This story is a sequel to Winter's Child
Twilight is pregnant. She has told her her friends, her brother, Cadance, and Celestia. All that's left is to tell her parents. (And reveal who the father is.)
After seven years of waiting: The unofficial ending to Winter's Child. Prior reading is strongly recommended!
"A sequel to (arguably) the best incest fan fiction in this fandom, penned by the unquestionably-best incest author in this fandom.
Taking an unfinished work and giving it an ending that is funny, heartfelt, suspenseful, and cathartic is just a f*cking feat. Glued to the screen, on a rollercoaster of emotion, it is every bit a story that will keep you entertained all the way through."
Chapters (1)
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"N-no Mom," Shining Armor stuttered out. "I’m always impressive when it comes to swallowing, right Twily?" *elbows Twilight*
(I'll write a more detailed review later, but for now: OMFG THIS IS SO GOOD!)
Huge pat on the back for you for finishing this story! Though I couldn't help but feel like everyone just accepted Twilight and Shining little too easily. That was one of my gripes with the main story too. I would have loved to see some drama with Cadance when she found out.
But other than that, I really appreciate that you finished this story! :)
10858449
You know I do love me some drama.
But I tried my best to keep the tone of the story consistent to Softy's.
As far as Cadance's attitude toward things is concerned,
Winter's Child is a sorta-sequel to his previous story, Complicated Relations, where any would-be drama would have occurred.
And that story, in turn was a sort-sequel to Like Two Peas in a Pod, by Flutterwhy4.
So that is the extent of this three-author AU of Twi-Shine.
This is the essence of "Fine I'll do it myself" and I love it
thank you for this chapter/story it was nice read and how i see it end,
so though the they folks would be make bets on stuff happening
A beautiful ending to this man, nicely done!
Feels like you captured the ending and tone pretty well, with your own special dash of Shakespearicles on top.
Good show.
10858527
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Goodness, all the bad puns.
I'm afraid I will not. It's over 70k words and I simply refuse to read anything that long anymore, especially if it's got the sads. But as you've requested my prereading services personally, I'm only happy to oblige.
Missing period.
I don't often see Cadance using such sophisticated English but I'll take it as granted that it's how she normally speaks in Winter's Child.
That's a good onomatopoeia. I'll have to remember that one.
DId Cloppy add that line in? You get at least 1-2 uses of metronome per clopfic with him.
Change comma to question mark.
Add a comma after 'well'.
Comma after 'Oh'.
Comma after 'Twilight'.
Missing gap.
Yeah, about that...
Missing comma after 'well'.
Two instances of 'Shining nearly choked' visible on the same page is the most significant writing sin I've come across so far. I'd change the second instance to something else to avoid repetition. You should also add a hyphen to 'queen size'.
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Only the dead will know peace from Shakespearacles's double-entendre.
Are you sure this isn't a comedy? I'm laughing my ass off over here!
This is weirdly kind of a letdown. I thought they were going to have to deal with heavy tension but all of that's been dissipated quick and cheap by more humor. I think as a comedy, this is a great move but you've written drama.
Hilarious! And also missing a comma after 'Maybe'.
Then why flip the table?
Comma after 'Well'.
Comma after well again.
Ahh, so the reason he flipped the table over despite knowing that Twilight and Shining were having sex, that they had sex coming over to see them, and that Twilight was pregnant wasn't to contrive a bit of comedy and misdirection, it was to test his fitness as a father.
Don't get mad! I'm a bastard, alright?
Somehow, I don't think that will work given you're royalty. Being a royal didn't do Prince Andrew any favors...
Followed after.
I like your version of Celestia; she feels more like the powerful demi-goddess she really is than how most people write her.
That 'well' comma eludes you once more.
Missing space.
Dyew it!
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Delete period.
You forgot to type 'this'.
Very intense marriage ceremony. There is a question in my mind as to the need of Princess Cadance to read off the right to marry laws given the lack of any hostility from the crowd. There was unanimous applause so it's not like there was a protest at the wedding or anything. I dunno, it came off a bit preachy.
Aside from that, each character really acted fucking solid in this. Seriously, all of your characters are great and especially Princess Celestia. She more than anyone stood out in this story, despite some of my earlier misgivings with this work. I pity the 25 adventurers who have to try to defeat her at the end of the Canterlot raid.
I won't call Spring's Foal my favorite work of yours. I found a bit of the one-love messaging heavy-handed and my thoughts on the table flipping have already been mentioned. But I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it and that's worth an upvote any day. I hope Softy takes this story as the complement to his work it was intended to be.
10858585
WELL, I knew you would be thorough when I asked you to pre-read, but damn!
Seriously though, thank you for your help! I really wanted this story to be the best it could be for Softy.
10858606
You're welcome. I should really finish mowing the lawn. Ta-ta!
Winter's Child has for a long time been on my shortlist of stories that I really wanted to see a continuation of, and it is satisfying to see a solidly written one done at long last. It does feel a bit rushed, in the sense that you are fitting in 6+ chapters of drama into just one, and everything gets wrapped up a bit too quickly and neatly compared to the original story, where things are pretty messy and complicated throughout. Still, I liked this.
10858622
You know what? You're right. I can't argue with that.
Believe me, nothing* would please me more than to see Softy's version.
* Except perhaps for a proper ending to Mis-Shapes.
10858628
And now you have to go and bring up the other unfinished incest drama-fest story that I've wanted to see concluded for years, which left off right as things were coming to a head. Where things are even messier and more complicated than with this one.
10858666
May I offer you my other unofficial story ending then?
Very nice. I was hoping for an ending of some kind to Winter's Child for years. Also, I found a little typo you may want to fix.
That should be "title".
10858675
Fixed! And thank you.
Well, I promised a more in-depth review, so here we fucking go! I hope you’re ready for some over analyzing. And apologies in advance if a lot of this has already been mentioned in other reviews. First and foremost, it’s Shakespearicles. It’s god tier in humor, characterization, and prose. I could go into exhausting detail about each and every joke and character trait, but I’ll try and stick to the most prominent ones. 1, Pinkie Pie. The party pony who reacts first and thinks later is handled deftly. It strikes an excellent contrast between her well meaning and her lack of social tact. Her silliness creates an aura of seeming immaturity and not caring, avoiding so much as mentioning explicit words for genitalia. But thank you god, Cadance actually sits her down and talks to her face to face in plain language. Telling her straight up what is going on, and no hiding behind miscommunications to extend a problem. 2, Celestia. The caring but stern mentor and teacher figure who clears Twilight’s thoughts with the simplest but most practical questions. And beyond that, she wants Twilight to see her on the personal level, not just professional. She’s excellently balanced here, neither too mellow or overly jaded and apathetic. A mix of traits that often seem to divide interpretations of her character. I also like the use of simple logic. What Twilight and Shining might have thought would hide their relationship actually creates easy ways to find out about it. Snoring leaves Velvet up at night to hear them playing around.
Another thing that is truly commendable about this story is how it essentially creates an ending in a vacuum. Winter’s Child stuck to a relatively simple formula throughout, just Twilight telling her social circle about her pregnancy and seeing their reactions. Her revelation to Pinkie Pie infamously cut off in the ball busting 7 year hiatus. In such circumstances, and lacking the ability to read Softy’s mind, it’s entirely up to interpretation what would happen and when. The original veered pretty strongly away from telling Twilight Velvet and Night Light at all, and there was never really any indication of exactly how or when the story itself would end. Also worth mentioning is the sheer potential of new stories that could be born of the idea, but more on that later. Taking an unfinished work and giving it an ending that is funny, heartfelt, suspenseful, and cathartic is just a fucking feat. Glued to the screen, on a rollercoaster of emotion, it is every bit a story that will keep you entertained all the way through. But of course, the circumstances of its creation can not be entirely escaped.
The greatest harm to this story’s perception is not the result of any of its own flaws, but the nature of its very existence. A sequel to arguably the best incest fan fiction in this fandom, and penned by the unquestionably best incest author in this fandom; it holds no court over the hype built up by its fanbase. Anything and everything about it is subject to such high standards, such a train of expectations built up over years of waiting and a monumental reputation, that its place in history is going to be so heavily placed upon its audience. While that is true of any work, it’s even more exasperated here. Speaking from personal experience, many of my minor complaints or even just notes (which I’ll get to later) are born mostly out of an extreme love for this series of works and respect for the authors. Honestly, much of what I will highlight will get a larger spotlight in this review not because they outweigh the good elements of the story, but because they simply stand out more against the masterwork that most of the story is, and indeed what we are used to from Shakespearicles.
For one, the pacing is noticeably different than the original. While Winter’s Child limited itself to one or two major character interactions and developments each chapter, this crams more like 4 into one chapter. It feels like Pinkie and the parents should have been one chapter, Celestia and the wedding another. Nothing that really hurts the story too bad, but it is noticeable. And along the lines of built up expectations, I know for one that there were certain things I was expecting to be… different. Years on the cliffhanger of how Pinkie’s misconception will screw things up, the original story not even touching the subject of parents with a twelve-foot-pole, and those plot lines get resolved in just a scene apiece here. Again, the scenes themselves are masterfully crafted and enjoyable, they just suffer from the expectations built up around them. Though that might technically work as a sort of metaphor, the audience’s imagination of the worst possible scenarios mimicking Twilight’s. So not too bad overall.
The other thing that may cause perception of this story to suffer, without being the fault of the story itself, is the addiction. Such a long-running and anticipated series of stories inevitably incites the hunger for more. Especially when themes such as societal change, child raising and development, and others are brought up. It makes you want to see how things play out beyond just this one little fic wrapped up with a bow. For example, I’m left wanting to see more about the relationship between Celestia and Luna and how it developed and was played down over the years. Maybe how Twilight, Shining, and Cadance actually adjust to being married now and how it affects their day to day lives. And most of all, it absolutely blue balls me with wanting to know how raising their daughter would actually go. None of these questions are obligations for the story to answer, but it will inevitably create the feeling of hunger in my gut whenever I reread it.
But by far the biggest thing that I can see as being a fault of the story itself is one that has already been brought up by AJAficionado, Crusader688, and others. It almost feels too easy. Wrapped up in a bow, no stakes, no challenges, just smooth sailing. This is a particular detriment to the story’s morals about love and strength in the face of adversity. “A man who must say ‘I am the king’, is no true king”. It’s all well and good to affirm that they’ll love each other in the face of anyone who doesn’t approve of their relationship, but these resolves are never tested. It’s a moral without any real practical usage in the story itself. There’s nothing wrong with a happy ending, but it does feel like there could have been more (as I’m sure you’re tired of hearing by now). Another big point that never gets brought up again is the morality of the relationship’s beginning. To espouse love between consenting adults seems to ignore that Twilight wasn’t an adult when the relationship began. Sure, to pursue legal action against Shining would just result in more harm than good, and they are in a perfectly healthy relationship now, but I still feel like this could at least have been acknowledged more.
Ultimately, this is a story I love. I can’t speak for any of the others who may have also been eagerly awaiting a continuation, but I am thoroughly satisfied by what we finally got. It will never be looked upon unanimously, and has so many expectations and possibilities baked into its environment that it might never be as beloved as the original, but it is still a fantastic story. I will begrudgingly admit that it seems like more of an A or S tier work than a SS, but that’s hardly an insult. And that’s my piece said. With that, I thank you lord on high, King of Wincest for gracing our humble existence with this divine fanfiction.
10858757
Thank you very much for your glowing praise and even-handed criticisms. I agree with all of it.
I dare say that I, more than anyone, wanted to see the original completed, by the original author.
In writing this, I had no illusions that even I could ever be able to live up to the immeasurable hype and expectations for an ending to such a beloved story. But I felt I had to try. Even if that might not be enough for some.
I don't presume to know the author's mind, but this growing, insurmountable expectation, I feel, may have been what stifled Softy, at least in part. But I had to try. And in doing so, to be true to the tone of the original story and its characters. To give a story I loved the ending it deserved. And yes, even I'm a little dissatisfied with anything other than the genuine article.
At its heart, this was meant to be an homage to a story I love that was written by an author I deeply respect. I feel very strongly that every story needs an ending. So this ending, such as it is, was as much for myself, as for anyone else who wanted some closure to Winter's Child.
In the end, I could only do my best. And for that, I will never apologize.
My mind's tellin' me no..
..but my body..
...my body's tellin' me yes!
"Incest? Heresy!"
*Blasts face off with shotgun.*
10858757
You have a real talent for reviewing things. You summed up my major issue with the story I was unable to articulate -- though admittedly, I'm not familiar with the source material so you have a better grounding on this story than I do.
I think it's the case of a man leaning on his strengths. Shakes is so good with characters and so goddamn funny, I think he lost sight of the world around his characters. Every problem became a nail to be hammered down with comedy and the conflict that would justify the very emotional and tightly-scripted marriage scene at the end didn't land properly. Still, we both agree the story itself was enjoyable to read from start to finish.
This is great. If its not too much trouble to ask... think you could do other incomplete stories?
"the muttered"
not a bad ending but shining just feels like an easy pick if you had gone with say human flash that would have thrown me for a loop or anyone like that still not bad and this is just my opinion
10859240
It's a sequel though. What sense does it make to change characters when you're writing a sequel?
10859201
Fixed!
That was a great ending to a story that I'd forgotten even reading.
Holy Twily sucking Shiny balls! This is the LAST thing I expected to see pop up in my feed this week!
Fucking kek.
Well, in my opinion this is a fantastic climax to the story we all wish was finished. It certainly seemed a bit more humorous than the majority of the original, but that doesn't mean it was out of place. The way Celestia dealt with the news was perfect I think, and the ending, oh lord the ending. I never would've imagined that Winter's Foal would've 'ended' with a different author or with Celestia marrying Luna and I fucking love it. It almost seems like a far fetched idea but if I think about it more I think that it would absolutely happen. Aside from each other (which they're already married to) Twilight is probably the most important pony in both of their lives, and if she isn't then it's probably Cadance who got in on the marriage anyways. And the bit where they've been married all along was icing on the cake, nothing beats some good Princest.
Anyways, I'm disappointed but also relieved that I hadn't read Winter's Foal until just now and I certainly can't imagine waiting 7 years for some sort of closure (let alone the fact that it was apparently only half way done). I honestly think this is a beautiful way to unofficially wrap it up. So thank you for making this.
It'll go on the bookshelf right after Winter's Foal.
10861852
Thank you very much.
As I've mentioned previously, I wrote this as closure not just for myself, but for everyone who has waited so long to see this story though.
It’s really good I like how you complete it with the winter child I’m just glad to finally finish it I’ve been want to finish that story for a long time so thank you
Just saw that part of my review ended up in the description. That's awesome, thanks.
10908231
Thank you.
It was a good review. It wasn't just a blanket of praise, (not that I don't enjoy that). But it was also evenhanded critique. It gives your praise more value, and I think it is much more useful for potential readers to see. I respect that.
Only thing left to do is to consummate their marriage.
Overheard during the reception…
[We need more than one AB emoji…]
Great ending to an awesome fic. The only thing that's missing is the reveal that Mayor Mare is Celestia's daughter.
I can’t help but picture Celestia talking with Ewan McGregor’s voice with that line.
I’m also a little surprised you didn’t include any references to the unfinished/unreleased chapter softie808 linked in their last blog post. I suppose it doesn’t really mesh with the happy ending vibe of this fic, but the fact that there isn’t even a vague allusion is a but surprising.
Either way, I still enjoyed coming back to this after revisiting Winter’s Child.
I wrote a way too long comment on the original fic back in 2015 and feel like this would deserve an in depth comment too, simply for reminding me of optimism at a time when so much so often seems bleak. Sadly I don't have the focus to say much at the moment besides thank you for finishing this, and giving people the wish fulfillment ending that I think they deserved after seven years of wait.
I'll just say I agree with the views and morality set forward in this fic, Celestia is goddess of base.
11310331
Praise be unto She!
Well shit. That wraps it up nicely.
The fake out with Night Light was fun.
Do wish we got a little more of Fluttershy. Her opinion s were never really explored in the original.