Chapter 2: And a Pound of Bacon Later
Chapter 2: And a Pound of Bacon Later
The night was ridiculously long. Hell, the day had been stupidly long, what with getting punched in the face and all the other stresses of working the ER shift.
I had told Michelle that we would take the watch in shifts to make everything easier on us, but I neglected to tell her that I had no intentions of waking her up. I had plenty of books downloaded to my iPad that I needed (and wanted) to read, and more than enough coffee in the house to run a small shop out of my garage.
The coffee was a welcome complement to the half-pound of bacon that I fried around four in the morning, about half-way through Fallout: Equestria.
My gun and phone were within my reach everywhere I went.
I contemplated cleaning some my dirtier guns, the ones that I took hunting or to the range more often than the others, but decided that if the girl was harmless, the pile of guns might frighten her unnecessarily. That would be the last thing that I needed.
The girl in question was tucked into the spare bedroom with the door wide open so that I could hear and see into the room with as little obstruction as possible. She had been sound asleep since we found her in the back yard, and hadn’t made a peep. She probably hadn’t moved since Michelle tucked her under the covers.
I began frying the rest of the bacon and a couple of eggs for breakfast when I heard Michelle stumble into the shower. The pot of coffee was on its third refill of the morning when I heard the shower water shut off, and I wondered if she would remember the whole ‘taking shifts thing’ that she had suggested.
She stomped into the kitchen and glared at me. She remembered.
With a guilty smile, poured her a cup of coffee, complete with ungodly amounts of cream and sugar, and set a plate of food in her place at the table. With a grunt, I set myself down next to her, my eye still on the hallway, and drained another cup of coffee.
“Long night,” I commented into my empty coffee mug.
“Hmmf,” she grunted through a mouthful of eggs. My fiance is definitely not a morning person by any means.
“Not a peep out of our guest either,” I continued, trying to decide if I wanted yet another cup or if I should risk trying to steal a piece of bacon off of her plate. I had already been assaulted once in the past twenty-four hours; I wasn’t about to risk more bodily harm. I went with the refill.
I paused at the microwave, staring at the clock. It was a little after nine in the morning. I hadn’t pulled an all-nighter since school, and I wasn’t looking forward to trying to repair my sleep schedule. I poured myself more coffee and grabbed a couple strips of bacon out of the frying pan with my fingers.
“You’re gonna burn yourself one of these days,” sighed Michelle from the table. I still haven’t figured out how she can see the stove from the table; there is a wall in the way.
“Nah,” I commented flippantly as I bit into the crunchy slice. “Too much skill to get burned.”
She couldn’t help but giggle. “Don’t come complaining to me once you’ve turned your fingers into bacon.”
I shrugged, shoved the last piece into my mouth, and stood, grabbing my iPad from the table. “Going to check in on her, see if I can’t get her to wake.”
Her brow furrowed, “You sure?”
I smiled and kissed her temple, saying “Not at all, but I’m not going to tiptoe around the house all day because some random chick decided to use my backyard for a nap.” Before she could respond, I grabbed my bag from where I had dropped it the moment I got home and dug a couple of instruments out. My grey stethoscope, blood pressure cuff, pen light, and note pad were all in the main pouch; my thermometer would be in the bathroom. The hospital provided those for the nurses and nurse aides to use.
I took a deep breath, walked over to the spare room, and stood in the doorway for a few seconds. It wasn’t the biggest room, but it was more than enough for a guest room. Plenty of space for a queen-sized bed, a small dresser, and a closet, including ample walking space to access everything. Light poured from the window at the head of the bed, pooling over the covers and giving everything a warm glow.
The young woman was still laying on her back, her arm thrown over her face and her purple hair pulled over one shoulder, I could see that the pink and lighter purple streaks actually ran the entire length. I won’t be the only one to tell you this, but she was incredibly cute, not exactly in the sexual sense of the word, but more so that she was pleasant to look at and behold.
I knocked as I entered the room hoping to rouse her at least a little bit. She grumbled something incoherent and rolled away from the door. I chuckled. This wasn’t the first time a patient or resident had rolled away from my intrusion into their precious sleep, nor would it be the last.
“Miss,” I said softly as I crossed the room and stood next to the bed. Her face was scrunched up in a grimace. I put my hand on her shoulder and gave her a little shake. “Miss? It’s time to wake up.”
She groaned and rolled her torso towards me, her eyes still clenched shut and moaned, “G’way.”
The girl was lucky that I am much more professional than I seem. I really wanted to grab a glass of water and pour it over her face. It would serve her right for dropping herself right into my perfectly normal life.
“Miss,” I said a little louder and more forcefully, taking a firm hold of her shoulder and giving her a strong shake.
Her eyes shot open and, with a gasp, she tried to sit up. I was lucky that I kept my hand on her shoulder, otherwise I would have sported a good sized lump on my noggin. She ignored my presence, her eyes darting all around the room in terror and confusion.
“Woah,” I said, pushing her back down onto the bed as gently as I could. “Easy.”
Her eyes focused on me and went as wide as dinner plates, her mouth working furiously at soundless words. Her skin went pale and she began to hyperventilate.
“Easy,” I repeated in the calmest voice that I could muster. “Easy, you’re okay.” Despite dealing with this kind of reaction from some patients on nearly a daily basis, it was still one of my weaker aspects of my nurse-patient interactions. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”
She relaxed back into the bed, her oddly violet eyes locked onto my face as I leaned back away from her. She was breathing hard, panicked, and she seemed to be biting her tongue.
“Well,” I said a little awkwardly, trying to find some kind of thread to start a conversation with. I made a few noncommittal noises as I took a long look at her in good light. Her hair was a vibrant shade of purple that could not have been cheap to dye, not to mention the pink streak was obviously the work of a very talented hair stylist. She was slightly pale, not unhealthily pale mind you, with the slightest hint of blush gracing her cheeks.
“W-Where am I?” she asked, her voice trembling ever-so-slightly before I could say anything. Something about her voice sparked across my brain, I had heard this young woman before.
“You’re in my guest room,” I replied calmly, pulling out an alcohol swab and cleaning my stethoscope’s earpieces, diaphragm, and bell; it gave my hands something to do. “Which, unless they’ve finished redistricting the neighborhood again, is still in the city of Austin, Texas.”
“Where?” She asked again, her voice now much stronger than before and mixed disbelief and confusion.
“Wow,” I said with a small chuckle that I couldn’t stop from bubbling forth. “I guess you hit your head pretty hard, didn’t you?”
I would never get an award for my bedside manner. She humphed in response and crossed her arms over her chest, scowling at me.
I smiled at her.
“Look,” I said, taking her right wrist with my hand and pulling it towards me, using one hand to feel for the radial artery. “Sorry about that, but I’ll bet its been a weird couple of days for the both of us, hasn’t it.”
She didn’t reply. She turned her head and opened her mouth to say something, but stopped short, staring in open wonder and amazement. I looked down at her arm and my own, but there was nothing out of the ordinary about either of our arms, unless you counted my tattoo.
Thinking that she was staring my tattoo, I extended my own arm towards her, forearm turned so that she could see the image proudly inked into my skin. It was a trick that I had used many times with scared children: Let them have a look at my tattoo, touch and poke at it, and they wouldn’t notice what I was doing. I have always been a fan of the Legend of Zelda series of videogames, and the moment that I turned eighteen years old, I immediately went out and had the Hylian Crest tattooed in dark red ink into my arm. Still don’t regret it, and I have more planned for after the wedding.
She reached out with the hand that I wasn’t holding onto and brushed her knuckles over one of the red wings before running her lightly balled fist down my forearms and, still using her knuckles, pawed at my hand for a few seconds.
“My name’s Matt,” I said after I found her pulse. It was as steady and strong as it had been when I found it the night previous; a little elevated, but still strong. I was about to ask her for her name, but Michelle shouted from the kitchen.
“Matt, ask her what she wants for breakfast!”
I chuckled and turned my eyes to meet hers, an easy smile on my face, before asking, “Well? Ya’ hungry?”
The flush that lit her cheeks as her stomach rumbled was answer enough for me.
She needed a lot of help getting out of bed and out into the kitchen. Emma dashing in and out from between our feet did nothing to help. The young woman grimaced and tried to hide her frustration as her legs refused to support her weight. She wasn’t heavy by any definition of the word, but her growing irritation at her own legs did make ambulation slightly difficult. She had one arm thrown around my neck and I had one arm around her waist. It wasn’t the best situation in terms of safety; I didn’t have a safety belt on her and she didn’t have any kind of assistance or support other than myself. I did my very best to make sure that her shirt stayed in place.
With a grunt, I set her down into one of the kitchen chairs and righted myself, rubbing my neck as it cracked in protest. She sat at the table and looked around, her hands on her lap as Emma put her front paws on the edge of her seat, begging already.
“Good morning little miss sleepyhead,” greeted Michelle, poking her head around the kitchen partition. “I’ll have your eggs off the fryer in a sec.”
“Oh,” she gasped, startled at my fiance’s sudden appearance. “Uh, t-thank you.”
“Its no problem at all,” Michelle laughed, ducking back over to the stove, I could hear the spatula moving against the metal of the skillet.
“What else can I get you to eat?” I asked the young woman as she scratched Emma behind her ears. “We’ve got fruit, toast, bacon, ham, and I’m sure that there’s more in the fridge somewhere.” I walked over to the fridge, yanked the door open, and started to dig around in the depths of the most-used kitchen appliance.
I didn’t notice her lack of a reply, as my head was buried in various tupperware containers of random leftovers.
“Never mind on the fruit there miss,” I called out of the fridge, tossing an empty bag out of the crisper drawer. “We’re out. Same with the bacon.”
“You did eat a whole pound of it..” Michelle snarked as I passed her, dropping a couple of pieces of bread into our toaster.
“Hush you,” I snapped playfully, scowling. It had been good bacon, too; thick cut, hickory smoked, and cover in black pepper.
I returned to the table to find a slightly green young woman still petting Emma and looking everywhere but up at me.
“Hey,” I said gently, dropping into the ‘caring health care professional’ persona that I had been perfecting. “What’s wrong?”
I reached out to touch her on her shoulder and she flinched away from me.
“Woah,” I said, yanking my hand back from her as though I had been literally burned.
“You-” she gasped. It seemed as though she was fighting back revulsion and tears at the same time. “You eat meat!”
That was unexpected.
“Well...” I floundered. “Yeah.”
The look of revulsion grew on her face, the green gradually making way for the flush of anger in her cheeks.
“Why?” She asked, her voice just above a whisper.
I wanted to be snarky and mean, and say something about how delicious it is, but something in the back of my mind told me that that would not have been the best course of action; my fiance’s hand on my shoulder certainly didn’t help the evil side of me, either.
“Uh,” I sighed, feeling Michelle’s hand tense on my shoulder as she leaned over to put a plate of scrambled eggs, toast, and a small salad in front of our guest. “I guess the easiest answer would be that there are certain proteins in meat that are just easier to obtain from meat than from other sources. Not impossible, but certainly easier.”
She looked up and met my eyes again. I was struck by how deep a purple they were. Whoever had made those contacts was going to be a very rich person once the process caught on with other cosmetic optics circles.
The three of us sat in a tense silence as she stared into my eyes, then she let out a long sigh and turned away from the two of us.
“I shouldn’t fault other ponies and their choices,” she apologized. I didn’t even notice the usage of the word ‘ponies’ instead of ‘people.’
“What kind of jam do you like?” Michelle asked, her bubbly personality breaking the tension nicely. “We’ve got grape, strawberry, apricot, and blackberry.”
“Oh, um,” mumbled the young woman for a moment. “Blackberry please.”
“Coming right up.”
With it being Michelle’s turn to dig around in the fridge, and Emma still begging at my guest’s feet, I figured that it would be a good time to get some more information out of her. I opened my mouth to ask for her name, at least, but I stopped short and watched her.
She was trying to pick up her fork with both fists, her tongue stuck cutely out of one side of her mouth. Only when she had finally managed to lift the utensil off the table and stick it into her eggs did she realize that there was going to be no way to get the fork into her mouth like that.
I felt bad for laughing at her, and her scowling at me did nothing to quell the waves of laughter.
“Try it like this,” I said taking the fork from her and showing her how to use it.
“Oh,” she gasped in surprise, flexing her fingers in front of her eyes in wonder before whispering, “How interesting.”
“Yeah,” I said, trying my hardest to not laugh as she fumbled with the fork. Only once she had gotten a few mouthfuls of the eggs did I press the conversation forward.
“So,” I said, both as a segue and as a way to let her know to stop eating for a second. “What is your name?”
She swallowed, smiled and said,
“My name is Twilight Sparkle.”
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Lo and behold, an update!
This is beginning to be quite enticing, sir/madam (if it wasn't already)
Keep it up!
bacon sucks!vote on sausage for best meat EVAH
Well, that was the longest I have had to wait for an update. Good to see that there is progress being made though.
1442681
yeah... writer's block is a bitch
A Twilight Sparkle update? And with bacon???
static.prtst.net/asset-proxy/9b5d02518209060bc8cef743562ccec0fb196424/687474703a2f2f766976656b73757274692e66696c65732e776f726470726573732e636f6d2f323031302f31312f686f6d65725f776f6f686f6f2e6a7067/http://viveksurti.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/homer_woohoo.jpg
Damn, read too fast... too good.
Gah, now I have to wait for another update.
Oh well. It's still enjoyable, all the way.
1443242
not nearly as long this time, I have the next four chapters outlined and ready to be written.
For some reason I really want Twilight to try meat. Quick, take her to the nearest Whataburger and get her a A1 hamburger! Those are fucking delecious!
Man, I'm really glad to see this up and going again. The prose continues to be nice and enjoyable, and the way the scenes mostly played out in a way that both you and Twilight could have wildly different interpretations of what was going on without the other knowing was amusing. I particularly enjoyed your interactions with Michelle; they hit "natural and easy-going" right on the head.
However, I feel you botched the vegetarian scene: The explanation you chose to give about why you eat meat makes no sense! I don't mean that it's inaccurate or hard to understand, but because it doesn't make sense as a response to another human hassling you about not being vegetarian. Why would you think that Twilight didn't know there was nutrition specific to meat? Talking about that may be a good explanation to give to a pony, but that's the problem... you don't yet know that she's a pony, and simply mentioning that you thought better of saying something snarky isn't adequate for explaining why you gave a response that sounds like it was thought out in advance with an extraterrestrial in mind.
Now on to the typos:
The chapter ended with a nice, understated cliffhanger. I hope I won't have to wait as long as last time to see its resolution, though!
Oh Christ... Here we go.
1443360
thanks for pointing out those typos, I fixed those.
As for the vegetarian scene, that's usually how I explain things to vegetarians that I meet and I have to explain myself to.
The Hylian Crest? I was hoping it was the Triforce.
And it's been too damn long since I saw an update on a Ponyfall story.
1443503
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f3/Crest_of_Hyrule.jpg
This, only in red.
1443510
Oh. That was a fast reply.
1443518
insomnia and hitting the refresh button tend to help with fast replies.
Bacon: The official meat of PonyFall!
You... Did good! Cheers mate!
I am loving where this is going.
if i may recomend one thing for this amazing story, could twilight and CO be planned for a trip down to johnson space center somewhere down the road, imagine her reaction at SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Last line would make me spit out my drink...
1442673 You will die for your insolence
!
1450475 meat brother i have found the perfect meat:touristinformationcentres.net/webshop/images/webshop/119/product/thumb/Free-Range-Cocktail-Sausages-wrapped-in-Streaky-Bacon.JPG
1450593
very well. You may live for now, but I'm watching you
.
The last line for me was followed by this Rainbow Dash in my head going:
Dun Dun DUUN!
Wow, this is easily just as good as Slorg's :o
Great to see this updated again! Great work, dude! Glad everybody is getting back on the horse with this collab
1443575
Damn straight.
Yay, new twilight ponyfall!
1443398 This chapter was good. Only problem I can find is similar to what 1443360 said. Unless I missed some key detail here, I would assume that, since all ponies we know about are "completely vegetarian" as well as at least other Equestrian species, its probably safe to assume that meat eating in civilized species is not only taboo, but near nonexistent. So, since twilight is a pony, even if the human character doesn't know it yet, she'd likely not know what bacon or ham was, seeing as how they are words for types of cooking meat, let alone eating it.
That bacony over analysis aside, I can't wait for more ponyfall!
1477266 I'd argue that the ponies and the griffons co-exist together. Not only that, they befriend one another. While we do have griffons like Gustav who bake pastries, I'd assume that not all of the griffons are vegetarian. As such, it wouldn't be much of a stretch to assume that since the ponies experiment with cooking things like eggs (Sisterhooves Social), the griffons probably experiment with meat.
Additionally, there was a ham sandwich in front of Applejack in the image here.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-rJ3lQT7ylQ0/TwfGoydjOgI/AAAAAAAAAQw/hpmjLHx_V5o/s1600/applejack_eating.gif
It can be argued that it's not actually ham, but it can also be argued that it is ham. In other words, we don't know enough about the ponies to make that judgement one way or another. Maybe they know about types of meat, maybe they don't. In the PonyFall universe, some of them do, and some of them do not.
EDIT - Also, this is Twilight Sparkle we're talking about. The biggest 'egghead' in Equestria. If any pony out there would have read about various foods, it would be her.
1481824 All good points, and now that I think about it, I think that I remember seeing a chicken drumstick or a string of sausage links somewhere anyways. I was just pointing out that, aside from background animations, ponies (and as far as we know, all other Equestrians) are canonically vegetarian so most likely wouldn't know about such things. Although, the fact that the equestrians actually have a word for vegetarian implies there are those who aren't.
I just think it felt a little forced, but still think this is going to be a good story. I'm sure there will be the usual explanations when they realize she's actually who she is, followed by the awkwards
1518519 It may interest you to know that the collab is now in motion. Well, sorta. I'm at "Encouragement whip" Stage with the auditions. If you want, you can join here.
And the fecal matter hits the rotating air translation device! Second Ponyfall I've read so far, think I'm gonna go find some more. Good stuff, keep it up!
1442673
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2009/2/13/128790164141170721.jpg
1688517 Heh, good news is that I didn't in fact die before I got back to The States, despite some of the sh
t that went down there recently 
. Oh well, stupid is as stupid does, as they say.
You may want to revise that.
1443510Do YOU actually have this tattoo. Because that would be awesome.
His eyes shall grow wide at such a revelation!
What I appreciate about this chapter is that you've caught the problems Twilight would be having dealing with a body that is structurally very, very different from her normal one. Bipedal posture? Fingers (and wouldn't Lyra be jealous)? Omnivorous diet? These are as alien to her as her true nature would be to us.
NIce job on capturing that and a nice job at not making your human OCs too perfect or too nice. They're two ordinary people who, unknowingly, have backed into a really, really odd world.
Here's a bet: At least at first, Matt is going to assume this girl is a Pegasister who was cosplaying and suffered traumatic amnesia. Looking like Twilight when she came around, her battered brain has locked onto the persona and history of the character Twilight Sparkle to identify itself; why else would she look like her? He isn't going to take her seriously unless she tries some magic... and it works. Until then, he's going to treat her as a human trauma case that needs kindness and care, nothing else.
Matt is going to think she's a pegasister with mental trauma, isn't he?
Wait, Texas? Isn't that where Valiant Crusaders takes place?
2819521: One fault of the Pony-fall series.. It's really a shame that almost all of them look the same with just diffrent characters :/
3582238 if you have not read them yet I would check out Merlos TheMad he has a universe set a little bit like this one so if you like this you really should give his a try.
(o do you know if it is bad form to suggest other story's in some one else's comment section? id hate to be rude like that)
2819521 In every story they do. You really don't have to ask that question.
Better than what I would have said: "They started it."
I am still convinced that the ponies despise eating meat, since they are naturally herbivores. But still there are some fics that argue with some pegasus tribes in certain regions eating fish. I can actually relate to that, since it only makes sense if some cloud city for example is above the coast. The pegasi would live from fishing, and technically fish falls into the category of seafood, which I could imagen ponies taking a bite out, rather then ham from pigs. Cow and beef are out of the question anyway since cows are sapient in their world, and can actually talk. Chicken do seem less intelligent and are only sentient and not sapient. Maybe the 'ham sandwich' in the table near applejack is for real a 'turkey sandwich', as this would make at least a bit more sense to have at the table. Still it would be considered somewhat of an 'exotic meal' I suppose.
Griffins are part lion part eagle, which are birds of prey, of course they could technically eat pig since it is in their nature. If ponies weren't sapient, I am convinced they would hunt them as well, or they may have even done so in the past, we just don't know. I'd suspect griffins to feast on smaller birds like chicken, turkey, seagull and also even other birds of prey. They obviously would hunt for fish, being half eagle and all.
As to Twilight's reaction and why she doesn't consider griffins on such a revelation... I would always pull the ignorance card on her. The grand idea is that ponies are generally very ignorant regarding other sapient races. They know that griffins exist and have some general knowledge on them, but even then the revelation that they can eat meat and even favor it, would just not sit well with them out of principal since they are used to living in societies made of herbivores. Carnivores are something they are not used to, since the very thought of eating an animal that isn't to far from their own species (especially when they are quadrupeds) is something that goes against their deity with them being herbivores and prey animals themselves. We can't be to sure but as I said, pigs are quadrupeds and prey animals just like ponies, so even if those are not sapient, ponies may still be disgusted if another species decides to take a bit out of them. Therefore, with cows being sapient in their world, hearing their meat in the deity of another species musts be absolutely horrifying.
We can make a ranking of their level of disgust towards a Carnivore's diet:
Fish = Is o.k, generally accepted, maybe occasionally eaten by pegasi.
Chicken/Turkey = Sad for the chicken/turkey, still ok though since it may be a culinary to a few ponies, but even more ponies are grossed out about it.
Pig = Is seen as disgusting since they are quadrupeds as well, though they are just sentient (probably since they never talk, just grunt).
Cow = A gruesome, gut wrenching revelation for everypony, since it implies murder of a sapient species of quadrupeds.