Thorax’s Conundrum, Spike’s Irritation

Spike, with how much work he does for the many creatures in his life, rarely gets time to himself. So you would think his good friend Thorax barging in with a problem while he is trying to enjoy himself would make the young dragon excited. Never a dull moment for Spike the Dragon it seems.

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TheAncientPolitzanian

TheAncientPolitzanian #1 · Jan 19th, 2020 · 1 · ·

Not amazing, but you're off to a pretty decent start, all things considered.

For future reference, keep track of what verb tense you're using and make sure none of your paragraphs become overly-long. Hope this helps!

Scyphi

Scyphi #2 · Jan 19th, 2020 · 3 · ·

Honestly, kinda have to sympathize with Thorax here--I'd run too.

Cyning Horsa

Cyning Horsa #3 · Jan 20th, 2020 · 1 · ·

I kind of want to see a sequel to this.

theOwtcast

theOwtcast #4 · Jan 20th, 2020 · 1 · ·

What I want to know is where Pharynx was in all this to, um, enforce order on the visitors. That's his job, isn't it?

Darth Revan the Gray

Darth Revan the Gray #5 · Jan 20th, 2020 · 1 · ·

10041963
Thanks , keeping a consistent verb tense is my major issue I have with writing in general, be it anything I write.

10042416
I have no plans for a sequel, but I have two ideas. Either A) Thorax having to adjust to having 9 wives, or B) Celestia having to play mediator to this.

10042086
In all honesty, who wouldn't

10042743
I'll admit, I forget about Pharnyx when writing this. Though, I feel he would both die laughing at first and then try to save his brother (without starting a massive war).

Scyphi

Scyphi #6 · Jan 20th, 2020 · 1 · ·

10042743 10043057
Of course, there's also the option of Pharynx offering himself up as an eligible bachelor too, especially as I could see him being maybe a bit more onboard with the idea than Thorax would be. And that way, Thorax would only have to deal with three to four wives at a time instead.