that the series is "still alive" even though the community is as active as ever and will probably rival the TF2 fanbase in terms of longevity and survival.
When I saw this, I was worried it was going to turn into a weight gain/loss/bulimia sort of thing.
I am so, SO glad it was way more than that.
Been debating back and forth on reading this story, not sure what I was getting into. But I'm sooooooooooo glad I clicked on this piece, like I really am. I have to say despite what some people say about describing the flavor of every emotion? It works wonders, Smolder's being the most fun descriptions.
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I had fun writing this, and it's been well-received enough that a sequel will inevitably happen.
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A surprisingly cute story, and I'm glad it was based on non-sexual love, or this would have had a bit of a different feel. As is, I love that its based on love between friends, and how supportive they are.
I admit the tastes did get a bit distracting, but still a very enjoyable fic.
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You’re free to disagree but nothing you say will change my mind.
Honestly I have nothing against the concept itself, though at the same time I don’t think Changelings can actually “taste” emotions or sense them in the way many people have portrayed, but in this case the author was going overboard with it.
10064970
Fair enough.
This is a delectable story. Gallus and Ocellus are my fave members of the Student six. It's nice to see Bookbug in this interesting adventure.
Ewwwwwwwww
But also, d'awwwwww.
I loved the tasty emotion descriptions. It was fun imagining the tastes myself as I went along. Stories that describe things in unusual ways are always my favourites, and this one reminded me a lot of one of my favourite Homestuck characters.
(Yes, I'm a dirty Homestucker. Don't @ me)
One of these days I'll actually get around to watching the rest of mlp and meeting these guys...
While I sort of agree with Starlight Glimmer1 up there about not needing to describe every taste (I especially found some of them strange since I read this after I just ate a pot pie and dessert), I agree more with the general consensus that pointing them out I think enhanced the story as it was being told from Ocellus's perspective. It's something I honestly wouldn't mind see gaining some ground in the fandom (much like how 'wing boners' I'm sure started as a joke, but became something accepted among fans), and I wouldn't mind helping in that respect (if you don't mind that is).
I gotta admit, I was hesitant to give this a read at first since I wasn't keen on reading 'changling feeling under the weather' type of story, but I was pleasantly surprised it wasn't just that. This was a really cool read.
Ok I'm sure people are thinking it but when's the sequel coming out about them telling there parent's/a certain buzzird that needs a hammer in a golf swing arc someplace painful (yup still mad at him for what he said about gallus) and how they go about constructing a hive and then educating ponies on changeling anatomy and all that
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I have to strongly agree with Starlight Glimmer1 here. I honestly don't get the support behind the idea that changelings can taste every kind of emotions. After all, we have been shown in the show itself on many occasions that changelings couldn't detect lies and underlying emotions (such as in the episodes "Triple Threat", "The Heart's Warming Club" or s8 finale).
Furthermore, the author did go overboard with describing the taste while didn't really add any value to the story in doing so. Using food analogy to describe the tastes of the emotions must serve a purpose, for example to elaborate on Ocellus's preference to certain emotions, how she reacted (like/dislike) when she detected different emotions, how the changing taste or the overwhelming collision of many tastes at once affected her mood, or something of the like. As it is, the taste descriptions are just thrown in there for no purpose, leaving no impression on the readers and instead even making it distracting from the story flow.
10151972
Fair enough. It doesn't work for everybody.
10151972
Thank you.
That was sweet.
Parker! I have a secret just for you. Your story placed fourth.
This is probably the most ambitious, risky story of them all, and I really want to congratulate you on that. And that’s not backhanded: Aragon’s “viscerally cute” compliment was something all judges felt, one way or another. This made us physically ill, and we loved it.
But you asked for a review, so let’s do it.
First, pacing: It’s quite fast. But that’s not a bad thing, here. It’s something that threw me the first time around, but pacing is funny; as you know, not every story should go the same speed, and the art of pacing is more about balancing the slow and fast parts rather than “this story is too fast” or “too slow”. Cutting up your story into short scenes with big jumps in Ocellus’s condition between them worked really well for me. It’s a story about someone’s body falling apart for unknown reasons; there’s no use dwelling on it, and not giving the reader a chance to rest fits the mood. Great stuff.
The only place I think it does you harm is the ending. There’s a LOT introduced there. “Turns out we’re all changeling daddies” is a ballsy conclusion, but I think it’s missing a little more time to process what we’ve just learned. Especially for Ocellus’s friends. They take it in stride bizarrely well. It fits the general show theme, of being supportive of your friends, but this sounds like a hell of a commitment.
Also, side note: What was Thorax’s beef? That threw me a little, because it’s very primal of him, when I usually see him as a more pragmatic guy. And I could be wrong, but it kind of felt like you were trying to make the ending more climactic by having a fight scene? But the tension in this story lies in Ocellus’s condition, not from outside threats, so I would have liked to see the tension ramp up by more worsening of her sickness--nausea, headaches, fever dreams. All that fun stuff.
Secondly, Ocellus felt a little detached from her issue at times. It’s definitely on her mind (and in her mouth), but she doesn’t really seem to do anything to address it, apart from trying to sweat it out like a flu. But it’s very clear to the reader that it’s some sort of changeling illness that changelings get and maybe you should talk to a changeling about it this is getting drastic, girl. And even if she tries to carry on with her life, you would expect one of her friends to raise their race-specific appendage and say, “Maybe we should ask Thorax about this?”
Lastly, I wanted to talk about those tastes. They’re rad. It’s a neat headcanon, and it makes me wonder if other changelings would experience the same smell from the same emotion, or if it’s like a sort of qualia. But I do see some controversy surrounding it, so I wanted to bring it up. Me, personally? I thought it could have used some more restraint, and I wasn't the only judge who felt that way. Since the tastes don’t actually factor into the plot (if you took them out, the events wouldn’t change), they’re not a linchpin in your story, but story polish. And there ain't nothing wrong with a little polish. But here, it shows up a lot for just being polish.
But hey, at least one of our judges loved how much of the taste was there. So the mileage is gonna vary. I just wanted to comment on it.
And at the end of the day, your story ranked so high for a reason. Several reasons actually: the great character interactions, the snappy dialogue, the fact that you got all six of them in there without making it feel overstuffed (I adored the Silverstream scene), and the sheer creativity of it all. It was a great story to read, and I was thrilled to have it as part of the contest.
So thanks for submitting! I hope to read more of you in the future.
P.S. What does “burnt ozone” smell like? I’ve never heard of it, and after asking around, I’ve heard it smells like, A) baked bread, B) a hot plate that’s been left on too long, and C), the smell of fresh rain. What is this smell? Is it like the swiss army knife of literary smells? It’s just whatever you want it to smell like? I’M LOSING SLEEP OVER THIS HELP.
Well for me this story had two distinct parts. Or at least my emotions connected to it dissected it into two distinct parts.
The first was the classic fanfic writer falling in love with his own idea. Which is not neccearily bad they can have great ideas and who are going to love your ideas if not you? But in reality it almost always ends up badly. And so did in your case. This story was so overindulgent on itself as Ocellus was on love. You wrote down every single taste of every single emotion*, you just had to add at least two aggressively (almost stereotypically) XY-like line or action to every single appearance of every single character. (For example Yona had like one paragraph and she had to say two Yaks are best line.) They are really not necessary. It almost made me physically ill as if I ate too much of something. (which is really fitting, but still not a great thing. But it may have been effected by the fact that I'm currently experiencing some slight queasiness because I ate a bit too much)
Also I didn't feel like the story had a sense of direction. Things were just happening without any goal on the horizon, now that is partly my fault because I didn't read the title, but still I think a good a bit of that feeling would have remained even if I had. Maybe not. (Disclosure, direction doesn't mean I know what is going to happen, but rather that I'm sure something is going to happen)
I also disliked the way you handled the character of Ocellus. She just didn't care about her illness. Didn't try to find out what's going on didn't go to a doctor, nothing. She just went on with her life. I think this added the sense of lack of direction. If she doesn't care about her condition why should I?
I mean she was more preoccupied with her weight than her illness. Also your explanation as to why a shapeshifter would care about her weight was paper thin.
This all changed when Thorax and Pharynx showed up.** I finally realised where the whole thing was going (which of course solved the whole no direction problem) and your explanation about changeling reproduction was remarkably funny. I love it. I'm not a huge fan of this hippy commune thing that they seemed to set up all of a sudden as if they had nothing better to do, but as part of the last joke it was more than satisfactory. So good job I can't say I enjoyed the whole fic from top to bottom, but all in all it will be a pleasant memory.
*Obligatory salty chemist interval: Helium. Phisically. Can't. Have. A. Taste. Obligatory salty chemist interval over.
**Although I had to read that part like three times till I figured out what the fuck was going on when Pharanx went full ham. So not a great job at that part.
I absolutely adore your style and how well it went with your choice to show every emotion. The unique flavors and sensory details gave a unique impact on the story. However, this was nowhere near as fluffy or teen drama romance-y as I was hoping it would be, especially based on what some of the comments were saying. I'm aware that it absolutely wasn't your intention, and I'm not doing to downvote your story (please don't think that this is a downvote comment; I'm just not voting on it) but the story came across as incredibly horrific and rape-y with the thought of a teenager unknowingly getting pregnant multiple times over in ways she is powerless to stop while pleading for such changes not to be made.(not to mention, her friends unknowingly fertilizing her brood) It made for a very uncomfortable read, and one I don't want to revisit.
I did like the discussion about your changeling headcanons for different kinds of love having different kinds of love still works - as well as their capacity for funky gender roles.