Home Is Where The Sanity Isn't

by Soufriere

Chapter 2 - Chaos Meets Stability

The Interstice: a world between worlds, a dimension between dimensions, a place between places …we all get the idea. Every colour imaginable plus some that aren’t suffused the sky, or what passed for it in this area, in a never-ending awkward bubbling swirl the sane mind could best compare to an oil slick, and an insane mind would call a quiet yet festive neighbourhood.

Of course, as with all worlds, some parts are more orderly than others. Entropy may be inevitable, but the very concept cannot exist without its opposites. Chaos is not exactly the same thing, especially to a being who called himself its god. Discord the Draconequus, who lived in the Interstice whenever not transformed into a statue, preferred a little order in his chaos, which would probably explain his nicely-kept yellow one-room wood house sitting on approximately four hundred square feet of grassy earth surrounded by a white picket fence except for a gap through which a short chert sidewalk led to the front door.

His massive brown snakelike form emerged from his door, taking care not to bump his head on the threshold again. He turned to a small trio of lilies on his left, bent down, conjured up a watering can from nowhere, and gave the plants a much-needed drink. In the meantime, the bushy white brows over his yellow eyes with red irises were heavily furrowed as he found himself forced to think. Discord preferred not to engage in such activity but felt this day he had no choice.

“I suppose,” he said to the flowers, “my form of Chaos isn’t really that chaotic in the grand scheme of things. I mean, all the pranks, stunts, and planned I’ve pulled out of my hat,” a blue top-hat suddenly appeared in his left hand before he summarily threw it off into the nether whereupon it exploded, “are nothing compared to the utter insanity of interstellar space. Especially how physics warps around a black hole. Oh sure, I could probably create a black hole in the middle of Ponyville and watch as all those lives disappear beyond the event horizon, but then they’d be dead, and where’s the fun in that? I guess ultimately I am a control freak, only liking chaos if I’m its master, which is the literal opposite of entropy, by definition controlled by no one; it simply is.”

The flowers did not respond, though they did perk up thanks to the watering.

“Also,” Discord continued, “I can’t cause as much mayhem in Ponyville as I would like or else I’d have to face the wrath of no fewer than three Alicorns, two of whom are effectively immortal and one of those is, well… Her. But I regret, my lovely little blossoms, that I must leave you to visit one of them. I don’t like taking orders from anyone. Except possibly Fluttershy; that mare raises …feelings… in me I haven’t felt in millennia.”

A cosmic wind blew past, causing the lilies to sway somewhat. Discord interpreted this as a response.

“Regretfully, no,” he sighed. “I don’t get to see the lovely Fluttershy or my dear Celestia today. I have to meet with that other one: the so-called ’Secret Princess’. She doesn’t even have thumbs but I’m stuck under hers for the time being, I guess because all the other princesses are busy? So, I guess I’d better be off.”

Discord waved goodbye to his flowers and poofed out of existence with a flash-bang.

---

Some distance away, maybe a hundred yards or a hundred miles (distance within the Interstice is impossible to calculate), Discord popped back into being. Before him stood an ancient green Earth-pony, wrinkled and swaying, her pure-white mane done up in a bun, orange-irised eyes slightly watery. She slowly smacked her perpetually dry lips as she appeared about to fall asleep in the middle of the endless void.

Once she noticed Discord, however, she perked up, a smile spreading across her withered face.

“Well, howdy there, Discord!” the old mare chimed, pleasant as could be, not the least bit intimidated to be facing a literal demigod.

Discord, for his part, sported a look of utter confusion. “Wait. Aren’t you …what’s her name? The owner of the apple farm… Granny Smith? I thought I was going to meet—”

Granny Smith held up her hoof, immediately cutting him off. “Oh right, sorry. You don’t know, do ya? Leave it to Celestia ta not bother givin’ anyone important details. It’s come back ta bite her more than once over the last couple centuries. In face it’s come back an’ bit ‘er in the here an’ now. Wel’p, I guess ya might as well learn. Gimme a sec.”

With that, Granny Smith closed her eyes and began to glow, radiating an orange aura. Over the course of a minute, her body morphed from that of a half-dead Earth-pony to an extremely youthful-looking Alicorn complete with long flowing golden mane. Not as regal as Princess Celestia, nor did she sport any gold or obsidian accoutrements, but she nonetheless radiated authority. When she spoke again, the old-mare waver was completely absent from her voice, although a trace of the rural accent remained. Discord knew this princess and knelt.

“Princess Antonovka? I… I…” he sputtered. “My apologies. I had no idea you and, of all ponies, Granny Smith, are one and the same.”

“Well, it ain’t something I like to broadcast, as I’ll bet you can understand,” she replied. “I don’t even like taking this form. I’d much rather be Granny Smith, to tell ya the truth. But, life just doesn’t give me that luxury sometimes. Celestia owes me a life-debt and, since she and I are both immortal, well, I think you can guess how that goes.”

Discord nodded. “I’ll admit I don’t know your story, but I know what it’s like to live for a long time.”

Antonovka smiled. “Oh, I’ve written it all down for Apple Bloom to read after I fake my death again to revitalize myself and assume a new identity. Not sure when I’ll do it, sometime in the near future when more ponies start asking uncomfortable questions. But enough about that. Down to business?”

“I suppose,” replied Discord with a sigh.

“Good,” Antonovka said with a furtive nod. “Now, one big promise I was able to pull out of Celestia back in the day was her vow to always protect Ponyville.”

“Well, she’s done a pretty lousy job of that the past few years,” retorted Discord with a chuckle. “Who would have thought I would be a mere blip on the radar in terms of disasters for that place? Anyway, what specifically do you, and by extension she, want me to do?”

“Celestia thought she could keep Orangeglow under control by making him Chancellor,” said Antonovka, “But instead, he’s whipped up his supporters into a frothing mob and no longer even pretends to respect the Diarchy. The Senate is afraid of him due to his network of bullies and spies and also they love his flagrant misappropriation of tax money.”

“Uh-huh,” Discord said as he dug some wax out of his ear, wherever it came from, with his claw. “And, let’s be absolutely honest, why should I care? The more low-key chaos, the better for my battered pride, even if I’m not the one causing it.”

“I thought you’d say that,” Antonovka replied. “And I’m sure you thought my request you protect Apple Bloom and her friends was a one-off…”

“Princess of… whatever… I may love mayhem, be it as spectator or participant, but I’ve also been around long enough to know the last thing I need is an angry Alicorn or two on my case,” Discord said with a shrug. “Even so, being heroic is still a bit outside my wheel-well.”

“Let me lay it out for ya then,” said Antonovka brusquely as she conjured up a map of the continent of which Equestria took up the bulk. Equus Mountain, site of ‘new’ Imperial Capital Canterlot was in almost the exact centre, with Ponyville a short distance to the southwest. She pointed to the mountain. “If Orangeglow succeeds in overthrowing Celestia and Luna, the careful balance between races and species cultivated over centuries will be gone. It’ll be open season for, well, everyone. Even you won’t be safe.”

At this, Discord scoffed. Antonovka raised her eyebrow and smirked.

“Ya lost twice to the Elements of Harmony—”

“—which no longer exist,” interrupted Discord. “Don’t ask me why returning them to the holy tree ended up spawning Twilight’s ugly palace. Regardless, what else could possibly stop me?”

“Tirek.”

“Touché,” Discord admitted. “But he’s in Tar… Hang on. You don’t mean…?”

Antonovka nodded. “Celestia told me Orangeglow wants to redirect funding for keeping Tartarus sealed to build that wall along the border with the Crystal Empire and also hiring a force to round up and deport non-ponies. I believe you met a group of Palace Guards he illegally requisitioned to do just that. Think about what it means for that hell-prison to not have enough guards.”

“I don’t have to,” said Discord with a shiver. “Tirek is bad enough without the dozen or so worse monsters also there: that freaky cat-lady, the elf, that witch who sounds like Frau Blücher…”

Somewhere off in the distance, horses neighed in fear. Princess Antonovka and Discord looked around in mild confusion for a second before she continued.

“Exactly. Most of those beings have been locked up since the First Age, before even you, Celestia, and Luna existed. Celestia hasn’t told me much about the inmates or what they can do, but I think you’d have a problem with most of them since, in this case, ‘Magic A’ is not ‘Magic A’. So, it’s in your interest to help Celestia protect Ponyville, especially my beloved Apple Bloom and the Mayor.”

Discord cocked his head. “Why the Mayor? Does she have some sort of important destiny thingy Celestia pulled out of her rump?”

“No,” said Antonovka, shaking her head. “I just don’t want to be in a leadership position again. Paperwork is boring and annoying. Keepin’ a low profile is kinda my thing. Also, hearing about Meyer’s antics with Spike and Apple Bloom makes my life more interesting.”

“You are the strangest Princess I’ve ever dealt with,” Discord said.

“That’s ‘cause I never wanted to be one,” she replied. “Ain’t too many ponies with the guts to refuse their destiny. ‘Course, I had a destiny before Celestia turned me into this.” She motioned to her horn and wings.

“A grudge against Celestia yet also some level of respect,” said Discord with a knowing smile. “We may be more alike than I thought, my dear Princess.”

Antonovka grinned as her orange aura enveloped her and she morphed back into Granny Smith. “I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding, Discord,” she said.

“Absolutely. So, your next order for me is…?”

“First an’ always, protect Apple Bloom, else yer gonna hafta deal with me. I may not look like much, but I’ve stood up to Celestia and made it out the other side without bein’ banished or turned into a statue. Second, do yer thing on Orangeglow even more than ya already did. He tried to hurt my kin, an’ I ain’t quick to forgive that. Make him suffer.”

A positively giddy toothy smile spread across Discord’s face. “With pleasure, my lady.”

Comments

[Munro]

wait what ?!? Oo, that explains so much...

[B_Munro]

Celestia could just banish Orangeglow to the Moon or something, after all...

[Iron Comet]

Let Luna deal with Orangeglow. Accidents happen and Canterlot is on top of a mountain afterall.

[Vaguely Demented]

Would be interesting to see all the old villains of gen 1 rampage in the newer times. Those that haven’t already had a converted version of them show up at any rate.