Lovers of a Feather

Moonlit_Stardust

Moonlit_Stardust #1 · Jan 30th, 2020 · · ·

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I honestly wouldn’t mind seeing a follow up to this I think the form of a trip back to ponyville!

JLtheking

JLtheking #2 · Jan 30th, 2020 · · ·

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D’awww I love this. I need more of this ship!!!

Mystic Sunrise

Mystic Sunrise #3 · Jan 30th, 2020 · · 15 ·

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So why do people ship Gallus with anyone? Besides the usual excuse of "Because we can." I never saw him like anyone like that. Let alone Twilight.

Which makes even less sense than his usual pairings with one of the Knockoff Mane 6, as I call that group of his.

DaylightHobbyist

DaylightHobbyist #4 · Jan 30th, 2020 · 7 · ·

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10059376
Why does anyone ship anyone with anyone?

You can like the chemistry two characters have or you could simply enjoy the thought of them tackling a romantic relationship.

It's all really just for fun in the end.

Mystic Sunrise

Mystic Sunrise #5 · Jan 30th, 2020 · 1 · 4 ·

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10059450
That sounds like because we can. Just trying to sound smarter. Maybe if it was Yona that Gallus was crushing on, I'd get it.

But him and Sandbar makes less than 0% sense. Even before Sandbar went with Yona. Feels like forcing two guys together just because they are guys and for no other reason.

No I'm not sorry to say all that. And more if I wanted too.

Loveless

Loveless #6 · Jan 31st, 2020 · · 1 ·

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10060429

Because we want, darling. There is no wrong way to fantasize. Human is a creature full with imagination after all and we always like "what if" wo much. So no matter how small it is of two creature have a connection to each other. Be it a direct contact or just them similar to one another even if they never interact with one another before. Shipping will always find the way to make it work.

Kodiologist

Kodiologist #7 · Feb 4th, 2020 · · ·

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Given, Gallus' chicks had a specific parent in mind

Who? Sandbar and Gallus are still both male, right?

"Was it selfish of me?" Twilight whispered.

I wouldn't call it "selfishness" so much as "generational transmission of sexually exploitative royal patronage", but I guess that's a mouthful.

A chapter of my story "Those Four Guys" works as a humorous opposite of Twilight trying to win over Gallus by feeding him chicken: a male griffon is on a promising date with a mare, but grosses her out by eating chicken.

Bachiavellian

Bachiavellian #8 · Mar 31st, 2020 · 1 · ·

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Hey there! Thank you so much for entering The Discovery contest and for requesting a review! I’m Bachi, and I was the judge assigned to your story.

I’m always down to read about odd pairings, romantic or otherwise. So just the mere act of putting Gallus and Twilight together as main characters in the same story made me sit up and pay attention. Having them date basically blew my mind. I love it when unlikely characters bounce off of each other, so kudos for that.

But there are a couple of things that did end up distracting me a bit from the emotions of this story. The most important of these is probably the matter of Gallus’s agency. Gallus is extremely reactive for most of this story, and it doesn’t feel like he gets the chance to really make a lot of decisions for himself. Twilight is the one who invites Gallus to Canterlot, gets him signed up with the Guard, promotes him, instructs him to visit her, and romantically pursues him. It kind of felt like she was really the one making all of the major decisions in Gallus’s life, which feels funny because he’s our main/perspective character. Especially in shipping stories, it’s really important to make it feel that both characters have good reasons to fall in love with the other, so I really wished we had more time looking at Gallus’s end of things.

Another thing that I want to mention is that I do appreciate your decision to show us concrete little moments in time during the development of the relationship between Gallus and Twilight. Showing individual moments is definitely much more emotionally evocative than summarizing the process of building up a long-term relationship.

However, it might be worth giving a little extra attention to your prose whenever it switches from describing long periods of time where not much happens and transitions to individual moment-to-moment scenes of dialogue. Whenever this transition happens, you often only have one short sentence that signals the change to the reader, which can feel a little disorienting. Making this kind of narrative transition is definitely one of the more difficult things to do in writing. I personally try to avoid it whenever I can, but if the story really needs it, it’s a good idea to be aware of how odd it can feel to your reader.

Thank you again for submitting to the contest! Please feel free to reply or PM me if you have any questions. I really hope you found this review helpful!

-B.

redsopine

redsopine #9 · Apr 21st, 2020 · · ·

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10059376
complex character paird with less complex trying to figure him out i think i mean orphan grew up on the streets bullied (most likely) and proboly has sever abandoment issues makes for a challenge to pair with anyone so people put him with thoese closest to him who know him but twilight was a new one plus its seems to be fan canon hes gay for sandbar

redsopine