• Published 29th Feb 2020
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Life at the Legion of Doom - secury



The infamous villains are brought together to join their forces and bring Equestria to its knees. In theory at least.

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Chapter 1 - Recruitment

The natural sounds of the cave were shattered by a hissing sound.

The air began to whirl, then suddenly thickened and took the form of a dark cloud. A few short moments later the cloud dissipated swiftly, leaving behind a puzzled changeling queen. Chrysalis adjusted her eyes and began to scan her surroundings.

She could smell the slightly musty odor in the air, a sour scent of the stagnant water. The changeling slowly turned her head around and looked up. The cave was carved in the muddy brown rock. Lumps of moss sprouted from the ceiling and stalagmites. She lowered her gaze and saw that a large section of the ground was covered in pools of murky mud. At the same time, she could hear the gurgling sound of water pouring in the background.

In the center of the cave, she could see a stone pedestal. On it rested a head-sized orb emitting a bright orange-yellow light. She lifted a hoof to shield her gaze from the glare.

Chrysalis strode forward, down a sloping path from the upper landing of the cave. As she was descending the ramp, two figures standing a few steps from the pedestal caught her attention. A centaur and a small pegasus.

Chrysalis narrowed her eyes. "Lord Tirek?"

"... a changeling?" the centaur said thoughtfully.

"Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings!" Chrysalis added hastily, her twisted horn flickering with an emerald aura. "Or at least I will be, when I restore my rightful place."

The changeling stopped by the base of the ramp and jumped to the two creatures, slamming her hooves into the ground hard enough to make the filly fall back behind the centaur's legs.

"Now tell me! Why did you summon me!" Chrysalis demanded.

"Geez, somepony got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," the filly muttered, pressed against the centaur's leg for reassurance.

Tirek put his hands together and cracked his knuckles defensively.

He snorted, forming a small glowing ball of energy between his horns. "Like I need to take orders from someone who literally has to suck love from ponies just to be functional throughout the day."

Chrysalis stepped to the centaur, almost standing face to face. "Insult me one more time, and you are gonna be the one unfunctional throughout the day!"

"We will see about that, you--"

The pegasus suddenly wedged herself between the centaur and the changeling.

"Now, hold on, you two," she said. "Shouldn't we first figure out how we got here in the first place before fighting with each other?"

The changeling slowly tilted her head to one side. "And who are you supposed to be?"

The filly cleared her throat. "My name is Cozy Glow!" she exclaimed, pointing at the centaur. "I'm Mr. Tirek's best friend!"

Chrysalis stared at the filly. Then she looked at the centaur. "Is she for real?"

Tirek winced. "If by 'best friend'," he grumbled, the two words leaving a sour taste on his tongue, "she means an unfortunate and highly regrettable mistake haunting me for the rest of my life, then yes."

"Mr. Tirek!" Cozy Glow scowled, looking at the centaur reproachfully. "Don't be like that."

"It's true! And for the hundredth time, it's Lord Tirek!"

Cozy sighed. "Mr. Tirek is acting like a big meanie, but under all that hard skin is one big gold heart," she said.

Tirek rubbed his forehead. "Just by talking you really are stretching my nerves..." he moaned, “...with a rack.”

Chrysalis watched them bicker for a few long moments, the green light around her horn draining away. "I have no idea what you two simpletons are babbling about, but you better leave me out of it. Unless you want to end up like my love snack, that is."

The pegasus rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Why is everypony so tense today?" She fluttered her wings, jumped in the air and onto the pedestal, her legs dangling over the edge. A small stream of dust slowly poured to the ground as the filly shuffled into a sitting position.

"So, what now?" she prompted, shifting her gaze back and forth between the centaur and the changeling.

Tirek let out a sigh. "Well, the fruitcake here is not the sharpest knife in the drawer," he sneered, jerking his thumb at the filly, "but she has a point. We should figure out who freed us from Tartarus."

Chrysalis blinked. "Somepony freed you from Tartarus?” she asked with a hint of curiosity.

"Yes," Tirek confirmed.

"We thought it was you who freed us from Tartarus," Cozy said, nodding towards the changeling queen.

"Well, I didn't," Chrysalis proclaimed, cocking her head. "But it must be someone really powerful!"

There was a sudden burst of harsh laughter from above.

The changeling bared her fangs and arched up her back like an angry cat. Tirek again formed a ball of energy between his horns. Cozy hastily slid off the pedestal and hid behind the centaur's neck.

Above the villains' heads formed a whirlwind of dark fog, scattering dust and small bits of stones around. The stream of black smoke concentrated into a column, slowly taking the shape of a pony. It soon subsided, leaving a gray stallion standing on the upper landing of the cave.

The pony ran a hoof through his black mane and paced forward to get a better view from the platform, his armored hooves clacking on the stone floor.

"Wow," Cozy commented softly. "That was a pretty cool entrance."

"... King Sombra?" Chrysalis cocked her eyebrow.

King Sombra looked down upon the changeling, bared his fangs, then dissolved himself into a puff of black smoke and a moment later emerged before the rest of the villains.

"What are you doing here?" Chrysalis asked with a grin. "Did you return to exact revenge on your enemies?"

"Did you summon us in order to help you garner more power?" Tirek prompted.

"How do you make your mane float like that?" Cozy exclaimed, popping her head over Tirek’s shoulder.

Sombra stared at the filly. Then he looked at Tirek, then at Chrysalis and finally back to the filly. "What in the name of flaming pits of Tartarus is a filly doing in this company?" the gray stallion said at last.

"I'm Tirek's best--"

Tirek reached out behind his shoulder and firmly but gently gripped her lips with his fingers. "Please stop telling other villains that I’m your friend. I have a reputation to keep,” he whispered to the filly.

"Let's just say that she is with me," he announced to Sombra.

The filly's smile brightened up. "So you admit that you are my friend!"

Tirek huffed. "I don't admit anything," he countered. "Especially not that I'm your friend. It's just faster this way."

Chrysalis stomped her hooves with a loud thud, earning her an annoyed look from Tirek and Sombra and forcing the filly to again take cover behind the centaur's shoulder.

"Fascinating discussion." She grimaced. "Now shut up and shift focus on a changeling who really deserves it--namely me--and try to figure out who summoned us here?"

"I did," a deep voice came from the cave entrance.

A vaguely pony-shaped silhouette entered the cave and moved toward the villains with long, steady strides and clattering noise. As the creature, reminiscent of a ram, came closer, the orb’s light revealed large, twisted horns sticking out his head, blue fur, and a gold belt around his chest. The villains suspiciously observed him as he approached the stone pedestal.

"You may call me Grogar," the ram announced.

"Grogar?" Tirek and Chrysalis echoed in unison.

"I have heard of you," Sombra said.

"I thought you were a legend," Tirek murmured.

"I assure you that I am very real," Grogar said firmly. The rest of the villains moved toward the pedestal and crowded around him.

"Grofar?" Cozy frowned, jumping from Tirek’s shoulder on the pedestal. "That doesn't ring a bell."

"Grogar!" the ram bellowed, stomping his hooves hard enough to make the filly fall from the pedestal to the ground. "I have been away too long if my name no longer strikes fear in the heart of one so tiny."

Grogar gazed back to the other villains. "Perhaps a demonstration of power is in order," he said, materializing a small golden ball on his hoof.

The ball glowed with yellow light and swiftly landed in Tirek’s hands. The centaur regarded the gleaming orb closely for a moment before he shoved it into his mouth in an undignified way and chewed hastily. The centaur swallowed loudly and his whole body was wrapped in white light. A mere moment later the light vanished. Tirek’s body was now far more muscular and massive than before.

"Neat!" The centaur beamed, kissing one of his biceps. He stepped closer and leaned his hand against the stone surface of the pedestal. “Grogar is an ancient and extremely powerful being," he explained, looking at Cozy.

"The land that would be Equestria was merely a collection of farms and pastures until Grogar declared himself Emperor of Everything He Saw," Tirek continued, lifting his hands dramatically. "I heard tales about his tyranny when I was young."

"I have also heard of the First Emperor of Equestria," Sombra supplied grimly, eyeing Grogar. "The Father of Monsters."

Cozy scratched her head. "Golly, it must be pretty hard to fit all that stuff on your business cards," she mumbled.

Grogar raised his head menacingly. "I gave life to the foulest of creatures," he said, placing his hooves around the orb. "And allowed them to run wild. Taking what they want and burning the rest. My reign was the glorious fear-soaked epoch of darkness in Equestria.”

"Ha!" Chrysalis scoffed with a mocking sneer. "Until Gusty the Great rose up and banished you."

"Silence!" Grogar barked, losing his composure for a moment, his glare forcing Chrysalis to sink into a cowed silence.

"That fool thought that taking my bell would defeat me, but she only weakened me temporarily." Grogar turned away and began ascending the ramp. "I have spent millennia gathering power, biding my time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to seize control of Equestria," he declared. "I have seen each of your humiliating defeats at hooves of the six puny ponies!"

That statement made Chrysalis and Sombra snort.

"Do you know why Twilight Sparkle and her friends have always bested you?"

"Because they caught me off guard!" Sombra snapped.

"Because they cheat!" Chrysalis snarled grimly.

"Because they are annoyingly lucky," Tirek grumbled, folding his arm across his chest begrudgingly.

"It was the first day on the job, so... " Cozy Glow replied innocently, lifting her hooves in helpless appeal.

"It's because they work together," Grogar countered. "When one is weak, the other is strong, and thus unified they represent a formidable force." A big conspiratorial smile widened on his face. "But we shall use their own strategy to defeat them."

Chrysalis furrowed her brow. "What are you suggesting?" she said sharply, jerking a hoof in Grogar's direction.

"I suggest nothing," Grogar replied flatly, jumping on the pedestal. "I demand that you join me. Together Equestria will be ours!"

"Like that's gonna happen!" Sombra spat.

Everybody stared at him.

"Not to rain on your parade, Grogar," he mocked, "but just because we all have a grudge against Twilight Sparkle and her friends doesn't exactly make us one big happy family. This alliance will fall apart faster than a rotten timberwolf."

"Do you have doubts about my plan?" Grogar growled.

"You bet I have!" Sombra grinned widely. "I don't do 'ours'. I only do mine!"

Sombra vanished in a puff of black smoke and reappeared right before Grogar's face.

"I will take back the Crystal Empire on my own," he announced, placing a hoof on his chest. "And I will crush anypony who gets in my way!"

Grogar regarded Sombra closely. "Such confidence," he pointed out. "Go! I will send you there myself. If you prevail, you may keep the Crystal Empire, but when you fail, you will submit to me!"

"And if I refuse this deal?"

"Then I will return you back into the darkness from which you were summoned."

"Fine," Sombra retorted, "but this is a waste of time as I will defeat--" He suddenly disappeared in a yellow flash.

"As for the rest of you," Grogar glanced over the trio, leaving the room. "I suggest that you learn how to work together."

“Hmm,” Tirek began, “that escalated quickly. That Sombra guy is alive like five minutes and he is already trying to take over the world.”

Cozy Glow suddenly flapped her wings and dropped herself on Tirek's shoulder.

"Teamwork sounds awfully familiar to making friends," she said, stretching out her hooves in excitement. "So you two are in luck because I know all about that!" She frowned a little bit. "Maybe I could use that as a theme for my master thesis. Something like Applied Friendship for Practical Villainy. That doesn't sound so bad."

Chrysalis scowled at her. Then she looked at Tirek. "I suppose that thing doesn't have a switch off?"

"I wish." Tirek sighed and flicked the filly from his shoulder.


“This doesn't look really good for the home team,” Sombra smirked. “Surrender now and I will let you keep one personal slave of your choice.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” Twilight declared firmly from the other side of the throne room. The rest of the main six stood behind her.

Sombra shrugged. “Well, I tried to be reasonable,” he said flatly, standing up from the throne and moving slowly toward the alicorn. “I am gonna enjoy this," he hissed.

“You may knock us down, but we will get back up again,” Twilight declared, her wings spread out and her eyes gleaming with determination.

Sombra's horn flickered and threw a bolt of dark magic at the alicorn. The princess hastily formed a layer of magical energy before her, squeezing her eyes in concentration. His bolt exploded in black sparks against the shield, destroying it. The impact pushed the alicorn back and toppled her on the floor. Twilight struggled to her hooves, her magic reinforcing her shield.

“Wanna try again?” Sombra dropped his head backward and laughed. “It’s gonna take a little more than fancy speech to save the day.”

Another spell landed on Twilight’s shield, shattering it to pieces like broken glass, pushing the alicorn back and to the floor.

“And again,” Twilight said firmly, standing up.

She and her friends steadily advanced toward the king.

“I wonder what would ponies think if they would see you as my personal lackey,” Sombra said mockingly. “I mean if I had not brainwashed them all.”

He pitched another burst of dark magic at the alicorn. Twilight’s jaw tightened, her horn flickering with violet aura. Right before the black haze hit her, she slid the tip of the horn along with the bolt, deflecting it into the wall.

“And again,” Twilight said, panting.

“Alright, this is getting a little annoying,” Sombra grunted. “Time to wrap things up.”

They both fired up their spells at the same, the magical beams colliding with each other in the midair. Sparks exploded in all directions, dropping on the carpet, leaving a few scorching spots. Sombra clenched his jaw, purple smoke pouring out of his eyes as he poured more energy into the attack. Twilight recoiled, frowning and gritting her teeth.

Sombra grinned, showing his fangs.

Twilight threw up her shield again. Sombra’s stream of black magic cracked as it abruptly bounced off its target. Sombra widened his eyes. The remaining Elements were gathered around Twilight, her shield now radiating with a pleasant bright pink glow.

“How the hell did you do that?” Sombra snapped, nervosity creeping into his voice. “I leveled that stupid tree to the ground and that blast should have hexed you into a splotch!”

“For our friends,” Fluttershy began.

“For our family,” Applejack and Rarity continued in unison.

“For our home,” Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash followed up.

“For Equestria!” Twilight finished.

“Crap.” Sombra gulped. “That ain't good.”

The Elements held their hooves together, hovering above the floor. They narrowed their gaze on the stallion.“You can’t destroy our magic, Sombra.” The pulsing aura surrounding the six ponies grew brighter, bathing the entire room in a flickering pink glow.

“No, wait! I surrender!” Sombra shouted with a panicked voice.

There were a few long moments of silence.

Glow in the room slowly drained away and all the Elements gently levitated down on the floor, looking at each other.

“... say what now?” Applejack said.

“I surrender!” Sombra yelped, sitting down on his haunches, and lifting his hooves up above his head. “We can talk things through!”

Rainbow Dash slammed a hoof into her forehead. “I can’t believe this guy! Now he is surrendering? He had plenty of chances to give up earlier. I say we kick his butt!”

“But we can’t hurt him when he surrenders, now can we?” Fluttershy prompted softly.

Twilight narrowed her eyes on the king. “Are you really surrendering?”

“Yes, yes!” Sombra proclaimed hastily, shaking a little bit. “I surrender, yield, give up, throw the towel in, whatever you want. Just don’t blast me with that thing.”

The alicorn let out a harsh breath before slowly trotting toward him. “This better not be some kind of trick, Sombra!”

The gray stallion chuckled nervously. “You don’t have to worry about that--”

In a flash, a burst of dark smoke whirled around Sombra.

“I knew that you couldn't be trusted!” Twilight shouted angrily, jumping a few paces back.

“This is not me!” Sombra protested. “I swear!”

The smoke swallowed him and dissolved into the air, leaving nothing behind.


Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow were watching the display in front of them with undisguised anticipation.

The orb showed the last moment of Sombra's encounter with the Elements and went dark.

"Well, that was unexpected," Tirek commented. "They really had spared him. For a minute I thought he was going to kick a bucket."

"Unexpected perhaps, but still pathetic." Chrysalis grimaced, sticking out her tongue. “I mean, one would expect some action after that gloating, but apparently he is just all bark and no bite.”

The dark cloud quickly emerged and disappeared, leaving Sombra sprawled on the floor.

The changeling queen stared at Sombra, her snout quirked in a malicious smile. “Not so cocky now, huh?”

Before Sombra could reply, a shadow loomed over him.

"I don't think that he is off the hook yet,” Cozy whispered to Tirek. “Is he going to be alright?"

"No idea, but better him than us."

The stallion raised his head and looked up at Grogar's scowl. For several long moments, the former tyrant wasn’t able to move a muscle, only breathing heavily.

“... you were saying something about teaming up?” Sombra said at last.

Grogar’s horns glimmered. A bolt of magic shattered on Sombra's neck with little black-yellow sparks flying in all directions. He fell to the ground like a sack of apples.

"You weren't supposed to conquer Canterlot," the ram growled. "Try to deceive me ever again, and I am gonna deal with you myself. And after I'm done with you, you will wish that the Elements destroyed you.”

Sombra quietly groaned in pain.

Grogar shifted his gaze to the other villains. "Let this humiliating defeat be a warning," he declared, gesturing at Sombra. "Warning for those who defy me and those who oppose continuing with my plans.”

The ram narrowed his eyes glittering with anger.

“Unless you have any doubts,” he said grimly.

The changeling queen gave a kind of yelp. "Nope!"

"Not I," Tirek said carefully, beads of sweat raised on his forehead.

"I'm good," Cozy Glow gasped, chewing on her lip nervously.

Sombra, still pressed to the floor, just nodded lightly.

"Then we shall join forces." Grogar raised his voice, his laughter sprawling across the cave. "And work together to bring Equestria to its knees!"